<@ 2 3 4 5 6> MIKE: Hi, everybody, welcome to the Satellite of Love. I'm just finishing up a commuted death-sentence here. I wonder where Tom and Crow are? MIKE: Uh-oh... I wonder what THAT could be...? GYPSY: Uh, Mike? Ummm... nice weather we're having, huh? MIKE: Well, yeah, I guess it is... Hey, have you seen Crow or Tom anywhere? GYPSY: Yeah, it hasn't rained here in about 500 years or anything. Yep. Nice weather.... MIKE: Gypsy... What's going on? GYPSY: Huh? Oh, I... uhhhh.... MIKE: Gypsyyyyyy.... GYPSY: TOM AND CROW ARE BUILDING A RAINMAKER! MIKE: What? Why? CROW: Hi, Mike! Nice weather we're having, huh? MIKE: Well, I'm not really dressed for it, actually... TOM: Oh, don't be a worry wart, Mike-a-rino! We just had to get some rain for our petunia farm downstairs, and seeing as how the ship doesn't have any weather patterns of its own and all... well... we just thought we'd make our own! CROW: Yeah. And don't worry about getting electrocuted, what with all this *dangerous and sensitive electronic equipment all around*. Our rain slickers are 100% insulating! MIKE: Oh, well, that's great, but what about me? GYPSY: Uhhh.... CROW: Well what about you? TOM: Yeah, what are *you* worried about? You don't have metal parts that are just dying to soak up an electrical charge! MIKE: Oh, thanks, Gyps... MIKE: We'll be right back... MIKE: That was really dumb you guys! Sheesh! TOM: Yeah, but our petunias look GREAT! CROW: Ow! Hey, watch it... PEARL: Well you think YOU got problem? Me and dumb and dumber here are stuck in traffic! MIKE: Traffic? You're in outer space! There's an infinite amount of room for everybody out there! PEARL: You'd like to THINK that, wouldn't you? Well, nonetheless, we're stuck... BOBO: There was a horrible accident in the Delta Quadrant... Looks like we may be here a while! PEARL: I *knew* we should have gone through Beta Quadrant... but NOOOOO! Brain Guy here has to get a cappuccino over at Barnard's Starbucks! BRAIN GUY: Like *I* knew it was two-for-one day! MIKE: Well, gee... Since you're stuck there and all, I guess we won't have to watch a movie, huh? PEARL: Why Mikey, of course you don't. Mommy Forester isn't going to send you a nasty-wasty movie today. I'm going to send you a rancid movie *script* instead! MIKE: Pardon? TOM: Huh? PEARL: Can it, you ignorant dorks! Can't you see I'm trying to take over the universe here? That's right, Nelson! You get to feast your eyes on this script for _Mighty_Morphin_Power_Rangers:_The_Movie_ I found perched majestically atop a pile of mildewed weenies back on the Camping Planet. TOM: Power Rangers! Wow! I mean... Urgh? CROW: What was that, Tom? MIKE: Mrs. F., what are we supposed to do with this script? PEARL: You READ it, you moron! The words'll flash up on the screen... Don't worry, Brain Guy fixed it all up... MIKE: But what about cheesy music? And lousy sound effects? And bad acting, and... MIKE: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! We've got SCRIPT SIGN! <6 5 4... CROW: YOU like POWER RANGERS? TOM: SHUT UP! ...3 2 @> > MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE MIKE: I have just one question: WHY?!?!?! > REVISIONS BY ARNE OLSEN CROW: It's the OTHER Olsen twin! > DIRECTED BY BRYAN SPICER > REVISED DRAFT OCTOBER 31 1994 > > FADE IN: > > BLACK SCREEN CROW: This is the best part of this film, folks- it's all downhill from here... > > Words SCRAWL UP ON SCREEN and we hear a RESOUNDING VOICE. MIKE: "It is a dark time for the Rebellion..." > > VOICE TOM: Magic Voice? MAGIC VOICE: Yes? TOM: Never mind. > In a time of great strife, CROW: The Great Strife, the Civil Strife... TOM: Civil War, Civil War. > a > legendary interdimensional being > known as Zordon, came to the city > of Angel Grove to establish a > vanguard in the never ending > struggle against evil. MIKE: And he choose Angel Grove because...? > with the > aid of his trusted assistant, > Alpha 5, ALL: NOOOOO!!! > the noble master sought > out six extraordinary teenagers CROW: Unfortunately, he couldn't find them, so he picked the six losers you'll see in this film. > and gave them the power to > transform into an unstoppable > fighting force. In time of great > need, the young heroes MIKE: ..whimper and bawl and cry for their mommies. > could now > call upon colossal assault > vehicles known as "Zords". while > the identity of the six remained > a guarded secret, their > courageous exploits soon became > the stuff of Legend, MIKE: With Tom Cruise, Tim Curry, and Mia Sara TOM: Mia Sara... Rrrrrorrrwwwll! > earning them > the title... The Mighty Morphin > Power Rangers. > > We hear PUMPING ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC as the POWER RANGER'S > LOGO BURST'S ONTO THE SCREEN. ALL: AH! > Now the > logo EXPLODES, Tom: This week, on _McGyver_...! > revealing > > > 1 CROW: ...Singular sensation... > EXT. PROP PLANE / FLYING - DAY 1 > > A prop plane whisking across the deep blue sky. MIKE: It's a Coleman Francis film! ALL: NO!!! > > ROCKY CROW: Again? TOM: DON'T start that, Crow! > YeeeoowwWWWWW!!! MIKE: I hate removing band-aids! > > > 2 INT. PROP PLANE / FLYING - DAY 2 MIKE: Ummm... Weren't we just here? TOM: No, see, before it was an exterior shot; now we're in an interior shot... MIKE: Ahhh... > > The six Power Rangers, MIKE: Power Ranger Roll Call, sound off now! > TOMMY, KIMBERLY, MIKE: Annette! > BILLY, CROW: Bobby! > AISHA, ADAM, and ROCKY TOM: Cubby! > sport sleek sky diving suits, parachute > packs and helmets. Tommy is strapped into a high-tech > airboard. MIKE: He's strapped _into_ it? > > ROCKY > We're OUTTA here!! TOM: We wish. > > KIMBERLY > Easy, Rock. CROW: Gee and I thought she liked it rough. MIKE: Oh, no... > > TOMMY > Once we hit the target zone we've > got fifteen seconds to make the > drop. TOM: Hostage Negotiations, the Power Rangers way! > > BULK (0 . S .) > Step aside, pinheads. > > BULK and SKULL push their way through the