Worth Waiting For                                   

A sharp, shrill sound punctured a hole the blanket of silence
that had wrapped Ryan Stiles in sleep. Blearily, he wiped at
eyes that protested the rude awakening. Throwing his hand across
his chest, he reached for the object the obnoxious noise was
coming from...his telephone.


"H'llo?" he groused into the receiver. Whoever it was better
had a damn good reason for waking him out of a sound sleep.


"Ryan, how are you, buddy?"


It took more than a couple of seconds before Ryan could actually
put a name with the voice. "Colin?" he asked with surprise. The
surprise quickly turned to annoyance when he glanced at the digital
clock at his bedside. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"


There was a long pause. "Um...looks like three A.M to me," came
Colin's slightly slurred response. 


Ryan shook his head. "What do you want at this hour, Col?"


"I...I need a ride home, can you give me one?" Colin asked
with hesitation.


Ryan frowned in concern. "What happen to your car?" The comedian
sat up straighter in bed and switched hands as a thought occurred
to him. "You weren't in an accident were you?" Ryan could have
sworn he heard a softly muttered 'I only wish'.


"No, no accident," Colin Mochrie quickly assured his long-time
friend. "I...well...it's kinda embarrassing actually."


"What Col, just tell me," Ryan demanded into the phone.


"I'm at O'Riley's and they took my keys away, said I had too
much to drink. Can you believe that?" the Canadian asked 
indignantly.


Now Ryan was even more concerned. Colin wasn't the type to go
overboard on his drinking. Something was going on. "Stay there
and I'll be there to pick you up in about twenty minutes, all
right?"


"Sure," Colin responded. "And Ryan...thanks," he said in a 
barely audible voice.


As soon as Ryan hung up the phone, he rushed around the house. 
Picking up a pair of cotton pants he'd discarded earlier, he 
climbed into them and then found a shirt that would serve the 
purpose. Grabbing the keys to his car, he slammed the door
behind him.


The light early morning traffic made it easy for Ryan to maneuver 
the streets and get to the bar he wanted in more than a timely
fashion, making it there in half the time he thought it would
take him with the help of a heavy foot on the execrator. 


Parking quickly, he made his way inside the ill-lit, foul-smelling
establishment. Most of the time this place wasn't such a dive,
but considering the hour, only the unsavory and hard-core 
drinkers seemed to be left to sporadically fill the place.


Even with the dim lighting, it wasn't hard for Ryan to spot
Mochrie, as his friend was one of the few filling the stools
at the bar. Walking up behind his friend, Ryan lightly laid
his hands on Colin's shoulders and was surprised when Colin
nearly jumped at the touch.


"Ryan, I didn't see you come in," Colin explained after turning
around. 


Though Ryan was greeted with a smile, he could tell it was
only a pale imitation of the real thing. It didn't meet Colin's
hazel eyes. He squeezed the shorter man's shoulders. "Well,
I'm here, so let's go." With a quick glance, Ryan noticed
more than a couple of shot glasses and several empty beer
glasses resting in front of his friend. "Maybe we can stop
somewhere and get some coffee." Ryan took out his wallet
and laid a twenty next to the empties, certain it would
be enough to cover the other comedian's tab.


Colin got up and grabbed his coat without comment and stood up.
Taking a couple of steps, he faltered and Ryan caught him.


"Easy there, Col," Ryan murmured, slipping the leather jacket
over Colin's shoulders. Colin shook off the hold.


The taller man followed close behind the blond as he steered
Colin towards the car.


"I don't want to go home," Colin said, once settled into the
passenger's side.


Ryan's brow furrowed. "Why not?"


"Look, can we just not talk about it right now, all right?"
Colin asked, sinking into the leather bucket seat.


"Hey, you're the one who called me, remember?" Ryan snapped,
jamming his key into the ignition and throwing the car into
gear.


"Well I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to call. Drew wasn't 
home, so I tried you. Didn't mean to wake you up," Colin replied, 
his apology not sounding all that sincere. 


"Well...you know...for something like this, I don't mind that
much," Ryan granted, giving the man next to him a sideways
glance. "So...if you don't want to go home, where to then?"


"I don't know, anywhere, I don't care. Just as long as it's not
back home," Colin declared.



