Summary: Uhura becomes the first officer of the Enterprise during Saavik's last year at the Academy.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Kirk, Spock, Uhura and, company. I have just borrowed them for a while, and I will not profit from any of this.

This is part three of a four-part story and continues my Spock/Uhura universe.

Feedback is desired.

The Kobayashi Maru III, chapter 1

Alone. She was so alone.

Seated on the sofa with only a single table lamp to light the dark room, Uhura looked around. She was back on Earth now, living from a suitcase in her own home, and she had no idea where she would go next.

The Enterprise was to be decommissioned. The damage from the battle was too great, and it was time for the next generation of mighty ships to patrol the heavens. Scotty alternated between fury and depression, and Admiral Kirk had voiced many heartfelt objections, but she... She didn't really care. She loved the ship and all it stood for, and she didn't want to see her friends hurt, but the Enterprise held nothing for her anymore. It had been the source of the best years of her life, but knowing that Spock would never be there waiting for her, she didn't want to ever set foot on board again. Selfish? Maybe. Self-pitying? Definitely. But it was the truth.

Spock...

A piercing, empty pain gripped her chest at the thought of his name, but she didn't do anything to push it away. It wasn't much different than the numb, aching sense of loss that hovered over every second of every day, so why bother? If she really wanted to torment herself, all she had to do was imagine what it would be like to turn and find him seated beside her, all she had to do was think of how his body would feel in her arms. There were many levels to her pain. It was just a matter of degree.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the sofa, remembering that conversation when he had said he wanted her back. They had been working late in his quarters, snacking on grapes and going over cadet assignments. She had looked up to see him watching her, and when she had asked him what he was doing, he had stunned her with his reply.

I am remembering what it felt like when you used to touch me.

Just like that, he had swept past her defenses and burst back into her life. He had told her everything that night. Pon farr, and how he had used it as a scapegoat for all his bigger fears. The disastrous end of his relationship with Helen, and how he had used it as a springboard into understanding his true feelings. His desire to have her back, and his certainty that it would be better this time. She had been too afraid, however, and she had protected herself from the possibility of being hurt again.

Just like she'd protected herself when she took the Kobayashi Maru test so many years ago.

She'd felt so wise at twenty-one, but now she knew that she'd barely been more than a child. She'd been so cautious about venturing into the unknown that she had refused to take the ship into the neutral zone. Spock had even tried to point out the similarities between her performance on that test and her indecision over him. She was afraid, he had said, but she must find the strength to move beyond that fear. Sometimes one must accept the consequences of making a poor decision, but even worse was accepting the consequences of a decision not made at all. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. He hadn't said those last words--they were something she had told herself ever since her last year at the Academy, but she hadn't even listened to her own advice.

She couldn't resist replaying the conversation of that night, this time imagining a very different ending...

Very close, he entreated, "Give me another chance, Nyota."

She reminded him of what he had done before. "You hurt me."

He acknowledged their shared pain but put it into the perspective of the here-and-now. "Yes, and you hurt me. But the pain I experienced those years ago is nothing compared to my pain now, if you say no."

He leaned closer, his breath tickling her cheek, and she closed her eyes when he kissed her. She put her arms around him, relishing the sensation of his warm, solid body next to hers. This time, when his fingers rested against her temple and his mind brushed against her own, she opened herself to him, and joyously they were reunited, body, mind, and spirit...

It felt so real, so real, and she wanted to hide away in her fantasy forever. But she couldn't. The true reality was that she'd run away from him, sending him to his death without ever giving him the satisfaction of an answer either way. Why hadn't she allowed herself to move beyond their past? She was such a fool. He had grown so much between the time they had first met and the time they had become lovers, why couldn't she see that he had grown that much more again? Trapped in her old perceptions, she hadn't even considered the fact that maybe, just maybe, this time he knew more about what was right for them than she did.

Opening her eyes, she checked her chrono. Time to go over to Admiral Kirk's. She was tempted to call and cancel, but she knew that she couldn't stay away.

She rose and turned off the light.

* * * * * * * *

Standing in Admiral Kirk's kitchen, she examined the selection of bottles arranged on the counter. Nothing looked very appealing. Maybe Admiral Kirk had some juice or something. She wandered over to the cooler to take a look.

"Need something?"

She glanced up to see Kirk beside her. "Oh, sorry. I hope you don't mind, but I thought you might have something to drink besides the hard stuff."

