Mystery Science Theater 3000 presents: "Storm from The Pacific" By Varakorn Ungvichian (rover_wow@yahoo.com) Here comes MSTing #3... And it's another "Road Rovers" MSTing. And by the way Road Rovers is (C) 1996 Warner Brothers and MST3K is (C) 1989 Best Brains. Everything else is (C) whoever owns them. (Theme song, door sequence, all that stuff that opens an MST3K ep) Mike: Hello, and welcome to the Satellite of Love. I'm Mike Nelson. Right now, we're discussing an important matter: Why TV Shows Get Low Ratings and Eventually Get Cancelled. Tom: Here's one reason: they suck! (Mike and Crow just stare at him) Crow: 'Twin Peaks' didn't suck... Tom (after a pause): Well it got worse in the 2nd season... Mike: Point taken. We'll be back to discuss this in depth... Tom: Yeah, I'll be ready then... (Bumper, ads, whatever's during the breaks) Mike: So do you have any other reasons for TV shows' cancellations? Tom: OK, they either suck or get worse. Crow: Mmm... besides that. How about shows that are too cookie-cutter? Think 'Wonderland'. That medical drama lasted like 2 eps. Reason, there's already enough medical drama on TV! Who cares if it's better than the rest?! Tom: Well... it was. Who can hate Michael Jai White? Crow: And let's not forget all those New York office sitcoms... Tom: Well, what about lack of promos and stuff? If you don't promote your goddamn show, no one's gonna know 'bout it. How in tarnation do you expect people to tune in? Look at all those shows that suffered from underpromotion, like 'Freaks and Geeks'. Crow: How 'bout not being on mainstream cable? Anyone 'Remember WENN'? Tom: That would be a comedy-drama in a radio station... Crow: Exactly! If it were on, say, HBO, lotsa people would tune in. But this was AMC we're talkin' here! Tom: Well, cable stations actually expect lower ratings... so that's not a valid point, but this is: How about audiences who don't care for quality and stuff? Look at all the quality stuff that've gone to the can! 'Homefront', 'My So Called Life', 'Police Squad', 'Sports Night'... and that's just over the air TV for starters!... Need I say more? Mike and Crow: Good point... (Alarms) Mike: Oh look, Letterman and Schaffer are calling. (presses button) (It's Dr. Forrester and Frank.) Forrester: Hello Nelson. I trust you're enjoying yourselves? Mike: Uh huh... Forrester: Bowed to me lately? (Pulls that lever from the MST3K film that makes everyone suffocate) Mike (suffocating and bowing): UGGGHH... Forrester: (lever up) Good. Now to your experiment. It's another 'dog' from the WB... Crow: Lemme guess... 'Road Rovers'... Forrester: Exactamundo! This turd here's their 2nd outing 'Storm from the Pacific'. (Frank pops up with cool looking gear and riding a skateboard. Cue theme from the 'Rocket Power' Nicktoon here.) Frank: Hello squids! Crow: 'Squid'? What the hell is wrong with him? Forrester: Ahh, he just had an overdose of 'Rocket Power'... Frank: Yeah, boards are totally gnarly... (Tries to do kick flip... no good) Frank: Ow, totally ate it there man... Forrester: Frank, you are NOT Tony Hawk... Aw, jeez, just send them the film.... er, clip. Frank (getting up): You got it, dude... (gets back up on skateboard, skateboards over to button and presses it) Tom: 'Rocket Power'... sounds like a Pokemon spinoff... (Movie sign, traditional panic, door sequence, all enter the theater) (All enter theater) Tom: 'Road Rovers' again, huh? Crow: It can't be worse than the last one... Mike: Well let's get this show on the road... OK? (Tom rimshots) >Act 1 > > The episode begins in the ocean, depicting a ship from the USA. Suddenly a torpedo hits the ship and > an evacuation is ordered. Two guards unlock a door to get some equipment out, Crow (German accent): Git das Enigma! > but they are stopped Tom (Adam Sandler as the Waterboy): Compliments of Captain Insano. > by some man who suddenly appeared. The shadowed man smokes the area leaving the guards > coughing Crow: Whoa, talk about some 2nd hand smoke there! > and him to take whatever was in the locked room. Mike: VCR's, CD's, TV's, DVD's, CPU's... Tom: Does all technobabble