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Student: Fred
Email: Fredfee@hotmail.com
Problem: Hi counseler!
There are some people at school who think I'm a loser. I don't know what it could be??? But when I try to join in they all leave. And call me bad names. Whats should I do????
UR pal fred

Counceler: Well Fred, sounds to me people don't like you because of who you are. But you really didn't give me a reason. Just, maybe you are a loser by choice,mmm-K. But lets say you aren't mmm-k. Maybe the other kids think you are a little dip shit. You should try to ask ummm why they don't like you. mmm-k.
- The Counseler

Student: Jimmy Liskey
EmailL unknown
problem: I like the ugiest girl at school and people hate me. What do i do??

Counseler: Jimmy, So you like the most ugliest girl at school. Hmmm, well I guess a lot of people look beyond the persons looks. Maybe the reason the children hate you is because they can't see what you are seeing. MMMM-K. Or, maybe she really is an ugly bitch. And the children are worring that u are a crazy ass. MM-K
I'm glad we had this talk.
- The counseler
Student: Louis Edher
Email: LouisEdher@webtv.net
Problem: When is it that I have a problem with being nice to people? I start off ok, but than as I go more into my feelings these bastards seem to take offense to what I say. Then I get pissed and raise my voice but S.O.B start to walk away. "What the f&ck do you think your doing, ass Pirate?" and than I say "Who the f&ck do you think you are, The damn F&ckin President of the United...," oh, sorry, as I was saying. I have a hard time making friends. Could you please help me sir?

Counseler: First off, is you talk to damn much, mmm-k. I'm here to help you Louis, but you diffenitly need to work on your people skills. Maybe you need to get off your head, and maybe people wouldn't be ass Pirates. Mmm-k. Take it one step at a time. And try not to show those explosive feelings too much. When they leave cus all you want. And please call Charter, if you can't get help there please, get help somewhere. Mmmm-k
-Counseler

Student: Chris Greatz
Email: chrisgreatz@aol.com
problem: You see my friends are sick bastards. And the only way for them to like me is if I became a sick little bastard too, what should I do?

Counseler: So Tell me, if your so called friends jumped off a tall skyscrapper, would you do it? Probably you would, becaue you want to be a sick little bastard too. Unless you are smarter than the avarage kid. I can't tell you what to do, mmm-k but, I can give you advice that you probably won't take. Oh, hell do what ever the hell you want you sick little monkey... Oh, mmm-k
-Counseler

Student: John Doe
Email: johndoe@aol.com
problem: Well, I was walking my dog when I saw this good looking girl, so I started to walk my dog and I don't see her again. Last summer my dog dies so now I just don't know what to do. What shall I do?

Counseler: What you should of done at the beginning is gone up to her. But your little pea brain didn't think of it, mm-k. You haven't seen her since you walked the bitch, so why walk it everyday? Oh, your dog did die, didn't it John. Well, go buy another dog and you'll go through life buying dogs for the rest of your pathetic life. Mmm-k sounds like a smart thing to do. Might as well marry the dog and walk the good looking girls.
-Counseler

Student: Mike
Email: Unknown
Problem: I cannot seem to get this one hot bitch to like me and she doesn't notice me?

Counseler: Well, girl problems are really the main thing that kids like you have. It could be that she thinks your an ugly Bastard or she is leading you on. Now you didn't give me a pacific reason why she won't notice you mm-k. So, I can't help you. Mmm-k next time you little bastards ask me give me some damn reason!!!! Mmm-k

Student: Jimmy
Email: southp4083@aol.com
Problem: Hi I wanna know how to get a girl to notice you? I'm in a town there arn't any girls. I like eighter but want to be in a relationship how can I do that??

Counseler: If there aren't any girls where you live, why the hell would you want to know how to get a girl to notice you? Unless you deside to stand by the road and have a sign around your neck saying 'notice me I'm an ass-hole', then you diffenitly would be notice! mm-k About relationships? I have no idea what the hell you are talking about? So why don't you go to the big city find yourself a hooker with the damn sign on your neck and have a relationship for a night.

IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM ASK ME MMM-K.

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