Rangers, decked > in bizarre skydiving regalia, topped off by World War II > leather caps and aviator goggles. > > BULK > The Stealth Eagle is about to > fly. Mike: The Former Temp about to hurl. > > SKULL > Ditto for the Swooping Swallow. > > The Rangers exchange amused looks. Aisha gestures to them TOM: She flipped 'em the bird! MIKE: I wish she would- it might make the show more interesting if those kids weren't so damn nice all the time. > > AISHA > Lead on, flyboys. TOM: CROW: Help me... Help meeeeee... > > Bulk and Skull swagger to the door and open it - the ground > is a dizzying distance below. They swallow hard. CROW: Even _I'm_ not touching that one... > > SKULL > Bulk... where'd the earth go? ALL: To HELL! > > BILLY > Five seconds to the target zone! > > TOMMY > Aisha you' re on ! > > Bulk and Skull step aside, Aisha LAUNCHES herself. CROW: I said "lunch", not "launch"! > > The others follow through the opening with flair. > > ROCKY > Stylin! > > ADAM > On your tail! TOM: Yeah, I always thought there was something "funny" about Adam... > > BILLY > All systems MIKE: "All systems" what? > > Tommy and Kimberly share an infectious glance, Kimberly > a hand, TOM: Thing? > indicating Tommy should go first. MIKE: Age before beauty TOM: Actually, in real life, she's older than he is... CROW: And what Power Ranger Web Site did you get THAT information off of? TOM: Well, actually, they have one with- hey! CROW and MIKE: Hehehe... > > TOMMY > Surf's up! > > He's gone. CROW: Thank God! > Kimberly stands backwards in the doorway. MIKE: ...between adolescence and womanhood... > > KIMBERLY > Catch you on the flipside. > > Bulk and Skull watch wide-eyed as she BACK-FLIPS > out of the plane. > > > 3 EXT. SKY TOM: Could ya narrow it down a little? > - DAY 3 TOM: Thanks. > > ROCK AND ROLL fills the track as the Rangers plunge towards > earth, executing a series of MIND-BOGGLING MANEUVERS: SPINS, > FISHTAILS, POWER DIVES, BACK FLIPS, you name it. MIKE: Flailing and screaming as the plummet to their inevitible deaths? > > 4 INT. PROP PLANE - DAY 4 > > Bulk and Skull psyche themselves up. > > BULK > > Be the eagle. Be the eagle. TOM: Do the Dew... Do the Dew... > > SKULL > Be the swallow. Be the > swallow... MIKE: PLEASE don't say "swallow"... > > They take deep breaths then CHARGE THE DOOR. > > BULK AND SKULL > Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! > > Naturally, they get STUCK, wedged shoulder to shoulder. MIKE: Oh, they're goofy! > THE PILOT glances back, CHUCKLES and BANKS THE PLANE. CROW: Dropping people out of planes is FUN! > > > 5 EXT. PROP PLANE - BARREL-ROLLING - DAY 5 > > Bulk and Skull rotate into frame. Now, facing straight down > -- they FALL INTO CAMERA, CLINGING TO EACH OTHER DESPERATELY ALL: Ewwwwww... > > BULK AND SKULL > YEAAAAAAHHHHHH!! TOM: EXTREEEEEEEEEME! CROW: SURGE! MIKE: Please tell me they die. > > 6 EXT. SKY - DAY 6 > > The Rangers pull off more SPECTACULAR MANEUVERS > then swoop TOGETHER, interlocking hands and forming a > PERFECT CIRCLE MIKE: Well, I doubt they could form a _perfect_ circle... > > They look to one another and a moment of pure magic passes > between them. It's not usual the exhilaration of flight > they're sharing, it s the exhilaration of togetherness, of > being part of a team. CROW: That's so BEAUTIFUL! TOM: Yeah... I think I'm gonna hurl... > > TOMMY > Let's BREAK!! MIKE: ....Tommy's legs! TOM: Hey! MIKE: Not, you Servo- you don't even HAVE legs! TOM: Oh, yeah... > > They disperse and yank their rip-cords. CROW: ...They fail to open, the kids plummet to their deaths; end of movie. MIKE: Dare to dream... > The sky BURSTS TO LIFE MIKE: AH! TOM: How exactly does the SKY "burst" to life? > WITH SIX BLOSSOMING PARACHUTES -- white, pink, blue, yellow , > red and black in color. CROW: It's the Mighty Color-Coded Rangers! MIKE: Heheh... > > 7 EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - DAY 7 > > FAMILIES eat hot dogs and cotton candy at a huge fundraiser . CROW: Unfortunately, there was nothing to drink, and the fund raiser flopped... TOM: Sad, really... > A large banner proclaims "SAVE THE OBSERVATORY." MIKE: "...It gives science geeks something to do on Friday night." > We see > diving teams with labeled uniforms -- the BOWLING TEAM, ANGEL > GROVE P.D. and the FIRE DEPARTMENT. There s a large white > "BULLSEYE" spray-painted on the grass. CROW: "Save the Observatory, kill the grass." > The city's > spectacular large skyline rises out of the b.g. MIKE: Oh, God! The Bee Gees! 'BOTS: NO!! > > A SPUNKY MR. KELMAN TOM: "Spunky"? I hate him already. > stands at a podium, speaking into a mic. > > MR. KELMAN > Okay, so the firemen landed four > out of six inside the target -- MIKE: Losers... > > A BOWLER shouts out playfully. > > BOWLER > How `bout a show tune?! ALL: NO!!! > > Mr. Kelman feigns seriousness. > > MR. KELMAN > Somebody wanna keep chose bowlers > in line. TOM: The AGPD pulls out their guns and shoots all the bowlers in the kneecaps. ALL: THANK YOU! > > A hip thirteen year old, FRED KELMAN, MIKE: Oh, THIS is gonna be painful... > yells out as he points > to the sky. CROW: De plane, de plane! > > FRED > Hey dad, get with the program! MIKE: Shut up, ya little smartass! > > MR. KELMAN > Ladies and gentlemen, it's Angel > Grove High CROW: And BOY are they high! MIKE: That would explain a lot about this "Power Rangers" crap, actually... > > ANGEL ON TARGET TOM: Well, what kind of angel would he be if he WASN'T on target? MIKE: _Angel_on_Target_, the new Roma Downey/Chuck Norris show, this fall on CBS! > - AS AISHA touches down flawlessly. TOM: I think I see a pattern forming. MIKE: I wish these kids weren't so damn perfect. > > MR. KELMAN > And that's one! A perfect > landing! > > Aisha clears, then Billy and Adam land toqether. CROW: Oh, bayyyy-be... > > MR. KELMAN > Three for three. Look at `em go! ALL: SHUT UP! > > Billy and Adam clear and now Rocky and Kimberly