From nick.morency@buckys.com Wed Jan 17 19:08:14 1996 Received: from holonet.net (guardian.holonet.net [198.207.169.11]) by s-cwis.unomaha.edu (8.7.3/U.N.O.) with SMTP id TAA13648 for ; Wed, 17 Jan 1996 19:08:12 -0600 Received: from buckys (root@localhost) by holonet.net with UUCP id RAA27248; Wed, 17 Jan 1996 17:09:07 -0800 Received: by buckys.com (wcGATE v4) id 38413W Thu, 18 Jan 1996 00:00:47 GMT From: nick.morency@buckys.com (Nick Morency) Subject: Deformers: Leave it to Nightnerd, Part 5 Date: Wed, 17 Jan 1996 17:57:13 GMT Message-Id: <9601172000471550@buckys.com> Organization: *Bucky's BBS* (609)861-1131 To: sferree@s-cwis.unomaha.edu Status: OR Part 5. This was the good life, thought Raksha. Well, nearly a good life. The concept of sitting in giant hard metal chairs that cause your behind to ache was beyond her. Megaschlong entered Raksha's personal quarters. "So, are you enjoying yourself?" "Everything but the seats. Maybe you can get me some cushions." "I'll send Crumble right away." "The satellite system you hijacked from NASA is great! The only problem is that out of the 16.7 million channels, not one still airs Transformers anymore. Except the Sci-Fi Channel." "Isn't that what you're watching now?" "Yeah. This is a pretty good episode of The Twilight Zone, the one with the boy with the telekinetic and reality-altering powers." "Oh, yes. It's a Good Life." "So I've noticed." "Well, anything you want is yours, but don't forget: the squeaky gear gets the grease!" "I'll remember that." Megaschlong left the conversation and walked to the other end of the ship, to examine the progress being made to restore Nightnerd's memory. Entering the room, Bombsmell was busy rewiring the insides of Nightnerd, and Ice Scream was assisting, or more or less just observing. Megaschlong broke the silence in the room. "Bombsmell, give me a progress report." "Just repaired Nightnerd's hard drive, Megaschlong, Megaschlong. Now going to put her main memory in a six-speed CD ROM, ROM. This will increase her reaction time, action time." "Someone's got to adjust your speech circuitry, Bombsmell," Megaschlong said. That repeating the last part of what you say really gets on my nerves." "What do you mean, mean? I don't notice anything unusual, unusual." "Maybe there's a bug in it. Here, if I hit your side, maybe I'll fix some loose connection." Megaschlong slaped Bombsmell on the head. "Hey, don't use the word 'bug' so negatively to an Insecticrum, Insecticrum!" Ice Scream interjected. "It won't be long before Nightnerd's going to be a formidable force once again." "Coming from you, that means nothing," replied Megaschlong. "Hey, it's been a while since we've had some action. Lately this has been a lot of talking." "The sooner we get her operational, the sooner we'll have some action. But right now I'm going to my new temporary base of operations." "Another one? You build one every episode." "Nonetheless, as soon as this ninja is running, send her to my coordinates, and I'll give her the plan to ambush Autoblot Headquarters. I will be going now, but don't forget," said Megaschlong, raising a glass of gasoline to represent a toast, "we owe this opportunity to our new ally, Raksha!" Bombsmell continued to make connections on Nightnerd's motherboard, and within minutes, finished, closing the panels on her chest. "There, she's finished, finished. All I have to do is insert her memory, memory. Ice Scream, hand me the CD ROM marked "Nightnerd's Memory, version 2.0." Ice Scream walked to the accessory table and looked around. Peering around at the instruments, he noticed the CD ROM and lifted it to his chest. Turning around to be sure Bombsmell was not watching, he hid the CD in his chest compartment, and removed from it his own CD, a digital recording of Nancy Sinatra's These Boots Were Made for Walking. "Hurry up with that CD-ROM, ROM!" "Coming! Megaschlong's right about your voice." Bombsmell takes the CD and installs it into Nightnerd's CD-ROM drive. Nightnerd awakens with brightly glowing yellow eyes. She nodded as if to say, thanks for giving me a Pentium chip. "Hey," mused Ice Scream aloud, "isn't the Pentium processor the one with the mathematics glitch?" The next thing to enter Nightnerd's memory was: seven times two is 13.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999.. .