> >488C EXT. BATSLED - FLYING > > ROBIN > Youwsa! Nothing but air. TOM: Robin(tm) gazes into the writer's soul . . . > >488D EXT. BATBLADE - FLYING > > BATGIRL > (to the old theme) > Batgirl, baatgirl, baatgirl. MIKE: Damn you, Akiva Goldsman, damn you to hell! > >488E EXT. FROZEN RIVER > > The Batsled and the Batblade hit the ice running, WHIPPING > in alongside the speeding Bathammer. > > The Batvehicles BLAST towards the Observatory. TOM: At bat-speed! > >489 INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE PLATFORM - NIGHT > > Freeze stares at a monitor. The bat-team is now below the > observatory, at the base of the giant ice cliffs. > > FREEZE > Mr. Bane, I'll finish off the city. > You, as they say in showbiz, are > on. Take the boys and kill the kids. > But bring me the Bat. > >490 A GIANT CLOCK TOWER - CLOSE. 11:49 > > BATMAN (OVER) > We have eleven minutes to stop Freeze > And thaw the city. MIKE: Perhaps I'm just being picky, but if the city is frozen, I'd bet that clock isn't working. TOM: Maybe it's a gigantic digital clock. MIKE: Shut up. > > PAN DOWN >491 EXT. ICE CLIFFS - NIGHT > >492 Three tiny figures scale the ice using pitons and ropes. > PUSH IN. MIKE: Pull out . . . oh, it's just not fun any more. > > BATGIRL > This is easy. TOM: I just let me stunt double do everything, even the acting! > > ROBIN > Crimefighter's rule number one: > never say that. > > BATGIRL > Why? > >493 THE LEDGE ABOVE THEM. Suddenly a score of ice-climbing > Thugs pour over the edge on ropes, sliding down, FIRING > their guns madly. > >494 ROBIN > That's why. TOM: It'll summon a plot device. > >495 A SHOOTER comes flying down a rope straight towards them, >496 guns BLAZING. Robin swings wide on his rope, grabbing > Batgirl, pulling her out of the line of fire. They hit a > snow bank and roll. > > BATGIRL > Does this mean we're going steady? TOM: Haha. Ah, the romance. The passion. > >497 Four figures land on the snow beside them. Icemen, guns > drawn. > >498 EXT. ICE CLIFFS - NIGHT > > Batman uses batpitons to pull himself up onto a ledge just > below the Observatory. That's when another wave of Icemen > descend on him from the mists. TOM: Icemen in the mists, with Sigourney weaver and Ice-Miser. > > Batman reaches for a batarang. A beat. Then he smiles. > > BATMAN > Let's do this the old-fashioned way. MIKE: With real characters, believable action, and genuine human emotion? > > Batman leaves his batarang belted, begins wailing on the > Icemen using only his hands and feet, flying back fists, > and spinning roundhouse kicks felling the thugs one > after another. > >499-504 OMITTED CROW: Poignant moment reflecting on society's inhumanity and alienation removed for clarity. > >505 EXT. ICE CLIFFS - NIGHT > > Robin and Batgirl move back to back, surrounded now by a band > of Icemen. Robin notices a heavily cantilevered overhang of > snow. > > ROBIN > Crimefighter's rule number two. > > BATGIRL > I'm afraid to ask. TOM: I'm afraid to WATCH. > > ROBIN > Be ready for anything. > >506 Robin puts his hands together and YELLS. TOM: Ricooooooooooooooollllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! > The ECHO shoots > up the hill. A tremendous RUMBLING comes back down, the > overhang of snow dumping on several Icemen. > >507 OMITTED > >508 Robin does a standing backflip into the Thugs behind him. >509 Batgirl goes down, CROW: Woah! > taking out several more with a deft > leg sweep. > > BATGIRL > (kicks a thug) > Pow! > (punches another) > What! > (backhands a third) > Kazow! TOM: Curse Goldsmith! A curse on his seed and all his progeny, a curse, a curse . > > ROBIN > (fighting) > What exactly are you doing? TOM: MAKING ME SUIDICAL! MIKE: Woah, calm down