Historically,
people believed that the Earth was the center
of
the universe. Out of all the stars, black holes, planets,
meteors,
and cosmic dust, I'm not sure where we got this idea. The odds are
strongly against the Earth being the center of anything. It's more likely
we are just a period in the middle of some rambling discourse that has
no beginning or end. Part of an astrological filibuster.
my
street address
one
small number
in
the universe
Imagine
if the postman had to deliver to all the galaxies. The charge for a letter
alone would be astronomical. And those cookies from Grandma? You'd need
a set of bionic teeth just to chew the chocolate chips after so many years
out of the oven.
self-adhesive
stamps
the
next generation
not
knowing the taste of glue
For
many of us, the cost of fuel curtails our travel plans.
Rather
than finding the center of the universe, we are stuck in the center of
our yard.
downhill
volleyball
how did I end up
on the wrong side of the net
Every
now and then, I try to expand my horizons. This notion usually occurs around
payday or a full moon. (Beware when these events coincide.)
My
vacation is only a few days. No extra time off for light-year travel. So
I content myself with finding the center of the United States. Not the
geographical center, but the population center. There's a spot on the map
where the same amount of people live to the north, south, east, and west
of a particular town.
Forget
those people who had babies after that point was decided upon. The place
is called Edgar Springs, and it's in Missouri. A mere two-hour drive away
from me. How could I not go?
Edgar
Springs: population 190 (not counting the goats)
Yes,
goats outnumber the people. For all I know, this town could be the goat
capital of the universe.
When
I saw the first goat, I thought it was a dog. But the
horns
were a dead giveaway. That, and the fact he didn't bark when I approached
him.
horses,
goats, and dogs
I
talk to them all
while
swatting flies
According
to local legend, Edgar Springs was named after
one
of its residents. The spring did not refer to water, however. It was the
jig one performed after drinking Edgar's home brew. Seems he had a thriving
still before the Civil War broke out. No one remembers what happened after
that.
whiskey
town
a
freshly painted fence
leans
to one side
It
was amazing to me that the population center of the US was so void of people.
I did find a general store where I purchased a T-shirt and some root beer.
No whiskey for me with a two-hour drive home. Even if it was Edgar Springs
brew.
middle
of nowhere
my
son asks,
"Are
we there, yet?"
Edgar
Springs fame
a
census bureau plaque
in
the cemetery
Side
Note: To all you school kids out there -- this could be
a final jeopardy question so pay attention!
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