*wince* "First it's giant mutant Smurfs, now it's Vulcans...I quit!"
-Jamie St. James, upon awakening to his Changeling heritage and seeing Trolls and Sidhe, respectively
"You look up...and look up...and look up."
-The ST's standard way of introducing Sir Jenner Rainwater, an eight foot-tall Troll knight, to new players
"Oh, look...the big rock just turned to mud!"
-Gecko, in a previous incarnation as an Arcadian Eshu, at Jenner holding an infant Valeria for the first time
"'Screwed, blued and tattooed in Tijuana' --- who knows?"
-Gecko, wondering on what Jenner's vambraces were hiding ("Scars? Brands? Rude tattoos?")
"I am not a Smurf---got it? Good!"
-Unseelie Troll Victor Donatelli, on Jamie's term for Trolls
"If you see a compulsive gambler playing 'Go Fish' with an Ogre, you might be playing Changeling!"
-Gecko's player, on Jamie's actions while in an Unseelie freehold
"Let me see your cards..."
-Jamie, during the aforementioned game of "Go Fish" (maintainer's note: the Ogre then handed Jamie his cards! :-)
"My name's Duncan...last name, Donuts."
-Jamie, putting on airs inside the country club/Unseelie freehold
"His Excremency."
-Gecko's nickname for "the commoner's friend," Count Sean MacNevin ("Count Troll-Hater"?)
"Mistress of the Obvious."
-Gecko's nickname for Baroness Alioth of House Ailil (re, a conversation between Alioth and Alan in the Unseelie freehold: "You're a goat...")
"Would you like to live up to your name?"
-Alan, to Fianna Theurge Alyssa Friend-to-the-Fae, during his attempt to help the Garou increase their population at a Fianna moot
"The sofa doesn't match the drapes..."
"So?"
-Conversation between Jamie and Alan, re, Jamie finding Alan and Valeria in a delicate position
"The Smurfs are mating..."
-Jamie, to Gecko and Valeria, on Sigrid Thorsdattir's method of distracting an Unseelie Troll in the country club
"That's a Royal Flush, Sean...so flush that royal!"
-Jamie, observing the winning hand he dealt Jenner, after convincing the angry Troll to wager the Shadow Court Sidhe's continued existence upon a turn of the cards
"Had Smurfs gone a different way in genetics, that would be me."
-Reidar, upon seeing Gecko for the first time
"It's not a hard job, just a messy one. But you feel stupid, 'cause you punched the wall."
-Reidar, arriving at Val, Jenner and Sigrid's house to fix the wall he'd previously punched a hole in
"Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of warm, fuzzy feelings there."
-Reidar's sarcastic comment, re, Jenner's comments about House Ailil
"Run for your life---it's Kate Moss!"
-Reidar's player, re, Gecko's player's description of Sluagh
"You, Jenner, and Val? That's seven people."
-Jamie, to Sigrid, following her reassurances after he expressed doubt as to there being only three people providing security for His Grace's play
"Let's lock horns."
-Reidar, coming on to the Unseelie Satyr, Siva
"Do you know what you're doing?"
"No, but I don't think that it really matters..."
-Conversation between Jamie and Reidar, re, Reidar's promise to "have fun" with Siva (the Satyr dominatrix)
"I guess that this gives a whole new meaning to 'blue balls', huh?"
-Gecko's player, re, Reidar and Siva
"What happened to you?"
"A horny Satyr...no pun intended."
-Conversation between Jenner and Reidar following Reidar's evening with Siva
"Oh, look---it's the jolly blue giant."
-Emily Hart, SilverWood's Nocker smithy, giving her standard greeting to Jenner (to the surprise of newcomer Kyle McConaughey)
"She does have redeeming features."
"Breasts don't count."
-Alan and Lady Ylanna of House Fiona, on Kit, the Unseelie Wilder Pooka thief
"What the HELL have I been sleeping with?!?"
-Gecko, upon seeing Kyle (the Metis Celican and her current bed partner) transform
"Yaaayyy!"
-Ylanna's player, upon the (Final) death of Malkavian Paul Simon
"You know how some people might be intimidated by the people around here wearing swords and armor and the like?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, suffice it to say that Emily has that kind of effect on machines."
-Conversation between Ylanna and Kyle, on why the truck Emily lent him ran so well
"Oh, yes...the one I liked at first sight, and disliked at first hearing."
-Ylanna, on Unseelie Eshu Ysolde Nyx
"Have you been adding to your copy of the Kama Sutra lately?"
-Ylanna's player, upon hearing about what Gecko could do with Kyle using both Squirm and the Double-Jointed Merit
"This plotline involves the three Changeling food groups: Glamour, adventure, and romance."
-Ylanna's player, on a development in the Chronicle's plot
"That'd be cheating."
-Haunt, Nocker bicycle messenger, on why he doesn't add an engine to his bike
"When it goes at light speed, maybe then it'll be fast enough!"
