I remember the first time I saw her, sitting there in the deserted park under an ancient Weeping Willow, her eyes closed and her knees pulled up to her chest. By some invisible magentic force, I found myself standing in front of her, watching her intensely dark crimson hair blow softly in the breeze. Sensing my presence, she opened her eyes, two sparkling emerald eyes, that seemed to smile up at me.
"Hi," she said.
"Hi," I said. "I see you're by yourself. Mind if I sit with you?"
"Sure," she said, smiling.
We talked for hours, then met that night at the movies. It was an old version of Romeo and Juliet. With my arm around her and her head on my shoulder, I knew she was the one. And when we kissed, I was only reassured of that.
We dated for about a year, and, day by day, I grew to love everything about her. Her voice was the most beautiful music I had ever heard, and she had the walk and air of confidence that could only be found on the runways of Paris, and her looks were of a true Grecian goddess. To me, she was perfect. She was my goddess.
Then things changed, and we slowly began to drift apart. Her personality was different and we began speaking to each other less. I spent many sleepless nights wondering if I had said or done something wrong to cause this distance between us. To clear my head, I went to the park and sat under the ancient Weeping Willow, only to find someone already there. Her face was buried in her hands, and she was completely silent.
"Finally, we meet again," I said, sitting next to her. Her head shot up at the sound of my voice. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, and I could see her eyes were red, tears threatening those glistening emeralds. It had been a full week-and-a-half since we had spoken, let alone seen each other.
"Is something wrong?" I asked, trying to meet her gaze. She muttered something unfathomable and continued to stare at the ground. "What?"
Sighing, she looked up at me, the tears finally spilling over. "We can't see each other anymore," she repeated, loud enough for me to hear.
I didn't or couldn't fully comprehend what she was saying. "Why? I thought you loved me. Why can't we see each other anymore?" My heart wrenched as she spoke.
"God, I do love you, Taylor. It's my parents. They think we're too young to be in this kind of relationship. We have to end it."
"Did you tell them how much we love each other?" I asked, wiping the tears from her eyes, fighting back my own simutaneously.
"They don't believe it. They said it's impossible for two fifteen-year-olds to understand what true love is."
I held her in my arms, telling her we would get through it. That was true for a few weeks. We found ways to see each other, I cherished every second with her. I honestly thought things were going well. I called her one sunny afternoon, using my first name, Jordan, as my identity when her mother answered the phone. She said she would call me back. But she never did.
I couldn't take it anymore, and I had the sinking suspicion that something was wrong, so the next day, I went over to her house. Her mother answered the door with bloodshot eyes, as if she had been crying. I went inside and sat next to her on the couch. She handed me an envelope with My Love written on it, and when she told me what had happened, I thought my heart would freeze. I couldn't breathe as I left her house, running for the Weeping Willow, angry at the world for being so happy and the day for being so bright. I tore open the envelope and read her words over and over, finally letting the tears fall.
That was a year ago, and I here I am, kneeling under the Weeping Willow, clutching the letter in my left hand, tracing the inscribed letters of her name with my right. I stared at her words on the pale blue stationary, each word piercing my soul.
My Love-
I'm so sorry. Things were never supposed to be this way. I love and need you too much. Please don't think this is your fault. You did and said nothing to hurt me. You made my life better with your love. You showed me what true love is, and for that reason alone, I love you.
Promise me one thing, Taylor. Promise me you will go on living your dream. Don't let this murder your heart. Remember our good times, Taylor. Remember our love. Look to the sky and I'll be there, watching over you. I'll never leave you; I'll always be by your side.
Please shed no tears for me. Know that I'll always be with you. I'll live on in your heart, in your dreams, and in your memories. This isn't good-bye, Taylor, for I know that someday we'll be together again, and we'll stay that way eternally. Remember always that I love you, and I always will.
Until We Meet Again, Love, Forever and Always, Your Goddess
I wiped the firery tears from my eyes as I folded up the letter. Placing her favorite wildflowers and gardenias on her grave, I whispered I love you, and I slowly walked away. But something stopped me in mid-step. By some invisible magnetic force, I turned around to face the Weeping Willow. I saw a vision of white look back at me and smile, then disappear. I never told anyone else because I knew they would never believe, but I know I saw my goddess looking back at me, her intensely dark crimson hair blowing softly in the breeze, sitting there under the ancient Weeping Willow.
© 1998 Hanson: Forever & A Day