Ryan noticed the moonlight casting a pale light over his friend's
wan features. Obviously the other man needed some time to collect 
his thoughts and while he couldn't help Colin with that, at 
least he could offer his long-time friend a place of refuge. 
"All right, we're going to my place then."


"Ryan, I don't want to put you out. Drop me off at a hotel or 
something," Colin insisted.


Ryan glanced over at him. "You're not putting me out, you should
know that by now. I want you to stay," he pressed, settling the
issue for good.


"What about Trisha and the kids?" Colin asked softly. 


"They're spending a week at my sister's," Ryan replied. "And
you're not putting me out," he reaffirmed.


The rest of the ride was in silence. Ryan wanted to give Colin
his space, hoping it would bring him closer to sharing whatever
had happened that had affected him so profoundly. Colin seemed
content with the silence that was only broken by the sound of
the radio playing a soft tune.


When Ryan reached his home again, he still said nothing as he 
unlocked the door and let Colin enter. Ryan walked past the 
blond and into the kitchen to start making some coffee. When 
he came back with two steaming cups, he saw Colin slumped on 
his couch, head down and arms resting on his legs.


Ryan held one of the cups out. "So what's going on?"


When Colin looked up, his hazel eyes glistened when they met 
Ryan's. "She's left me, Ryan, she actually left me."


Ryan blinked a couple of times and sunk onto the sofa next to 
the older man. "Deb?" he asked quietly.


"Yeah," Colin choked out. 


"What happened?" Ryan asked, the disbelief evident in his voice.


"It was that damn gym she was going to," Colin spat. "She ended
up meeting this lawyer there. Daniel Witmire...that's what 
she said his name was." Colin's voice quavered, but he went 
on. "Said she'd been seeing him for four months now. Can you 
believe that? Four months and I didn't have a clue. God, I 
must have been stupid or blind or... something."


Ryan stared into his friend's pain-filled eyes. He couldn't 
believe what he'd been told. Deb had always seemed like she 
loved Colin. They'd been through a lot together over the years
and though times had been rocky, they'd always hung in there
to make it work.


"She said she loves him, wants a divorce so she can marry him,"
Colin said in a voice so hushed that Ryan had to strain to hear 
it.


"Are you going to give it to her?" Ryan found himself asking.


"Why try to fight it? If she doesn't want to be with me anymore,
I certainly can't make her stay," Colin stated wearily. "In fact,
she's already moved in with him."


"What about Luke?" Ryan had to ask, knowing how much Colin 
loved his son.


"I...I don't know yet," Colin whispered. "It's happened so 
fast, we haven't even really talked about that yet. Luke's 
staying with her right now and she said I'd have half custody 
and full visitation rights." Colin's hazel eyes sought out
Ryan's. "What am I going to do?"


Without taking conscious note of it, Ryan slid his arms around
the other man's hunched shoulders and drew him near. "For
starters, you're going to take a shower and get a decent night's
sleep." Tomorrow he'd call a lawyer of his own that he knew
well. He'd do everything in his power to make sure Deb's new
lover didn't try something to screw Colin out of his rights 
with Luke.


Ryan left only long enough to rummage around in his bedroom
dresser and return with a pair of black silk pajamas over
his arm. He tossed them over to Colin. 


"Here you go, they might be a little large on you, but they 
should work," Ryan said. "You know where the bathroom is."


Colin grabbed the silks. "Thanks," Colin whispered. "For
everything."


Ryan just shrugged it off and mumbled, "No problem."


After Colin disappeared into the bathroom, Ryan waited until 
he heard the sound of water running. He then changed back into
his own dark blue silk pajamas and gathered up some blankets
and a pillow for when he pulled his sofa out to make it into
a bed.


Noticing there was a slight chill in the air, Ryan decided to 
put his fireplace to use and lit a glowing fire after making 
sure the flue was cleared out. He was just putting the cast 
iron gating back in front of it when a thought occurred to him.


"Hey, Colin? When was the last time you ate?" he called out 
loudly to be heard over the rushing water. The lengthy pause
that came as his answer let Ryan know Colin probably hadn't
thought of such rudimentary things like eating lately. "Never
mind, I'll fix us something."


