"Hi Avery! Why don't you go inside and tell everybody I'm here?" I leaned over and paid the cab driver. "Thanks." I whispered to him.

"Ok!" Avery ran in frantically, screaming "Lindsay's here! Lindsay's here!"

I looked up at the old Tulsa house. It wasn't anything special on the outside, but what wason the inside was so important to me. They were my 2nd family, my friends. One of them, my boyfriend. My skin crawled at the word Boyfriend. I had no clue what was going on. I wanted to go in there, give Taylor a hug and that be as close to him as I ever got. But I knew it couldn't be. He'd shower me with kisses and I'd have to kiss him back. How come this was so confusing to me? I think that I felt like a slut, a whore. No, no I didn't feel like that. Was there some one else? No, not anybody. Were we growing apart? No, neither of us had done any growing lately. Wait a second I thought. That's the problem. Ever since I was dating Taylor, I haven't moved ahead in my life, at all. I signed up for that contest to sing, which is what I like doing most, and now all I do is kiss and hug. Heck, we hadn't done any shows in over 2 months. They told all the fans that theey were "Taking a break" from playing, so they could record the album next summer. But what it was is we just hadn't felt like it.

"Linds!" Taylor came out of the door, running towards me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hi Taylor." I hugged him back but refused to give any kisses. Isaac came out the door and I pulled away from Taylor. "Hi Ike." Zac followed. "Hey Zac." Soon Jessica and Avery and Mackie had greeted me on the front porch and we had exchanged hugs. It felt great to be back.........or did it?

*****************************************************************************

There was a knock at my door at about 10 o'clock that night.

"Can I come in?" Taylor said quietly.

"It's open." I could tell right away I sounded cold.

"Hi Lindsay."

"Hi Taylor."

Taylor took to his own rights and sat down on my bed. He looked unconfortabe, but he tried to play it off cool. I knew him too well. "Uh, how was your trip?"

"Fine." I swivled in my chair, trying to rid my self of the nervous energy I suddenly had inside me.

"That's good. Um, listen, me and Ike were going to a movie tomorow, but I sorta want to cancel to do something with you."

"Well, what would you want to do?"

"Anything. As long as I'm with you."

I shifted in my chair at the accented word. Me. He wanted to spend time with me. Well, if it were one thing you could say about me I could totally fake other people out, but in no way could I lie to my self. So out it went. I didn't really feel like being with him."

I hadn't said anything, so he spoke up. "Uh, I'd like to see a movie or something, but I'd rather talk to you.."

I paused. "Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah, ok?"

"Uhh..." I could hear the tone of annoyance and discomfort in his voice. I looked at him, blankly. I looked into his eyes. I still saw the same sparkle that I saw before I met him. The same sparkle in his eyes. The same twinkle, the same shine. But the feeling, the feeling wasn't there. It just wasn't there. Anymore.