Tom. > > BATGIRL > I don't know. It just feels right. TOM: Sorry, Mike. I just suddenly remembered the Adam West televisions how, and it's Shakespeare and Asimov all rolled into one compared to this tripe. > >510 Batgirl and Robin begin fighting their way through the > Icemen up towards the Observatory. MIKE: You know, if they just made the Icemen see how dumb this is, they'd get up there in a flash. > >511 INT. OBSERVATORY - NIGHT > > Batman pulls himself up onto the aperture ledge as Robin > and Batgirl climbs in from the other side. The giant > chamber is empty, the telescope still aimed at Gotham. > > BATMAN > No sign of the snowman. > > ROBIN > Maybe he melted. MIKE: That's right, Gotham(tm) is an Ice Capade nightmare, take the time to make jokes. > >512 Batman SHOOTS a batgrapple into the ceiling, swings > across the room, dropping two bat-charges at the feet of > the frozen Scientists, continues his swing landing on the > telescope platform. > > BATGIRL AND ROBIN swing onto the Telescope platform to > join Batman. > >513 THE BAT CHARGES begin to glow, their radiating heat > starting to melt the Scientists. TOM: Woah, a puddle-o-PhD! > >513A BATGIRL > I hope you've got about ten million > more of those little toys. > >514 Batgirl points at the control console clock. 11:52 > >515 ROBIN > Eight more minutes and a city full > of Gothamites are ice cubes forever. TOM: Some may be Ice-T's as well! > > BATMAN > Sunlight could reverse the freezing > process. CROW: So could love . . . > > BATMAN > Sunrise isn't for five hours. > > BATMAN > Here. > > ROBIN > But it's morning in the Congo. TOM: So if we moved Gotham(tm) to the Congo . . . > >516 Batman points to a screen showing a graphic represent- > tation of the satellites in orbit. > > BATMAN > If we could relay the sunlight- CROW: We could make the plot totally stupid! > > ROBIN > From the other side of the equator- > > BATGIRL > It'll take the satellites about a > minute to re-align, but...damn! > > ROBIN > Damn? Damn is not good. TOM: Dick good. Bruce good. Barbara good. Damn bad. > > BATGIRL > Those targeting mirrors are frozen. > The sun beam won't work. > >517 PULL BACK TO REVEAL TWO SMALL MIRRORS sitting on the > telescope barrel. Both are encased in ice. CROW: To preserve freshness. > > BATMAN > I'll set the telescope. You two > thaw the mirrors. > >518 Batgirl and Robin race out onto the telescope, each > pulling a laser from their utility belts. > > BATGIRL > I love this belt. Can I get a > matching handbag? MIKE: And how long ago was she berating Ivy(tm) for making women look bad? > >519 Their LASERS FLARE. Batgirl and Robin begin thawing the > mirrors. > >520 BATMAN goes tot he main console, begins working the > keyboard. > > BATMAN > Who ever thought Aunt Harriet's > typing lessons would lead to this? TOM: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Not Aunt Harriet! Not her, not here . . . > >521 EXT. EARTH - VIEW FROM SPACE > > Satellite thrusters FIRE. The giant orbital mirrors > begin to turn. > >522 INT. OBSERVATORY > > MONITOR - CLOSE. Graphic satellites begin to adjust. > TARGETING flashes over a blinking graphic of Gotham > A digital clock reads: 11:54. TOM: I feel the tension! No, wait, that's disgust. > >523 BATMAN - POV. As he aims the telescope. The skyline >524 through the crosshairs is suddenly obscured by a blur as > Freeze drops from the rafters onto the telescope, his face > now visible in the targeting scope. > > FREEZE > Tonight's forecast... CROW: Total crap > (smiles) > ...a freeze is coming! >525 OMITTED MIKE: My thoughts on that last line OMITTED. > >526 Freeze grabs Batman and hurls the caped crusader up over > his head onto the telescope barrel, using his free hand to > yank the telescope control joystick. The telescope tilts > sharply downward. > >527 BATGIRL AND ROBIN tumble down the telescope barrel, > rolling towards the lens and the drop TO the city below. > >528 BATMAN tumbles, rights himself, spins. MIKE: Prances. Pirouettes. > >529 BATMAN - POV. Freeze is climbing towards the control >530 console. Batgirl and Robin are rolling towards the end > of the telescope. > >531 No way to get both. A beat. Batman rushes towards > Freeze. TOM: You brute, you brute, you brute! > >532 EXT. OBSERVATORY > > Batgirl and then Robin tumble off the end of the >533 telescope, dropping towards the city below. CROW: See ya later kids! > >534 INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE PLATFORM > > Freeze has reached the main telescope control. He hits > a switch. > >535 MONITOR - CLOSE. Graphic satellites blink red under the > flashing message: TARGET LOCK DISABLED. Clock reads: 11:56 > >535A EXT. SPACE MIKE: Exterior space? > > THRUSTERS quit as the satellites stop turning. > >535B INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE > > Batman is struggling up the slope of the telescope towards > Freeze. > >535C Freeze pulls the control level. The telescope begins > to tilt and spin madly, the ambient condensation creating > an indoor snowstorm. TOM: Of course . . . > > Batman goes down, hanging from the telescope frame. > >536-541 OMITTED > >542 EXT. OBSERVATORY > > BATGIRL is plummeting towards the city below. Robin is >543 falling a couple of feet above her. He FIRES a bat tether > over his head. > >544 ROBIN'S GRAPPLE secures in a glacier-like overhang. > >545 ROBIN reaches down for Batgirl as Batgirl reaches up > towards him. > >546 OMITTED CROW: And here is where, somehow, they catch each other. MIKE: This is the LAZIEST scriptwriter I have ever seen! > >547 INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE > > Batman flips himself back up onto the wildly spinning > telescope, advancing on Freeze and the control console. > > BATMAN > Millions will die so you can save > on air conditioning. Isn't that > taking self help a little too far? > >548 Freeze draws his pistol. MIKE: And then draws "Timmy." > > FREEZE > We aim to... > (fires) > ...Freeze. > > Batman deflects the blast with his suit armor. > > FREEZE > That's new. Let's swing. > >549 OMITTED CROW: Batman's(tm) terribly wrong interpretation of Freeze's(tm) request, omitted. > >550 Freeze smashes the control joystick to the stop, the > telescope's spin accelerating, swinging towards... > >551 THE TWO SCIENTISTS have finally melted, stand drenched > on the Tower Platform, the massive Telescope now careening > towards them. > > SCIENTIST > This just isn't my day. MIKE: We can relate. > >551A THE TELESCOPE SMASHES directly into the TOWER PLATFORM. > The platform begins to topple. > >551B ASSOCIATE > Up, up and away. MIKE: That's right, keep degrading Superman(tm) . . . > >551C As the platform falls CRASHING onto the floor below, the > two PhDs leap, landing safely on the swinging telescope, > hanging on to the tensioning bar for dear life. > >551D SCIENTIST > PhDs rule! TOM: Kiss my grant request, world! > >551E FREEZE is thrown by the impact of the telescope hitting > the tower into the Telescope Platform rail, his gun falling > to his feet. CROW: He really ought to get a gun that's easier to hold. > >552 OMITTED > >553 EXT. OBSERVATORY > > Robin's hand is inches from Batgirl's, the city coming up > fast. TOM: By now they should be jelly! How tall IS that observatory? > >554 INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE CONTROL PLATFORM > > Freeze is scrambling for his gun. Suddenly a figure looms > above him. Batman. > >555 Freeze draws. Batman