> >275 EXT. ARKHAM ASYLUM - NIGHT TOM: So, it's still night. MIKE: Yep. Pretty much. > > Moonlight illuminates the familiar castle out of > nightmare. > >276 INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM CORRIDOR > > Several ARMED GUARDS are rolling a giant CROW: Joint! > sub-zero refrig- > erator on a gurney, TOM: Get the refrigerator to sick bay, stat! > the door chained and padlocked shut. > Freeze is jammed inside, face visible through the torn off > freezer compartment door. > > HEAD GUARD MIKE: There's a specific rank. > You're the common cold. And we're > the cure. Welcome home, frost face. TOM: Ah, yes, Guard Chicken Soup and Guard Asprin. > > FREEZE > Allow me to break the ice. my name > is Freeze. Learn it well for it is > the chilling sound of your doom. TOM: Very scary coming from a man stuck in an Amana. > >277 INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM - FREEZE'S CELL - NIGHT > > Glowing rings on the floor and ceiling project a shimmer- > ing column of snowing cold within the center of the room. > > Two GUARDS dump a suitless Freeze ALL: Yuck! > out of his frigidaire > prison onto the floor, begin dragging him into the cold > field. > >278 Freeze throws off the Guards in a sudden fury, SHASHING > one in the head with closed fists, kicking the other in > the face. > >279 He rushes for the door. MIKE: Afraid it will attack him. > Mistake. As his body passes out > of the hypothermic field, he tumbles to his knees, his > skin turning gray as he begins to wither and die. > > GUARD (OVER) > Look at him stew. How do you like > your bad guy, medium or well done? MIKE: I'm a vegetarian. I like my bad guys vegetables. CROW: Like Poison Ivy(tm)? MIKE: Yes. Oh, yes. > >280 The Guards stand over him, Laughing as he crawls back > over the filed threshold. His color begin to return to > normal. > > GUARD #2 ALL: Electric Boogaloo! TOM: A joke beaten so far into the ground, it's reached China! > Get used to it. You're gonna be here > a very long time. > > Freeze looks up at the Guard who stands now at the wall > sink, washing his hands. A beat. Then Freeze smiles. > > FREEZE > I'm afraid not. You see the means > of my liberation is in your hands. > Sadly, you will not live to see it. TOM: Water and fingernail dirt is his liberation? MIKE: Let's not go there. > >281 EXT. GOTHAM ALLEY - NIGHT > > The entrance to an abandoned Turkish bath-house. Ivy and > Bane approach a boarded-up portal. CROW: Can someone confirm I am not hallucinating this. MIKE: No. TOM: No. CROW > > IVY > Batface and Birdbrain turned out to > be more resistant to my love dust > than expected. No matter, I'll give > them a stronger dose. next time, > they'll literally be dying for me. > >282 Bane SMASHES through the wooden boards with joined fists, TOM : Avon calling! > two by fours splintering like balsa. They disappear > inside. CROW: Er. His fists? > >283 INT. BLOSSOM STREET TURKISH BATHS - NIGHT TOM: Next to the Blue Oyster. > > Abandoned. Mid-eastern furniture crumbles. Slaves and > sycophants cover the walls, weeping color. TOM: Weeping sores. > > IVY > A fixer-upper, yes. But with a > certain homey charm. CROW: Hey homey! > > That's when the shadows in the cave begin to move. One > slips across the doorway. More appear on all sides, > encroaching. TOM : If you go to the Turkish Bathouse, you will die . . . MIKE : You do that way too well. > > IVY > Ah, a minus. Current tenants. TOM: I'm noticing a lot of inhabited abandoned buildings here. > > One figure steps into a column of moonlight. Pale. The > toughest of urban predators. These are a gang of punks > called the GOLUMS. MIKE : What has she gots in her pocketses? > > GOLUM > Hello, pretty. > > IVY > Hello yourself. I love this place. I > hope it's priced to sell. > > GOLUM > We love you. You look good enough to > eat. ALL: We love you, you love me, we're a dysfunctional