-Haunt's player, on his character's bicycle
"Owing Ysolde is like owing the Mafia."
-Troll guardsman Sir Darius Stormfront, on everyone's favorite Eshu information broker
"What else do Trolls do in a Freehold? PaTROLL!"
-Darius's player, when asked by another player what the Troll knight was doing
"Picture it: you have a Sidhe holding a shotgun, and a Troll holding a Redcap."
"'Pull!' says the Sidhe."
-Darius's player and the ST, coming up with ways to dispose of annoying Redcaps
"The blue-skinned body-builder of doom."
-Darius's player's tongue-in-cheek method of describing his character
"It's misbehaving a third time---it's time to pull out the tools!"
-Haunt's player, on Pol's bicycle (and the Nocker's Chimerical toolbox)
"Do you know what this conversation is about?"
"No."
"Better to keep it that way!"
-Conversation between Haunt's player and Darius's player on the scene where the relationship between Alan and Pol is revealed
"If you go to Ysolde for information, you're screwed, but you're safe. If she comes looking for you, then you're in trouble."
-Ylanna's player on the Chronicle's resident Eshu information broker
"Alan gave Alyssa a present."
"Uh-huh; I probably delivered it."
"No...it won't be delivered for a while yet."
"Oh. Then I guess I won't be delivering it."
-Conversation between Jenner and Haunt, re, Alan's gift to Alyssa Friend-to-the-Fae
"We are not amused."
"We are."
-Conversation between Lady Melisande and His Grace, re, the revelations of Alan's paternity and the reactions of the Sidhe to such
"Oh, let the Trolls have their fun. They get to do it so rarely."
-Haunt, remarking upon the betting pool Jenner, Sigrid and Darius started up regarding Alan's descendants
"They cheat...they use motors."
-Haunt, on the subway
"Nobody ever tells me anything."
"I feel the same way."
-Conversation between Niall and Raphael, re, both of them being kept in the dark ("For their own protection." :-)
"Master of the Oblivious."
-Gecko's player's nickname for Wayland
"'Yes, I'm a tree. Laugh, and I'll pound you.'"
-Ylanna's player, quoting Jenner's reactions to some of the characters' comments
on his Halloween costume (chosen by Valeria -- a green tunic with colored rhinestones
and small swords, and brown trousers, representing the Tree of Swords and Jewels
[from C.J. Cherryh's fantasy novel])
"Don't worry---this one's only morally dead."
-Ylanna, on Rahne, after tying the Unseelie Gwydion up and dragging her through the mud following the battle of Samhain
"Want a hand?"
"No, thank you---I have four."
-Gecko, offering Ylanna the severed hand of a Shadow Court Fae, and Ylanna's reply while holding a bound and gagged Rahne of House Gwydion
"We should grace His Grace with our presence."
-Darius's player, re, our heroes being summoned to an audience with Duke Arislan following the events of Samhain
"I want to ask Jenner some questions, but I think it's best that I get him drunk first. That way, he'll probably miss when he takes a swing at me for asking something I shouldn't have."
-Ylanna, to Darius, discussing her plan to learn more about the revelations of Samhain from Jenner
"There's always a good reason for yelling at Jenner---you're stupid!"
Haunt, re, Elspeth's statement that Wayland "yelled at Jenner for no good reason."
"If the Dreaming wants to tell me something, it should just tell me, instead of locking me up in Cold Iron!"
-Haunt, on his recent dream
"Aeslinn got chewed out."
"Hey, being chewed out's better than being chewed on---just ask Wayland."
-Coversation between Alan and Haunt, re, Countess Aeslinn's ill-fated attempt to "liberate" Raye's balefire, and Wayland's fate at the hands of Ed the Ogre
"She has a good side."
"Yes...she keeps it in a jar in her bedroom."
-Alan and Ylanna, on Ysolde Nyx
"Favors from a Satyr usually involve somebody getting screwed."
-Alan's player, making light of his character's Kith's proclivities
"Satyr-in-the-Middle."
-The ST's tongue-in-cheek return to Darius's player's description of the motley's order into the Asylum Danceclub (Jenner, Val, Alan, Ylanna and Darius)
"It's a good substitute for a leash."
Darius's player, re, "Satyr-in-the-Middle"
"What's he doing---playing 'musical Houses'?"
-Ylanna, re, Valeria's revelations that Sean MacNevin ap Ailil posed as a Gwydion before he was revaled as a member of the Shadow Court, and the incident in a dream wherein he posed as an Eiluned
"Yeah, Wayland'll be a Duke---just as soon as I make it with Scathach."
-Alan, re, Wayland in his Arcadian incarnation impersonating a Duke, and the characters' meeting with the Triple Goddess
"Satyr Claus"
-Alan's player, re, his character's Santa hat-clad high-jinks at the Yule festivities
"Do you hear thunder?"
"Yes---it's a Stormfront."
-A lighthearted exchange between Alan and Darius at the Yule party, following the Trolls' laughter being heard
"Valeria doesn't like her."
