1. Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt Imagine how I felt Imagine how I felt Where did my illusions go? I found out Michael Jackson ain't no wrong-doing negro I found he does his moonwalk with mechanical help Go-go's just a big lie, Jackson used a belt Rock music won't ever be the same, I found out Johnny isn't Diesel's real name I found out half of hip-hop was just senseless rhymin New Kids On The Block weren't really miming Imagine how I felt, When I heard of Michael Jackson's conveyer belt Imagine how I felt When I heard of Michael Jackson's conveyer belt There's a question I like to pose, How come God is acting like he's Axl Rose? How come Public Enemy are from the middle class? How can Sinead O'Connor shave her head when it's up her ass? Oh, Michael, I beleived The greatest moonwalk I've ever seen And then I read it in a magazine It's done with machines I can take his plastic surgery, I can take his manufactured lunacy, But his nose ain't the only thing that's not for real, My hero moonwalks on cogs and wheels! On cogs, cogs, cogs and wheels! Imagine how I felt Imagine how I felt Imagine how I felt When I heard of Michael Jackson's conveyer belt Imagine how I felt When I heard of Michael Jackson's conveyer belt 2. Bishop = Handjob March the 17th, I gotta wear green June the 10th, I gotta love the queen Bucks night, gotta be one'a the blokes April the first, I gotta play practical jokes Christmas Day, I gotta be nice to all others February the 14th, I gotta have a secret lover On New Years Eve I gotta rage On my 30th birthday, gotta lie about my age Not a shining wit, I'm a whining shit September the first, I gotta love my father May the 12th, I gotta love my mother First Tuesday in November, gotta go to to the track Last Saturday in September, I gotta throw up Not a shining wit, I'm a whining shit Not a shining wit, I'm a whining shit At the moment of conception gotta follow the norm Gotta be like everybody else from the day that I was born Gotta live my life by the calendar on the fridge, Gotta die the day that I pay up my mortgage Life's a piece of shit, woah woah woah Open a vein and slit, woah woah woah Life's a piece of shit, woah woah woah Gotta step in it, woah woah woah Not a shining wit, woah, I'm a whining shit, yeah Not a shining wit, woah, I'm a whining shit 3. Get Thee To A Nunnery Was it God or the Devil tell me somebody Who put Sophie Lee in Sophie Lee's body? Is it better or worse, I'll pay you some money Is it better or worse when she tries to be funny? Is it or isn't it my TV set squeaking? It surely couldn't be English she's speaking Who is who, damn it, can you tell me soon? Who is the human, who is the cartoon? It couldn't be could it? Impossible I feel I heard Sophie Lee is actually real (x2) Was it God or the Devil tell me somebody Who put Sophie Lee in Sophie Lee's body? 4. Father And Son My old man used to take me to the footy, now it's me takes him Been barracking for the Sainters, season on end, season cold and grim Every season we'd pretend that we were the great pretenders And watch in the rain game of the real contenders Oh hear the cry, ring out to the Moorabbin sky Nothing can stop it Winmar, Winmar, Winmar to Lockett (x2) Those Collingwood bastards did us by a point the day my mother died When I told Dad he shook his head and said, "Makes you want to cry" Winmar, you're a football genius, and oh let me tell you son Remember my old man, cos he wasn't referring to Mum You've got my heart, when you've got the leather For the gods' sake don't drop it, yeah Winmar, Winmar, Winmar to Lockett (x2) Oh Dad'll be gone in ten season's time, and you know they can Build rockets that can think, have prime time TV napalm Vietnam Just for my Dad, they could give us a flag, who says they oughtn't? It's not a matter of life and death, it's more important Here comes Nicky, Tony's broken free Winmar to Lockett Winmar, Winmar, Winmar to Lockett (x3) Winmar to Lockett Winmar, Winmar, Winmar to Lockett 5. Lillee Caught Dilley Bowled Milli Vanilli I want Milli Vanilli I want Milli Vanilli Don't want no 50s rockabilly (don't want no 50s rockabilly) Don't want no Noiseworks, woman hot chili (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want doctor send me no billy (don't want doctor send me no billy) Don't want push boulder up no hilly (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want no coat don't want no billy (don't want no coat don't want no billy) Don't want no dress with lace-up, frilly (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want no Jack, don't want no Jilly (don't want no Jack, don't want no Jilly) Don't want no oven, don't want no grilly (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want no crying over milk, spilly Pass me those cans of beans, will you, Ma Pass me those cans of beans, will you, Ma He wants that scene, Knows what it means, He'll ask for it today, He's really keen He'll make that scene Or was it DSA? Pass me those cans of beans, will you, Ma-a-a Pass me those cans of beans, will you, Ma-a-a Pass me those cans of beans, will you, Ma I want Milli Vanilli Don't want Lillee caught Dilley bowled Milli (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want to live at Kirrabilli (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want no birth control pilly (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want no dentist tooth drilly (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want to listen to Bob Dyly (I want Milli Vanilli) Don't want to write no lyrics silly (I want Milli Vanilli) Ok, you come up with something better, fuckface! 