Irreplaceable You.

L. Kathleen Mathis

Under the bright Fall moon I kneel,

The sand cold and wet beneath my knees.

The breeze off the ocean

Curls about

and gently caresses the curves of my face,

My shoulder,

My neck,

Like your touch,

Your breath,

But this chills my skin,

As I close my eyes

And think of you.

Lifting my gaze to the heavens

The sorrow empties my soul,

Like the tears regretfully falling down my face,

And I am woefully devoid of all

That was me.

How my soul keens

As I lift my voice into the wind

Unfettered to release the pain,

The anguish,

The void.

I didn't know love could be like this.

I didn't know it was possible

To empty one's entire existence

Into the spirit of another.

I cannot understand.

You gave me wings,

Made visions and dreams

Come alive in my soul.

Made me hunger and thirst for a life

I never knew existed in me,

And I lived.

I lived!

because of you.

And I poured it into you.

With joy,

And reckless abandon

I gave it all to you.

It was the most natural thing to do,

To love the perfection in you.

Now I am curiously

And painfully

empty,

My dreams swept away in the shadow of your passing

And I wonder

would I do it again,

if I could do it over?

Would I give up the joy in the magic of your love,

The delight of your soul rejoicing in me,

The ecstasy of your spirit washing over mine,

Drawing me out of the shadows

Into the light of you?

Would I relinquish the thrill

of learning of you,

The inspiration,

admiration,

dreams

And longings

you conjure in my soul

with your words,

your life?

I could not.

Ask me to release the hope

And strength,

And joy

Conjured up in your gaze,

Full of faith

And pride

in me,

and I would not.

I could not.

All you've given to me

Is more precious than this night,

Memories of you

Will pierce through this darkness,

A radiant light to sustain me,

Even if the morning never comes

again.

I'd rather to have known the perfection of your sun

and live in eternal night,

Than to have never known you

And endured the twilight of my former life.

It's awfully cold here, though.

I'm glad I have you in my mind.