Road Rovers - Space Ace Archies Show                
			by Scott Space Ace Oliverson

<Featuring the humans and canosapiens portraying the actual cartoon
characters of the Pop-Rock group and comic series>
ARCHIE as Space Ace
REGGIE as Hunter
JUGHEAD as Buzz Lightyear
VERONICA as Colleen
BETTY as Kimberly
HOT DOG as Anabelle                                        
			
				STORY #1

<Scene opens with Ace talking about today's episode...>
                                       
				 SPACE ACE

Hi, you know what I heard?  Rumor has it that Colleen's having a chivelry
kick.  You know back in the old medieval days.  Like when guys had to prove
they were brave and stuff like that for their girlfriends...

(Suddenly something flies past his head, hits the wall above the sofa.  It
is a NERF arrow with a note attached to it.)
                                        
				SPACE ACE <Shocked>
Hey!  What's this? <Reads message> Sir Ace.  I hearby challenge you to a
jousting duel.  To the winner goes maiden Colleen's hand.  Signed Sir
Hunter.  P.S. may the best man win. <Another portion of the note scrolls
down revealing more writing> P.S.S. and that means me signed Sir Hunter?  Oh
yeah?!  Well we'll just see about that!

(Later, Ace confronts his rivalry and prepares for wargames.)
                                        
					SPACE ACE
Has thou ready canosapien knight?                                        
					HUNTER
Thou ready human knight!                                        
					COLLEEN
Oh Kim, isn't it groovy how these two men fight over me?
                                        
					KIMBERLY
If you like it that much.  Why don't you get a front-row seat at Madison
Square Garden.                                        
					ANABELLE <Puzzled>
Gee I don't know which fight to watch.  Is it the one over there, or the one
over there?

(Suddenly both knights charge each other on unicycles with jousting poles in
their hands.)                                        

					SPACE ACE
Charge!
                                        					
					HUNTER
Charge nothing, I prefer cash on the buck.
                                        
					KIMBERLY
Careful Ace.
                                        SPACE ACE <Distracted>
Huh?  What?
(He gets nailed in the face by the padded end of the pole and goes flying
off his cycle.)                                        

					SPACE ACE
So why did you distract me Kimmy?
                                        KIMBERLY
I didn't want you to get hurt Ace.
(Winces as her ex-boyfriend hits the ground on his ass.)
                                        
					SPACE ACE
Well thanks. <Sits up, rubbing spot where he got hit> After this, just don't
ever talk to a jouster when he's just about to joust. <Falls back down>
                                        
					HUNTER
Cool!  That about takes care of the hero of earth, and I claim the hand of
the fair maiden Colleen. <Sweeps her up in his arms>
                                        
					COLLEEN
Blimey let's go celebrate at malt shoppe sir Huntie.
                                        
					BUZZ LIGHTYEAR
Hey, what's with all the medieval jazz-type huh?
                                        
					KIMBERLY
Oh Colleen's on a chivelry kick.  You know the knight in shining armor bit.
                                        
					SPACE ACE <Gets an idea>
Shining armor?  YEAH!  The jedi knight will rise again!
(He runs off, as Kim, Buzz and Anabelle look on in puzzlement.)
                                        
					BUZZ LIGHTYEAR
I wonder what he meant by that?                                        
		
					ANABELLE
I have a hunch I know what he meant by that. <Suddenly she hears a horse's
whinney, looks around and gasps> I WAS RIGHT!
                                        
					KIM AND BUZZACE???
                                        
					SPACE ACE

Colleen said she wanted a knight in shining armor, and that's what she's
gonna get!(Ace is wearing an antique suit of armor and riding on horseback.)
                                        
					ANABELLE <Giggling>
If it had a label on it, it would pass for a talking can of dogfood.
                                        
					BUZZ LIGHTYEAR
He's got ole Bess, the plow-horse!
(Both he and Kimberly begin laughing at the sight.)
                                        