"How about some coffee?"

"Do you have decaf?"

"Yes, sure."

She leaned against the counter while he fixed the coffee, listening to Chekov and Sulu in the other room as they talked about this afternoon's briefing with Starfleet Commander Morrow.

"So, how are you doing?" Kirk's voice was casual, but she could see the concern behind his words.

"I don't know. I feel a lot of grief, a lot of guilt, some anger that he did this to us. Just about what you'd expect, I suppose. You?"

"Pretty much the same."

Accepting her drink, she sipped. "This is good. Thanks."

"You're welcome." He studied her face. "I hope that you don't still feel like you let him down. I've thought quite a bit about what you told me when we sealed Spock's quarters. I have to confess that it surprised me at first, since he hadn't even indicated that he wanted to get back together with you. After I considered it, though, I realized that it wasn't a surprise at all. I knew that he'd never gotten over you. I suppose the part that surprised me was that he'd acted on it so soon after, er, after..."

"Helen."

"Uh, right. I mean, after you and he split up, he retreated so far that I didn't think he'd ever try again. As it was, it took him, what, five years? Six?"

She smiled sadly. "Somehow, his experience with Helen seemed to clarify a lot of things for him. I'd never known him to be so confident and self-assured about what he wanted as he was in that last week. It was a wonderful thing to see. I'm sorry that he couldn't enjoy his new-found assurance longer."

Nodding, Kirk dropped his eyes, then turned toward the other room. "Come with me. I think it's time to drink a toast. I'll fix something small, and then you can go back to your coffee."

She followed him into the other room as he rounded up the others. Pouring four small vials of some sort of fruity liqueur, he handed them out, then raised his glass.

"To absent friends."

They all touched glasses and drank, and her mind wandered as she remembered another toast. She'd almost forgotten about it, but the first time she had encountered Spock after they broke up, Kirk had proposed a toast to old friends. He'd ostensibly been honoring the people who had gathered in his apartment, but she'd known it was for her and Spock. That had been a good day. She'd been nervous about seeing Spock again, but they'd begun rebuilding their relationship that evening. Everyone had been well and happy--quite a departure from today.

She tuned back into the discussion and realized that they were talking about the decommissioning of the Enterprise. She waited for a break, then approached Kirk.

Her voice low, she asked, "Sir, about Dr. McCoy--how is he?"

"He's at his home resting comfortably, pumped full of tranquilizers. They say it's exhaustion. He promised he'd stay put. Well, we'll see." He glanced up at a signal from his door. "Ah, Mr. Scott. Come."

They all turned as the door slid open, but it definitely wasn't Scotty. A dark, mysterious man in a Vulcan robe stood in the hallway, his features hidden by a heavy hood. Uhura felt her heart skip a beat, but of course the figure was much too stocky to be Spock. Slowly, the man pulled back his hood.

Kirk's eyes widened. "Sarek."

Sarek stalked into the room. He had struck Uhura as a highly polished, civilized man when she met him all those years ago, but the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end when she watched the man who came here today. This man was not at peace, and seemed to carry the implacability of all Vulcan on his shoulders.

Quickly recovering, Kirk said, "Ambassador, I had no idea you were here. I believe you know my crew."

Sarek's eyes never left Kirk's. "I will speak with you alone, Kirk."

At a gesture from Kirk, Uhura fell into step with Sulu and Chekov. She met Kirk's eyes meaningfully as she walked toward the door, hoping to impart the message that she wanted him to call her later. He nodded tightly to let her know he understood, but his attention was already on Sarek.

* * * * * * * *

Looking up quickly at the sound of the doorbell, Uhura jumped from the sofa and ran to the door. Even though she'd expected him to call, this had to be Kirk. Her heart pounded as she wondered what had compelled him to actually come here in person.

She opened the door and ushered him in. "Please, let me take your jacket."

He handed it to her without a word, then followed her over to the sofa and seated himself beside her. It was clear that he was tightly wound, but she couldn't tell if he was upset or excited. She didn't speak as she tried to interpret the expression on his face.

Finally, he leaned close. "He's not gone, Uhura."

Sitting back as if he had slapped her, she choked out, "What?"

"He's not gone. Not entirely." He opened his mouth, struggling for words as he ran both hands through his hair. "Sarek called it a katra. It's not just a mind, but something akin to what we'd consider a soul. When a Vulcan dies, he transfers it via a mind-meld to someone else for safe-keeping. That's why Sarek came to me."