come in. > > MR. KELMAN > That's five perfect landings! > Now it's all up to Tommy Oliver. TOM: This is TOMMY! We KNOW he'll land perfectly... Mr. Tommy Oliver, Mr. Perfect, King of the World, Leader- MIKE: Bitter much, Tom? TOM: Occasionally... > > Everybody watches with dumbfounded expressions as Tommy SAILS > IN ON HIS AIR BOARD AND SLIDES INTO DEAD CENTER. TOM: Told ya! CROW: Hey, I never doubted you for a minute. > He spreads > his arms wide. MIKE: You know you all love me- admit it. > > TOMMY > Touch down. TOM: Bite me. > > The families CHEER and APPLAUD as they surge forward to > congratulate the Rangers. > > Mr. Kelman and Fred approach Tommy - Fred and Tommy exchange > stylish hand slaps. MIKE: I think I'm gonna be ill... > > FRED > Looking good up there. CROW: Isn't Fred a bit young for Tommy? > > TOMMY > Thanks, man. TOM: I have an idea; let's count the number of time Tommy says "man" in the script... CROW: No, I've got a BETTER idea- let's NOT and say we did! TOM: Spoilsport. > > MR. KELMAN > Congratulations - the > Observatory's got a new lease on > life. TOM: Oh, good... Billy won't have to worry about trying to have a social life just yet. > > FRED > Awesome! Ryan's Comet is passing > over in two days! CROW: Warning! Warning! Foreshadowing! Foreshadowing! > > The other Rangers approach. > > AISHA > Who's up for lunch? > > ROCKY > You read my mind. MIKE: That would take all of two seconds. > > KIMBERLY > Last one to Ernies buys. > > ADAM > Let's roll! MIKE: Let me guess- they're not just gonna walk or drive there- they're gonna do something oh-so-hip and modern... > > > 8 EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - DAY 8 > > We hear a VOCIFEROUS SISSING SOUND, TOM: The hell? CROW: Did Lewis Carroll write this? but we can't see where > it's coming from. - Suddenly the six Rangers come SCREAMING > AROUND A CORNER ON STATE-OF-THE-ART ROLLERBLADES. MIKE: I knew it! > These kids > are FLYING!! CROW: Didn't they already do that? > > We hear FULL-THROTTLED MUSIC as the kids WEAVE, DUCK and > SWERVE like blading virtuosos. Tommy LEAPS in the air, does a > 180 and SKATES BACKWARD. MIKE. ...slams into a trees and knocks himself unconscious! CROW: Oooohh... He's gonna feel THAT in the morning. > > > THE HIGH BRANCHES.past a large tree as Bulk and Skull DROP > INTO FRAME > > SKULL > Stealth Eagle, huh? The Lame > Duck is more like it! TOM: Look who's talking! At least Bulk has a brain! MIKE: Yeah... The dumber one is called "Skull"... Isn't it ironic? TOM: Don't you think, kids? > > 9 EXT. CITY STREET - DAY 9 > > The Rangers GLIDE around another corner -- there's buildings > on one side of them and a construction site on the other. CROW: And straight ahead- a cliff! MIKE: Woo-hoo! > > TOMMY > Let's take the shortcut! > > Tommy leads them up a plywood ramp -- they LAUNCH TEN FEET > THROUGH THE AIR, PULLING OFF HAIR-RAISING FREE STYLE > MOVES THEN MAKE SPECTACULAR LANDINGS on the construction > site parking structure. > > As they shoot across the concrete, the CAMERA PUSHES IN on: > > 10 EXT. INNER CITY CONSTtZUCTION SITE - DAY 10 TOM: Well, SOMEONE needs a spell checker. > > ... WORKERS operating heavy machinery -- cranes, bulldozer , > etc., Construction Worker jackhammers solid rock. Drill > makes a CLANGING SOUND as it HITS METAL! MIKE: Damn Ark of the Covenant... TOM: Actually, I think that was made of- MIKE: Shut up. > A baffled look comes > over him as he stops the jackhammer, brushes away debris.. > uncovering an ANCIENT IRON PLATE. He gapes at it, too stunned > to speak. > > 11 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - SHORT TIME LATER 11 > > A large hook has been fastened to the iron plate -- a crane > ENGINE ROARS as it HOISTS THE PLATE UP, revealing a CAVERNOUS > OPENING. > > TWO MORE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS have joined the first, all of > them look on in amazement. > > CONSTRUCTION WORKER #2 > Whadda you figure it is?! MIKE: A big metal thingie with a picture on it. Duh. > > CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1 > Hey, ya got me. CROW: ...Babe. > > Suddenly a PURPLE STEAM POURS from the opening. And now > something really amazing happens. .. MIKE: The movie gets good? CROW: 'Fraid not. MIKE: Damn. > > A menacing STONE CLAW RISES UP, CRADLING A HUGE STONE > > CONSTRUCTION WORKER # 1 > ... I'll be damned. TOM: Oh! The same thing he said about his career when he took this part. > > As though drawn by it's power, he moves to touch it. MIKE: Something tells me that's a bad idea. CROW: NO? Ya think? > > KZAAAAAAP?!! APURPLE BEAM OF LIGHT BLASTS HIM - SENDS > HIM FLYING TEN FEET THROUGH THE AIR! > > CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1 > AHHHHHHHHH! MIKE: The pause that refreshes! > > > 11A EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY 11A > > A T.V. REPORTER is talking into camera. > > REPORTER > We're here at the World Center > Construction Site, where a > mysterious object was just > uncovered in a freak accident TOM: This whole MOVIE is a freak accident. > in > which one workman suffered minor > injuries... > > 12 > 12 > thru OMITTED > 13 13 MIKE: That's frightening- there was something so BAD it didn't make it into THIS movie! CROW: Maybe it was too good? MIKE: Could be... <6 5 4 3 2 @> > 13A INT. ERNIE'S WATERFRONT CAFE - DAY 13A > > CLOSE ON - T.V. SCREEN > > We see the reporter then a few cuts of GEOLOGISTS combing the > site with scanning equipment and COPS MIKE: ...Filmed on location with the men and women of law enforc ement. 