					SPACE ACE
Come valiant steed.  Maiden Colleen waits at malt shoppe. <Rides away>
                                        
					ANABELLE
For Bess's sake, I hope it's not far.
(At the malt shop we see Hunter and Colleen sharing some ice cream.)
                                        
					HUNTER
Have another banana split fair maiden?
                                        
					COLLEEN
No thank you sir Huntie. <She hears whinney, looks up and gasps> Eek!
What's that?                                        
					HUNTER
Whoa!  Unless I'm mistaken.  It's a mechanized garbage can.
                                        
					SPACE ACE
Alas Rover Knight.  Come forth to do battle! <Visor on helmet changs shut>
Shit, I hate it when that happens!                                        
					HUNTER
I'd love to Ace ole boy but I forgot my can opener, heh-heh.  However with
this fishing pole and carrot I shall improvise.
(He slides pole with carrot attached to string on end through pomel of
saddle.  Bess the horse sees it, goes crazy!)
                                        
					SPACE ACE <Startled>
Hey!  What gives?!
                                        
					HUNTER
Hi ho Silver!
(The horse races away, trying to grab the carrot with Ace hanging on in 
terror!)
                                        
					SPACE ACE
Yeeeehow!  Whoa, whoa bess, HEEELP!
                                        HUNTER <Laughs>
Ho, ho, hahahaha!
                                        
					COLLEEN <Gets angry>
That was a dirty trick Hunter.                                        

					HUNTER
What do you mean?  I washed the carrot first.
                                        
					SPACE ACE
Steady steed!  Ah come on Bess, act your age!
(Bess is still galloping at fast speed.  She begins racing through Hill
Valley's main street causing cars & trucks to slam on their brakes,
pedestrians leaping out of the way, etc.  One moment police captain
Klegghorn stops traffic from crossing out as the horse races by him through
the intersection.)                                        

					SPACE ACE
Ahhh, thanks officer.                                        

					KLEGGHORN
Ah don't mention it.  What are kids going to wear next?
(Suddenly Anabelle chasing after the horse cannonballs into him from behind,
knocking the captain off his feet and onto his butt.  The angel-whippet
slides to a stop.)                                        

					ANABELLE
I don't know why I'm running.  When I can wait for the rest and ride. <Sees
Delorean approaching.> Ahh here they come now. <Sets herself> One for the
money, two for the show, oops.  They're coming fast, I'd better GO!
(Jumping high into the air she lands squarely through the open roof window
landing in the backseat.)                                        

					ANABELLE
Yeah!  How's that for timing!                                        

					SPACE ACE
Oh no, it's a traffic light Bess!  Bess you went through a red light! <The
horse keeps on going.  Ace grabs onto top of light-pole and hangs on.> Now
quit horsing around, use your head. <Horse comes back the other way, Ace
drops onto her again, only he's facing the wrong way.> Whoa!  What head?!
(Now we see Commander Borf standing on a nearby corner)
                                        
					BORF
Now what was it Belledona wanted me to get her from the store?
                                        
					SPACE ACE
HEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEE! <He goes racing past the startled pirate>
                                        BORF
Uh flipped nut?  Hey, now I remember what Belle wanted from the store.  A
can of nuts! <Does double-take> Ace?  Is that you in that tin can!
AHAHAHAHAAH! <Falls over laughing evilly>
                                        KIMBERLY
Step on it 007.  We must find Bess.
                                        COLLEEN <Driving the delorean>
This is all my fault.  Oh poor Ace.
                                        HUNTER <Trying not to laugh>
Hey what are you worrying about he's well protected. <Kim hits him in the
head with her backpack> Ouch!  Hey!  I'm not.
                                        KIMBERLY
You, YOU!
                                        BUZZ LIGHTYEAR <Points out window>
Hold it gang there he is!                                        

					KIMBERLY
He's headed this way.  Do something Lightyear we gotta stop Bess.
                                        