She blinked as she struggled to understand. "Are you saying that Spock transferred his... his... katra to someone? And that we can retrieve it? Part of him still exists?" Her voice had risen into the upper register on her last words, but she couldn't control it.

Kirk grasped her firmly on the arm. "He won't be as we knew him. Ever again. But some part of him does survive."

She came to her feet and paced across the room, shaking her head. "Where is it? He? What... whatever. What will happen to him? Can we communicate with him? Does he still have conscious thought? Does he know how badly we miss him?" She whirled toward Kirk. "Tell me, who has his katra?"

"Someone he was able to touch before he died. Dr. McCoy."

Sitting heavily beside him, she felt tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. Of course. Dr. McCoy. "So that's why he's been acting so odd."

"Yes. He doesn't even know what he's carrying around in his head."

She took a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm herself. "You haven't told him yet?"

"No. I came straight here and don't plan to call him until I know more. It gets complicated, Uhura. Normally, we would take McCoy to Vulcan and allow the adepts to untangle what's in his mind, but I learned something else startling from Sarek this evening."

She paused, almost afraid to hear it. "What?"

"Saavik and David Marcus found Spock's tube. I don't know any details yet, but evidently it soft-landed on the Genesis planet and is intact."

"I don't understand. What does that have to do with it?"

"Evidently, there's such a strong link between the body and the mind that we have to bring both Spock's body and Dr. McCoy to Vulcan. I'm on my way to see Morrow. Chekov and Sulu are meeting me there, and we're going to see if we can talk him into letting us have the Enterprise back. We're going to Genesis."

"I want to go, too."

"I knew you would. Right now, I want you to coordinate everything for us before we go. Call Scotty and see if he'll help. Call Vulcan and learn everything you can learn about katras. I'm sure that there will be more after I talk to Morrow."

"Okay. I'll take care of those things from here, and I'll be waiting for further word from you."

Kirk nodded and came to his feet. Before he could walk to the door, however, she rested her fingers on his arm. "Why did Spock's will say that he didn't want his body returned to Vulcan, if he was going to transfer his katra to Dr. McCoy?"

"I don't know. I wondered the same thing myself. Sarek thinks that he probably tried to leave final instructions with McCoy, but for some reason it didn't work. When we reviewed the tape, we saw very clearly that he told McCoy to 'remember' when he performed the meld. It was very quick. Spock was in a hurry."

"I know you need to go, but can you tell me what will happen next? What will become of Spock?"

"Sarek said that there's something on Vulcan called 'The Hall of Ancient Thought.' It's the final resting place for everyone's katra. On Vulcan, Spock's katra will be moved from McCoy to this hall, and his body will be consigned to the flames."

"So he'll still be lost to us."

He regarded her for a long moment. "Yes. He'll still be lost to us. But he'll have a future, and right now, I think that's a pretty incredible thing to expect."

Catching her lip between her teeth, she lowered her eyes. "You're right, it is. I guess I just got my hopes up for a few minutes." She grabbed his coat and handed it to him. "You need to go. I'll be here awaiting your call."

He nodded, then was gone. Leaning on the door after it closed behind him, she tried to sort out her thoughts. Was Spock dead, or was he not? Was it just a matter of interpretation? It was too much for her to comprehend right now. Kirk had told her to learn all there was to learn--maybe that was the best way to start trying to come to grips with this new development.

She hurried over to her computer and placed a call to Scotty.

* * * * * * * *

Peering through the window, Uhura waited impatiently for Kirk, Sulu, and McCoy. Chekov had called to tell her when Kirk and Sulu had successfully whisked the doctor out of the high-security area of Starfleet Medical, and she was so afraid that someone might have caught them. After all, Admiral Morrow had refused Kirk's request to go to Genesis, and then they'd heard that McCoy was locked up for trying to do the same on his own. Where were they? They should have been here ten minutes ago.

Finally, she saw three shadowy figures jog up her front walk, and she had the door open before they even reached her porch.

"Oh, thank heavens. Are you three all right?"

"Yes, we're fine." Kirk looked behind him as they slipped through the door. "Thanks for letting us come here to hide. I'm sure Starfleet Security is watching our homes by now."

She motioned for them to come further into the house. "I hope they don't think to check here. They might, you know."