'BOTS: Bad boys, bad boys; whatcha gona do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? > sealing off the area > with yellow tape. > > REPORTER > ... Angel Grove Police have > cordoned off the area until it > can be determined whether or not > the unidentified object poses any > threat. The injured workman was > quoted as saying... MIKE: "AHHHHHHHHH!" > > PULL BACK TO REVEAL A CAFE. > > The Rangers are at a table -- Tommy is teaching Fred martial > arts moves. > > TOMMY > It's one smooth move and then > you've gotta explode off the top. CROW: Oh, Tommy... Oh- MIKE: Crow- that'll be enough... At LEAST confine the sexual innuendoes to the older kids, please... CROW: Fine. > > Tommy executes a wicked JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK. Fred is > wowed. He drops into position. CROW: Oh, PLEASE let me do one more, MIKE! MIKE: No. > > TOMMY > Nice and easy. CROW: AAAAAAHHH!!! MIKE: NO! > > The jovial proprietor, ERNIE, approaches the Rangers' table > with a loaded tray. MIKE: All right- I've got a loaded tray, and I know how to use it! > Fred pulls off a dazzling > JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK and almost knocks Ernie's tray over. TOM: The "jovial" Ernie proceeds to beat the crap out of Fred. The Rangers look on and applaud, as does the audience. MIKE: Kinda dark there, Tom. TOM: Thanks. > > ERNIE > Hey, no Karate on the patio! CROW: No Karate, not allowed! > > FRED > Actually, Ernie, it's Tae-Kwan > Doe. MIKE: ..a deer, a female deer... > > ERNIE > Well Tae-Kwan-Do-it some place > else. All: BAHAHAHA! TOM: Oh, this movie KILLS me! CROW: I wish it WOULD kill me; then I wouldn't have to suffer through it! > > Fred moves off as Ernie serves the desserts. > > ERNIE > So, what're the plans for the > weekend? > > KIMBERLY > Aisha and.I are checking out a > new dance spot. > > AISHA > I heard that! MIKE: Of course you did- she's right there, for crying out loud! > > BILLY > I'll be at the Observatory > Sunday. TOM: THERE'S a big shock! > > ERNIE > That's right - Ryan's Comet. > > ROCKY > We should throw a little comet > shindig. > > ADAM > Any excuse for a party. MIKE: You know it, buddy! ALL: PARTY!! PARTY!! > > Aisha reacts to something off screen. CROW: Damn! Could someone move the TelePrompter(tm)? > > AISHA > The Eagle has landed. > > Bulk and Skull swagger past followed by a GROUP OF KIDS. MIKE: Paul, Jason, can we have your autograph!? CROW: Do you really know Jason David Frank!? TOM: Can you get me nude pictures of Amy Jo Johnson!? > > BULK > The earth was hurtling toward us > at seven hundred miles per hour, > and we knew at that moment that > we were facing death straight in > the eye. TOM: And that's when we wet 'em > > SKULL > We could smell it's breath. MIKE: Sounds like Death needs a Certs! > > Ernie moves off after Bulk and Skull. Tommy's wrist > communicator BEEPS. MIKE: Oh, that'll be my dealer.. Be right back, guys... > The kids exchange glances > than look for a private area. CROW: > > ROCKY > There's a spot over there. > > They move out of everybody's sight. MIKE: And "everybody" is extremely grateful. > > TOMMY (into communicator) > What's up, Alpha? TOM: The sky, the stock market, inflation... MIKE: The "what's up" gag, folks- an oldie but a goodie! > > ALPHA 5 (V.O.) > Rangers, we need you at the > Command Center, L.R.N. ! MIKE: "Lame Ranger Ninnies"? CROW: "Lascivious, Randy Nudists"? TOM: "Little Runny Nodules"? MIKE & CROW: Ewwwww... > > Aisha gives Kimberly a puzzled look. > > KIMBERLY > 'Like Right Now.' ALL: Oh. > > TOMMY > We're on our way. > > They hit their wrist-communicators and instantly TRANSFORM > INTO SIX IRIDESCENT COLUMNS OF COLOR. The columns SHOOT UP > THROUGH a giant oak tree, KNOCKING LEAVES LOOSE. MIKE: And, of course, no one NOTICES this. CROW: Or the fact that the kids didn't pay their tab. > > 14 EXT. COMMAND CENTER - SUNSET 14 > > Zordon's remote headquarters protrudes from a craggy > mountain top -- silhouetted by a glorious sunset. The SIX > STREAK OF COLOR slice downward into the roof. TOM: WHAM! CROW & MIKE: OWWW! > > 15 INT. CONIMAND CENTER - NIGHT 15 MIKE: Wait- so that happened between sunset and night? TOM: It got darker? MIKE: Well, yeah, I KNOW that, but... > > Everything's gone haywire buttons BLINK, emergency > lights FLASH, there's a CACOPHONY OF ELECTRONIC SOUNDS. MIKE: The lights! They're blinking and flashing, and they're flashing and... > > ALPHA 5 works frantically amidst the array of computer > banks while ZORDON looks on from his COLUMN OF LIGHT. CROW: There's a Dave Barry joke in here, I just know it... > > The six Rangers MATERIALIZE, Tommy turns to Zordon. MIKE: And boy, is Kim pissed! > > TOMMY > What's happening? > > ALPHA 5 > Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi ! ALL: SHUT UP! > Our > thermionic-sensors have been hit > by a CATACLYSMIC surge of evil! CROW: Dr. Forrester must be in the area. MIKE: Yep, that would do it. > > ZORDON > Rangers, you must act swiftly. > The planet is in GRAVE danger! MIKE: Oh, so what ELSE is new? > > KIMBERLY > Danger from what? > > ZORDON > Six thousand years ago MIKE: Oh, God, THIS is gonna take awhile... > a > morphological being known as Ivan > Ooze, ruled the world with a > reign of unparalleled terror. CROW: He called it the Republican Revolution. > Finally, a rebel factor known as > the "Order of the Meledon" lured > him into a hyperlock chamber and > buried him deep underground. MIKE: Why didn't they just kill him? TOM: Cuz then he couldn't get free, and we wouldn't have this movie. MIKE: As I said... > > ALPHA 5 > In a place that came to be known > as Angel Grove. ALL: NO!?!? > > ZORDON > The chamber has been accidently > UNCOVERED! You must return it to > the depths. or anyone should > open it and Ivan is released! TOM: The hell? MIKE: Could you speak in complete sentences, please, Zordon? > > ALPHA 5 > To assist you I have retro-fitted > your helmets with new Opti-Scan > devices. > > ZORDON > Use extreme caution, Rangers. > You are dealing with an evil here > that is beyond ALL comprehension. MIKE: OJ Simpson? TOM: Andrew Cunanon? CROW: Barney? > > > 16 EXT. INNER CITY CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT 16 > > Barricades and police tape surround the egg. A SECURITY > GUARD passes his sleeping