HAVE to have abbreviations? > The ship sinks slowly to the bottom of > the ocean. Tom: Ladies and gentlemen, a 'Titanic' ripoff. > And after a small break, we see the White House. The President gets a call from the > Pentagon, most likely talking about the sinking ship from last night. Mike: As well as... Tom: Lewinsky. Mike: Actually, how his daughters got drunk, but OK. > Hunter is in the swimming pool > with his tennis ball in his mouth. Three men are in the pool with him, all dressed in business suits. Crow (as random man): Damn Bubba and his budget cuts... > Suddenly the light shines on Hunter. > Hunter: Hunter, it's time, boy. > > With that, Hunter leaps out of the pool and runs off to a secret underground tunnel Mike: Secret underground tunnels. Yep, all superheroes must have them. > that leads him to > the Road Rover Headquarters. After his ride comes to an end, Hunter leaps out and jumps into the > transdogmafier. > Hunter: Yes! I love that machine! Tom (Hunter): Gets me better net access for my buck... > (enters the room with the rest of the Rovers) > Colleen: (feeding Muzzle) Eat up, Muzzle. Want some more? Tom (Oliver Twist): Please sir, I want some more...! > (Muzzle chomps on spoon) > There's a good boy. (Muzzle bites the spoon off while Colleen reaches for another) Mike: Who does she think she is, Clarice Starling? > Hunter: Hey, Colleen, Muzzle. How's it waggin? > Colleen: I don't know if that's any of your business. > Hunter: (heads to where Blitz and Exile are eating out of bowls on a table in cano-sapien form) > Hey, what 'cha got in the bowl, Exile? > Exile: Shag has done it again. Crow (Austin Powers): YEAH BABY... > Yet another cullinary masterpiece! > Blitz: That dog is a gourmet genius! > Hunter: (goes to Shag who gives him a bowl of his cooking) Shag! Another awesome meal, > pal. What's your secret? > Shag: (says some dog talk) Tom: (Kenny mumbling) > Hunter: Ya don't say. (sits down at table where Exile, Blitz, and Colleen are now eating) > Colleen: So what's his secret? > Hunter: He cooks everything in toilet water. Mike (Hunter): Preferably that of Chanel. > (Exile, Blitz, and Colleen try to cough out their > food) Tom (Colleen): Next time, try Estee Lauder. > Master: Next time let's get take out. Tom (Colleen): Eh, close enough. > Road Rovers, listen while I brief you on a mission at hand. > Last night in the South Pacific, Mike: That Spaight guy was at it again. (Referring to some revolt by a guy named Spaight in Fiji) > the US destroyer was struck by a torpedo and sunk. Thankfully, > there were no casualties. But the navy's top secret decoder that controls an important defense > satellite was stolen, (Once again, all do the Mission Impossible theme) > and an unidentified submarine was spotted leaving the scene. Rovers, you > must track down the thieves. > Blitz: I am ready, Master, to chew on secret stealing buttoxes! Crow (Blitz): ...and maybe kick them some more! > Exile: Don't be a weird boy. > Master: The fate of a free world hangs in the balance. Retrieve that decoder! > Hunter: (salutes to Master, then releases the tennis ball in his mouth) Honored to lead the way, > sir. I'm 50% retriever, you know. Tom (Hunter): Uh huh... 25% Labrador, 25% golden... > Blitz: And 100% mutt. I'm not taking orders from some mixed breed! I should be top dog! I > have super claws, super teeth, what does Hunter have? What are your super powers, huh? > Hunter: Well, lemme see, I'm super playful, super loyal, super trusting (holds up sign that says > "Lawyers are your friends!"), Tom: "If you're not Bill Gates or whoever runs Napster..." > and super super friendly. Can I sniff ya? > Blitz: No! > Hunter: Well, ok, but that's what being super friendly's all about. (gives Blitz his ball) Mike: Is it just me, or are these the dumbest super powers I've ever heard of? > Blitz: Ok, these are the stupidest super powers I have ever heard of. Crow: Suddenly, this turd makes fun of itself... > Now go away! (throws ball > to opposite direction) > Hunter: (quickly retrieves the ball with his super speed) Course, I'm super fast, too. Tom: (Intel Inside