Padding barefoot into the kitchen, Ryan opened the refrigerator
to see what he could find. In amongst some old pizza, some cold
fried chicken and something unidentifiable in foil, he managed
to find some beef stew. Pulling out the container, he spooned
some into a pan on the stove and began to heat it up. He also 
cut off a couple of hunks of Trisha's homemade bread on the 
counter. Topping off each of their coffee cups, Ryan also 
gave allowance of adding a shot of brandy in each one. He 
figured tonight it wouldn't hurt to take the edge off. Finally,
he sliced a couple of apples and heated a small bowel of honey
for them before pilling all the food onto a tray and carrying
it into the living room.


Colin was now seated in front of the sofa, knees drawn up to 
his chest, looking into the fire in front of him. He turned
his head and lifted an eyebrow when he saw the food Ryan was
baring. 


"You expecting Roseanne Bar or something?" Colin asked, no 
trace of a smile.


Ryan didn't smile either. "You haven't eaten all day, have 
you?" He only got a guilty look in response. "I didn't think 
so. Eat up, then we can get some sleep."


Sitting the tray on the floor near their feet, Ryan sat beside 
his friend. Closing his eyes for a moment, he let the heat 
from the fire warm his skin. When he opened them again, he 
found Colin, not having the energy to protest, sipping on a 
bowl of the stew. Each ate in silence.


Ryan watched with satisfaction as the soup and bread both
disappeared and Colin began on the apple slices. He couldn't
help noticing the fine lines etched around his friend's eyes,
the shadows flickering within the translucent glow of the
flickering flames. The older man was starting to show his age, 
looking ashen and tired. God, how he longed to see that face
lit up with that soft smile Colin could have. He couldn't even
remember the blond comedian ever looking like this before.
Even though he made a living out of making people laugh, he
found himself at a loss at how to comfort his friend when it
actually counted. 


"Maybe it's better off this way," Colin murmured, dunking a
chunk of apple into the honey and bringing up to his mouth to 
bite into.


"What? What are you talking about?" Ryan asked, sipping on the 
last of his coffee.


Colin shrugged. "Maybe she just sensed what I didn't want to
admit to." 


Ryan took a chance to slide his gaze over to the other man.
The firelight cast crimson highlights woven through what was
left of Colin's hair. "What do you mean? What didn't you want
to admit to?"


"Not being totally happy," Colin admitted, giving voice to his
thoughts.


Ryan's gaze was incredulous. "I thought you loved her."


"I did...do," Colin reassured him. "But...."


"But what?" Ryan prodded when Colin trailed off.


"But sometimes loving someone just isn't enough when...you
feel like something's missing," Colin explained in a hushed
tone.


Ryan wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer, but he found
the question pulled from his lips anyway. "What's missing?"


Colin's hazel eyes focused fully into Ryan's. "What I thought
I found ten years ago on New Year's Eve."


Ryan inhaled sharply, his throat tightening up. Until now,
they'd had a silent agreement that had never been breached...
an agreement not to discuss that New Year's Eve ten years
ago...the one night they had spent in each other's arms as
lovers.


The night had started out innocuous enough. They had started
out at a party of a mutual friend of theirs. Rick, the same
friend who had introduced them to each other many years ago,
was holding the party. They had all had a good time drinking
and having fun until time came for the midnight New Year's
kiss. On a dare, Ryan pulled Colin into his arms and was
laughing as he kissed the shorter man. The laughter didn't
last long once the joking kiss somehow turned soft, tender,
passionate, and all too very real. It had only been the first 
kiss of many that night. The year was birthed anew while
they experienced a night of discovery and ecstasy together.


Though it had rocked both of them to their centers, the 
following morning both were unwilling to acknowledge what had 
happened between them. Instead of talking about it, they simply 
fell into the pattern of friendship that was both familiar 
and much more easily dealt with. 


"Col, you don't know what you're saying," Ryan said, his voice
betraying him as it came out thick and throaty.


"Why not?" Colin whispered, his voice just as low and husky.
"Ryan, when I think about it, there's only one person who's
supported me, encouraged me from the very beginning of my
career. There's only one person who's always been there for
me nearly half of my life. One person who wouldn't let me give 
up on my dreams and even helped them come true by encouraging
the powers that be to hire me, not caring it might have been
a risk to his own career...."