CO-WORKER, drops into a chair, sips > his coffee. TOM: Must be union. > > BZZWAPP -- ZEDD, RITA, GOLDAR and a short, fat, furry creature > named MORDANT appear. > > RITA > Another Saturday night TOM ...and I ain't got nobody... > and I'm > traipsing around the galaxy with > the THREE LITTLE PIGS! MIKE: Well, you're no prize yourself, Goldilocks! TOM: No, that was the three bears... MIKE: Oh, yeah. > My mother > warned me this would happen! > Rita, she said, after 89 > marriages you might wanna think > about throwing in the towel. Why > didn't I listen to her?! MIKE: Cuz you're an idiot? > > Zedd grumbles to himself. > > ZEDD > That's a good question. TOM: I've heard of wives being a "ball and chain"- but, literally?? > > The stunned guard stirs his sleeping buddy. MIKE: Put your shoes on, honey; we're at gramma's... > > FIRST SECURITY GUARD > Uh... Kurt... you might wanna > take a look at this. CROW: Or not... Whatever. > > Kurt looks up groggily. > > ZEDD > No need to wake him. In fact, > why don't you take a little nap > yourself. > > Zedd ZAPS THE GUYS with a bolt from his staff - MIKE: Office Temps of Death! > they are > knocked out. > > Goldar steps back from the blast and accidentally steps or > Mordant's foot. Mordant KNOCKS on Goldar's metallic leg. > > MORDANT > Hey bonehead, get off my hoof! > > Goldar is oblivious. TOM: What else is new? > Zedd, stands reverently before > the glowing egg shape. MIKE: All bow to the God, Fabrege! > > ZEDD > After two thousand years of > searching... I have finally > found you. CROW: The man of my dreams! > > Mordant BANGS on Goldar's leg again. > > MORDANT > Yo, earth to Bigfoot! > > Goldar SWATS Mordant. > > GOLDAR > Watch your mouth, fuzz-ball! > > ZEDD > SILENCE! ALL: THANK YOU! > > RITA (to Goldar) > Where did you FIND this rabid > little rodent, anyway?! > > GOLDAR > Mordant's my second cousin three > times removed on my mother's > side. He`s just visiting for the > summer. TOM: Do they have summer on the moon? > > RITA > Well put a muzzle on him! MIKE: Whoah! CROW: Gee, I didn't realize Rita was into that sort of thing! MIKE: Well, she does wear "Madonna cones". CROW: Good point. > > Mordant GRUMBLES under his breath. Meanwhile, Zedd aims is > staff at the chamber and BURSTS a blast of energy. The egg > opens up with a wHOOSH of decompressing air. webs of > ELECTRICITY BRANCH OUT, followed by a SWIRL OF BLACK SMOKE. > > When the smoke clears we see a BUBBLING, PURPLE, PHOSPHOSCENT > OOZE. The group gathers around -- Rita sticks a finger in o > the sticky substance. > > RITA > What... you spent two thousand > years looking for this tub of > SNOT! ALL: Ewwww... > > As if in response, the ooze BOILS AND FROTHS. Zedd and Rita > are too busy arguing to notice this. > > ZEDD > Don't you ever have anything nice > to say?! MIKE: No. > > RITA > Well, if I did I certainly > wouldn't say it to you! CROW: And these two are... married? TOM; Are you kidding? From all the other guy told us, they sound _exactly_ like a real married couple! > > We hear a SLITHERING SLURPING SOUND as the substance RISES UP > AND TAKES ON THE GHASTLY SHAPE OF IVAN OOZE. Mordant tugs > at Zedd. > > MORDANT > Boss. > > ZEDD > For your information this is not > just your average, run-of-the- > mill tub of snot ! > > RITA > You're trying to tell me there`re > different levels of snot?! > > MORDANT > Boss. > > ZEDD > WHAT! > > Zedd and Rita finally notice Ivan, standing with his lips > apart, revealing jagged teeth, one of which is made of > GLISTENING SILVER. > > He stretches his sinewy arms, releases an enormous YAWN, puts > his hands on his head, CRACKS it. ALL: Ewww! MIKE: The snot was bad enough; but this is TOO much!! > > IVAN > Ahhhhhhhh. > > Now he SMACKS his lips together, opens his arms theatrically > and gives his trademark stance. CROW: And that is...? > > IVAN > Ladies and Gentlemen... the OOZE > is back!! > > Rita blushes. > > RITA > He's so cute. > > Zedd flashes her an angry look, turns back to Ivan. > > ZEDD > I am Lord Zedd, sworn enemy of > all that is good and decent. It > is a supreme honor to finally > meet you. > > Ivan gives a slight bow. MIKE: ..and a rather unimpressive arrow. > > IVAN > How can I ever repay you? > > ZEDD > Do you recall the name... Zordon > of Eltare? > > Ivan's face goes dark, THUNDER RUMBLES and the site LIGHTS UP > WITH A FLASH OF LIGHTNING. Mordant turns to Goldar. > > MORDANT > Seems to ring a bell. > > ZEDD > I want you to destroy Zordon, so > that my evil may once again reign > SUPREME. > > IVAN (hissing) > I will not only destroy him, I > will OBLITERATE his entire being. CROW: Isn't that pretty much the same thing? > It will be like Zordon > of Eltare never EXISTED! > > RITA > Finally, a real man. > > Goldar hands Ivan a scrap of paper. > > GOLDAR > Here's his address. > > IVAN (reading) > "... left off Interstate 12?!" > > (puzzled) > What's an "interstate"? > > MORDANT > It's like a freeway. How long > have you been locked up? ! MIKE: When was the last time YOU took a bath? > > ZEDD > We shall leave you to weave your > wicked ways. > > RITA > Now we go out on the town. First > dinner, then dancing, then -- > > BZZWAPP!! The foursome DE-MATERIALIZE. > > IVAN > What is that odious stench? MIKE: Probably you. TOM: After 6000 years, you're bound to have an odor of SOME sort... > > His eyes come alive. ALL: AAAAAAH!! > > IVAN > Smell's like... TEENAGERS! MIKE: Gym clothes and cheap cologne? > > 17 OMITTED 17 TOM: Hmmmm... > > 18 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT 18 > > On cue, the Power Rangers TELEPORT into the construction site. > > They're surrounded by rock piles, pools of water and a > plethora of building supplies. Billy looks down at the mud > puddle he's standing in. MIKE: You'd think at his age he'd be over that problem... > > BILLY > Remind me to have a word with > Alpha about his teleporting > calculations. MIKE: Right after I disconnect the speech circuit that makes him say "Ay-yi-yi-yi" all the flippin' time... > > They survey the construction site for a moment. > > AISHA > Anybody see anything? CROW: Well, I see rock piles, pools of water and a plethora of building supplies. > > TOMMY > ... Let's take a look over there. > > They advance up a slope -- the egg comes into view. MIKE: Ah! "Aliens"! CROW: Good; maybe a few of these kids'll have a date with a facehugger... > > ROCKY (alarmed) > It looks like it's been opened! MIKE: Rocky is as alert as ever, I see. > > The kids get close to the egg, looking it over with > fascination. Suddenly a hand falls on Aisha. TOM: ...crushing her. MIKE: That was one BIG hand! > > SECURITY GUARD (O.S.