Kirk nodded. "I know. We'll just have to keep the lights low and hope that everyone can get into place before it occurs to them to broaden the search. Did you reach Vulcan?"

"Yes, but Sarek had already squared it all away. He's on his way back now and will coordinate everything there. Scotty said that he'd take care of the Excelsior, and he and Chekov are going to meet us on the Enterprise at 0100 hours."

"Good."

As Uhura paused for breath, she noticed Sulu assisting a very shaky McCoy. She pulled her brows together as she watched the doctor, then slowly walked over to stand before him. His eyes were wide and confused, but if she tried very hard, she could imagine that she was looking into much darker eyes.

"Hello, Nyota." McCoy grinned weakly. "I understand I have something that might interest you."

She laughed, but it sounded more like a sob. "Yes. Yes, you do. Is he really there?"

"I believe so. Now that I understand, it's almost as if I can feel him. He's weak and disoriented, but he knows he doesn't belong here."

She swallowed and extended tentative fingers. "May I touch you?" she whispered.

"Yes."

Barely resting her fingertips on McCoy's cheek, she closed her eyes. She had never been able to initiate mental contact and knew that it would be no different now, but that didn't matter. Maybe Spock, wherever he was, would know and be comforted by her presence.

She felt a tear slip down her cheek but ignored it, instead concentrating on the simple feeling of her fingers against McCoy's skin. His face felt warm, almost fevered, and as they stood close to one another, his breathing became labored and shallow. Finally, she opened her eyes when she heard him gasp. His pupils were constricted, making his eyes look very blue even in this low light, and she felt him begin to tremble beneath her fingers.

Suddenly, he broke away, swaying and clutching his chest, and he would have collapsed if Kirk and Sulu hadn't caught him by either elbow.

"What? What is it?" she cried. "Are you all right, Doctor?"

Kirk eased him onto the sofa, and McCoy closed his eyes as he rested his elbows on his knees. "Yes." He gulped large breaths of air. "Yes, I'm all right now, but a moment ago I thought my chest would explode."

"Bones, do you have your medikit?" asked Kirk. "Do you need something?"

"No. Just give me a minute to recover. Whew." He looked up, searching out Uhura's eyes. "My heart rate increased until it almost equaled Spock's."

"Do you think it was because of me?" She sat close but was careful not to touch him.

"Yes. I do."

"I can't go with you, can I." It wasn't a question.

"I don't know that this would happen again, but..." McCoy shook his head. "Spock's will is so strong, Uhura. He's beginning to push at me, trying to assert himself. It's going to be hard enough for me to withstand the pressures, but if we were to add you to the equation, well, I think it might just be too much for me. I'm not that strong."

"You're stronger than you think you are, Doctor, but I understand."

She glanced up when Sulu sat beside her. "You can't stay here, Nyota. Where will you go?"

The answer was obvious. "Vulcan. I'll go to Vulcan and wait for you."

"Yes." Kirk began to pace. "After you beam us over to the ship, you'll have to leave immediately. However, it's possible that Starfleet will alert worldwide spaceport security to watch for you, and I'm not sure that trying to find a private flight is the answer either. After all, McCoy tried that, and look where it got him."

She shook her head. "Don't worry about me. I know what I can do. My sister and I don't look that much alike, but we're probably similar enough that I can travel as her. I'm not on duty for another twenty minutes. That should be enough time for me to call her. I'll have her purchase a ticket and meet me halfway, say in New York or Boston. She'll understand how important this is, and I'm sure she won't mind giving me her identification. I'll just leave my flitter at the spaceport, and hopefully no one will notice it until I'm long gone."

"Good plan." Kirk sighed. "I'm sorry that you can't come with us. I know how much you have at stake."

"Don't worry about me." She was already moving toward her computer. "You're right that I would rather be with all of you, but not at Dr. McCoy's expense. Maybe I can do more good on Vulcan, anyway. Even though I'm sure Sarek and Amanda have matters well in hand, this has to be tough for them. I'll see what I can do to help."

Kirk nodded, so she bent to her new task.

End chapter 1

The Kobayashi Maru III, chapter 2

Feeling as if she'd lived a lifetime in the past four days, Uhura walked out into the huge expanse of the ShiKahr Spaceport. The flight had seemed so very long, but she knew that it was due more to her state of mind than anything. During those solitary hours on the shuttle, she'd finally had time to think about everything, and although she didn't feel any closer to understanding, she had reached a sort of acceptance over the fact that some part of Spock would endure. It might endure on a separate plane than the rest of them, but it would endure.