"That's all right, dear. Ylanna doesn't like her either."
-Conversation between Elspeth and Ylanna, re, Ysolde Nyx
"It'll be all right---we just have to hold them off until dawn."
"Sure...right. It's only nine-thirty now...that's just eight hours."
-Ylanna and Darius, re, The Wild Hunt
"It's okay---you weren't yourself just then."
"Well, I was...but that's another story..."
-Conversation between Darius and Black Fury Philodox Shakti True-Strike, re, Shakti responding to the call of the Wild Hunt in Crinos form
"The Childlings are nestled all snug in their beds, with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads."
-The ST describing the aftermath of the Yule festivities (with apologies to Clement C. Moore :-)
"With most people, it's 'One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.' With the Trolls, it's more like, 'One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four; five tequila, six tequila, seven tequila...more?!?"
-Darius's player, describing the actions of the heavily-drinking Trolls at Dion's wake
"Anybody got a razor? I need to shave my tongue."
-A hung-over Darius on the morning after Dion's wake
"Why don't you find some cover? I'll join you."
-Alan in a previous incarnation, to Childling Ylanna, during the battle of Whitewater in the Accordance War
"I've seen someone who resembles Ylanna..."
-Darius, re, the Fiona knight's new choice in wardrobe (black leather and duct tape), after being asked if he'd seen her lately
"I am Malcolm McGrath."
"Good for you."
-Malcolm introducing himself to Ylanna, and the fatalistic Fiona's response
"Porno flicks?"
"Hey, those tapes are sealed!"
-Conversation between Ylanna and Malcolm after the Satyr revealed he was an actor
"I guess he's having one of those days."
"Isn't everyone?"
-Alan and Ylanna, on Duke Arislan's reversion to his Unseelie Legacy
"It's okay, Alan. I've got your Thorazine right over here."
-Ylanna, after watching Alan play the "emotional Satyr" and the "unworthy commoner" to the hilt with Countess Aeslinn
"When a Troll twitches, things break!"
-Darius's player, explaining why he was glad his character wasn't there during the revelations of what Valeria went through in the dungeons of House Balor
"No dueling in the house, kids!"
-Alan's player's interpretation of Lady Melisande's outraged halt to a number of people challenging Squire Wayland ("There will be no dueling without sanction of His Grace, if not Her Majesty!")
"A Boggan with an overactive pituitary gland and a whole lot of plastic surgery."
-The ST and Darius's player's term for the previously played version of Squire Wayland of House Dougal
"Ignore the big blue man behind the curtain!"
-Darius's player, on the Troll holding up one of the sets during a performance at the Avalon Theatre (with apologies to The Wizard of Oz)
"Enlighten us with your wisdom, O Horny One."
-Darius, to Alan, on the Satyr giving advice to the rest of the motley
"I wonder where she got her outfit."
"I don't know...a cow, a knife, and some duct tape?"
-Conversation between Pol and Haunt, re, Unseelie Ylanna's choice of wardrobe
"Do you like doing dishes?"
"Not at all."
-Conversation between Pol and Haunt after Alan's dinner party
"It could be the greatest craftsmanship in the world, but if it's attached to that moron, it doesn't make any difference!"
-Haunt, on Wayland's new prosthetic silver arm
"Effort? You think it'd really take effort?"
-Haunt, re, Jenner nearly strangling Malcolm for making a comment on the Troll knowing the dungeons of House Ailil so well, and Jenner muttering that it wasn't worth the effort after calming down
"In this corner, we have the daughter of the Warlord, Captain of the Guard, and all-around kick-ass fighter, Lady Valeria. And in this corner, we have the one-armed, Ogre-munched Squire Wayland. Bets?" (Pause) "Didn't think so."
-Haunt, re, Wayland challenging Valeria to a duel
"I've made Wayland's travel arrangements. He'll be traveling first class---Air Freight."
-Raphael, after Wayland was made Baron of the Realm of the Frozen Wastes after trying to cheat by drugging Valeria in their duel
"Why don't you just tell me about every traumatic event that's happened to you? That way, I can be prepared when I go to sleep!"
-Darius, to Jenner, re, the dreams the motley have been experiencing (in most of which Jenner played a prominent role)
"Your loss."
"No...my honor."
-Moira and Lady Gabriella Dawntreader, on Gabriella's decision to align herself with the Seelie Court
"More of a pain in the neck than Malcolm?"
-Gabriella's response to Darius's description of vampires as "pains in the neck."
"You want to feel the wind through your horns."
-Gabriella's player, on Darius's car being a convertible
"Why does he always get us in trouble?"
-Darius on Malcolm
"Well, that was easier on my checkbook."
-Darius, after Ysolde Nyx requested a night with Malcolm as payment for information
"You are overrated."
-Ysolde, to Malcolm, following their night together
Midori M. Hirtzel
elspeth@localnet.com
https://members.tripod.com/~SilverWood/dream/Quotes.html