kicks the gun out of his hand. The > two begin to fight on the twirling platform. A battle of > titans. > > BATMAN > You've turned Gotham to ice. > (a right) TOM : Ya. > You've endangered countless lives. TOM : Ya. Thank you. > (a left) > It's payback time. TOM : Ya. Oh, dat's baaad! > >555A Batman KNOCKS Freeze with a mighty punch, hurling him > onto the back of the telescope. Batman turns towards the > console, TYPING commands. MIKE : Is this the Korn shell, or Solaris?!?!?! > >555B MONITOR - CLOSE. TARGETING. Graphic satellites flash > green. Clock reads: 11:58 > >555C THE MIRRORS overhead open, beginning to glow with ambient > sunlight. CROW: Mirrors overhead? MIKE: I think the observatory is built like a compact. > >555D Freeze SCREAMS at the emerging light, leaping onto > Batman, sending the caped crusader sprawling onto the > barrel of the telescope. He advances on the fallen bat. TOM: I am going to give you SUCH a noogie! > >555E Freeze kicks Batman hard in the face, the hero rolling > down the telescope towards the opening and Gotham beyond. > >556 EXT. OBSERVATORY > > Robin grabs Batgirl's hand as Batgirl FIRES a batarang >557 from her wrist. Robin's tether pulls taught, the boy > wonder holding Batgirl dangling over the city. > > ROBIN > I've got you. ALL: Babe! TOM : Don't call me Babe! > >558 ROBIN'S GRAPPLE rips free from the melting ice. > >559 BATGIRL'S GRAPPLE hits the metal roof above. Holds firm. > >560 ROBIN'S line tears free, Robin falling as Batgirl's > tether pulls tight, Batgirl now holding Robin > dangling above Gotham. CROW: Put your pants on, Robin(tm)! > >561 BATGIRL > No. I've got you. > > She pulls him eye level. The two hang suspended, face to > face. MIKE: Did you have seafood for lunch? > >562 INT. OBSERVATORY > > Batman is tumbling towards the open slat and Gotham below. > >563/564 OMITTED > >575 He slows his fall, stopping on the barrel. MIKE: We would have shown you how he did that in scenes 563/564. > > VOICE (OVER) > Wow. Batman. > > WIDER. The two Scientists are clinging to a targeting groove > along the body of the barrel. > > SCIENTIST > I've seen you on TV. MIKE: Can you get me Green Lantern's(tm) autograph? > >566 BATMAN - POV. Freeze is heading back to the control > panel. > > BATMAN > Nice to meet you. Can you give me > any more height on this thing? > >567 The Scientist reaches down to a red EMERGENCY lever. > > SCIENTIST > Going up. TOM: So the telescope has an "emergency up" lever? > >568 He pulls the lever and the telescope tilts straight up, >569 sending Batman soaring into the air towards the dome > above. TOM: Into the ceiling and down a wall, a bloody, pulpy smear! > >570 Batman flips in mid air, dives, SMASHING directly into > Freeze, the villain CRASHING over the edge of the control > platform and into the freezing engine. > >570A OMITTED > >571 THE MIRRORS overhead align, the beams of sunlight hitting > the freezing engine. > > Freeze is struck by the rays, the sun penetrating his > damaged suit. > >571A THE TELESCOPE activates, a powerful THAWING BEAM shooting > from it's giant lens. > >572 Batman turns to Freeze, the villain beginning to gray and > wither. > > BATMAN > You're loosing your cool TOM : And my lunch. > > FREEZE > I think not. There'll be no hot > time in this old town tonight. > (pulls a remote) > You'll get a charge out of this. > >573 He presses a button. As Freeze rolls out of the sunlight, > falling towards the floor below, CHARGES around the tele- > scope base EXPLODE. MIKE: Oh no, the telescope! TOM: There goes my favorite character! > >574 The TELESCOPE tilts, dropping out of the open slat > towards Gotham, taking a chunk of observatory floor with > it. > >575 EXT. OBSERVATORY > > Robin and Batgirl are just pulling themselves onto an ice > ledge beneath the dome slat as the giant telescope carrying > Batman and the two Scientists plummets over them towards the > city below. > >575A ROBIN > Now that's what I call an exit. CROW: Ha. Friend dying. Robin(tm) joking. > > BATGIRL > (looking past Robin) > Please tell me he's on our side. > > A figure steps out from behind the ice. BANE TOM: Steroid-Santo? Probably not on your side. > >575B Robin coils, leaps into a spinning roundhouse, but Bane > KNOCKS him away, the boy wonder flying hard into the snow. > > The monster begins advancing on Batgirl. > >576/577 OMITTED CROW: Batgirl's(tm) patented zimmel-fu omitted. > >578 EXT. TELESCOPE - FALLING > > Batman slides down the telescope towards the two Scientists, >579 simultaneously FIRING a double ended bat-tether, two > grapples SHOOTING horizontally into the air. MIKE: Does he ever run out of those things? CROW: I hope. > >580 EXT. OBSERVATORY > > BATGRAPPLES - CLOSE. Sink into the arms of the giant > sculpture holding up the Observatory just as the telescope > plummets past. > >580A EXT. OBSERVATORY - ICE LEDGE > > Robin shakes off the blow, looks up to see Batgirl fending > off Bane with a fast series of punches and kicks. She might > as well be hitting steel. TOM: . . . played by Shaquille O'Neil. > >580B ROBIN > (to Robin) > Don't worry. I've got him. > > Just then Bane SLAMS her into an ice wall by the throat, rears > back with his fist, about to deliver the killing blow. > > ROBIN > No. I've got him. TOM: I think he's got YOU two. > >580C Robin leaps, ripping off the tubes leading from Bane's > injector pack to his skull, venom spraying wildly into the > air. CROW: Eeew! Bane-stain! > >580D Bane hits the snow, writing, as the venom effect is > reversed. His muscles shrink, his form diminishing until > he is again a scrawny prisoner, struggling in the folds of > his costume. > >580E ROBIN > You should get that suit taken in. > No one's buying baggy anymore. MIKE: Plug the tubes back in, Dick. PLEASE> > >581 EXT. TELESCOPE - FALLING > > The ground is rushing up below them. TOM: No, that's relativity. Technically, they are really rushing up to the ground! > > BATMAN > Grab my belt and hang on. > > The Scientists each grab one side of Batman's utility belt. > >582 THE CABLE pulls taught, slowing Batman's fall, the > telescope dropping from under them as the cable bends like > a bow, Batman and the Scientists sinking at its center. > >583 The cable reaches its nadir over an outcropping of rock > on the cliff. Below the telescope EXPLODES into the frozen > river. > > BATMAN > This is your stop. > >584 Batman pushes the Scientists onto the ledge, the reduced > weight SHOOTING the cable taught, ROCKETING Batman up > towards the dome like an arrow. MIKE: And then over it! > >585 INT. OBSERVATORY > > Batman flips in through the telescope slat, followed > immediately by Batgirl and Robin, all landing together on > the observatory floor. > > ROBIN > Winded, old timer? MIKE: Snotty, young timer? > > BATMAN > Don't make me kill you in front > of the girl. TOM : Oh, I don't mind. > > BATGIRL > It's midnight. MIKE: Should we let it all hang out? > The telescope's gone. > There's no way to thaw the city. > > BATMAN > Theoretically, the satellites could > be positioned to thaw the city > directly. But it would take a > computer genius. > > ROBIN > I'm on it. MIKE: Didn't hear him that clear, did you Dick? > > Robin clears the rubble from a fallen console, begins to type. > Nothing. The equipment is dead. TOM: They invoke the spirit of Babbage to give it last rights. > > BATGIRL > (shouldering him aside) > No. I'm on it. > > She quick patches a couple of