family.! > > IVY > Oh, that I am. Come and get me. > If you can. TOM: It's catch the greased Ivy(tm) . . . er . . . never mind. MIKE: No, go on . . . > > The Golums close in. IVY SLAMS the activation stud on > Bane's chest. MIKE: This stud's name is Hunk Manly. > >284 BANE - CLOSE. Venom is pumped from his backpack through > the tubes on his back into his skull. TOM: He lets his head inflate and makes it into balloon animals. > >285 The Golums attack. But Bane hurls them off like animals. > Kick and beats them, tossing them into walls, until the > survivors race away. MIKE: Translation - insert interesting fight here. > > IVY > For the strong, silent type, you are > most persuasive. Let's redecorate. > (crossing the baths) > First, the light is all wrong. TOM: No, it's made of photons, it's fine. > >286 Bane rips a hanging board from the ceiling, the old > wooden planks tumbling to the floor, sudden moonlight > streaming in from above. MIKE: Ah, sudden moonlight. Like hanging on fast. > > IVY > Also, what is this floor? TOM: It's a flat surface you stand on or put things on. CROW: It's not about the floor, Ivy(tm), it's about the gear! > >287 Bane stomps the floor, now revealing the dirt beneath. > > IVY > Au natural. MIKE: I'd like to see her that way. > Still, I've always > hankered for something on the water. TOM: In GOTHAM(tm)? Here, have a slice of the river! > >288 Bane SHASHES a water main with his foot, irrigating the > soil. > > IVY > Now a little color. It took God > seven days to create paradise. > > Ivy withdraws a handful of tiny seeds from Bane's satchel. ALL: Eeeeewwwww! > IVY > Let's see if I can do better. > >289 Ivy drops the tiny plants on the ground. They begin to > sprout into vines that spawn fast-budding flowers. > > Ivy lifts the Welcome to Gotham Bauble in her hand. TOM: So that's what she calls it. > > IVY > Bane, I've found a fellow who strikes > my fancy. A cool customer, yes. Icy > demeanor, no question. But I detect > a certain ruthless charm I may be > able to use to my advantage. > (off the dead thugs) TOM: It's Off the Dead Thugs with Stone Temple Pilots! > >290 INT. WAYNE MANOR - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT CROW: Does anything interesting ever happen in the day here? Do they have night? Does anyone CARE? > > Candlelit. A table set for two. Alfred fills Bruce's wine > goblet, walks away. His forehead beads with sweat. A man > hiding pain. TOM: Alfred, old buddy, don't carry the whole barrel! > >291 BRUCE - POV. Across the table sits Ivy. She licks her > lips. CROW: And then her eyebrows! > > IVY > Bruce? > > Bruce blinks. Looks again. Not Ivy at all but Julie. TOM: Your cruse director. > > JULIE > You're not even listening to me. MIKE: You're not that interesting. > > BRUCE > What? I'm sorry. You were saying... > > JULIE > We've been going out over a year MIKE: And you've been coming out for nearly as long. > now and...Okay, here goes. Bruce, > I want to spend my life with you. > > Ivy saunters up behind Bruce, runs her hands down his chest. > Bruce rises, CROW: I bet he does! > shaking off the vision. Goes over to Julie. TOM: Please wear something green! > > BRUCE > Julie, I'm not the marrying kind. > There are things about me you > wouldn't understand. > > JULIE > I know you're a dedicated bachelor. > That you've had a your wild nights. MIKE: Yeah, K-N-I-G-H-T-S CROW: And Princes, and Pages . . . > > BRUCE > Wild doesn't exactly cover it. TOM : I've got bite marks on my buttocks a decade old and they're my own teeth! MIKE : That was weird. > > JULIE > But there's nothing you've done > under the cover of darkness I > couldn't learn to understand. CROW: At least without a CAD program. > > BRUCE > I wouldn't bet on that. MIKE: Neither would we. > > JULIE > I'm betting on you. You'll make > someone a good husband one day. TOM: And his name is Dick. > But