"Colin, I...." Ryan floundered, at a complete loss for words
and suddenly acutely aware of how close the older man was to
him. He felt warm and flushed and somehow knew it wasn't from
the close proximity of the fireplace.


Suddenly Colin chuckled mirthlessly. "Hell, I must have had 
more to drink than I thought I did. Especially since I know
you don't feel that way about me."


"Now wait a minute," Ryan protested, trying to collect his
scattered thoughts. "Where do you get that idea?"


"What? That you don't feel that way about me?" Colin asked.
"When you didn't want to talk about what happened that night,
it made it pretty obvious to me. After that, I just kept telling
myself we weren't anything but friends. I figured if I kept
saying it enough, I'd start to believe it...and I did after 
awhile."


Ryan's hand stole out, fingers sliding down Colin's smooth
hand and entwining their fingers. "Colin, I didn't realize
you felt this way. The only reason I didn't say anything about
it is because I didn't want to ruin what we had...our friendship.
Nothing was worth risking that, but don't for one second think
that night didn't matter to me." Ryan's voice dropped in tone.
"It meant more to me than you know and I wanted every moment
of it as much as you did."


"And what about now?" Colin whispered. "Still feel the same
way?"


The inches that separated them evaporated in the space of a 
breath. Not knowing who made the first move, the only awareness
Ryan had was the feel of Colin's soft lips brushing against
his own. Breath, hot and sweet, mingled with his own as Ryan
teased the tender, plaint skin. The faintest feeling of a
tip of a tongue tracing along his lips sent a shiver down the
center of his spine.


"Yeah," Ryan whispered hoarsely, his hand coming up to cup and 
caress Colin's cheek. God help him, but he couldn't deny the 
answer. "Yeah, I still feel the same way."


Ryan watched Colin move to straddle his lap, felt heat and silk
settle against him as his hands ran up the length of Colin's
back. He felt the twisting of muscles moving under the soft
material as Colin wrapped his arms around his neck. Ryan's
eyes were drawn to Colin's lips as they each moved towards
the other to once more bring their mouths together.


Their lips were crushed against each other, meeting in a hard, 
demanding kiss that bespoke of need too long ignored. Colin's
fingers wound in the curls in the back of Ryan's head, holding
him immobile he licked and nibbled at the tender flesh. Colin's
tongue probed against his and Ryan felt his own mouth opening
up to allow him access. 


Ryan moaned softly as his mouth was explored by the other man, 
his own sliding against Colin's, engaging in a slow battle...
thrusting, dueling as the taste of the Canadian was intoxicating. 
It was a taste he'd nearly forgotten, but the memory of it 
came flooding back full force and he could feel body  eagerly 
responding on it's own accord.


As Colin's tongue teased against his inner-cheek, danced across
the enamel of his teeth, flitted against the roof of his mouth,
Ryan's hands slid down Colin's back and cupped the slick clad
rear with both hands. He pulled Colin hard against him, catching
his breath when he felt the firmness of Colin's length nestle
against his own.


Ryan felt agile fingers going to work to unbutton the silk 
top he was wearing. Cool air tinged with the warmth of the 
fire hit his bare skin when Colin pushed the material off his 
shoulders. Colin's soft lips gently kissed and nipped their
way down Ryan's throat, not enough to hurt, but hard enough
to leave faint marks on the exposed skin while broad hands
caressed Ryan's chest.


Ryan buried his face in Colin's neck as the older man's fingertips
flicked against his nipples, teasing the stiff peaks until they 
ached. Ryan's own hands restlessly kneaded Colin's rear, pressing 
himself tightly against Colin's groin. Colin pressed back against 
him insistently, grinding his body into Ryan's. The double 
layer of silk provided no barrier to the growing heat and only 
added to their frustration. Ryan shoved his hands down the 
elastic band of the pajamas and filled his palms with warm 
flesh, fingers digging into the taunt muscles.


"You feel so good, want you so much," Ryan whispered against
Colin's mouth.


"I want you too, need you," Colin murmured, nuzzling against
Ryan's throat his fingers wrapped around Ryan's shoulders.


Slowly, Ryan leaned Colin back until he was lying on the soft, 
gray carpeting. He took a moment to let his eyes run appreciatively 
over his lover's body before meeting warm, wanton, soft eyes.
Resting on his forearms, Ryan blanketed Colin's body with his
own. The taller man felt Colin shiver against him as he 
purposefully rubbed their groins together, his knee working 
between Colin's to open them to fit against him even more 
snuggly. 


