Well, since I really just got started on this section, there really aren't a lot, and they're kinda brief - but I will update (not as frequently as the news, though)

 

WHAT DREAMS MAY COME

Grade: D+

I had been following this movie on the web for quite a while, tracking it's progress, seeing how it was doing and so forth. When I first saw the poster outside my ylocal movie theater, I was nothing short of simply "blown away." The movie looked just my type. A fantasy, myth-oriented Robin Williams flick

 

When I finally got there, however, I was incredibly disappointed. Yes, as you've all heard, the visual effects are incredible. The whole movie is just a painting, and nothing short of that. Everything that was great about it, however, stopped there.

 

The story revolves around one Chris Nielsen, who, with his wife, Annabella Sciorra have built a happy relationship built on sweat and tears. They had previously met in Italy, but that's another story. What they don't know, is that they are really "soul mates." That means something, which I cannot explain to you, primarily because I don't think the creators of the movie knew either. Anyway, by the time the opening credits are over, their kids are killed in a horrible crash. Within another 5 minutes, Chris Nielsen dies.

 

Anyway, Chris, after a short ghost-like existence (he gets to watch his funeral) goes to the most disappointing and depressing version of heaven that I have ever seen. You get there, and the world you inhabit is rather lonely. Sure, you get whatever you want, but Chris then had to make a serious effort to see his kids, who, stupidly, had chosen other guises for themselves in the "society" of heaven. Anyway, half the movie also consists of pointless flashbacks to Nielsen's life, which just bores you.

 

Nielsen then finds out that his wife as committed suicide from his former College professor, Albert. Albert is played rather poorly by Cuba Gooding Jr. He then decides to journey into hell to rescue his wife, after being told both that it is impossible but possible for him to do this. Thank you, I am now sufficiently confused.

 

He then goes into hell, with the aid of a "Tracker" played my Maximillian von Sydow. Now, throughout this movie - there are inumberable climatic scenes that we're supposed to care about but really don't. First, we learn that Cuba Gooding Jr. is actually his son in a different guise, that this oriental woman is really his daughter, and the "tracker" is really Albert. Finally, in a confusing and pointless scene, Chris is able to bring Annie, his wife back to heaven, in which they decide to become reincarnated. And now, for a digital raspberry.

THHBHTHBPPTPBPHTPHBHPPBPT!!!!!

Thank you, What Dreams May Come, but you score a rather modest D+, and not an "F" simply because of the digital effects. I don't recognize this movie, unless, of course, you're deaf.

 

ANTZ: Grade: C

Why does this visually impressive movie get a "C?" Because I personally don't like the new Woody Allen. True, his books and previous films were great, but I just don't like him anymore. He was just simply annoying in this movie about the ant colony.

The movie features Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone as well, who fair well, but I don't really want to elaborate on this review simply because when I see a Bug's Life, I'll review that. Antz stole the plot of Disney's movie, and deserves discredit just for that. Sorry Antz, but Dreamworks needs to get some "dreams" of its own.

 

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