Now is that a way to respond to a person who is earnestly seeking employment? I mean, after all, you did spend all that time working on your resume, making sure it was typed 'just so', triple-checking it for any fatal spelling errors that would cause it to be thrown into someone's wastebasket in a crumpled heap, and you did take all that precious free time of yours to make sure you had enough personal references on your job application, thumbing through the phone book calling everyone you knew, asking them for permission to use their name as a reference, and (once you've received their permission, of course), quickly jotted down phone numbers and complete addresses, including zip codes, even if you're applying for a job in your same city, and you did take it to the nearest copying store and picked out just the right shade of yellow or goldenrod to have it copied (and some of you more industrious types even made up to 50 copies or more so no one would be left out), and you did spend nearly half your savings on all those postage stamps you needed to mail them, despite the fact the postage rate seems to go up each year.

And just how are you rewarded for all your diligence and hard work?

Your phone doesn't ring, or if it does, you're left feeling like you've won the booby prize on 'Let's Make A Deal'.

You don't receive word from the companies you've sent resum´e;s to, or if you do, you're left feeling as though you've won a year's supply of Uncle Ben's rice on 'The Price Is Right'.

So, what's a person to do?

I know what I did. Feeling low and despondent, I went to the one person I knew would have the right answer, the ONE person whose opinion I trusted more than any other, the ONE person I knew who could shed light on this subject and make sense out of the whole thing....

My Dad.

I had made up my mind that I would seek the advice of the Great Guru. I set off on my uphill journey in my beat up Buick LeSabre, determined not to come back down until I had my answer. When I found him, I told him that my job hunt was going pretty lousy. I told him about all the resumes I sent out and all of the applications I filled out. I told him about the books I bought to help me with my searches and resumes. I showed him the paper I used to print up my resumes on. I even told him about my visit to the local employment office and how I spoke with the VA representative there. Even that turned up empty.

Then he asked me what did I put on my job applications. I told him about the references, the past employment, the requested salary, even the infamous 'Why I Feel Like I Should Be Given This Job' questions. I felt as if I knew where he was going with this. There must have been some answer I overlooked, maybe I gave too high a figure for the 'salary requested' space, or forgot a ZIP code for the addresses of my references. As I answered his questions, I was also racking my brain to find out what, if anything, I missed. I came up, of course, with nothing, because in my mind, I did everything right. But I still hadn't heard my Dad give an answer just yet. I waited earnestly for an answer from the 'Great Guru' himself, the 'Old Wise One', the family patriarch. And just as centuries before when mankind went to the mountaintop wilderness for the answers, the answer I got floored me.

Oh, sure! That HAD to be it! I just put too much information on the application. When they asked for my name, SSN, references, past employment, etc. on the applications, what I actually gave them was my name..., SSN..., my... references..., and my... past employment...?

Wait A Minute!

I only put what the application asked for! I put all the information in the right place - no more, no less!

'O Wise One, please explain to me how I put too much information on the applications.'

'But, isn't that what the application asks for?'

'But, O Wise One....'

Well, by now, not only did he have me question all that I did, but he also made me very angry. "You mean to tell me that to get a job here in this stinkin' town I have to be nothing, know nothing, and not have any plans to do anything in the future? I have to know nothing, be nothing, and not want to do anything? I have to act like I'm a complete nothing to get a job - is that what you're saying?"

That's what I would have said had I not been so mad. But instead, I held my peace, let his words linger in my head... and promptly blew up on my way back home. I was proud of what I had accomplished both in and out of school and I had no problems letting any possible future employer know it. 'Why do I have to pretend like I'm an idiot just to get a job? I'm no dummy and my applications and resume prove it. Check it out! Call the references! Check my history! Go for it! I'll be at home waiting for your calls!'

But they never came. If it weren't for the occasional odd job, one-day temp assignment through various temporary agencies, and taxicab driving, I would have been completely penniless. In fact, after nearly two years of constant job searching, I never received one single phone call! All of the letters I received said basically the same thing - 'We'll keep your application/resume on file and we'll call you if we need you.' I had just about given up hope completely until I was hired by the Postal Service.

I was finally making money, SERIOUS money, and things were starting to look up, but I never forgot that conversation with my dad all those years ago. It came full circle a few days ago when I overheard a conversation between a couple of co-workers, with one lady discussing why her son couldn't find a job. The second co-worker asked if he was having problems filling out the applications correctly, to which the former answered, "...the problem is that he puts too much information on his applications. The people [prospective employers] see all of the clubs and activity groups he belongs to and they won't hire him. I tried to tell him that they won't hire someone if they feel he/she will always be wanting time off for club meetings or special activities. They'd just as soon hire someone else...."