music) > Blitz: (slouching) Oh, ya, I forgot. That's better. Sorry. > Hunter: That's ok. I'm also super forgiving. Tom (Hunter): And I'm super religious as well. > (new scene) We're dogs with a mission. Crow (singing): Action, kids in, play po-si-tions, ROCKET POWER! (That's the first line of the Rocket Power theme) > We are- Tom: Total idiots, WHOO! > All RR: Road Rovers! AAARRROOOOOOOOO!!! Mike (Baha Men): Who let the dogs out! Woof woof woof woof... Tom: Eh, close enough. > > Everyone is in the launch area, and Muzzle comes up to Hunter and whispers something into Hunter's > ears. Crow (a la the Godfather): I need a favor... > Hunter turns to the Master. > Hunter: Can Muzzle come along? He hasn't been out of headquarters for a while. > Master: Do you think that's wise? > Blitz: No way! That dog is crazy! A loose cannon! Tom (Master): Good, he can go with Gene Hackman. > A total hot head! (he and Muzzle exchange > growls) > Exile: Don't get him started, Blitz. > Blitz: I'm telling you now, he's unpredictable. He's totally reckless! An uncontrollable force of > nature! Tom (Exile): Well he no Ben Affleck! He no Sandra Bullock either! > > Muzzle foams at the mouth and totally loses it, trying to bite Blitz through his muzzle. Blitz himself > hides behind Exile as Hunter stops his pal. > Hunter: Aw, now you've gone and hurt his feeling. There there, that's ok, Muzzle. Bad > Dobieman say mean wordies, yeah. Take it easy pal. Maybe you can come along next time. > > Muzzle grunts as the Road Rovers leave him be. He then has a brilliant idea to stow away on the Sub > Rover. Crow: 2 ROM chips says he ends up savin' 'em. Tom: You're on! > He secretly hops onto the ship while Hunter tells Shag to go with him and Exile onto the Cloud > Rover. Colleen and Blitz are to take the Sub Rover. > Blitz: We will have enjoyable trip together, right? > Colleen: Right. And your name is... Tom (Eminem): Slim Shady. > > Blitz grunts to Colleen's attitude. The Cloud Rover takes off into the air as the Sub Rover goes > underwater. > Hunter: See ya there, Colleen. > Colleen: Cheerio, Hunter. Crow (Hunter): No thanks, I'd rather have Froot Loops. > > Outside, Hunter and Colleen confirm picking up the leaving submarine's signal. The Sub Rover > "walks" on the ground as Shag and Exile are admiring something in a magazine. > Hunter: What are you guys looking at? > Exile: Forest Illustrated. Giant redwood issue. (with Shag) Ahh. Mike (to Crow): We know, don't have to say it... > Hunter: You two definitely need a hobby. > Blitz: (on Sub Rover) Ok, so when do I get a chance at the controls? > Colleen: Oh, sorry. I didn't see you sitting there. I'm Colleen. Have we met? > Blitz: Of course! You know me! I'm Blitz! > Colleen: Blitz, Blitz, no, no, that's not working for me. I know! I'll give you a brand new name. > something that better suits your winning/witting (?) personality. Yes, from now on let's call you Tom: Lemme guess, Fluffy? > Mr. Fluffypants! Crow: HAH! Tom: Well, wait a sec...! > Blitz: Let's not. > Colleen: Mr. Stuffington Fluffypants, or Fluffy for short. Crow: ... Oh. Tom (Rugrats' Angelica): I'm a psycho! > Blitz: Stop calling me that or I'll bite you! > Colleen: Oh yeah? With who's dentures, Fluffy? Mike: Oh great, now she's degenerating into Angelica... > > Muzzle watches from the back of the ship as Colleen beats the stuffings out of Blitz. He is thrown > onto the communicators of the ship as the ship turns upside-down. > Exile: (from Cloud Rover with communicator) Blitz, come in. Everything okie dokie down > there? > Blitz: Just call me Fluffy... Tom: Or you can call me Al. (There's a song by Paul Simon called "You Can Call Me Al".) > Exile: Don't be weird boy. > > The Sub Rover's scanners detect the bogie sub Crow: As opposed to, say, par sub or eagle sub. > heading into port. The Cloud Rover makes a recon of > the island. > Hunter: Exile? What do you see? > Exile: (using supervision) To our right side is gently smoking volcano. Tom: (cough from smoking) > Tor our left side is > moonlit tropical beach. And to our front side is enemy helichoppers coming straight at us! Crow (advertiser): Helichoppers, the most powerful kitchen power tool around. > Hunter: Ha. I would not have predicted this. > > Shag leaps into Exile's arms as the enemy choppers open fire on the Sky Rover.