Transformers: The Movie Part II MSTed by Dinobot and Seth C. Triggs ---------- (SOAP Bridge) (we see that Oscar, Marissa and Echowarrior are playing with a teleporter) ECHOWARRIOR: Welcome to out little coner of the universe... With the help of Marissa and Oscar I hope to beam up some transformers fans. (classic Star Trek beeming effect) MIKE: What are we doing here? TOM: I wonder who lives here... AHHHHHHHHH!! CROW: What? AHHHHHH!!! MIKE: Hey who..AHHHHHHHH!!!! OSCAR, MARISSA... and some weird kid. ECHOWARRIOR: Why is it everyone knows about Marissa and Oscar but they don't know a thing about me... Echowarrior... with my 30+ strength, taking command of the Axlon for no real good reason, and ability to (on the most annoying tone and voice possible) SEE THE FUTURE! CROW: Looks like he's Marissa and ACL merged into a transformer body. MARISSA: That basically sums him up. OSCAR: And voicebot is calling. (Sci-fi Zone) VOICE: Mike and the bots... cool... er. Anyway today's fic is part two of Transformers: The movie. (SOAP) ECHOWARRIOR: Cool.. WE HAVE TRANSFORMERS SIGN! (doors and Mike and the bots sit in their usual seats and the SOAP crew sits in the next 3 seats) Scene 5 ------- > Astrotrain: Jettison some weight or I'll never make it to Cybertron. MIKE(Astrotrain): I should have refueled before I left. > Starscream: Fellow Decepticons, Astrotrain has requested we lighten our > burden. > > Construct: In that case I say it is survival of the fittest. TOM: [Construct] That lifetime supply of Zubas is finally gonna pay off! > Starscream: Do I hear a second on that? > > All unwounded: Aiie. > > Starscream: And against? > > Wounded: Nay. > > Starscream: The aiies have it. ALL: [groan] CROW: This show has worse smarmy puns than Voltron. > Various: Get, Make room for others, No, Please don't. MIKE: Sentence fragments! Must write. Must link sentences. > Starscream: Oh how it pains me to do this. MARISSA(Starscream): Not. TOM: [Starscream] I'm afraid I'm going to have to install Windows 98. > Megatron: Wait, I still function. ECHOWARRIOR(Starscream): Bye. > Starscream: Wanna bet. > Megatron: Starscream!!!!! > Starscream: Well as Megatron has, how shall we say, departed, I nominate > myself leader. CROW: He's departed. We never wrote it, so just take our word for it. MIKE: They're really stretching for that TV-Y7 rating. > Scrapper: Wait, the constructicons form Devastator, the most powerful > robot, we should rule. OSCAR: Well Omega Supereme has a few things to say otherwise. TOM: Hopefully they're coherent. > Soundwave: Soundwave superior, constructicons inferior. MIKE: [Soundwave] GM unfair to workers. > Bone Crusher: Who are you calling inferior. > > Hook: No one would follow an uncharismatic bore like you. CROW: How do you explain Al Gore? ECHOWARRIOR: He's behind a sex-charged president. > Frenzy: No one calls Soundwave unchrasimatic. > > Rumble: Yeah, lets kick tailgate. MIKE:(Tailgate): Don't even try it! TOM: *Tailgate was kicked by TomServo (Bite me!) MARISSA: Why is Tailgate on Astrotrain? > Scrapper: Constructicons unite! > > Frenzy: No way. MIKE: Or the highway. > A fight ensues between the Decepticons for leadership as we > see Astrotrain depart. CROW: But no matter what, we won't show it! TOM: This makes me nostalgic for "Black Day". OSCAR:*with a sick smile* You want me to snowball you? > Scene 6 > ======= > > Unicron: Megatron. Welcome Megatron. MIKE: Are you sure he's welcoming Megatron? CROW: I dunno, we need a little more evidence. > Megatron: Who..who said