Now the old conversation I had with my dad nearly ten years ago was starting to make sense. That's why I was never called back for interviews in the past! That's why I was never hired for any of those other jobs! They were afraid I'd never make the time for work and always ask for time off! That's what my Wise Guru never explained to me! Man, if I'd only known THAT from the very beginning....

Then, a new revelation hit me, just about as hard as the first one.

For instance, a supervisor may spot something in his/her workers that may be looked upon as detrimental to morale or job performance and decide to take steps to correct it. These steps can range from instituting a dress code to changing the times workers may leave to take breaks to deciding to mandatory or limit overtime hours given to workers. For the workers who can adjust to change well, these and other changes in policy may not seem like a big deal. For others, being able to take a coffee break at a certain time may mean a lot. For others, a change in the overtime policy may mean the difference between a worker being able to buy a family member or loved one that certain special gift or having a certain amount of free time to spend with that same family member or loved one, depending upon the worker's point of view. The worker described by the latter may find it stressful dealing with these changes and, depending upon the situation, decide to rebel against the new policy. This is only a short-term solution that can only lead to repercussions from management, which means the worker is still left frustrated.

Now what?

Well, unless you have a good union or can prove that the policy changes are illegal or go against any contract agreement, there's not much the worker can do but accept it. Most workers eventually will accept the new changes, but there's always the possibility of one or two workers who will see the changes as threats to the comfort zone they've built up at work. These workers will harbor the most resentment towards their bosses.

Now, on management's part, an occasional change or two may not rock the boat too much on the job, but for supervisors who try to "reinvent the wheel" by making policy changes on a daily basis, don't be surprised if you find there's a mutiny being planned by the workers! You will not be a very popular person within the ranks of the workers. This goes double for brand new supervisors who come in as outsiders with the notion that they can solve all the problems on your job, without even taking the time to listen to the worker's ideas or suggestions. These supervisors, the megalomaniacs, the ones with the 'God complex', will be the ones who will find themselves the targets of most of the animosity and hatred the workers have built up. These supervisors will be the ones to hear the most jeers throughout the workday. They will also hear the most cheers from the masses when they finally fall from the pedestals they've built for themselves.

(I know. I have such a supervisor. He's been demoted somewhat [HOO-RAY!!], but unfortunately, he's still around [@$%#&%!!]. More on that later.)

But until the fall occurs, we, the workers, must put up with them, that is, until their downfall can be engineered. (This isn't to say that all workers are out to get their supervisors. True, some workers are out to hang their bosses, while other bosses need no help to hang themselves - they bring their own rope and horse and even plant the tree they'll hang themselves from!) In the meantime, whatever anger a worker may have towards the boss must either be channel into something constructive, or supressed completely. If you choose to harness that energy, use it to somehow better your efforts on the job. If this cannot be done, use this angry energy and, say, go to a gym either during a break or after hours. Plant a garden, maybe. Build something at home (preferably something non-explosive -- bombs are a NO-NO). Do something to channel that energy into something useful. I wouldn't suggest supressing it totally unless there was no other choice. Doing so is akin to blowing air into a balloon. You'll find that you may be able to hold in a little bit more, and a little bit more, and a little bit more, and a little bit more, and a little bit more..., until you finally blow. The Postal Service no longer coners the market on workers who snap and go on killing sprees at work. Recent news events bear this out. It can happen to anyone in any industry and, quite often, innocents may find themselves victims to a rampage by a disgruntled employee.

For those of you who feel you have reached this point at work, please do something about it now! Some employers offer counseling to employees dealing with job-related stress. Workers that are without this option may find it necessary to seek professional help on the outside. I'm not sure whether these priviate counseling sessions are covered by most insurance providers, but it may well be worth the cost. Remember, your boss isn't going to be the person to get reprimanded if you lose your temper on the job. Therefore, it's up to you to control your own anger and emotions at work. Keep your temper in check at all costs! Who knows? You just may be rewarded one day by seeing your boss make that one mistake that ends up getting him thrown out on his [butt].

Wouldn't that put a smile on your face?

The only major drawbacks to the present situation are these:

• She doesn't appear to be very confident in her position. While she has the ability to make command decisions and the courage to stick to them, it appears as if she's looking over her shoulder constantly, as if she's the one in the hot seat with the Sword of Damocles hanging over her head.
  Then again, maybe she does.

• The newly-demoted supervisor is still on the job as assistant supervisor. As long as he's there, he will have her attention more than the workers. This will always spell trouble for the workers. If she allows herself to become a mouthpiece, a puppet, to himm then we're no better off than we were before. I, for one, hope that doesn't happen, for her sake as well as for my co-workers and myself. If it does, we may have to prepare for a double-hanging.

I'll bring the popcorn!

2. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

3. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

4. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

5. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

6. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

7. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

8. A woman's favorite position is CEO.

9. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

10. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

11. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

12. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

13. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

14. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

15. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

16. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

17. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?