Ryan worked his hips, grinding against the man under while
his lips hovered above Colin's, barely touching but letting
his tongue tease the inside of Colin's bottom lip. Colin
groaned in response. Fingers grasping and twisting against
Ryan's pajama bottoms, Colin yanked down hard on the silk,
heedful of the thick erection, and pulled them down Ryan's 
thighs, baring his firm sex.


Ryan hissed as Colin's hand slid between them, knowing fingers
wrapped around his manhood and stroked him in a sure rhythm. 
Sensations, mini-explosions of pleasure, cascaded through
Ryan causing white light to burst behind closed eyelids. He
moaned deep in his throat and it took every effort to clamp his
fingers around Colin's wrist and still the tormenting hand.


"Not yet," Ryan pleaded in a broken, thick voice. "We've got
all night, let's make the most of it.


Dragging in a deep, shaky breath, Colin nodded his head and
let Ryan bring his hand up to caress Ryan's cheek. Ryan turned
his head and laid a kiss in the center of palm and pulled
himself back to rest on his knees. 


Ryan felt Colin's keen gaze resting on him, watching his every
movement, as he slid the silk pants the rest of the way down 
his thighs and off before reaching for the other man. Button 
by button, Ryan revealed the pale skin of Colin's torso that
looked almost golden under the flames from the hearth. 


Tawny flames licked at the planes and valleys, chasing the
tenebrous shadows and begging Ryan to taste and touch it 
everywhere. He let his fingers spread wide over Colin's chest 
in a light, exploratory touch, letting his fingertips tracing 
sporadic patterns across the muscles and dips. He lingered 
over a nipple, brushing it with the pad of his thumb while 
watching the expression on Colin's face. 


Ryan had to smile to himself. Maybe Colin wasn't exactly what
most people would consider exceptionally good-looking by most
standards, but with the look in the older man's eyes...the
intensity of passion mixed with affection...Ryan couldn't
imagine anyone looking any sexier to him. Bending his head,
Ryan tentatively licked at a nipple and was rewarded with
a staggering groan before moving to the other, holding Colin 
as he squirmed when Ryan latched onto it.


Hands and mouth worked in concert as Ryan let his fingers 
travel up and down Colin's thighs, stroking and caressing the 
lithe limbs under the cumbersome cloth. Slowly, his fingers
worked closer and close to the hard column of flesh that
was zealously pressing against it's fabric confinement. The
fingers in Ryan's hair were definitely encouraging Ryan's
head down further, closer to the growing ache that matched
Ryan's own.


"Ryan...please," Colin implored with urgency.


With a mischievous gleam in his eyes, Ryan thought of prolonging
Colin's torture, but the honest need radiating from dazed 
hazel eyes tugged at his conscience and he knew he couldn't
do that. Working his way down Colin's stomach, twirling his
tongue inside the navel, Ryan moved until he hovered Colin's
groin. 


The black fabric clung to the evident arousal damply. Ryan
took a moment to nuzzle against the inside of Colin's thigh
before turning his face to wetly lick at the still-clothed
manhood. One hand moved to cup Colin's testicles, cradling
them and fondling them in his large palm, while his mouth
kissed at the length striving to meet him. The hand on the
back of his head pressed Ryan down hard as Colin arched up
to the mouth as the younger man teased the tip through the
fabric, able to smell and taste the leaking arousal even
through the barrier.


Colin was murmuring inarticulate endearments that Ryan could
barely make out, amazed at how quickly he'd been able to
reduce Colin to incoherence. Gently he hooked his fingers
into the band and pulled down the fabric and pulled them
down, letting the flushed, solid erection bob forth against
his lips before drawing it into his mouth.


Ryan closed his eyes, allowing himself to concentrate fully 
on the taste and feel inside of his mouth. The slick heat,
the salty unique flavor he'd only sampled once before, filled
his mouth as he steadily, rhythmically took Colin over and
over again. His hands anchored Colin's hips, not letting
him thrust up too hard as he savored and sampled every inch,
learning all over again the patterns of veins and teasing
the leaking crown, feeling it pulse and throb in time to
ache at his own groin.