I can't wait around forever. > Don't answer now. Just think it > over TOM: Tilt! Ding! Ding! Ding! Tilt! > (leaning close) > Here's some food for thought. > > They kiss passionately. Bruce opens his eyes. He's kissing > Ivy. He recoils. MIKE: Ah! A girl! > But it's only Julie before him, looking > up, puzzled. > > JULIE > Who's Ivy? > > BRUCE > What? > > JULIE > You just called me Ivy. Who's Ivy? > > BRUCE > I wish I knew. CROW: Good cover, Bruce! > >292 INT. BATCAVE - ROBIN'S COSTUME VAULT - NIGHT TOM : I don't believe he's kissing a girl. MIKE: Night. Gotham(tm) is on Daylight Investment Time. > > (OVER) loud MUSIC. Various magazine covers of Robin. Dick > is at his computer terminal, staring at a monitor. CROW: I can't type very fast with one hand. > >293 MONITOR - CLOSE. A newsphoto of the flower ball > survivors. MIKE: Who will appear with Off the Thugs! > > DICK > Enhance detail, 14 to 19. > > A corner of the screen is highlighted, the IMAGE expands. > IVY. > > DICK > Who are you? TOM : I already know your name. Have you nothing of your own . . . MIKE: You are REALLY getting to good with those imitations. CROW: Ah, he just downloads wave files into his vocal banks. TOM: Party-pooper . . . > > (OVER) an ALARM SOUNDS. The screen suddenly changes to an TOM: Avocado. > IMAGE of Barbara climbing out of her window, rappelling down > an exterior wall. MIKE: Buttcam! > > COMPUTER > Alert! Unauthorized motion within > specified parameters. MIKE : Exterminate! Exterminate! TOM: Yes, the Dalek security system, when you absolutely, positively have to exterminate something. > > DICK > Got ya! > > Dick is up fast, CROW: Nuff said! > heading for the door. MIKE : Last thing I noticed, I was heading for the door . . . > >294 OMITTED > >295 INT. WAYNE MANOR GARAGE - NIGHT - MINUTES LATER > > Barbara has donned her leathers once again. MIKE: Whip me, beat me, make me work for Lex Luthor! > She mounts the > competition bike. Kick-starts the ENGINE, peeling out into > the night. CROW: Cigarette anyone? > > Dick rolls another racer out of hiding in the shadows. ALL: Go Dick Racer, go Dick Racer, go Dick Racer go! > Pulls on his racking helmet. He kicks his ENGINE and starts > after her. MIKE: It'd be better using the whole bike. TOM: Yeah, I guess he's just riding an engine with training wheels. > >296 EXT. GOTHAM ALLEY - NIGHT > > Groups of motorcycle gangs have gathered. TOM: Did you guys here what happened to the Golums? > Each is rep- > resented by a single racer. Leather clad. Costumed. Dyed > hair. Pierced faces. TOM: These aren't good gang names. > Boys and girls for whom speed is a > drug, CROW: Speed IS a drug! > the streets their home. > > Barbara pulls up her bike. A rider (BANKER) looks her up > and down. MIKE: Then up and down some more. Two hours later, the movie resumes. > > BARBARA > What's the entry fee? > > BANKER > Two-fifty. > > Barbara nods, hands the cash. Another biker (SPIKE) steps > forward. > > SPIKE > You got a handle? CROW: Yeah, I'm that easy to pick up. > > BARBARA > Folks call me Three-Jump. MIKE TOM: I don't even have the energy to comment. But if I did . . . MIKE: You'd say "Bruce, Dick, and Alfred," I know, I know. > > SPIKE > You're the babe won the tunnel run > two nights ago. That was trike > racing. TOM: And this film is TRIPE racing . . . > This is the big time. Maybe > you should ride my hog instead. > > Barbara smiles. > > BARBARA > How about a side bet? > > As Spike and Barbara move in line beside the other racers, > another helmeted racer emerges from the shadows to pay his > entry fee. His face hidden by his helmet, Barbara can't > see that it's Dick. MIKE: So Dick regularly carries $250.00 on his person? Or did he hit an ATM? > > The racers, all helmeted, are in their starting positions. > Engines are REVVED. Banker raises a pistol in the air and > FIRES. TOM: Hawkman, tragically