MINI RANTS
These are little irritations, sort of mini-size rants, not
enough for a whole essay but still worth a dishonorable mention. 
Hmmm....would a mini-rant be a 'runt'?
OS Wars!
When I'm not downloading pictures from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.popcorn I like to check out
the computer related news groups. Now you would think that
at least some of the people who contribute to these groups
are highly educated computer professionals. They don't act
like it. "Windows 95 sucks...". "Does not...Mac Sucks", "Does
not", "Does to", etc. I've read threads that go on for days,where people were
threatening each other with bodily harm over a stupid
operating system. If you gave these guys an Army, Navy and
Air Force they'd probably wipe out the entire population of the
planet over which OS is better.
I have a suggestion for these people. GET A LIFE! There is already too
much hate and intolerance on this earth. Most of the time when
someone is debating and berrating, they've never laid eyes or
hands on the other to know the difference.
Let's argue about
something important...like which came first; the chicken or the
chicken nugget! Or, more importantly...what exactly IS in a nugget?
Your Total Is.....
I normally shop alone for groceries. It's not that I'm antisocial, but it's just how I've always
done it. I'm a terror in the store, careening around the aisles knocking down little old ladies
who've stopped to discuss their corns, bunions and incontinence. (Did you know that they call them
your 'golden years' cuz you walk around wearing yellow depends?) Oh, my I'm digressing again! As
I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself...I'm on a mission, know what I need, know what I
want and don't need any diversions. In, out, spend a certain amount, no tag-a-longs, no impulse
buyers allowed.
As I was leaving for the store today I asked my daughter if she needed anything. She said, "I want to
go with you!" Well, okay, this will be some quality Mom/Daughter time, what can it hurt?
I needed apples, bread and lettuce.
I forgot the lettuce...
We spent $118.00
Nuff said?
My PEW! P.U. to U!
Fight Ensues in Local Church..Three killed, Seven Injured! Film at
11
You're gonna see this someday, and it's gonna be over who sits where!
Nice God fearing people put aside all aspects of charitable behavior
each and every Sabbath when it comes to where to park their butts to
hear the sermon.
They come up to the sanctuary early to 'save' their place with Bibles
and sweaters and such. I made the mistake today of thinking that the
Bible lying on the pew I normally sit in was that of the lady I normally
sit with....BUZZZZ...WRONG ANSWER Ms. Sterling!!
Mrs. Huff and Puff let me know it too! It's not like there wasn't plenty
of room for both of us there, I didn't mind sitting with her, apparently
I had offensive body odor or perhaps an errant nostril hair, but she
took her Bible and her attitude and sat elsewhere.
Bless her! :)
Blubbered by the Feds!
Well, as if the federal government hasn't put their collective noses in
enough places they don't belong, now they've decided to reduce the statistics
for what constitutes being fat.
I tip the scales at a mighty 101, never have worried about my weight, other
than, in times of stress, trying not to LOSE too much. I've birthed
babies and I eat sweets as the staple of my day, I just don't gain weight.
My doctor says she'd like to see me weigh three digits and one of them NOT
be a zero. 'Fat' chance! According to the old charts, at 5'8" I'm supposed
to weigh in at something like 135.
But, now, according to the new government standards, I'm overweight! My body fat
analysis says I'm at a 26.4 reading. At 25 you have heart trouble, at 27 you
are obese. I already wear a size 2 because I refuse to buy the size 0. Someone
somewhere has lost their mind. And they want me to lose weight?
FAT chance!
Say What?
I had one of those people today in the post office that makes me feel real good. The kind that lets me know that "Thank You Lord" there is ONE person in the world dumber than me! :)
He came in and said he couldn't get the copier to work. He said it'd taken his money and not given him a copy. With an 'I told you so' flourish he opened the top of the copier where his paper was laying face down and said "See....mine is still here"!
Yes, ladies and gents, he expected it to rise up 'a la exorcist' through the glass plate, under his original.
With an equally....okay....MUCH greater... flourish, but still minus the "I told you so", I reached to the side and 'voila' offered him his copy from its little tray.
Sigh.....
Pick It Up Pickup
I made an interesting observation this week. Is there some weird law of gravity I don't know anything
about that makes a guy in a pickup truck think if he rolls down his window and tosses his paper cup,
hamburger wrapper, and whatnot in the back of his truck, that it is actually going to STAY there?
Jeepers, you coulda wadded it up better so the ketchup wouldn't have globbed on my windshield! I give
this guy the 'DUH AWARD' of the day!
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