"Oh God, Ryan, so hot...so good," Colin groaned out.


Ryan made full use of his cheeks, tongue, and teeth to bring 
Colin to the breaking point several times, holding him on the 
edge and then pulling the older man back. The Canadian writhed 
and bucked against him with growing ardor.


When it seemed to be too much, Colin grabbed the sides of Ryan's 
head and pulled him up and away to kiss him long and hard, 
their shafts bumping and rubbing against each other.


"In me...now," Colin whispered in between panting breaths.
 

"Are you sure you want this?" Ryan asked, hit by a wave of 
sudden uncertainty. His body ached, knew what it wanted, but 
he wasn't going to do a thing unless he was sure Colin wanted 
it to.


The invasion of Colin's tongue inside his mouth hit him hard 
and fast as he felt his own shaft being stroked once more in 
a rhythm similar to the one he'd taken Colin with.


"Jesus, yes, I want this," Colin whispered fiercely.


With a lingering kiss to Colin's lips, Ryan pulled himself
away and out of Colin's arms. "Gonna need some help," he 
murmured, waiting until Colin nodded his understanding. 


Ryan didn't waste time in slipping off to the bathroom and
searching the cabinet for something...anything...that could
be used. His fingers found and clutched a small bottle of
baby oil. Shutting the cabinet, he took a second to focus on
the mirror. His face was flushed while his eyes were hazed
and dilated. Small red marks led his eyes down to his heaving
chest and further down to even more evidence of his quickly
rising passion. He looked like he was damn near out of control.


Ryan closed his eyes and took a deep breath into his lungs, 
held it and let it escape through parted, swollen lips. He
knew he had to find some way to balance the onslaught of
emotions and sensations that threatened to consume him, or
else there'd be a chance that in his uncurbed eagerness to
please Colin, he might just end up hurting him. That simply
wasn't an option. He wanted it to be good...no...better than
good. He didn't want to leave Colin with any doubts about what
this meant to him.


Ryan waited until the waves of longing ebbed a little and he 
could think more clearly. Only then did he trust himself to
return to Colin again.


In his absence, Ryan had discovered that Colin had pulled out
the sofa bed and had thrown some sheets onto it. The older man
was waiting for him with a look of adoring anticipation on his
face.


Ryan climbed into the bed and into Colin's arms, greeted with
soft, sensual kisses. Both pairs of hands caressed and soothed,
excited and pacified. Like tinder to a fire, they let the
passion flair and smolder, enjoying the easy loving touches,
but both longing for more.


"Ready for this?" Ryan asked, his fingers teasing the cleft
between Colin's cheeks.


"No," Colin said with a mischievous smile. "Wasn't ready for 
it ten years ago either, but that sure didn't stop me then. 
Isn't going to stop me now either." His hand stroked up and 
down Ryan's chest. "I need this."


Ryan moved in between Colin's spread knees, resting back on 
his own knees as he let some of the oil coat his fingers. His 
eyes locked onto Colin's as he slowly slid the finger past
the muscular opening and into the depths of the older man.


Colin caught his breath, Ryan feeling the immediate clamping
down against his gently probing finger. "Relax, Col, trust
me."


"You know I do," Colin responded in a strained voice.


To deflect Colin's attentions, Ryan concentrated on laying
soft kisses on every piece of skin he could reach. Butterfly
kisses rained down on Colin's stomach, light licks against
his thigh, all while Ryan's free hand caressed his chest,
and over his hip and leg.


Slowly Ryan could feel the easing of the tension in Colin's
muscles and used that knowledge to not only massage and relax
the incredibly tight passage, but to add a second and then a 
third finger. Patiently he worked the muscle until it was supple 
and pliant. By this time, Colin was moaning, body shaking, 
and covered in a fine sheen of perspiration. 


"God, Ryan...don't make me wait...need it now," Colin
encouraged.


Ryan pulled his fingers free, forcing himself to ignore Colin's
moan of frustration. Taking the oil in hand, he quickly coated
his own erection, anticipation tightening in his stomach like
a hard knot. Slowly he moved to position himself against Colin's 
body, the knot threatening to move up into his throat as he
pulled Colin's legs over his own. His heart pounded, thudding 
loudly in his ears, as he forced himself to remember to breath. 