wounded, plummets out of the sky . . . > >298 Bikers SHOOT into the street. TOM: Gunning down several innocents! > Some go over the tops of >299 cars, others across the tops of stoops. CROW: It's the Jackie Chan 2000! > Barbara watches > as a biker beside her careens into an EXPLODING pile of > trash cans. > >300 Two bikers are going neck and neck towards a racing >301 truck. They split at the last instant, fly up off parked >302 cars, then hit the ground, one SPINNING OUT, the other > taking a position at the front of the pack. MIKE: And bringing up the rear . . . ALL: Beetlebaum! > >303 Barbara, Spike, two others hold the lead, leaving the > rest in the dust. One of the bikers hits an oil skid, > flies into a FIREBALL. MIKE: And a lighting bolt! And a sleep spell! > >304 THE FINISH LINE is a series of flashing yellow warning > beacons atop the incomplete construction of a draw-bridge > in the near distance. TOM: Warning, plot is thin here. MIKE: Near distance? > > The race is down to three, Barbara, Spike and a third > biker, all racing now onto the bridge, riveted steel > beneath their wheels. > >305 THE FINISH LINE is coming up fast, and just beyond the > line of flashing cones, an abyss separating the two as yet > unconnected sides of the bridge. TOM: I notice abysses are pretty thick here in Gotham(tm). > The trick is to cross the > finish line first, but not so fast you can't brake before > going over the edge into the water below. > >306 Spike is trying to keep up. But he's coming up on the > finish line too fast for his taste. > > SPIKE > Crazy broad. TOM: He's talking to himself. > >307 He hits his BRAKES, slowing, falling out of position. > Barbara looks across to see the racer on the other side. > Barbara can't see his face, but it's Dick. ALL: Duh! > >308 The finish line is coming up fast. Instead of braking, > both GUN their ENGINES. TOM: Pow! Pow! > >309 THE FINISH LINE - CLOSE. Barbara flies over the line, > Dick a hair behind her, and then both shoot over the edge > of the unfinished bridge, into the air, soaring high above > the abyss. TOM: They gaze into the abyss, and the abyss gazes back into them also. > >310 Dick's front wheel hits the metal roadway on the other > side of the gap, spinning rubber catching steel. > >311 Barbara's front wheel hits the edge badly, rolling > backward. > >312 Dick spins over his shoulder, sees what's happening. MIKE: Ow! His shoulder stays in place and his BODY rotates? > Barbara's bike is losing purchase, CROW: Since it's a rental? > slipping backwards > over the edge. > >313 Dick ditches his still moving bike and helmet, TOM: Ow! > rolling > off on tucked shoulder, leaping towards the edge as > Barbara's bike finally slips, she and her hog tumbling > downwards into the abyss. > >314 Dick's jump sends him over the edge, hands extended, feet > catching the lip of the bridge, hand grabbing Barbara's > ankle, her bike plummeting beneath her as her helmet falls > into the water below. > >315 Dick hangs by one foot, holding a dangling Barbara by her > ankle. > > DICK > So, this is where you hang out. TOM: Let yourself go, Dick . . . > >316 EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - NIGHT > > Barbara stands in the b.g. receiving her winnings from > Banker and Spike. Dick rights his bike as she approaches. TOM: Get this, they're not going to tell us how they got up there. CROW: Of course not. > > BARBARA > I could have made it, you know. I > didn't need your help. > > DICK > Whatever you say, lady. It's all in > a day's work for me. TOM: But we have made it very clear that it's night. > > Barbara tries to hand Dick her winnings. > > BARBARA > This is to replace the bike I lost. > I'll get you the rest. > > DICK > Keep it. > > BARBARA > Of course, Dick Grayson, ward of > the fabulously wealthy Bruce Wayne. > Why would you need a few hundred > dollars? > > DICK > Hey, what's your problem? TOM : My career didn't go that well after "Clueless." > > BARBARA > I guess, the truth is I'm just not > comfortable with the idle rich. Even > when they try to act like heroes. > > Dick pats the back of his seat. TOM: Kiss this, honey. > > DICK > Well you better get comfortable real > fast, sister. Cause we've only got > one bike and it's a long walk home. > >317/318 OMITTED CROW: This is the scene where she kicks his butt and takes the bike away. > >319 INT. WAYNE MANOR - GARAGE > > Dick and Barbara dismout. TOM: Woah! CROW: Guess I was wrong about those omitted scenes . . . MIKE: My God, it's not NIGHT or DAY. > > BARBARA > I started racing after my parents > died. MIKE : Funny, I wore spandex and beat people up. CROW: Is there anybody in any of these movies that has one, just one, parent alive? > There was something about the > speed, the danger, that took me out > of myself, that made the hurt > go away. CROW: Then I hit something and the hurt came back really bad! > You wouldn't understand. TOM: Yeah, your parents plunging hundreds of feet and splattering like overripe melons does NOTHING to you. > > DICK > You'd be surprised. CROW: And how! > > BARBARA > Street racing isn't exactly an > acceptable major at Oxbridge. They > kicked me out. it doesn't matter. > I've won enough money to do what > I've always dreamed. MIKE: How do you make a career out of bike racing? > > DICK > Just don't tell me you're hoping to > run away and join the circus. TOM: Oh, this film is just overflowing with sensitivity. > > They head towards the entrance tot he house. > > BARBARA > Alfred has supported me my whole > life. Now I'm going to pay him back. > I'm going to liberate him from his > dismal life of servitude. TOM: Alfred, born free. > > DICK > What are you talking about? TOM: Nothing much in particular, the scriptwriter doesn't know what he's doing. > > BARBARA > Servants, Masters, it's ridiculous. MIKE: Hey, leave people to their alternate lifestyles, OK? > Alfred is the sweetest, most noble > man alive and he's subjugated all > his life and dreams to someone else. > >320 INT. WAYNE MANOR - FOYER - WALKING - CONTINUOUS > > DICK > Alfred and Bruce are like family. MIKE: Again, guess the size of the 'f' people. > > BARBARA > Paying someone to prepare your > meals and do your laundry and > clean your dishes, you call that > family? TOM : No, I'd call it marriage. > > DICK > Alfred's happy here. > > BARBARA > Happy > (a beat) > You honestly don't know, do you? > You can't even see what's in > front of your own eyes. TOM : Oh, yeah, Bruce is as gay as a tree full of parrots, whadda ya think! > They've reached the main stair. Dick stares at her > puzzled. CROW: A guy does a WHAT with a girl? > > BARBARA > Look at his skin. TOM : Heck, I've caressed it! > At how he's hiding > the pain all the time. Can't you see > it? Alfred's sick. > > And with that, Barbara disappears upstairs. Dick stares > after her. TOM : Her can is getting huge! > > BRUCE (OVER) > Alfred's not sick. MIKE: He's just insane. > > Bruce steps from the shadows. Sits now at the foot of the > steps. > > BRUCE > He's dying. And I can't deal with it. TOM: You'd think being on ER would have helped. > > DICK > But he's never said a word- > > BRUCE > You know Alfred. He'd never say > Anything. But I can tell. MIKE: I'm not as dense as I seem, isn't that true Randy? > Until > you came along, Alfred was the > only family I ever had. Without > him, I don't know how I would > have survived. He saved my life, > Dick. And I've never told him. TOM : I think he knows you saved his life, Bruce. > > DICK > Talk to him, Bruce. There's nothing > worse than losing someone without > telling them how you feel. > > BRUCE > I'm scared, Dick. Maybe for the > first time in my life. I'm really > scared. MIKE: I've been psychotic, confused, and stupid, but never scared.