\ Tom: Suddenly, it's 'In Love and War'... Mike: Don't sweat it, we still got 2/3 of this to go... > > Act 2 > > The Cloud Rover is still in pursuit. Tom: Especially the trivial type... (*geddit, 'Trivial Pursuit'?*) > Exile: Fly faster, Hunter. Fly like a- fly like a- really fast thing that flies- fast! > Hunter: Whoa, Exile. You have a way with words. Tom (Hunter): Help me with this crossword please? > Exile: Thank you. It is gift. > Hunter: (after endless pursuit) Hit 'em with the anti-aircraft lasers! Mike (Hunter): Hit 'em high! Hit 'em low! > Exile: You betchski. (he opens the hatch doors and Shag holds big cannon looking gun) Get > ready. Take aim. > Hunter: (turns around and sees the cannon held backwards) No, Shag. Turn it around! The > other way! Ah! > Exile: Fire! (frontside of the Cloud Rover's window is blown out) > Hunter: See? This is precisely the reason they don't normally give bazookas to dogs. Crow (Hunter): 'Cause the gum gets stuck on the roof of their mouth... > (the > Cloud Rover is inevitably shot down) > Colleen: (from a distance) Oh, brilliant. > > Sub Rover has docked to the side of the island. Colleen and Blitz rush towards the Cloud Rover's > crash site, unknowingly leaving Muzzle behind on the Sub Rover. At the crash site, Exile diligently > tries to fix the Cloud Rover with his super vision. Tom: Hehheh, fixing vehicles with super vision... Sounds like what the X-Men do in their spare time... > Hunter: What's the prognosis, Exile? > Exile: I'll have Cloud Rover fixed in two shakes of a lamb's jiffy! > Hunter: (to Colleen) What's a lamb's jiffy? Mike (Colleen): What Shag puts in our haggis. Tom (Hunter): What's haggis? > Colleen: Don't ask. Tom (Hunter): Alrighty then. > > Hurriedly and worriedly, Shag runs up to Hunter and talks to him in his dog-jibberish. > Colleen: What'd he say? > Hunter: He says he prefers dry dog food over canned. Tom: Unfortunately, Jaimie Kellener preferred 'canned' over 'rerunned' when it came to you guys... > > Shag says some more then leads to another place on the island. We watch the submarine enter a > secret entrance to the volcano. > Hunter: There goes that bogie sub with the stolen decoder. > Colleen: And those choppers are heading into the volcano too. > > The Rovers are hiding in front of the entrance to the volcano which is guarded by two guards. Tom: Top secret installation... Two guards... Whatever happened to laser- guarded passages? > Hunter: Good work, Shag. Now all we have to do is figure a way to get inside. > Blitz: I'll get in! > Exile: Blitz, quit rushing! > Blitz: (charging the entrance with super claws and jaws) Let the biting begin! > > The guards shrug off the oncoming intruder. Mike (random guard): What a wimp... > One of them fires a smoke bomb at Blitz. He takes a > sniff at the smoke. > Blitz: Ooh, that smells springtime fresh. Tom: Suddenly, another drug ref... > > Blitz passes out, collapsing onto the ground. The guards calmly drag Blitz into their base. > Exile: Well, he got in all right. > Hunter: Yup. He's a dog of his word. > Colleen: And our job here is done. (stands up to leave) > Hunter: (pushes Colleen back down) No, stay, Colleen. Stay. (Tom rimshots) > (faces the other Rovers) K, here's > the plan. I'll keep the guards busy. you three sneak in. > Colleen: Ooh, tricky. Tom (singing): She is tricky tricky! But she is pretty pretty! > > Hunter quickly runs in front of the guards, howls, then runs off to a different direction. The guards > quickly follow in pursuit. > Exile: How does Hunter do that fire thing? > Colleen: I dunno. I just hope it has nothing to do with his digestive tract. Mike (Colleen): Or all that Chanel in his system... > > The Road Rovers run into the volcano as Hunter runs past the Sub Rover. The guards who are in > pursuit decide to check out the ship instead of following Hunter, who has joined his comrades in the > volcano. One