that? > > Unicron: I am Unicron. > > Megatron: Show yourself. TOM: [Megatron] Mmmm... nice yabos! MIKE: Tom... > Unicron: I have summoned you here for a purpose. ECHOWARRIOR(Unicron): Do you know where I can get a good beer? > Megatron: Nobody summons Megatron. CROW: He smells like feet! OSCAR [Megatron]:I'm not a Magic the Gathering card. > Unicron: Then it pleases me to be the first. > Megatron: State you business. > Unicron: This is my command, you are to destroy the Autobot matrix of > leadership, it is the one thing, the _only_ thing that can > stand in my way. MARISSA(Unicron): Unless I choke on Quintessa. TOM: [Megatron] Well... I dunno... your herpes gets in the way too. MIKE: Tom, no STD jokes... > Megatron: You have nothing to fear, I have already crushed Optimus Prime > with my bare hands. > > Unicron: You exaggerate. CROW: [Unicron] You also smell like doo-doo. > Megatron: The point is he's dead, and the Matrix died with him. TOM: Yes, that's been ESTABLISHED! > Unicron: No, the point is you were a fool, the Matrix has been passed > onto their new leader Ultra Magnus. Destroy it for me. MIKE: I'm too lazy. > Megatron: Why should I, what's in it for me? > > Unicron: Your bargaining posture is highly dubious, but very well, I > will provide you with a new body and new troops to command. MIKE: [Megatron] A new body? RRROWL! Give me Jennifer Love Hewitt's please! CROW: That's it, Mike.... No more Kevin Williamson films for you. > Megatron: And? > > Unicron: And nothing! You belong to me now. TOM: [singing] You belong to me... > Megatron: I belong to nobody! CROW: [Megatron] I paid my car note off! > Unicron: Perhaps I misjudged you, proceed on your way to oblivion. > > Megatron: Aaaaa, no, no, I accept your terms, I accept... MIKE: This is the first time I've seen a robot wet 'em. ECHOWARRIOR: I would have stayed floating in space. > Unicron: Excellent. Behold Galvatron *Megatron is changed into a new > robot, Galvatron* And these shall be your minions, Scourge, the > tracker and his huntsmen, the Sweeps. TOM: ... and the Triffids, Snarfs, Smurfs, Lock-locks, and the Hobgoblins as well. > Cyclonus the warrior, and > his armada. And this shall be your ship. Now go, destroy the > Autobot matrix of leadership. MIKE: That seems to be the recurring point of this movie. ECHOWARRIOR: It's kind of inportant to the plot. > Galvatron: I will rip open Ultra Magnus and every other Autobot until > the Matrix is destroyed. To Cybertron. OSCAR(Unicron): Why are you going to Cybertron? The matrix is on earth. > Galvatron and his troops enter the ship which then moves off. > > Unicron: Destroy the Matrix. CROW: IF THEY MENTION THAT GOD DAMNED MATRIX AGAIN, I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEBODY! MIKE: Whoa, Crow! Settle down! TOM: Yeah, it's only a matrix! CROW: ARRRRRRGGHHHH!! [leaps across the seats and begins beating on TOM] TOM: AAAAAGHH!! MIKE: [manages to separate the bots] Calm down! ECHOWARRIOR: Crow IF YOU DISS THE MATRIX YOU MESS WITH ME, THE BIGGEST TF FANBOY AND AA IN EXISTENCE! > Scene 7 > ======= TOM: [weakly] Audience 0. > We see Starscream about to get coronated, the constructicons > keep playing trumpets with Starscream getting impatient with > their interruptions. CROW: [Starscream] Dammit, I'm the God! I'M THE GOD! > Starscream: Get on with the Ceremony. My fellow Decepticons, as your > new leader I... Who disrupts my coronation? MIKE: Read the next line. > While Starscream was ranting on Galvatron has entered in > Cyclonus. CROW: [Cyclonus] Owwww!! My