"Susan, you have a lump in your breast." It's amazing how eight words can so drastically alter your perception of
what makes you happy. Had I only yesterday searched for eight items that make me happy, I would
have quickly said, "love, family, friends, my car...I really LOVE my car,
heath bar crunch ice cream, mountains, fresh strawberries from the field,
still slightly gritty, but oh so sweet and juicy, and ironically... larger
breasts. Having always been small, about a hundred pounds soaking wet, I've always
thought the one thing I was lacking was the perfect mammaries. They were the
key to my happiness, they would get me places, make me beautiful. Now, I
don't want the two I've got. "Susan, you have a lump in your breast." As I sit and write this, I feel it growing in my mind, I hear its voice.
It sounds amazingly like the wicked witch of the west cackling, "Did you
wake up happy this morning? Or did you let him sleep? HeHeHeHeHe! Well, my
pretty, I can take your happiness away, and your little dog too!" Hmmm...
she got the dog a couple months ago. It has always been the simple pleasures of life that most pleased me, good
friends, laughter, being outdoors, and the sappy things like the first blooms
of spring. But, even those we take for granted, don't we? How often have we
lamented the weather? "It's too cold, it's too wet, it's too hot" It is so
easy to think you need something you don't have to make you happy. We live
our lives thinking the grass is always greener on the other side, we need
to keep up with the Jones's, always wishing for more, bigger, better, always
coveting what others have. "Susan, you have a lump in your breast." Eight words that made me realize what happiness is. Today it's the comfort
and caring of so many friends, appreciating their prayers and hugs. Today
it is the realization, like Dorothy coming back from OZ, that "if I ever go
looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own
backyard, because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."
Having always been the one taking care of everyone else, it makes me happy
to appreciate the return from others now when I need it. "Susan, you have a lump in your breast."
What makes me happy? Tonight it would be to NOT be writing this article. Oh, yeah, and still a pint of Ben & Jerry's Heath Bar Crunch ice cream shared with my very best friend.