} > Hey! TOM: ...Arnold! > > They all whirl around and see the first Security Guard. He > half smiles, shaking his head. > > SECURITY GUARD > You had me scared there. > > AISHA > Makes two of us. > > KIMBERLY > You haven't by any chance seen > a ... morphological being lurking > around? MIKE: Oh, like he's supposed to know what the hell that means! > > SECURITY GUARD > The only thing I've seen is you > teenagers. CROW: Poor guy. > (beat) > And you know... if there's one > thing in the world I reeeeally > hate.... MIKE: Popcorn kernels getting stuck in your teeth? CROW: Tax audits? TOM: When someone tapes over _The_X-Files_? > > CLOSE ON HIS FACE as it SHAPE-SHIFTS INTO THE+ HIDEOUS > VISAGE OF IVAN OOZE. MIKE: OK, who was surprised by this? TOM: Not me. CROW: I saw it comin' a mile away. > > IVAN > It's TEENAGERS > > KIMBERLY > GroSS! MIKE: Bad guys are so icky. > > IVAN > You're too kind. Allow me to > introduce myself. I am the > infamous, world-reviled, > universally despised, IVAN OOZE! > > ROCKY > Well, pack your bags cause we're > sending you back where you came > from! > > IVAN > Gee, a teenager with a big mouth. > Not much has changed in six > thousand years. ALL: > > KIMBERLY > we're not just teenagers, raisin- > head. MIKE: Hmmm; I wonder if he used to be "grape head"? > > TOMMY > We're the Mighty Morphin Power > Rangers! MIKE: And...? > > Ivan puts his hands to his face in mock fear. > > IVAN > Ooooh, where's my autoqraph > book?. TOM: Probably back in your egg. CROW Oh! I call no _Mork_&_Mindy_ jokes! > > He looks them over reproachfully. > > IVAN > Power Rangers, huh? So Zordon is > still using a bunch of rug-rats > to do his dirty work. TOM: Well, it's not like HE can do it- he's a head in a bong, for cryin' out loud! > And > speaking of rats... MIKE: Newt Gingrich, everybody! 'BOTS: > > Ivan raises both hands -- ELECTRICITY SHOOTS OUT HIS FINGERS > and the kids DIVE CLEAR as the bolt ZAPS A THRONG OF RATS. MIKE: Rats!? The stage directions didn't say anything about rats! > > Now, incredibly, the RATS GROWN INTO GRUNTING, SNARLING MAN > SIZED RAT-BEASTS. TOM: Wait- these guys have gone up against turtles with traffic lights stuck to them and fight in giant vehicles that look like animals, and this is "incredible"? > > IVAN > From this moment forth, the world > as you know it SHALL CEASE TO > EXIST! MIKE: Oh, good; I was getting tired of this world, anyway. > > Ivan raises his arms -- thunder CRACKLES and LIGHTNING RIPS > ACROSS THE SKY. > > IVAN > WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE! MIKE I think you're gonna like it... > > An EXPLOSION OF PURPLE SMOKE CONSUMES IVAN. CROW: Gee, already!? I guess the movie's over! MIKE: 'Fraid not, Crow... We haven't even gotten to the first fight scene... > > ROCKY > He's gone. TOM: You know, I'm surprised Mensa hasn't given this guy a call. > > The RATS ATTACK! TOM: Oh, that's that new band I heard last week! > > ADAM > Let's take these beasts!! > > Tommy gets off a stellar CROSS-HOCK TAKEDOWN, Kimberly > delivers a world class HEEL STOMP, Billy executes a lethal > REVERSE HANDSWORD. Despite their valiant efforts, the Rangers > ar being overwhelmed by the fierce combatants. MIKE: Woo-hoo! CROW: Go, rats! <6 5 4 3 2 @> > 19 INT. COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT 19 > > SMOKE POURS from various circuit boards, numerous control > panels VIBRATE. > > ZORDON > Alpha, my sensors tell me the > Rangers were too late! Ivan is > on his way here! CROW: And I don't have a THING to wear! > > ALPHA 5 > Hey, NOBODY enters the Command > Center without a power coin! MIKE: Yeah... Sure... > > There's a BLEET, BLEET -- emergency lights start FLASHING near > the entrance. Alpha watches, forlorn, as OOZE SEEPS through > the hairline cracks in the door. > > ALPHA 5 > Well... ALMOST nobody. ALL: Wah-wah-wah... > > The ooze SLITHERS AND GURGLES ACROSS THE FLOOR, once again > IVAN RISES UP. He takes in the state-of-the-art surroundings. MIKE: COOL! Where's your stereo? > > IVAN > Gee... pretty fancy-shmancy. I > guess if you invest your money > well over SIXTY centuries you can > buy something pretty nice. TOM: Yeah, but I'm mortgaged up to my eyeballs! > > Alpha drops into a Karate stance, makes some BRUCE LEE NOISES > then LUNGES. > > ALPHA 5 > HI , YAH ! MIKE: Hi ya! > > Ivan holds his arm out, ZAPS Alpha with an electrical charge > Alpha starts spinning. > > ALPHA 5 > Welcome to Wiener World. May I > take your order, please? MIKE: Would you like fries with that? > > ZORDON > You haven't changed, Ooze. > You're still picking on creatures > smaller than yourself. > > Ivan slowly circles Zordan's column of light, Zordon turns > with him. ALL: To everything turn, turn, turn... > > IVAN > Put a cork in it "Z" . Ten > minutes out of the egg and I'm > already listening to one of your > lectures. > > (he explodes furiously) MIKE: ...all over the place! CROW: Yuck! > > You robbed me of my PRIME! I was > the Supreme Ruler of the most > foul Empire in the Universe. I > was the King of Calamity. The > Duke of Destruction. The big man > on campus! MIKE: The Big Cheese! The Top Dog! King of the Hill! Top of the Heap! > (beat) TOM: "Beat" who? CROW: Let's start