She hefted her duffle higher onto her shoulder and considered her next move. She had brought no more than a change of clothing and some toiletries, but she supposed she shouldn't be too concerned about that right now. The important thing would be to make contact with Sarek and Amanda, and see what she could do to help. It would be good to sleep, too. Even though she'd slept quite a bit on the shuttle, she was still desperately tired. Squinting against the brightness streaming in from the large windows, she looked around to see if she could find a taxi service. What she found, however, was...

Amanda.

It had been years since she had seen Amanda, but there was no mistake. The older woman spotted her and walked gracefully in her direction, but Uhura could only stand rooted to her spot, disoriented by the shock of finding someone here to meet her. Had Kirk taken the time to contact Sarek once he boarded the Enterprise? If so, that was an awfully big risk. She recovered enough to smile as Amanda approached, but she was still at a loss for words.

"Welcome to Vulcan, Nyota. I'm so glad that you're here, safe and sound."

"Uh, thank you. I'm glad to be here." She accepted a genteel hug. "I'm afraid that I don't understand, though. How did you know I'd be here? Did Admiral Kirk call you?"

"Oh no." Amanda chuckled, but Uhura heard the strain in her voice. "I put two and two together on my own. You have all created quite an uproar, I'll have you know. Although it's being kept from the public media, we've been listening via the diplomatic channels as the story develops. When I heard that you had beamed the others onto the Enterprise and vanished, I deduced that you were probably on your way here. After that, it was simply a matter of checking the passenger rosters. I remembered Spock describing his visit to your sister, so the name 'Milele Ajali' jumped right out at me. Please, allow me to take you to our home."

Knowing that this was merely another twist on her recent emotional roller coaster ride, Uhura had to blink back tears of gratitude as she fell into step beside Amanda. "Thank you, Amanda. I'd love to go to your home."

"And I'm very happy to have you." Amanda seemed to wilt slightly. "It will be nice to have someone with me. Another human, especially someone so important to Spock. I'm afraid that Sarek is so caught up in everything that he hasn't had much time for me. And that's as it should be. There's much to be done, not only for Spock but for the friends who have risked everything to help him. I'm still trying to come to terms with Spock's death, and having someone who understands the terrible loss... my strong, beautiful son..."

Her voice faded, and Uhura knew that she was struggling to retain her composure. Giving her hand a quick squeeze, Uhura said, "I know. I know how difficult this is for you. It's hard to believe that he's gone. Maybe it will bring us all a measure of peace once his katra is installed in the Hall of Ancient Thought."

Amanda nodded. "Oh, I hope so. I hope so, for him as well as for us."

They fell silent as they exited the spaceport and walked toward Amanda's flitter.

* * * * * * * *

Much later that day, Uhura wandered down the back hall and leaned against the doorway to Spock's room. The entire house was such an interesting blend of Vulcan and human, and this room was no exception. Very plain and unadorned, the stark, unusual angles of the rooms and many of the furnishings contrasted sharply with the things Amanda had brought from Earth--a sofa, the painting on the wall over there, a bookcase full of old volumes. The effect wasn't displeasing, however, and it occurred to her that the house was very similar to Spock. Logically Vulcan in function and design, it nevertheless contained many unexpected human elements.

She moved into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Although there wasn't much here that resembled a human child's room--her own room, for example, probably still had a stuffed toy or two in the closet, or a dusty old swimming medal pinned to the wall--she tried to imagine a little boy coming into this room to read or play. The desk by the window looked like it had been there for years and years. Had he sat there as a child and studied? Gazed out at the garden and daydreamed when he should have been doing something else?

She looked up as Amanda came into the room carrying two steaming mugs of coffee.

"Thank you." Uhura accepted one of the cups and scooted over to make room. "This will hit the spot."

"I thought it might." Amanda sat down, her eyes distant as she looked around. "Isn't it pleasant in here? Calm and peaceful. Spock used to spend hours here as a boy, working on his projects, practicing his harp, exploring the computer. He used to fill up his arms with as many of my old books as he could carry, and I'd find him sitting in the middle of the bed, surrounded and utterly lost in whatever time and place the story had taken him to."