broken wires, the console > lighting up, WHIRRING to life. Begins hacking. > > BATGIRL > Ms. Genius. Madame Genius. her > Geniusness. Which sounds better? MIKE: How about annoying snot? > >586 EXT. EARTH - VIEW FROM SPACE > > The giant orbital satellites finally align. A full disk of > the sun appears in the mirror, beamed from one to the next > and then the next, the beam cutting downward towards. > >587 EXT. GOTHAM SKYLINE > > The giant rays of focused sunlight begin warming the city. > >588/589 OMITTED MIKE: A believable scientific explanation for this apparent moronic display, OMITTED. > >590 NEXT. OBSERVATORY - NIGHT > > Rays of light hit the Observatory, melting the ice covered > stone. > >591 INT. OBSERVATORY FLOOR > > Batman walks over to Freeze who lies amidst the rubble, weak > and gray with the growing heat, straining to BREATHE. > > FREEZE > Go on, kill me too. Just as you > killed my wife. TOM: Why thanks! Don't mind if I do! > > BATMAN > I didn't kill your wife. > > Batman presses a button on his utility belt. > > BATMAN > Run Ivy evidence tape 001.40. > >592 BATMAN'S GAUNTLET - CLOSE. A tiny monitor shows an image > of Poison Ivy. > > IVY (OVER) > As I told Lady Freeze when I pulled > her plug, this is a one woman show. MIKE: So Batman(tm) had an entire camera setup when he was watching Robin(tm) suck face with the sunflower? > > FREEZE SCREAMS his rage. His face streams with frozen > tears, like tiny diamonds. > > BATMAN > But she's not dead, Victor. We found > her, restored her icy slumber. TOM: Those scenes, of course, were OMITTED. > >593 BATMAN'S GAUNTLET MONITOR shows Mrs. Fries restored in > cryogenic slumber. > > BATMAN > She's still frozen, Victor, alive, > waiting for you to find a cure. I > know what it's like to lose > everything you've ever loved. But > vengeance isn't power. Any two-bit > thug with a gun can take a life. To > give life, that's true power, a > power you once had. I don't know > if you'll ever find a cure for your > wife. But I'm asking you now, Doctor > Victor Fries, to save another life. > Show me how to cure McGregor's > Syndrome Stage One. And maybe you > can also save the man your wife > once loved. He's still inside you, > buried somewhere deep beneath the > snow. Will you help me? Doctor? MIKE: After a line like that Freeze(tm) is asleep! > > Freeze stares at Batman. Finally he unseals his > chestplate, removes two glowing power orbs, holds them > out, his smile, bittersweet. TOM: It's a Guyver unit! > > FREEZE > Take two of these and call me in > the morning. CROW: Let's hope that's the last one-liner. > >594 INT. WAYNE MANOR - ALFRED'S QUARTERS - NIGHT > > Robin and Batgirl watch as Batman attaches the modified > power sources from Freeze's suit to Alfred's life-support. > > BATMAN > All we can do now is wait. > (takes Alfred's hand) > And hope. TOM : Because sometimes hope is all we have. MIKE: Would you stop that . . . > >594A EXT. ARKHAM ASYLUM - NIGHT > > The prison is secure once again. CROW: It received counseling. > >594B INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM CELL - NIGHT > > Ivy sits in the barred moonlight, staring out the window, > holding a small flower in her hand, pulling the petals > out one by one. > > IVY > He loves me. He loves me not. > He loves me. he loves me... > > VOICE(OVER) > Not. > > A figure stands cloaked in shadows. He steps forward. > Mr. Freeze. > > FREEZE > (off his suit) CROW: Aigh! Put it back on! > It's amazing what you can buy around > here for a few dozen diamonds. > > Freeze begins coming towards her, menacingly. MIKE: Schwarzenegger could be wearing a Little Lord Fauntleroy suit and he'd still be menacing! > > FREEZE > Prepare for a bitter harvest. > Winter