rear hurts! MIKE: Crow... > Galvatron: Coronation Starscream, this is bad comedy. > > Starscream: Megatron? Is that you? TOM: [Megatron] No, it's Chuck Schumer. Who do you think it is?! > Galvatron: Here's a hint. > > Galvatron transformers and blows Starscream into dust. MARISSA[Starsceam]: I'm going to be a ghost and annoy you until you give me an answer... MIKE: [Starscream] I want my agent! > Galvatron: Will anyone else attempt to fill his shoes? CROW: I thought they were dust... > Frenzy: What'd he say his name was? > > Galvatron: Galvatron. TOM: Galvatron. James Galvatron. > All assembled: Long live Galvatron! Galvatron! MIKE: [crowd] Socks for President! > Scene 8 > ======= CROW: Too late... MIKE: [singing] The party's over! > We cut to moonbase 1 where Unicron is attacking. > > Jazz: Where'd that come from? > > Cliffjumper: Who cares, I'm more worried about where it's going. TOM: [Cliffjumper] Damn that Unicron and his air biscuits! > Cut to Earth where we see Blaster helping in the repairs as he > picks up a signal. CROW: [Blaster] Whoo hoo! I got the Playboy Channel! > Jazz's voice: Talk to me Earth, we got a situation up here. Roger me, > wilco me, anything, hello hello Earth. MIKE: [Earth] This is the Earth. Your call is very important to us, but due to unusually high call volume, this line will be closed until further notice. > Blaster: I'm picking up a faint signal. > > Jazz's voice: This is Jazz, a ginormous weird looking planet just showed > up in the suburbs of Cybertron. TOM: [Jazz] It's driving down out land values! > Cliffjumper's voice: And it's attacking Moonbase 1. CROW: Filmed in Exposition Vision... > Magnus: Jazz, Cliffjumper! > > Cut back to the moon. > > Jazz: Got to blast free if we can. > > Cliffjumper: Ignition and... MIKE: [Jazz] Oh, I forgot to tell you... the battery died two days ago. > Jazz: Hit it! > > Cliffjumper: Jazz, we're not getting away! TOM: [Cliffjumper] I forgot to put in an engine when I built this ship! > Cut to Spike and Bumblebee on Earth communications monitor CROW: I've got a better idea: Why don't we just CUT? > Spike: This is spike and Bumblebee up here on moonbase 2. ECHOWARRIOR: Could they have had Trailbreaker and Punch on moonbase 2? MIKE: Ummmm... *who*? ECHOWARRIOR: Nevermind..you're not Transformers fanboys... > Bumblebee: This thing, this monster planet just ripped the first moon > to shreds. > > Spike: And it's heading this way. TOM: [Spike] Oh my god. We are going to die. I just filled my pants. > Bumblebee: We'll try and slow it down. OSCAR [Bumblee]: And it's breath stinks! > Spike: But you'd better get here fast, cause we're not gonna.... > (communications are cut off) CROW: Lorena? > Daniel: Dad! MIKE: John! > Cut to moonbase 2 with Spike and Bumblebee. > > Spike: Bumblebee, activate the explosives. If this doesn't stop it, > nothing will. > > Bumblebee: The explosives are activated, lets get outta here. Hurry > it's gonna blow! TOM: Monica? CROW: OK, that's enough with the names. > The moon is eaten and explodes, Bumblebee and Spike are in a > shuttle which is rocked by the explosion TOM: [Spike] I told you we should have landed at Dulles! > Bumblebee & Spike: Alright. Hooray. We done it. Way togo. Ha ha.... MIKE: These guys seem manic-depressive or something... > Bumblebee: Look! > > Shot of Unicron, not even dented. > > Spike: It isn't even dented. What are we gonna do now? CROW: [Bumblebee] Let's sit back, have a six pack and relax! > Bumblebee: We're being sucked into it! MARISSA(DX): Suck it! TOM: [Dark Helmet] Suck! Suck! Suck! > Cut to Galvatron watching the moons destruction. > > Galvatron: How dare Unicron, Cybertron and all it's moons belong to > me...Argh! MIKE: [Galvatron] I flubbed my line! CROW: [Galvatron] I forgot the fabric softener! TOM: [Galvatron] I left my headlights on! > Galvatron is struck down with pain as Unicron uses some sort > of attack on him CROW: [producers] But no matter what, we won't show it. TOM: Someone's been reading "How to Write Fights Really Good" by Stephen Ratliff. ECHOWARRIOR: It's just the writer of the transcript. > Scourge: But remember, we belong to him. MIKE: So what, Unicron is a bank now? ECHOWARRIOR[Galvatron]: I don't belong to anyone..execpt Hasbro. > Galvatron: I belong to nobody! (Falls down stairs) I will obey Unicron. > (recovers as the attack stops) Decepticons, to Earth. TOM: That's one way to inspire loyalty. Head trauma. MARISSA: Worked on Jay. > Scene 9 > ======= CROW: Audience STILL 0. MIKE: Well... we got to see someone smite Optimus. CROW: Oh. Audience 1. > Earth. > Magnus: Autobots, prepare to board the shuttles. This new menace is > more dangerous than all the Decepticons put together, somehow > we must destroy it, before it devours Cybertron. TOM: Put sugar in his gas tank! MIKE: Make him listen to Michael Bolton records! CROW: Give him a Drano enema. MIKE & TOM: Crow!! > Daniel: But what about my dad? He's on the moon between that monster > planet and Cybertron. > > Magnus: Daniel, we'll do everything we can for Spike. TOM: [Magnus] And your dad too. MIKE: Ouch! > Springer: And what do we do when we get there? If that thing crunches > moons it's gonna make short work of us. > Magnus: Maybe the Matrix can stop it. OSCAR(Ultra Magnus): And how would you know? CROW: Again with the Matrix!! SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN MATRIX!! MIKE: It doesn't always have to be the matrix... a simple table, or derivative, or even a coordinate grid will do. [BOTS look at MIKE.] ECHOWARRIROR:[throws Crow across the Theater] CROW: Owwww... > Hot Rod: You're right, it can. > > Kup: What do you know about it lad? TOM: [Hot Rod] Well... it's certainly more legit than your Scottish accent. > Hot Rod: I just got this feeling. CROW: [Hot Rod] My nipples explode with delight! MIKE: [laughs] > Springer: Look. > > A whole heap of Decepticons appear and start attacking. MIKE: Not just a heap, but a *whole* heap! CROW: Hogpile!!! > Magnus: To the shuttles. > > Galvatron: I Galvatron will crush you just as Megatron crushed Prime. TOM: Are you gonna stab him in the back? > Magnus: And you'll die trying just like Megatron. CROW: [Magnus] And wetting too, actually. > Galvatron: Autobot scrap. > > Scourge: You want me to gut Ultra Magnus? MIKE: Yes, and his little dog too. MARISSA [Galvatron]: I want to kill him myself! > Galvatron: There are plenty of Autobots for you, Ultra Magnus is mine. TOM: Galvatron must be a john. CROW: For shame, Transformers! > Arcee: Stay close to me Daniel. > > Hot Rod: And you'd better stay close to me. MIKE: [Hot Rod] And don't do that thing with your tailpipe. TOM: Ick... > Arcee: No, you'd better stay close to me. > Blurr: NiceDino,GoodDino,SweetDino,WontYouStepIntoTheNiceSpaceship, > Please,PrettyPlease,PrettyPrettyPlease,NiceDino,GoodDino, > WithSugarOnTopAndACherryAndSomeWhippedCream,NiceDino, > GoodDino,SweetDino. ALL: ARRRRRRGGHHHH!!! TOM: [imagines Blurr getting reassembled into a 16-slice toaster.] Ahhhh... > Grimlock: Me Grimlock not nice dino, me bash brains. CROW: [Grimlock] Me went to Blue Light special on extra chromosomes. MIKE: No, he's a robot, remember? ECHOWARRIOR [Grimlock]: me Grimlock should command Autobots! > Magnus: Blurr, get the Dinobots in the shuttle. MIKE: What about the "Blizzards"? CROW: Cute use of the fourth wall, Mike. > Blurr: I'mTryingToGetThemInTheShuttleUltraMagnus,CauseIKnowWeCan'tLaunch > TillIGetThemInTheShuttleButICan'tSeemToGetThemInTheShuttleCause > TheirImpossibleImpossibleImpossible! TOM: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! > Magnus: Ok forget it. Kup, Hot Rod, you guys get the Dinobots aboard > and get out of here! > Hot Rod: come on you big bozo, get in the shuttle. CROW: OK, little bozo! > Kup: This reminds me of the battle on Alpha 9, the petro rabbits > were...Grimlock, get your noodle outta my face. MIKE: EWWWWWW!! TOM: Didn't Gennifer Flowers say that? MIKE: Quota. > Grimlock: Me Grimlock love Kup's war stories. CROW: Me Crow want to kick the ass of everyone in this show. ECHOWARRIOR: You want me to rip out your optics? [Grins] > Kup: Your living one now. Engage the boosters for Cybertron's sake. > Grimlock: Tell Grimlock about petro-rabbits again. TOM: Heh... Lord of the Flies or something? MIKE: [dopey voice] Tell me about the rabbits again, George! > Kup: I'll give you Petro rabbits. Contact. > > Kup and Hot Rods shuttle starts to take off. > > Springer: Looks like we're shipmates squirt. CROW: IfyaknowwhatImean! OSCAR [Springer]: I'll let Tracks run you over.. > Daniel: Alright. > > Springer: But if you get spacesick you're gonna walk home. TOM: You could actually do that in Thundercats. But since this is another show, your blood will boil and you would die. MIKE: Feeling dark today, Tom? TOM: Not particularly, why do you ask? ECHOWARRIOR:[stares at Tom coldly] > Magnus: Hurry. > > Daniel: Wait Ultra Magnus, Arcee's still out there. CROW: And Tonka, Radio Shack, everyone. MARISSA: So's Hound, Trailbreaker, the Omnibots, the Powerdashers, the Axelators, the Jumpstarters and the Godmasters. > Springer: Jump. TOM: [singing] Jump for it!! > Arcee: Thanks. > > Daniel: *sighs* That was close. > > Springer: Believe it or not, this is the fun part. MIKE: Ummmm... what? CROW: Pardon me for being rude, but when doing a transcript, aren't you Supposed to add description? > Scene 10 > ======== > Magnus: Congratulations Autobots, we've lost them, so rest while you > can. > > Kup: Yep I remember the dust was so think on Beta 4 you had to > windshield-wipers on your optic-fibers. ALL: The hell?!! TOM: Geez, does Dr. Thinker write for Transformers? MARISSA [Optimus Primal]: BY PRIMUS..NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! > Grimlock: Me Grimlock know all about wipers, want to hear good part > of story. CROW: Ick... MIKE: He means windshield wipers. > Swoop: Good part come, Kup, tell swoop good part. > > Kup: Okay, okay, so the dust was really thick. And then this gigantic > Igyac came tromping and stomping down the mountain, flame > spewing out of it's nostrils, and I thought for sure... TOM: [Kup]... I had filled my pants. Then I remember that I don't wear pants. ECHOWARRIOR [Kup]: Then this telepath sent a story into the Igyac's mind. It was Enterprized.. MARISSA: Hey! > Hot Rod: Hey Kup, don't you think we have better things to do now > than tell old war stories. > > Kup: Like what? MIKE: [Kup] Oil our baseball mitts? TOM: Heh! OSCAR [Hot Rod]: MST bad fanfics... CROW: No fourth wall, Oscie... > Hot Rod: Like maybe figure out how we're going to rescue our friends > and