The city was Seoul, South Korea.

The event was the crowning of the USSR as the Gold Medal winners in the sport of basketball. The losses Team USA suffered at the hands of their opponents furthered the viewpoint that our collegiate amateurs cannot compete against the European teams when it comes to basketball. "But we have the best basketball players in the world", many Americans shouted. "How could we lose?"

THAT much WAS true - we DO have the best basketball players in the world. Our NBA stars, that is. How can any Greek, Italian, Yugoslavian, German, or Russian team compare to the likes of "Magic" Johnson, Larry Bird, Dr. J, Isiah Thomas, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and others? The truth was they simply couldn't compare to them at all. There was another truth surrounding this situation as well, and that was the fact that our professionals would not be allowed to compete in the Olympic games in any sport. And until this fact was changed, the above-mentioned players and others would never be given the chance to compete on a global scale or stage.

Then the arguments began. "Aren't the Greek using THEIR professionals?" "Don't the Italians consider their National team to be professional players?" "Aren't the East German female athletes allowed to use steroids to make them bigger and more competitive?" (Sorry. Wrong sport, gender AND topic.) "What about the Yugoslavians? Their players are looked upon as pros as well by their people, aren't they?"

The arguments met with receptive ears because as we move ahead to 1992 and Barcelona, Spain, the site of that year's Summer Olympics, we find that our basketball team is no longer made up of collegiate athletes hoping to make the pros, but instead is composed of OUR professionals, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, Karl Malone, Scottie Pippen, Chris Mullin, Clyde Drexley, John Stockton, and collegiate star Christian Laettner. Collectively, they were nicknamed 'The Dream Team'. The name stuck as the American team sent its opposition to bed early after each game. We got our point across. We also got the Gold Medal!

Fast forward to the present as I find myself skimming over a magazine cover stating how an Olympic Committee has cleared the way for our professional wrestlers to compete on the global stage as well! (Pause while the readers pick their collective jaws up from the floor, because you did indeed read this right.) Professional wrestlers from America are on their way to competing in the Olympic games! 'What brought this on', you might ask.

In a word, respect and money.

Sorry. That's two words.

The people who paved the way for our NBA stars to compete in Barcelona must still be patting themselves on the back. Imagine how the people behind the admittance of our pro wrestlers must be feeling, especially with professional wrestling enjoying more mainstream media attention now than ever before. The powers-that-be in the "Big Two" (mainly Vincent K. McMahon, Ted Turner, Eric Bischoff, and Vince Russo) must definitely be in 7th Heaven. The Olympic exposure will lead to more mainstream attention and to a more globally widespread viewing audience, which will hopefully lead to more people being interested in pro wrestling long after the Olympic games are history and more people who will watch the wrestling shows on television and buy the spin-off products like the cheesy T-shirts, coffee mugs, foam fingers, music CDs, etc.

And let's not forget how this will impact the wrestlers themselves, who are more than willing to prove that they are more than physically overblown actors surrounded by half-naked women. Among the wrestlers who, barring unforseen injuries, etc., will be scheduled to compete are 'Diamond' Dallas Page, Hulk Hogan, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, 'The Rock' Rocky Maivia, and others, including possibly The Undertaker (although the article I read did state they were unsure as to whether or not he would be allowed to use his trademark 'Tombstone' piledriver if he does compete). Imagine how this would impact their competition. If they believe any of the hype churned out here in the U.S. churned out by McMahon and Bischoff concerning their wrestlers, the American stars will have half the battle won before the matches even start!

Imagine, if you will:

• ...Ric Flair snapping some young Austrailian wrestler's legs like matchsticks with his trademark figure-four leglock.

• ...The Undertaker compressing the neck of the Slovenian star wrestler with his devestating 'Tombstone' piledriver.

• ...'The Macho Man' Randy Savage leaping from the announcer's table to deliver a fourth elbow smash to the already prone body of the young Greek hopeful.

• ...American relations with Canada becoming strained when translpanted Canadian Bret Hart ties up his British opponent's lower body like a pretzel in his 'Sharpshooter' leglock as sports analysts try to determine whether Hart is competing for the Canadian national team or the American national team.

• ...Sting getting jealous of the attention being given to Bret Hart and taking it out on his Japanese adversary with his Scorpion Deathlock.

• ...'The Rattlesnake', 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, adding more tension to our already fragile relationship with China (not to be confused with Chyna, the resident female bodybuilder of the WWF) by flipping the 'double-bird' at his beaten Chinese opponent and pouring a cold beer (tossed to him by a fan) all over the motionless body, while shouting a near-endless stream of obscenities at him throughout the post-match display. All of this, of course, is greated by a thundering cheer of "Hell, Yeah!!!" from the millions (and millions) of fans.

• ...those same millions (and millions) of fans cheering for 'The Rock' as he describes his German opponent's posterior as being composed of licorice, peppermints, and gumdrops (Well, I AM trying to be nice!), and later, soundly defeats him with help from the 'People's Elbow'.

• ...DDP receiving a "BANG" from the crowd as he rearranges the vertebrae and facial features of his Sweedish opponent with a 'Diamond Cutter'.

• ...Hulk Hogan spray-painting the back of his beaten Ukrainian foe and playing air guitar to the tune of Jimi Hendrix's "Voodoo Chile".

• ...Hulk Hogan cupping a hand to his ear and pointing to his fallen Iranian nemesis as the crowd screams for him while "Real American" blares in the background.

• ...Hunter Hearst Helmsley encouraging the crowd to shout a now familiar obscene phrase after he drives the face of his unfortunate Cuban nemesis through the mat with his 'Pedigree' maneuver.

If all of the above should happen, this will be one Olympic experience to remember for all time! If a few of these things were to happen, the Summer Olympics will finally be worth watching for a change. If only one of these things should happen, it will still be enough to keep me watching the Olympic games, if for no other reason but to see what would happen next. If none of these things should happen, the mainstream media attention will still be enough to help legitimize pro wrestling as a real sport.

Well, maybe that last sentence is still a bit of a stretch...

...but you have to admit that even having the wrestlers there alone is enough to help spur interest in the sport of wrestling. So, in the words of the immortal Freddie Miller, I urge you all to...

"...BEEEEEEE THEERREE!!!!"

I will!

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When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in ?

How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes ?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food ?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it ?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift ?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots ?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning ?

Why do they call them 'apartments' when they are stuck together?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing ?

How can someone ' draw a blank ' ?

If 7~11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors ?

Why are there floatation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes ?

At baseball games ~ why are they called stands instead of seats ?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane ?

Why do we drive on parkways, and park in driveways ?

Why is it when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume of the radio?

Why is it called a TV set, when you only get one ?