with Haim Saban and work our way down... > And then you came along. You > locked me into your stuffy little > hyperlock-chamber and tossed me > into the depths like yesterdays > TRASH! > > ZORDON > It worked for six thousand years. > > IVAN > Don't remind me! MIKE: I just did! HA! > > IVAN > Do you have any idea what it's > like to be cooped up in a rotten > egg for six thousand years? MIKE: Cramped? CROW: Smelly? > It's > BORING! ALL: Oh. > Not to mention I've had > a Charlie horse since the > Renaissance! But now the tables > are turned. Now... > > IVAN raises his hands - he is holding a flute and he PLAYS A > FEW NOTES TOM: ...And the Green DragonZord emerges from the ocean and beats the living daylights out of this episode's monster. > > IVAN > ... it's time to pay the PIPER! > > He uses the flute like a lightning rod -- A BOLT OF LIGHTNING > BLASTS A PANEL TO SMITHEREENS. > > IVAN > Oh, the things that I have > missed. The BLACK PLAGUE! TOM: Reaganomics! > > He blows up another PANEL. > > IVAN > > The SPANISH INQUISITION! > ALL: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! > (another bolt) > > The 70's! MIKE: Well, he's got a point with that one. CROW: True. > > HE BLOWS UP ANOTHER PANEL. Ivan CASTS ANOTHER LIGHTNING > BOLT, DEMOLISHING AN ENERGY PILLAR. > > IVAN > And now, finally, I have the > strength to DESTROY your pathetic > powers FOREVER!! MIKE: Or at least until about halfway through this movie... > > ZORDON > YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS! > > IVAN > I've got a NEWS flash for you > LIGHT-BRIGHT -- I ALREADY HAVE! ALL: Ha. Ha. Ha. > > Now Ivan begins to THROW LIGHTNING EVERYWHERE, LAYING > THE COMMAND CENTER TO WASTE. > > Ivan laughs in the b.g. as Alpha continues to spin, > moving his arms in and out. > > ALPHA 5 > You put your left probe in, CROW: Oh, Alpha, don't say "probe"... > you > put your left probe out, you put > your left probe in and you shake > it all about. You do the hokey- > pokey and you turn yourself > around... ALL: That's what it's all about- HEY! > > > 20 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT 20 > > Two rats charge Aisha and she LEAPS UPWARD - the pair SMASH > into each other. > > Rocky picks up a two-by-four and starts SPARRING with another > rat. TOM: You dirty rat... > > Billy SHOVES A HUGE WOODEN-SPOOL down a slope and it > ROLLS INTO A COUPLE OF RATS, BOWLING THEM OVER. MIKE: Oh, and Billy picks up the spare! > > One rat CRACKS IT'S TAIL like a whip, KNOCKING Adam to > the ground. > > Another rat gets Kimberly in a bear hug and she makes a > face. > > KIMBERLY > RAT breath!! TOM: This from a girl who kisses TOMMY. CROW: OUCH! > > She grabs a handful of his whiskers. > > KIMBERLY > Somebody needs a shave. > > She YANKS THEM OUT, the rat SQUEALS and releases her. The > fight well, but the rats start to get the upperhand. > > TOMMY > IT'S MORPHIN TIME! MIKE: The kids proceed to shoot up. TOM: No; "morphin", not "morphine"... MIKE: Oh. > > The Rangers click their power coins into their power morphers. MIKE: Then open up their powerbooks, put on their power ties, and schedule power lunches. > > KIMBERLY > PTERODACTYL! > > BILLY > TRICERATOPS! MIKE: Passenger pigeon! > > ROCKY > TYRANNOSAURUS! CROW: Dodo bird! > > ADAM > MASTODON! TOM: Prezwalski's horse! > > AISHA > SABER TOOTH TIGER! > > TOMMY > WHITE TIGER! > > RANGERS > MORPHENOMENAL! > > They JUMP INTO THE AIR and they're ENGULFED IN A DAZZLING > GOLDEN LIGHT as we do a 3D MOVIE VERSION OF THEIR > TRANSFORMATION INTO COSTUME. MIKE: Who's "we"? > > They all LAND and there's a WHIRRING SOUND as all six of the > face pieces POLARIZE so we can see their faces. The rats > immediately scurry off. CROW: I would too if I had to look at those faces! > > TOMMY > Let's teach these vermin a few > manners. TOM: Emily Post, Gold Power Ranger. > > AISHA > Activating Power Beam! CROW: Ooh! Nice "headlights", Aisha! MIKE: Crow! TOM: Oh, let him have his fun. > > A YELLOW BEAM SLICES THROUGH THE DARKNESS. Aisha leads the > group through the site. > > KIMBERLY > Everybody stay alert. TOM: ZZzzz... Huh? > > (CONTINUED) ALL: NOOO!! > - NEXT FILE > PAGES 21 ONWARDS > > 20 CONTINUED: (2) 20 > > They pass a bulldozer, some scaffolding MIKE: ...rock piles, pools of water, and a plethora of building supplies... > > ADAM > Hold it... > > They come to a stop. > > ADAM (pointing) > I heard something over there. > > BILLY > Activating Audio Enhancer! TOM: What? I can't quite hear you?! See, cuz... Aw, forget it. > > AN AUTO-PHONIC RECEIVER POPS OUT of the side of Billy's > helmet. As he turns his head, the receivers ROTATE. MIKE: RADAR! > > SOUND EFFECT: We hear silence and then... a RASPY > BREATHING, followed by a GUTTURAL SNARL. TOM: The audience is getting restless... > > BILLY > They're on the other side of that > wall. > > The Rangers advance along a cement wall, slowly round a > corner. Aisha's light PANS THROUGH THE GLOOM. > > TOMMY > Anybody see them? MIKE: Nope. The audience is gone. > > ROCKY > Activating Power Scope! TOM: Isn't it convenient that they got all this neato equipment just minutes before this fight? > > A SCOPE SNAPS into place over Rocky's left eye. TOM: Oh, no! Rocky's been turned into a Borg! CROW: You say that like it's a _bad_ thing... > > P.O.V. - THROUGH POWER TRACKER > > We see HEAT SENSOR OUTLINES, PULSATING CROW: Oh, yeah.... Baaayyyybee... > WITH COLOR. > COMMAND GRAPHIC: SEARCH MODE. > > Lines VECTOR and SCAN as Rocky searches the area. Eventually > he looks up and the lines LOCK ON TO THE PULSATING FORMS OF > THE RATS. > > ROCKY > THEY'RE ABOVE US!! MIKE: They're everywhere, man! Game over! Game over! > > The creatures LEAP DOWN and we see the Rangers pull off > KICKS, SUCKER PUNCHES, SPINBACK-ROUNDHOUSES, you name it. MIKE: Bitch-slapping! CROW: Kneeing 'em in the groin! > > One of the beasts TACKLES Tommy and the pair go TUMBLING > OWN A TWENTY FOOT ROCK PILE. Aisha