of the guards opens the hatch on the top, and out comes hopping Muzzle, knocking the > other two guards off the ship. (All laugh a la sitcom laughtrack) > Guard: What was that? Tom: A lame opportunity for a laugh, I suppose? > > Muzzle hops towards the volcano as well, leaving the guards in the water. Inside the structure, the > Rovers are quietly trying to locate Blitz. > Hunter: I hope we can find Blitz. > Colleen: Who? > Hunter: The doberman? > Colleen: Oh, him, right. Tom: Is it just me... or is this little identity crisis gonna be a recurring theme? Mike: It ain't you... > Hunter: Hey, he may be pushy, but he seems brave. > Blitz: (from behind doors) (crying) Please let me go! > Colleen: You were saying? > Voice: (interrogating Blitz) So they sent in a dog to do a man's job. Or rather they sent in a > Road Rover. Tom: Waaaait, this is just their second outing and the RR are already pretty well known? Mike: I'll let this one pass... > Blitz: Actually, I'm not a Road Rover, I borrowed this suit for a costume party. Really, I don't > even like dogs, they're too drooly! Honest! Mike: Great, now he's someone who's listened to too much Baha Men... > (cries some more) Please let me go! I'll do anything! Tom (Meatloaf): ...for love, but I won't do that! > Hunter: We'd better go and get him before he sells out his mother. > Colleen: Oh, I'd love to, Hunter, really, but we've run into a bit of a sticky wicket-wat. (referring > to guards who have the Rovers at gunpoint surrounding them) > Hunter: Oh, hi. You must be Sticky. Crow (Hunter): Come and take a bath with me! Mike: Crow! > Or are you Wicket? I always get you two confused. > > All of the Road Rovers are placed in a single cell. Shag tries to pull the bars out with no luck. Colleen > attempts to kick the bars out but hurts herself instead. Exile's super eye beams don't penetrace the > metal either. > Exile: Bulshoi. Tom (Histeria World's Oldest Woman): Watch your language! > This steel is harder than KGB's heart! Mike (Exile): Heck, harder than Superman's chest even! > Blitz: (cries) I want to go now. > Hunter: Look on the bright side, guys. The Road Rovers are back together again! All (singing): Everywhere I go, every smile I see, I know you are there, smiling back at me. ("Together Again" lyric) > > The cage suddenly moves and turns around to face a new room, apparently the control room to the > operations. In the middle of the room is a man who stands and talks to the Rovers. > Storm: Welcome. I am Captain Zachary Storm. And you, the Road Rovers, are about to witness > the total destruction of the United States. Let the fun begin. Mike: Yeah, bring it on, we only got 1/3 of this turd to go! Tom (South Park's Stan Marsh): This is getting frigged up here... > > Act 3 > > Still stuck on the island. Mike: Great, the final 1/3's 'Gilligan's Island'... > Storm: I know what you're thinking, Rovers. Yet another meglomaniac on a volcanic island > planning global conquest. > Hunter: Yeah, exactly. It's already been done. > Colleen: Boring! Tom: Yeah, just another Pinky wannabe! > Storm: The difference is, dogs, I have the fire power to do it. Crow (Storm): Just like that dude Dr. Evil... Mike: Crow, enough already! > You see, I hold here the only > decoder that controls the navy's top secret satellite of mass destruction. Mike: Hey look, it's Joel! Hi Joel! > And you're just in time > to see it in action. > > From the viewing screen in the control room, the satellite moves into place and begins firing, > destroying everything in its path. Tom: Wow, they're giving us ID4! > Storm: In a short while, when the satellite is in the proper alignment, I'll fire the lasers > obliterating ten key US cities Mike (Storm): Yup, Key West, Key Largo, Key Biscayne and 7 other lesser key cities... > and do you know why? > Hunter: Yeah, cuz you're mad at the NFL for letting the Cleveland Browns move to Baltimore! Tom (Storm): Well, they DID win a Super Bowl in Baltimore, so it's not that. > Storm: Mmm... besides that. > Colleen: Because you're a member of the mad of the month club? Mike: Y'know, I think Dr. F and Frank should