save Cybertron. > > Grimlock: No, tell story! CROW: [Grimlock] I'm colicy! > Various Dinobots: Shhhh. Quiet. Tell story. We want to hear story. > Tell story. > > Combat drone: Timeout, timeout, timeout! TOM: Boring, Boring, BORING!!! > The Decepticons start attacking the shuttles. > > Hot Rod: They're closing on us. > > Kup: Yep, like the shritebots of Dromadon. > > Hot Rod: How'd you beat them? MIKE: [Kup] Tied their shoelaces together. > Kup: I'm trying to remember, there were an awful lot of casualties that > day. Oh yes, we invented polarities. CROW: [Kup] We also invented furnace filters. > Hot Rod: They're coming' back. > > Hot Rod: Alright, we survived that. TOM: [Hot Rod] Man, that space in the transcript was hairy!! > Kup: Yeah, but will we survive this? TOM: [Kup] Hanson's making another album!! > Galvatron: Cyclonus, transform and attack. > > Kup: I can't control it. MIKE: [Kup] Stupid Playstation analog controller! > Hot Rod: We're gonna crash! > > Springer: Kup and Hot Rod just bought it. CROW: [Springer] They bought my "TOO HOT FOR TV VIII"!! TOM: [Springer] Now their mortgage is screwed forever. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! > Magnus: I can't deal with that now. MARISSA [Ultra magnus]: I'm only a white repaint of Optimus Prime... MIKE: That's nice, Missy. CROW: All you guys do is talk about Transformers. Be flexible! ECHOWARRIOR: Crow, I am a Transformer! MARISSA: I command you all, bow before me!!!!!!! > Springer: Face it Magnus, the Decepticons are gonna dog us until they > see us dead. > > Magnus: Then that's exactly what they're gonna see, prepare for > emergency separation. > > Perceptor: That's too dangerous. TOM: [Perceptor] It's like smearing peanut butter on your genitals, and... ummm... never mind. > Magnus: What choice do we have. > > The Autobots separate 3/4 of the shuttle and let it get > blown away. CROW: And this is probably a better movie than "Blown Away". > Scourge: The Autobots have been terminated. > > Galvatron: Excellent, and the Matrix with the. Aaaaa (Unicron > attacks again) no Unicron why? Take me to Unicron, take me > now, aaaaaa... MIKE: Time hiccup? TOM: Crow, they mentioned the Matrix again. Aren't you going to go postal? CROW: [muttering] I don't care. I'm too bitter. > Scene 11 > ======== TOM: [singing] ...pipers piping. > Arcee: Did we have to let them detonate 3 quarters of the ship? > Springer: Seeing as they would have detonated 4 quarters, I think it > was a good choice. MIKE: [Springer] In retrospect, maybe we shouldn't have detonated the Section that contained the restrooms. CROW: [Springer] And all my "Too Hot for TV" videos!! Gone, all gone!! OSCAR: Crow, I can give you too hot for TV. [Grins evilly] MARISSA: Oscar, stop doing that to our guests! CROW: Ick... > Arcee: But how are we going to get there in this wreck? > > Magnus: Perceptor, can you locate a place to set down for repairs? > > Perceptor: Gamma waves in this region of space create marginal > navigation probabilities...however, ahem, yes I believe I can, > the planet of Junk is in this vicinity. TOM: [Perceptor] Oh, drat... my technobabble cartridge went out again... damn DOS. ECHOWARRIOR[Perceptor]: A race of TV-watching robot coach pototatoes lives there. > Magnus: Then lets go for it. > > > > Scene 12 > ======== CROW: 12 scenes too many. MIKE: [singing] 1... less... scene to sleep in... > Quintessa(presumably) underwater with Hot Rod... > > Hot Rod: Kup, Grimlock, Slag, anybody! OSCAR [Hot Rod]: Broadside, Sandstorm, HotSpot, anyone!!!!! > Kup: Hot Rod! Help me! TOM: [Kup] My rubber underwear is stuck! > Hot Rod comes across Kup, who is being attacked by some metallic > octopi-thing, which Hot Rod manages to scare off. MARISSA: He shows it a hentai Oscar picture... OSCAR: Hey! MIKE: Yeah, tentacles are much more scary than dual genitalia. OSCAR: I can get the Overfiend here and we can test that theory Mike.. > Hot Rod: Kup, Kup! > > Kup: Help..... > > Hot Rod: Kup, talk to me. CROW: [Kup] Duh!! Didn't I just say "Help....."