picks up a handful of dirt > > AISHA > Hey, handsome! ALL Yes? > > A beast turns -- Aisha FLINGS dirt in his eyes. > > AISHA > My mistake. CROW: No, your mistake was being in this movie! > > She follows through with an OVER SHOULDER THROW -- > the beast CRASHES INTO A JOHNNY-ON-THE-SPOT. MIKE: OW! Hey, watch it! TOM: As long as it wasn't a Johnny-Yong-Bosch-on-the-Spot... He's the only one of these guys who can act! > > Rocky fights another beast and the creature SWINGS > UP THROUGH SCAFFOLDING with phenomenal dexterity. Rocky goes > after him. > > TOMMY > SABA SABER? MIKE: ...sells seashells at the seashore to seasick sailors for seven cents! > > The talking Saber appears in Tommy's hand. > > SABA (yawning) > What a DREAM I was having! CROW: I was naked in the middle of a fight! It was SO embarrassing! > > TOMMY > We've got company. > > Saba sees the rats. > > SABA > Rats! I hate rats! MIKE: Snakes... I hate snakes... > > We hear a PRIMITIVE CRY as a beast SLAMS INTO ADAM, > SENDS HIM CATAPULTING. Adam rises, speaks in a low growl. MIKE: AH! He's turned feral on us! > > ADAM > Bad move, Willard! > > He holds his hand in the air. CROW: And waves 'em like he just don't care. > > ADAM > STEGA-STINGER! MIKE: You are NOT ready! > > The STEGA-STINGER appears in Adam`s hand. He aims > it toward an overhang, FIRES. A thin wire SHOOTS OUT -- the > Stinger at the end PIERCES the overhang. > > ADAM > Coming through! TOM: ...Hot stuff! LOOK out! > > Adam leaps off a platform, SWINGS THROUGH THE AIR like Tarzan, > SLAMS into the rat and sends him CATAPULTING. > > ADAM > Target Neutralized? MIKE: Don't ask us- it's your movie! > > KIMBERLY > Raptor-Ribbon! > > A contraption APPEARS in Kimberly's hand and she throws her > arm out -- a LONG RIBBON SWIRLS out and tangles itself around > the rat. CROW: Gee, who knew being a rhythm gymnast would be a requirement for becoming a Power Ranger!? > > KIMBERLY > Now you see `em. > > She yanks the ribbon pulling the rat into an opening -- he > DISAPPEARS. CROW: Ewww! He disappeared into "an opening"! I don't EVEN wanna think about what THAT could mean. MIKE: Gee, I wasn't thinking _anything_ until you brought it up! > > KIMBERLY > Now you don't. > > Billy takes a hit, ROLLS across the ground. He stops inches > away from a twenty foot drop-off. MIKE: Damn... So close. > > The beast CHARGES HIM, MIKE: Hey! I thought you said this drink was on the house?! > he ducks and the beast GOES FLYING > THROUGH THE AIR AND SPLASHES DOWN IN ONE OF THE MUDDY > POOLS OF WATER. > > BILLY > Not the brightest of beasts. CROW: Takes one to know one. > > Rocky is now up in the scaffolding. He DROPS TEN FEET through > the air, LANDS ON ONE END OF A BOARD. > > There's a beast at the other end and he goes FLIPPING THROUGH > THE AIR. > > Tommy throws Saba Saber and the knife SWOOPS THROUGH THE AIR TOM: I really wish they'd stop SHOUTING... > and zings around the beasts as they try to knock him down. > > SABA > Na na na na na! MIKE: Saba-na-na, na-na-na-na-na/ Get a job... > > The rats chase after Saba as he heads into a water-slicked > area. There's a large power cable running across it. Once > all the rats are in the water, Saba kamikaze dives into the > cable, SLICING IT OPEN WITH AN ERUPTION OF SPARKS. The water > SIZZLES WITH ELECTRICITY and the rats GO UP IN A PUFF OF > SMOKE. > > SABA > Fried mice, anyone? ALL: Oh, oh! > > We see the six original small rats scurry away, SQUEAKING. TOM: Six Rangers, six rats... How... Something. CROW: Yeah... Something... > > Suddenly, there's an EXPLOSION OF ELECTRICAL ACTIVITY and the > Rangers watch, stunned, as their COSTUMES DE-MATERIALIZE MIKE: Ah!! > and > they appear back in civilian clothes. MIKE: Whew! > > KIMBERLY > What's going on?! > > Billy tries his wrist communicator. > > BILLY > Alpha, come in! > > There's no response. TOM: Either they are unwilling to respond, or they are unable to respond. > > TOMMY > We'd better get back. MIKE: To where you once belonged? > > They all hit their communicators and nothing happens. > > AISHA (worried) > Something's wrong! TOM: Boy, she's quick! > > TOMMY > Come on, guys... > > They hurry off. MIKE: Run! There's still a chance to save your careers! CROW: Speaking of running... Let's go. <@ 1 2 3 4 5 6> CROW: Whatcha got there, Servo? TOM: Nothing! Nothing at all! CROW: So you ARE a fanboy! I knew it! Fanboy! Fanboy! TOM: No! I'm not... I'm... WAAAAHHH!!! My life is a sham! MIKE: Hey guys, what's up? TOM: Daddy didn't love me! CROW: Tommy-Boy here is a Power Ranger fan! Isn't that the funniest thing? Fanboy! Fanboy! MIKE: Oh, MAN! That is so pathe- Hey, is that the Pink Ranger? TOM: Maybe.. Why? MIKE: Oh. Uh. No reason. CROW: Fanboy! Fanboy! Fan-- what was that, Mike? MIKE: Nothin'... TOM: Admit it, Mike... Make it easier for both of us. MIKE: No! There's no way I'm going to admit I have a crush on Amy Jo Johnson! TOM & CROW: Fanboy! Fanboy! Fanboy! MIKE: Hey, have you SEEN Amy Jo Johnson in short shorts? TOM: Well, she's no Donna Dixon. CROW: But who is, really? MIKE: Besides... it's not like *I'm* the one playing with the Power Ranger dolls! TOM: It's a medical condition, ok?! CROW: Fanboys! FANBOOOOYS! TOM: Don't you see? My father didn't show me enough attention as a little boy, and now I'm reduced to this! CROW: FAAAAAANNNNBBBOOOOOYYYYSSSS!!! MIKE: You don't even *have* a father! TOM: See what I mean? MIKE: Then what does that have to do with dolls? TOM: They're "ACTION FIGURES"! CROW: Oh, what's the matter, Tom? Do you wanna be alone with your little dollies? TOM: They AREN'T dolls! Mike, make him stop! MIKE: Crow... Stop. CROW: Not until he calls them dollies! TOM: ACTION FIGURES! MIKE: Crow! CROW: Tom! TOM: Miiiiiike! MIKE: Tom, call them dollies, then we can end this madness, ok? TOM: But they're not dollies! CROW: Dollies! Fanboy! MIKE: Tom, please? TOM: Ok, so they're... MIKE: Aaaaaaaaahhh! We got Script Sign! TOM: Whew!