join that club... Tom: God forbid, they're probably the club board... > Storm: No! Don't you treat me like the others did back in the gulf. Crow (Storm): They took my share of the off-shore drilling market... Damn that JR Ewing! > Just because I opened fire > without a direct order, I- was- court martialed! Mike: Oh great, suddenly, it's 'Rules of Engagement'... > (in the background Muzzle is hopping along) > They gave me a dishonorable discharge! Big mistake! Tom: Kicking your can all over the place! Mike: Singing we will, we will rock you! > Now, I'll discharge them! (Crow makes noseblowing sound) > (satellite > destroys some huts) But first, let me give my canine friends a fine farewell. Buh-bye. > > Storm pushes a button that makes the cage turn back around to the original cell holding room. The > end of the hall opens, letting hot lava fill the room fast. Meanwhile Muzzle continues to hop around > the control room while Storm's henchmen make the final adjustments for the promised total > distruction. Muzzle accidentily knocks something over that puts Storm on edge. Mike (Storm): Alright! Who broke my Browns mug!? > At the same time > Exile is holding the back the lava with his icey eyes. > Hunter: Hang in there, Exile. > Exile: I am trying, but I am in bigtime need of visine! Mike: Well, so are we... Tom: But for different reasons. > > Suddenly Muzzle releases them by pressing the other button, and the Rovers are freed into the > control room and thankful for their rescuer. Tom: Here ya go, 2 ROM chips... > But at the same time Storm and his henchmen go after > the Rovers. The Rovers exit the room and Shag and Exile try to block the doorway. > Exile: We cannot hold them for long, comrades! > Blitz: Let's save our own legs Crow (Blitz): ...and butts... > while we still can! > Hunter: No, we have a mission to complete. We have to stop Storm! > Colleen: But how, Hunter? We have no weapons! Mike (Colleen): We're supposed to fight crime, how are we supposed to do that without weapons? > Hunter: We need something unpredictable, something totally reckless. An uncontrollable force > of nature. Crow (Hunter): How 'bout Sandra Bullock? > Hey! We need Muzzle! (Storm is about to break through the doors, Hunter gets > ready to take off Muzzle's muzzle) Now! > > Exile and Shag let Storm out of the room. > Hunter: Alright, buddy, muzzle 'em! > Muzzle: Rah! (rises to the occasion and attacks Storm and his henchmen in control room) Mike (principal on 'Welcome Freshmen'): 12 of an object is called a dozen. What do you call a dozen dozens? > Colleen: Ew, gross! Mike: Correct, a dozen dozens is called a gross. (There was an ep which had some dialog like that) > Shag: Ah! (covers eyes) > Hunter: Ooh, Muzzle, take it easy! Okay, that's enough for me. > Exile: Me also. It's much worse than Churbulber(??) Tom: Are we trying to grasp 'Chernobyl' here? > Blitz: Go Muzzle, go! Make (pound dust?) Tom: I prefer dollar dust myself... > out of them! (changes expressions) Ah, now that is > sick! > > The bad guys escape and the Road Rovers look inside the now totally wrecked control room. Muzzle > is lying peacefully on top of a computer with a full stomach. > Hunter: To the power of the pack! > All RR: AAARRRROOOOOOOO!!! (Mike and Crow start to do another round of the Baha Men song) Tom: Let's not do that song again... > Exile: (puts muzzle back on) Nice work, comrade. > Colleen: I've got the decoder! So much for Storm's big plan. > Hunter: Hey, where is that crackpot anyway? Crow (Hunter): I'm SO in need for a bong... > > The room begins to collapse as the top half of the volcano comes apart to beome an airborne control > center. Inside is a thrashed crew with Storm in command. > Storm: Fortunately, dogs don't have nine lives. Tom (Storm): It's also fortunate that there's a new Browns team... > They have just one. Which is about to end for > the Road Rovers! All (somewhat sarcastic): Yay... > > Storm fires a laser from his craft that erupts the volcano. Crow: Like THAT makes any sense... > The Rovers desperately run out to avoid the > hot flowing lava. Tom (Exile): Not more