? > Kup: Ffffix me. ECHOWARRIOR: Someone call First Aid, or Hoist! CROW: [Kup] One dime bag, please... > Hot Rod: Sure Kup, right away. > > Hot Rod gathers up Kup parts and carries him off. MIKE: Not NAPA... Kup. > Scene 13 > ======== TOM: Yeah, this story is unlucky. > Magnus: Brace for impact!! CROW: [Magnus] Marcia Brady is behind the wheel! > The shuttle impacts hard, plowing across the ground. > > Magnus: Sat something, anybody. MARRISSA, ECHOWARRIOR, OSCAR: TRANSFORMERS! MIKE & THE BOTS: [looking at the others] FANBOYS!! MARRISSA: Echowarrior's the only one of those here.. > Springer: Remind me to give the auto-pilot a raise. TOM: Well, you can't... it's a computer... ohhh... it's a joke. My bad. > Arcee: Daniel? > > Daniel: I..I'm okay. CROW: [Daniel] I mean, I'm squishy, but I'm OK. > Magnus: Let's try to salvage this thing. > > Daniel: Can I help? OSCAR [Ultra Magnus]: Sure..go scout ahead..and hopefully get kil...d'oh. > Springer: It's rough out there kid. MIKE: [Springer] Always up-and coming hosts trying to steal my show's viewers. CROW: Quota. MIKE: Awwww... > Arcee: I think Daniel can make himself useful with this, it was Spikes > exo-suit. MARISSA: Then why doesn't Spike have it? TOM: Family heirloom? > Daniel: Dads exo-suit, he told me all about it. ECHOWARRIOR(Daniel): That he was wearing it when he dove into the Ark's engine trying to kill Megatron. TOM: Shut up, ya damn fanboy... ECHOWARRIOR: *shatters Tom's dome* [Optimus Primal] Blow it. MIKE: Looks like we're crossing over with Centurions or something. MIKE begins to repair TOM's dome] > Arcee: Here try it on. Now try to walk, come on you can do it. > > Springer: Just think about what you want to do before you do it. MIKE: [Springer] Like never invite a transvestite stri-- CROW: NO. > Daniel: It's kinda tricky, woah, uh. > > Arcee: Keep on practicing, you'll get the hang of it. > > Magnus: Come on, ShowTime's over, we've got work to do. TOM: [Magnus] We gotta get our premium porn channel back!! > Daniel: *whistles* This must be the junk capital of the universe. ALL: You think? MIKE: Secaucus? > A number of robotic figures come out of the junk some > distance away. > > Wreck-Gar: Stop thief, no welcome wagon hello stranger with that good > coffee flavor for you, offer expires while you wait, operators > are standing by. OSCAR: What ever..Autobots ..and Maximal.. transform and leave the theater. CROW: Boy, there's nothing like a good, exciting, action-packed movie! Too bad we had to watch this. MIKE: Yeah, what a waste of time. [all leave] (SOAP bridge) (Mike is looking around) MIKE: Weird place.. (The bots run in) TOM:AHHHHH! CROW: Run for your life Mike..the Transformers toys are alive..and they are using real guns and missiles! TOM: We're praying they run on no-name brand batteries... (Run off when a missile blows up on the table) Machine Wars Optimus Prime(off stage): There they are..attack!!! (Mike and the bots run away) ECHOWARRIOR: GET THEM!!! Anyway we'll be right back *hits the commerical button*