Uhura sipped the coffee, closing her eyes briefly with appreciation. Somehow, she felt safe and sheltered now. Maybe it was because this was something her own mother would have done, but when she looked up to see Amanda watching her with such obvious sympathy and compassion, she couldn't keep her feelings bottled up inside another moment. Knowing that she should be more discreet, the words nevertheless tumbled from her mouth.

"I loved him so, Amanda."

Amanda nodded gently. "I know. I can tell."

"For the past ten years, he and I had been so tentative around each other. Our friendship was always strong, but we never quite knew how to deal with our feelings. Then, when I became his first officer and we worked closely again---"

"The two of you were drawn back together."

"Yes. You're right. Did he tell you about it?"

"No, but I always knew that he would turn back to you."

"Really? Was it that obvious?"

"It was to me, dear. Even when you two were no longer together, I could see his awareness of you--where you were, what you were doing. Did you know that he and I had a big talk shortly before you and he ended your relationship? I thought that I had put his mind at ease about so many things, but evidently he decided that his concerns were too great. I was very unhappy when I heard that the two of you weren't together anymore."

Uhura frowned and looked down at the mug in her hands. "It wasn't him. It was me. I broke it off. I thought that there was just too much wrong between us."

Amanda was quiet for a long moment, but finally she said, "Then there probably was, so don't blame yourself. Maybe you both needed the last ten years to learn from your mistakes. I know that I'm prying, but as his mother I just have to know. Were the two of you happy at the end? Were his last months good?"

"We never got back together," Uhura said unsteadily. "He told me he wanted me back, but I never told him yes. The memory of what happened before was too painful. I see now that I made a terrible mistake, and I'd give anything, anything at all, to do it over again."

"Oh." Amanda looked away. "I'm sorry. I just thought... I assumed that he had found contentment with you, even if only for a short while."

Uhura leaned forward. She didn't know what she would say, but she couldn't stand knowing that she had let Amanda down. "Maybe his last months were good, Amanda. It's possible that I'm just trying to assuage my own guilt, but he seemed so sure of himself, so secure. Even though I was torn, he knew that he'd done the right thing. And we had many, many good hours together, regardless. Every night, even if there really wasn't anything for us to work on, we'd have a quiet cup of tea. We were together almost all the time, actually. I wish now that I had allowed us to take that one additional step that would have brought us closer, but really, we were almost there. He was happy."

"Thank you for telling me that, Nyota. It helps to know that he wasn't alone at the end of his life."

Uhura nodded, gradually realizing that what she had just told Amanda was true. There was no need for her to feel so guilty. She'd reacted normally, and Spock had understood that. Their last months together were good ones, and the fact that she never gave him an answer didn't detract from that. He had been confident that eventually she would say yes, and he was right. She would have.

"Tell me, Amanda," she said. "You know so much more about the inner workings of the Vulcan culture. Is there any way I can tell him all of this? Before his katra is taken from Dr. McCoy, or once he's in the Hall of Ancient Thought?"

Amanda took a deep breath. "Only the adepts can commune with the inhabitants of the Hall of Ancient thought. You'll have a hard time convincing them to give him your message unless you have a logical reason for it."

"I should be able to think of a logical argument. After all, I learned from a master how to mold logic to suit any purpose."

"Yes." Amanda laughed, finally sounding as if she truly felt like laughing. "Yes, I suppose you did."

Uhura smiled back, pleased that she had put Amanda's mind at ease. Before they could continue, however, Amanda looked up and the smile faded from her face.

Turning quickly, Uhura saw that Sarek stood in the doorway. "My wife," he said solemnly, "I have heard from Admiral Kirk. There has been an unexpected development."

Although his expression never changed, Uhura could see that he was troubled. "Here, let me leave you two alone," she said.

Amanda stilled her with a motion. "Is it about Spock, my husband?"

"Yes."

"Then Nyota should hear it, too."

His eyes wavered from Amanda to Uhura. Finally, he nodded. "Very well."

Uhura held her breath as Amanda asked, "Do they have Spock's body?"

"They do."

Sagging with relief, Uhura was aware that Amanda had done the same.

"That is not all, however. Brace yourself, my wife." He carefully clasped his hands before him. "His body lives."

Uhura frowned, not sure she understood. She quickly met Amanda's eyes and saw the same sense of stunned disbelief. Finding her voice first, she asked, "I'm sorry, Ambassador. What do you mean?"