lava agaaaaaain...! > Shag an Exile get into the Cloud Rover. Hunter tells Blitz and Colleen to go for the > Ocean Rover (previously stated was the Sub Rover). > Hunter: Wait! Where's Muzzle? (realizes he's still inside the volcano) Oh no. > Blitz: Where are you going? Tom (South Park's Eric Cartman): Screw you guys, I'm goin'... ahh that won't work. > Hunter: Muzzle's my pal, I gotta save him. > Blitz: You'll never make it! > Hunter: Hey, I have no choice. > Blitz: Why? > Hunter: It's one of my powers, I'm super loyal. Tom: What is he all of a sudden, Officer Ripley? > > Hunter dashes off towards the volcano. The Cloud Rover takes off just as the lava was about to hit > them, and after Colleen and Blitz dive into the Sub Rover, Mike: 7. Tom: 6. Crow: 10! > it takes off as well. Exile and Shag try to > find Hunter and Muzzle. They find them rushing away from the oncoming lava. However, Hunter and > Muzzle come to a cliff with no where to run, the lava about to overtake them. > Hunter: Well, Muzzle, I don't know which of my super powers will save us this time. Tom: 2 ROM chips he gets super lucky... Crow: You're on! > > Suddenly Shag appears and lifts Hunter and Muzzle off of the ground while on the Cloud Rover. > Hunter: Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that one. I'm super, super lucky! Tom: Yup... One more Britney Spears ref and I'll scream... (During this, Crow gives Tom back 2 ROM chips) > > The volcano eventually sinks into the water, completely disappearing. > Colleen: Let's take it home, Rovers. > All RR: AARRRRROOOOOOOO!!! Mike (singing alone and less enthusiastic): Who let the dogs out... Tom: I declare a moratorium on this lame song. Please? > > Everyone is safe and sound and back at headquarters. > Hunter: Master, it would have been the end of the road for us if ol' Muzzle here hadn't hopped > to the rescue. > Exile: So next time, Blitz, we don't have argument over whether Muzzle comes or not. > Blitz: Ya, okay, I'm sorry. I made a small mistake about the little Muzzle dog. > Exile: And about Hunter too. > Blitz: Ya, ya, alright. I guess you're not such a stinky litter Mike: Unlike, say, this show... > after all. > Hunter: Hey, that's nice. Thanks. > Colleen: That was eliquitely(?) put. > Blitz: Dankushen (sp?), Tom: Oh great, he's gone Japanese... Mike: And by the way, it's 'Danke Schon'. > pretty lady. > Colleen: You're welcome, Fluffy. > Blitz: I'm thinking of changing my name. > Exile: But I like Fluffy. Crow (Exile): I no like it when Spike or Angelica is around though... > Master: You've done well, Rovers. You're good, good dogs. As for the decoder, we'll need to > return that to the navy. > Hunter: I know, Master, and we will too. Just as soon as Captain Storm is picked up by the > authorities. Mike (singing): I fight authority, and authority always wins... > Exile: Shag, can you keep that bad guy busy till then? > Shag: Ruh-huh! Crow (Austin Powers): YEAH BABY!! Mike: Crow... Crow: Hey, we're almost friggin' over, dammit... > > Shag is at the computer using the decoder to use the satellite's lasers to chase Captain Storm's ship in > the ocean. > Storm: No, stop! I surrender! Really! I- I give up! Just stop chasing me! Please! Stop! > All RR: AAARRRROOOOOOOOOO!!! Tom: I said, don't sing the Baha Men song again. Mike: Never mind, then. > > Alas, Mike (with a British accent): ...Smith, and Jones. (Crow does 'Smith and Jones' theme) (There was an old British comedy show called "Alas, Smith and Jones".) > our second episode ends. Tom: Man, this person has no way with words!... Crow: Yeah, the dude's got no idea how we feel now that it's over! (all leave the theater, reverse door sequence, back to bridge) Mike: Well... what did you think?... Crow: Now THAT was much better than the first time 'round... Tom: It had action, suspense, comedy, danger, ad nauseam... Crow: More like Add Nausea. Tom: Anyways I've done some research... Mike: And that would be...? Tom: Individuals who've done work on 'Road Rovers' and 'Rugrats'. Mike: And why the heck would you do that? Tom: That's none of your business, okay? Anyways, I found a