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From: thenixtr@aol.com (The Nixtr)
Newsgroups: alt.toys.transformers
Subject: FANFIC: DEFORMERS, Part 5 of 6
Date: 25 Sep 1995 20:34:45 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
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Part 5.

     (SOUNDTRACK: The typical battle scene music: dun dun... den den...
dun-den den-
den den-den den-den!  (Repeat)*  

     Floptimus Crime hushed the chattering of his fellow Autobotches.
     "Autobotches," he addressed his reinforcements, "The Decepticrums
have
returned. 
And this time Blas-der isn't with us.  We must not let them gain ground."
     Galvaschlong had already launched the first wave of attackers.
Floptimus Crime
retaliated.
     "Purrrtenders, attack!"
     A patrol of stuffed cats made their way onto the battlefield.  Within
seconds,
they were annihilated.  Floptimus Crime, in his ignorance, had recruited
not
the
Pretender Deformers, but a line of feline (nice alliteration, yes?) dolls
from the
late 80's.
     "No!!!" shrieked Floptimus.  "Those aren't the right Pretenders!!!"
     Grudgeon picked the single surviving Purrrtender.  "Yeah, but they
really purr!" 
Squeezing it to his chest, the Purrrtender emits a motorized sound which
more
closely
resembles a mufflerless car than a cat's purr.
     Floptimus Crime quickly compensated for his embarrassing error.
"Autobotch
Micromasters, attack!"
     Without delay, approximately sixty ankle-high-by-robot-standard
Deformers
swarmed the area, clanking their fists on Decepticrum armor.   The
frustration the
Micromasters gave the Decepticrums were similar to that a human gets when
he
sleeps on
an anthill.
     The whole time, the Micromasters shouted their battle cry.  "BEEEE-
teebeeteebeeteebeeteebeetee!!!"
     Crime was in the driver's seat this time.  While the Decepticrums
were
distracted looking downward, he sent in the next wave of troops.
"Blahmbatrons,
attack!"  Crime loved it when he wins a battle by doing nothing but
standing
around
and giving orders.
     The Blahmbatrons did the works.  Decepticrums fell in large numbers.
     Galvaschlong thought, now or never.  After all, he actually hoped
that
he'd fare
poorly so that he'd have a reason to actually open his matrix.  As the
Deformer armies
struggled for their small tract of land, Galvaschlong flew in the air out
of
range of
Autobotch artillery fire, and opened the post in the posterior compartment
of
his arm-
mounted laser cannon.  Hey if you ever saw the episode The Burden Hardest
to
Bear, you
know that ol' Galvy doesn't store the matrix in his chest where it is
easily
accessible in a battle or prone to damage.  He is smart and puts it in his
weapon,
where it's toughest to get.  At any rate, Galvaschlong removes the
Decepticrum Matrix
and holds it with both hands.

     "Now, light OUR darkest..."

     A pair of laser shots stings Galvaschlong's hands, loosening his grip
of
the
matrix.  In turn the matrix begins to fall as it hurls behind him.
     Galvaschlong was equally puzzled and disturbed, and this time by
"disturbed" I
don't mean mentally.  Who could have shot him from up here, he wondered. 
It
couldn't
be an Autobotch, he reasoned, because Autobotches can't fly.  Well, all
but
Jetfibre,
Blasmos, Powderglide, Omega Souffle, Sky Jinx, and Springer, but none of
them
were in
this battle.  Then who could it be?
     Galvaschlong turned around.  To his utter surprise, behind him
towards
the
ground was the Decepticrum Matrix of Leadership, being held in the hands
of
none other
than... Ice Scream.  As for you, reading the story, that should be no
surprise.
     "Now I, Ice Scream, have the matrix!" he proclaimed.  "So now I have
ultimate
Decepticrum power!"  Ice Scream held the matrix in both hands, looking
around
to see
if anyone could blast the matrix out of his hands.  Satisfied, he opened
the
matrix,
enunciating each word carefully as if he was hooked on phonics for the
first
time.

     "Now, light, our, darkest..."  He stopped to think.
     "minute?  Yeah, minute!"

     With the matrix crystal fully exposed, the region was once again
subjected to
Stan Tush's "(You've Got) Not Much".  It was another dark hour for the
Autobotches,
but plot guidelines forbade more than one matrix to be simultaneously
open.
Something
about Dopplegangers, or something.
     Floptimus Crime reacted quickly.  He did what he did best, give an
order.
     "Crackknuckle, you know what to do."

EE EE AH AH OH!

     "Oh, no!" Ice Scream shouted to himself.  "Crackknuckle is a Triple
Changer. 
And he DEFORMED..."
     "Into a Matrix Eater!" Crackknuckle answered.
     Ice Scream was terrified at the sight: a mini-Autobotch-sized golden
metallic
Pac-Man with diamond-sharp diamond teeth.
     "Lunch!" shouted Crackknuckle.  Then he proceeded to chomp down on
the
Decepticrum Matrix until there was nothing left.  It took only a few
seconds.
     "BUUUUUUUURP!!!"
     Ice Scream stared despairingly into his empty hands, then said the
only
thing he
could think of.  "Decepticrums, retreat!"
     All the Decepticrums but Galvaschlong followed Ice Scream's cowardly
withdrawal.
     "Wait a minute!" said Galvaschlong.  "Decepticrums, re... oh, never
mind."  With
that he lagged behind the last Decepticrum.
     Floptimus Crime and the other Autobotches watched the fleeing
Decepticrums fly
until they became part of the horizon.  Their handi-capable (you have to
be
politically correct in prose or you can get into trouble) human friend,
Chimp
Chaste,
wheeled his way to the foot of Floptimus Crime.
     "Well, Crime," he said wishfully, "I guess we've seen the last of
Galvaschlong,
and his army, forever."
     "I only wish I could believe that," Crime answered.
     As night fell on New York City, the sun continued to shine on the
Decepticrums,
who had to fly three time zones to return to their underwater headquarters
in
the
Pacific.  As they flew over Las Vegas, Galvaschlong vowed angrily to
himself,
"I'll be
BACK!"

'uh End.


* ASCII Musical notation:

G-Clef       4 [[: C  C  %  % | E  E  %  % |
Key: Bb    4

3    | C  E  % | C  F  % | C  Gb  % | C  G  % :]]
8

b = Flat
% = Rest for 1 beat
[[:  :]] = Repeat

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