6. If You're Ugly, Forget It Oh, can you see that girl's immaculate shoulder? Do you wanna get your name on her folder? Hope may spring eternal, but you should not let it Hear the unspoken words; if you're ugly, forget it Oh, can you see that guy? No wonder you hate him He's captain of the footy, you of the debating You have the rest of your life with which to regret it Obey the unstated rule; if you're ugly, forget it The worst bands are most popular Arseholes make the most money Insecure twats are famous Lunatics embrace religion Incompetent people, incompetent people are the loudest Woohoo! Still one place left for the desperate try-hard; Become an artist and join the avant garde But even in the ghettos, you're likely to get it; That unbroken code; if you're ugly, forget it And so to suicide you're eventually driven You'll ask St.Peter "Can I get to Heaven?" He'll point to your tombstone. The sentence; you've read it Read the unwritten law; if you're ugly, forget it Stands of principle is genuine Government funding means people don't like it Well read people don't known anything The avant garde are deeply conservative Saving the world is a waste of resources Throw out what's useful and recycle your garbage Nothing happens to ambulance subscribers Round the world, round the world, if you're ugly, forget it Hope may spring eternal, but you should not let it Round the world, round the world, if you're ugly, forget it You have the rest of your life with which to regret it Round the world, round the world, if you're ugly, forget it Even in the ghettos, you're likely to get it Round the world, round the world, if you're ugly, forget it Look at your tombstone. The sentence; you've read it 7. Mourningtown Ride Don't get off the train at Richmond Skins want your Doc Martens Don't get off the train at Campberwell The writers want your Air Jordans Don't get off the train at Essendon You'll get attacked for your (markers/mokkers?) Don't get off the train at Frankston You'll get attacked by the Rockers Don't get off the train Don't get off the train Don't get off the train at Eltham The yodel yobs want lederhosen Don't get off the train at Caulfield Yid boys want your copy of The Chosen Don't get off the train at Broady Petrol-heads want your Torana Don't get off the train at Laverton Gorilla Gang wants your banana Don't get off, don't get off, don't you get off Don't get off the train Don't get off the train at Box Hill The skaters; they want your ramp Don't get off the train at Noble Park 3174 wants your postage stamp Don't get off the train at Broadford Bikies want your leather jacket Don't get off the train at Kooyong Tennis stars want your racquet Don't get off, don't get off, don't you get off Don't get off the train Don't get off South Melbourne Light-rail Greenies want your pollution Don't get off at Flinder's Street Nazi punks want a final solution Don't get off, don't get off, don't you get off Well, train whistle blowing makes a sleepy noise, Underneath the blankets for all the girls and boys Rocking, rolling, rocking, roll Rocking, rolling, riding, out along the bay All aboard for Mourningtown, many miles away Rocking, rolling, rocking, roll Don't get off the train Don't get off the train at Ringwood Goths want your mascara (Don't get off the train) Don't get off the train at Windsor Sandman wants your pyjamas (Get an aeroplane) Flight 103 to Lockerbie now boarding Don't get off the train 8. Loser, Loser, Loser, Lost The scene at Appomattox. The Greeks of Themodalie(sp?) The men and {Indian men?} who lining up to die. A million ghosts will stop throats of any who dares {?} General Grant and General Lee and all at Appomattox They're in every classroom In every secondary school And in every workplace Every typing pool They are beside you on the bus With the lifeless stare Nervously outside surgery Waiting for doctor's (there/care?) Together it is all {?} Loser. Loser, loser, losing, lost. Loser, loser, losing, lost. Lost. There's cancer in the South of France Cancer lurks in Rome Cancer circles the whole globe 'Til it finds you home In heart and liver it is waiting For all of us.. or most Our very selves join hands and sing Loser, losing, lost. Loser. Loser, loser, losing, lost. Loser, loser, losing, lost. Ahhh...