couple. First, there's Charlie's Angels' Bosley aka David Doyle. He did the voice of some canine professor and was also the voice of Tommy's grandpa... Mike: Didn't he kick the bucket a couple years back?... Tom: Well, yeah... Second, there's Tress MacNeille, the voice of Colleen and Angelica's mommy. Crow: Well, she does voices EVERYWHERE, so that's not a surprise... Tom: The voice of that German dude Fluffy... Mike: You mean Blitz... Tom: Right, Blitz. Anyways he's voiced by Jeff Bennett, who was a guest in 2 eps of Rugrats. (Those eps were 1992's "Let Them Eat Cake" and 1998's "Baby Maybe", and in both he played the same character... Side note: Tress MacNeille co-guested with him in his 1992 appearance as his bride, but in 1998 the same person, now his wife, was voiced by Meagan Fay.) Crow: Isn't that a bit of a stretch?... Tom: Well, maybe... And then there's Kevin Richardson. Mike and Crow: The Backstreet Boy? Tom: Uh, this one's a different Kevin. He's the voice of Exile and did a little 'duet' with Angelica in 'Rugrats in Paris'. Mike: Talk of the devil, look who's calling... (Hexfield: Kevin Michael Richardson) Mike: Hey, it's you! How's the voice-over business going? Kevin: Going just fine... I've been doing voices for some video games and some film about recess or something. I've also got jobs in REAL acting... Tom: Examples? Kevin: Well, usually guest starring roles, like a wrestling teacher and stuff like that, but I did have a regular role once, I believe it was in a show about homeboys in outer space. Crow: 'Homeboys in Outer Space'? Man, I enjoyed that show! Lemme guess, you were... that black guy Vashti I believe? Kevin: You got it... I also enjoyed my job with respected voice actress Cheryl Chase, and guess who she is? Mike: I dunno, who? Kevin: Angelica Pickles of Rugrats. Talk about a major league you-know-what there... Tom: Oh, that 'Rugrats in Paris' duet! Crow: Speaking of major league you-know-whats, what did you think when WB's programming execs canned 'Road Rovers'? Kevin: I wasn't exactly devastated, but I wasn't exactly pleased either... I kinda liked the show's humor, and I was kinda impressed with my attempt at a decent Russian accent. I only had a PBS show on the 'Book of Virtues' and 'Homeboys' at the time, meaning I had more time to choose my acting jobs... After 'Homeboys' got canned, I got a job as an additional voice on 'Spawn'... Since then I've done quite a few voice jobs, although mostly in video games... but I did play a peripatetic basketball player in a live- action film once... and of course I've had many guest roles, both voice and live-action. Tom: One last question: Does anyone ever confuse you with the Backstreet Boy? Kevin: I'm black, he's white, so I seriously doubt that anyone would get confused... But just in case, I always use my middle name, Michael, to distinguish me from that other Kevin Richardson. Tom: Hey, beats being Aaron Carter... Mike: Well it was nice talking to you... Keep up the good work...(closes Hexfield) Crow: Well, he's no Jess Harnell or Charlie Adler, but his career seems to be going just fine... Mike: Speaking of guys who're doing just fine, let's check with the Mads... (Back to Dr. Forrester and Frank) Forrester: Well, I've figured out how to make Frank stop behaving like a skateboarder... Mike: Lemme guess... a small dose of 'Rugrats'? Forrester: Exactly... look at him now... (Frank's watching 'Rugrats', sucking on a bottle of soda as if it were a baby's milk bottle, and playing with a rattle) Forrester: See what I mean? The only trouble's trying to get him from playing with the rattle too loud... (to Frank) Enough already! So much noise... (takes away rattle, back to the guys) Anyways, till next week, take care... or not. (snickers, presses button) (closing creds) Thanks to: Tom Ruegger and the WB for making this middlingly decent cartoon. Best Brains and Sci-Fi Channel for giving us the inspiration to MST. Jennifer Wu for transcribing this ep. Everyone who's been reading this. Stinger: > Hunter: Yeah, cuz you're mad at the NFL for letting the Cleveland Browns move to Baltimore!