A barrage of doubts flew through his mind. Was this right? How
would it affect their friendship? Was this the right time or
was Colin's pain over Deb still too deep? His eyes sought out
Colin's and found so much love reflected right back at him
that it was like finding the eye of a storm. How could it be 
wrong when it felt so right?


With that one simple truth calming his mind, Ryan leaned in
to kiss Colin's swollen lips firmly and let his body join
with Colin's. 


Ryan swallowed the moan torn from Colin as the older man's
body protested against the intrusion. Ryan held himself
there, just a few inches inside, until he felt the gradual
relaxing and acceptance from the tight passage, Colin's
hands on his hips pulling him forward. Slowly, he sunk into 
the channel, feeling lightheaded from the sensations. 'Damn, 
I almost forgot how hot and tight he was,' Ryan thought, 
surprised he had even that much coherency left.


Ryan slowly merged with him, only to pull back once more and 
sink in again shallowly.  Memories of a night long ago began
to mingle and coalesce with the present as Ryan's body began 
to move in concert with Colin's.

The pace Ryan set at first was slow and easy, wanting Colin
to become accustomed, but when Colin started responding with
fervor, Ryan felt it a struggle to hold back. Colin sensed
this and tried to show him with his body that Ryan didn't have 
cause to hold back. Muscles clamped down on Ryan, squeezing 
him within the constricting confines of Colin's body while 
strong hands tugged and pulled at him, urging him to go faster 
and harder while Colin's hips rocked up into his with force.


Ryan knew his own control was like a loose thread, meticulously
being picked and threatened to unravel at any moment. He picked
up speed, his thrusting pushing Colin deep into the mattress 
under them as the springs creaked and groaned under their
combined weight in harmony.


Colin's fingers dug into his hipbones painfully, though the
sensation was washed under all the others. Faster and faster
he drove into Colin, feeling the edge rushing towards them
full force and not knowing how to evade it, not even knowing
if he wanted to. He wanted to take time, to love slowly and 
tenderly, but every emotion, every touch only served to hamper 
that resolve, pushing him closer and closer to the abyss.


Ryan felt the tautness coming over Colin as well, knowing
they were both on the losing side of the battle, as the
older man's ruddy length that was being abraded against his
abdomen was firm and scorching. Forcing a hand between them,
Ryan captured the hard length and squeezed it, pumped it
as he thrust into Colin.


"Oh, Ryan, I'm going to...."


Ryan seized Colin's mouth, capturing the explosive cry for
his own as he felt Colin's entire body shudder and the searing
liquid release flooded across his hand and their abdomens. The
sound, the feel...it was too much and sent Ryan into a tailspin
over the edge himself. Waves of pleasure towed Ryan under, sight
and sound blotted out by the magnitude of the massive assault.
It crashed in around him, threatening to break him into slivers,
cutting into him to the core and leaving him raw and exposed as
he filled Colin's body with his own completion.


When Ryan drifted lazily back to full awareness, he didn't
know how much time had passed. It could have been minutes or
hours, he didn't know. All he was really aware of was Colin's
arms holding him tightly to him, as they were now on their
sides, the feel of sure hands stroking his sweat-slicked body,
of soft lips against his own.


Ryan held Colin close, just content to look into his eyes and 
stroke the body in his hands. A sense of warmth, contentment, 
washed over him bone deep.


"What are you thinking about now?" Ryan asked as a shadow fell 
across his lover's face.


Colin pulled his eyes away from Ryan's. "Just wondering why
it took us ten years to get things figured out between us,"
he admitted softly.


Ryan kissed his lover's broad forehead. "Who knows, maybe
we weren't ready for it then. At least we know now."


"Yeah, we do," Colin sighed. There was a pause. "Ryan?"


"Yeah?"


"I love you."


The words were spoken softly, reverently. 


"I love you too," Ryan whispered back.


As the glowing flames in the hearth started to dim, the logs
turning into embers, Ryan found himself unable to keep his
mind still. He couldn't help wondering where this night with 
Colin was going to lead, or what it'd mean for him and Trisha
if she found out about it. Glancing down at the older man
who had fallen asleep in his embrace, he knew one thing was
certain. His life was bound to get a lot more interesting
with this funny, loving, man in it.