"This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.

It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace.

The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.

"Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion. "He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.

"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Everyday you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death.

I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives.

I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done.

I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.

I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.

I'm reading more and dusting less.

I'm setting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.

I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure.

I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it.

My theory is if I look prosperous,

I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties;

clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that

function as well as my party-going friends'.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.

If it is worth seeing or hearing or doing,

I want to see and hear and do it now.

I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she

wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted.

I think she would have called family members and a few close friends.

She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles.

I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food.

I'm guessing - I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I know that my hours were limited.

Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday.

Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days.

Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enought how much I truly love them.

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add daughter and luster to our lives.

And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...

a gift for God.

"This is the day that the Lord hath made.

Let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

We can't change the direction of the wind,

but we can adjust the sails.

today is A Special Occasion by Ann Wells of the Los Angeles Times

YOU SEE IT IN ONE'S EYES

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOUR BODY BECOMES A LIGHT

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

THEIR ISN'T ENOUGH HOURS IN A DAY

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOUR LIFE IS NOW A DELIGHT

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

THE TENDERNESS OF THE TOUCHES

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND LOVER

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOU NEVER SAY I AM SORRY

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOU GET LITTLE SPECIAL THINGS FOR EACH OTHER

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOU HAVE NO EMPTYNESS

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

I HAVE SOME ONE TO HOLD AND COMFORT

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOU HAVE THE CLOSENESS; THE CUDDLING; THE HUGS; THE TENDERNESS

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOU MAKE MY HOUSE A HOME

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

YOU MAKE A DARK CLOUDY DAY BRIGHT

WHEN LOVE IS FOUND

THIS IS WHAT IS NEEDED TO HAVE COMPLETE LOVE

TO SOME ONE VERY SPECIAL

I love her friendly ways,

she"s like a hostess who brings out

Her very best on well-filled trays.

You've planted and weeded all summer long

And maybe worried a little, too,

But now, August is having a party

And she's invited you !

Baskets and pails are filled with good things ----

Tomatoes ripening on the window sill

And corn on the cob doing somehting for butter

Taht nothing else ever will.

Cucumbers hidden in prickly bed,

Sparkling with morning dew ----

Green pepper pods and luscious blueberries ---

I dearly love August, don't you ?

Flower-pickin' days, water sprinkler days,

It;s the barefoot time of year,

And oh, the taste of that wonderful watermelon

We only get when August is here.

Green beans and succhini enough for all

And some to save for a winter day,

Whe no one ever need goo hungry

Who planted a seed in May.

That seed you planted so trustingly

In the cold, unfriendly sod

Has now brought you your just reward.

Beautiful August, a gift from God.