has come at last. > >595 EXT. WAYNE MANOR - DAWN > > Morning breaks on the great old building. TOM: As does wind. > >596 A PILE OF PIZZA BOXES - CLOSE > > PULL BACK TO REVEAL > >597 INT. WAYNE MANOR - LIVING ROOM - DAWN > > World War III was lost in this room. Strewn clothes. > Barbara dozes on the couch. Dick paces. Bruce stands, > staring out the window, afraid he has lost Alfred forever. > > (OVER) a THROAT CLEARS. LOUDER. > > All look up. Alfred is descending the stairs. Scowling. TOM : I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Kane. > > BRUCE > Alfred, are you...? CROW: No, I'm dead you twit! > > ALFRED > Rather disappointed at how poorly > I taught you proper housekeeping. > (a beat) > And quite well, it seems. Thanks > to you, son. Thanks to you all. > > The three move to him. A family reunion. Dick turns to > Bruce. CROW: For so much . . . > > DICK > One question. When Batgirl and I > rolled off the telescope, how > come you didn't try and save us? > It was the first time I fell and > you weren't there to catch me. MIKE: Because I resent you, you Gen-X snot. > > BRUCE > I know you could handle it. > > Barbara CLEARS her throat. Dick shoots her a look. > > BRUCE > Sometimes counting on someone else > is the only way to win. > > BARBARA > Hey, I'm the one who kicked Ivy's > botanical butt. Personally. Me. I did. CROW: Geez, it's John Galt in leather tights . . . > > BRUCE > You are going back to school. > > DICK > You're never going to win this > argument, Bruce. > > Barbara extends her hand. > > BARBARA > Partners? > > A beat. The other heroes follow suit. A team is born. TOM: By everyone extending their hands? > > BRUCE & DICK > Partners. TOM: Do you, Bruce and Dick, take each other to have and to hold, with Batgirl(tm), in Mental Sickness and Mental Health, against the Penguin(tm) or the Joker(tm) . . . CROW : Yes, let's make lots more bad movies together! > > ALFRED > We're going to need a bigger cave. > >598/599 OMITTED > >600 EXT. BATSIGNAL - NIGHT > > Three costumed avengers race into the night. > > FINAL FADE TO BLACK > > > > THE END MIKE : Yes! We've done it! TOM: It's about the gear, folks! It's about the gear! [THEY EXIT TRUMPHANTLY] [SOL BRIDGE. THREE LARGE CONTAINERS MARKED 'NANITE(tm) PORTABLE SHOWERS' HAVE SOUNDS OF WATER FLOW COMING FROM THEM] MIKE
: You guys feel clean yet? CROW : No, I need to scrub myself with lye a bit more. TOM : I'm almost there Mike. I found thinking about John Byrne and Grant Morrison helps. [THE SOUNDS FROM MIKE'S CONTAINER STOP. HE STEPS OUT, WRAPPED IN A TOWEL. ENJOY, FOLKS] MIKE: I think I scrubbed the script off. Whew! [CROW AND TOM EMERGE FROM THEIR CYLENDARS, ALSO WEARING TOWELS] TOM: Did that stink or what? CROW: Like a dead woodchuck Tommy. MIKE: I'm glad I didn't SEE the film. TOM: At least we're away from Pearl, Bobo, and Observer. CROW: Yeah, the Witch, the Ape, and Casper the Unfriendly Host! TOM: Yeah, Blondie, Furry, and Whitey . . . MIKE: Yeah . . . [LIGHTS FLASH] MIKE: Uh-oh. We've got . . . [PEARL'S SPACECRAFT. NEITHER SHE, BOBO, NOR OBSERVER LOOK HAPPY] PEARL: My ears are burning Nelstone. BOBO: Oh, then let me put them out, Lawgiver . . . PEARL: Touch me and you're a carpet, Bobo. BOBO: OK. OBSERVER: Pearl, please, you were about to threaten Mike and his cohorts? PEARL: Thanks. Well, Mike, you thought you escaped, you thought you'd gotten away . . . [SOL] MIKE: Well, yeah. [PEARL'S SPACECRAFT] PEARL: Well, guess what I found here in the Phantom Zone(tm), Nelsonide. A few fellow travellers who were busy fighting among themselves gave it to me. [PEARL LIFTS A SCRIPT] PEARL: Get ready for something stinky, Mike. SUPERMAN REBORN!!!!! > IVY > Not good. \ | / \|/ --- o --- /|\ / | \