					BUZZ LIGHTYEAR

I'll try talking some horse-sense to her! <Throwing open the door the space
ranger jumps out>
                                        ANABELLE <Covers her eyes>
OH NO!
                                        BUZZ LIGHTYEAR
Stop!  Halt in the name of Buzz Lightyear, I command you...
(The horse carrens into him, throwing Lightyear end over end landing him
onto his butt and backside.)
                                        BUZZ LIGHTYEAR
You stupid four-legged nag!  I oughta send you to the Glue Factory!
                                        
ANABELLE
Sigh!  It's a good thing the ranger landed on his helmet, or he could've
gotton hurt.                                        
					KIMBERLY
C'mon Buzz!
                                        BUZZ LIGHTYEAR
I'm coming!  To infinity and beyond! <Activates his wings and takesoff.>
                                        SPACE ACE
Whoa Bess, heel!
(Suddenly he falls off backside of horse and is dragged along the ground
bouncing and throwing up sparks from his armor suit.)
                                        
					HUNTER
Now that's what I call a knight full of starch.  Ho-ho-ha-ha-ha-ha!
                                        
					SPACE ACE
Ouch, Ouch, Oh-oh-OW! <Cries from stinging burning pain>
                                        
					ANABELLE
He went that-a-way! <Sees horse run in opposite direction.>
                                        
					SPACE ACE
Oh no, doomsday!  Danger open hole!
(Ace sees a manhole cover off a sewer opening in the ground.  Bess actually
goes into the hole, still chasing the carrot throwing Ace skyhigh into the
air.  He comes down, landing in a wagon and goes rolling off down the streets!)
                                        
					SPACE ACE <Angry>
Kids shouldn't leave their toys lying around where knights can fall in them!
                                        
					KIMBERLY <Confused>
Ace and Bess seem to have dissapeared.
                                        
					HUNTER
Yeah, let's go home.
                                        COLLEEN <Sees something roll by>
Wait, look!  Ace is that you?                                        
					HUNTER
No Ace is riding a white horse.  He's riding...<Does shocked take> A WAGON?!
(Suddenly Ace crashes the wagon into an obstruction, goes flying into the
air again and lands on the horse's back again!)
                                        
					SPACE ACE
I guess I should start living right. <Just then a nearby magnetic crane
attracted to his armor yanks him into the air and he clangs against its
powerful surface!> Uh-oh, I take that back! <The crane shuts off the power
and drops the hero headfirst into a nearby junkpile of dead autos.  The
Delorean skids to a stop, Colleen jumps out and runs over to the knocked out
knight lying on his back.>                                        

					COLLEEN
Ace!  Ace are you alright? <Lifts up the visor> Ohh you are my hero! <She
kisses him long and hard, arms thrown around his neck.>
                                        
					SPACE ACE <Blushes>
Man, like the job may be rough.  But I dig the salary.
(Later Hunter looks on as Bess is eating her carrot.)
                                        
					HUNTER
Well Bess, I see you got your carrot, heh-heh you sure gave ole Ace a ride,
ha-ha!  I'd wonder what she'd do for a sugar cube, ho-ho-ha-ha-ha-ha!
(Angerd, Bess kicks a bucket or pail which flies through the air and lands
on Hunter's head!  He takes off running in a panic.)
                                        
					HUNTER
Help!  Keep her away from me, she's a beast!
                                        
					ANABELLE <Laughing>
I think that's one sugar cube that G.I.Joe owes Bessie, HAHAHAHAAH!
(Later that night...)                                        

					KIMBERLY
Isn't that disgusting...Ah, romantic Lightyear?
                                        
					BUZZ LIGHTYEAR <Frowns>
Mush!  If you ask me that's a flakey way for a knight to end the day man.
(He's refering to Ace and Colleen sitting on Bess, resting their heads
against each other, arms around one another and gazing up at a night sky
filled with stars and a full moon.  Bess snickers to herself.)
                                        

THE END OF STORY #1