"Just what I said. His body lives. It breathes. It circulates blood. It moves. But it is not him. It is merely a shell. You are both aware of the project Genesis, are you not?" He waited until they nodded. "It would appear that his remains were caught in the Genesis wave. According to Lieutenant Saavik, he was a child when she discovered him. Before they could leave the planet, he had aged considerably."

Uhura had to grasp the bedspread with both hands to steady herself as she tried to comprehend, but Sarek had still more to tell them.

"They were ambushed by Klingons who were searching for the secret of Genesis. A battle ensued, and the Enterprise was destroyed. A young scientist by the name of David Marcus was killed, as well. Kirk and company were able to commandeer a Klingon Bird of Prey, and they are en route. Estimated time of arrival is 2100 hours day after tomorrow."

Closing her eyes, Amanda rubbed a trembling hand across her forehead. "Sarek, what does it mean?"

"It means, Amanda, that we must consider the fal tor pan. The refusion."

Amanda nodded with apparent understanding, but Uhura was lost. "What's the refusion?" she cried.

His eyes tormented, Sarek turned to her and said, "The rejoining of his mind and body. Our son, returned to us, whole once again."

Uhura could only stare, open-mouthed, as Sarek's words echoed through her mind.

* * * * * * * *

The plain was utterly still and silent as they waited. Almost as one, the people gazed upward, watching for movement among the many points of light that dotted the sky. Uhura's eyes ached from the parching dryness of the night air, but she didn't want to look away long enough even to blink.

Finally, she saw it.

Descending upon them like a fearsome prehistoric creature, the Bird of Prey kicked up dust devils that whirled and surrounded them all. She watched it slowly settle in the dirt, and her heart pounded as the hatch opened. There. There they were. Tiny and insignificant in the shadow of the immense ship and the even more immense mountain, the group stood poised at the top of the ramp.

Feigning a confidence she did not feel, Uhura strode out to greet them. They looked as if they had been to Hell and back, and when she met Kirk's eyes, she saw everything she felt reflected there. Pain, exhaustion, joy, hope, hopelessness... She moved unwaveringly into his arms and closed her eyes when she felt his strong grip encircle her. She was all too aware of the still figure on the stretcher, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to actually look at him yet, afraid that she might simply fall apart if she did so.

When Kirk released her, she exchanged a quick glance with Saavik, who stepped away so that Uhura could take her place. They were moving now, moving toward the steps that would lead them up the side of Mount Seleya. Uhura concentrated on securing her grip on the stretcher and falling into step with the others.

Finally, she steeled herself and looked down, and saw... Spock. It was Spock. Tears gathered in her eyes, but they evaporated just as quickly. His hair was long and unkept, and he had lines on his face that hadn't been there before, but it was him. She never thought that she would see his face again, but here he was, so close that she could touch him.

Spock.

She whispered his name, unaware that she had even done so.

End chapter 2

The Kobayashi Maru III, chapter 3

Rubbing her eyes, Uhura squinted up into the hazy red sky. It was hard to believe that the sun had finally begun to rise. She had sat here on the hard ground all night long, and she had long since forgotten the numbing chill that crept all the way to her bones. Instead, her attention had remained focused on the quiet drama before her. At one elbow lay Scotty, snoring lightly, and at the other sat Saavik, her eyes closed as she tapped into the mental energy that filled the air. Even though Uhura was thoroughly mind-blind, she fancied that she could feel it herself, crackling and humming and making the small hairs on her arms stand on end.

She jumped at the sound of a mallet striking a tremendous gong. Around her, the others stirred, and she wondered what was happening as she struggled stiffly to her feet.

McCoy came down first, escorted by Sarek. His face drawn, he approached Admiral Kirk and murmured, "I'm all right, Jim."

She smiled gently but craned her neck to see beyond him. A tall figure stood up on the platform, covered from head to toe with a shapeless white robe. He was surrounded by the adepts, but of course she knew just from looking at his back exactly who he was. She would recognize the set of those shoulders anywhere. She must have dozed off after all, for she certainly hadn't seen him rise from the stone pallet.

His head bowed, he turned and walked their way. She held her breath, expecting something momentous to happen, but he simply passed them without looking up. He didn't acknowledge them. He didn't even seem to notice them. Her face crumpled as she watched his back recede.

Before he had moved out of the area, however, he paused. The adepts who accompanied him took a step beyond, not realizing at first that he was no longer with them, but they did not react.

Slowly, he turned and pushed the hood away from his face.

Although his eyes were sharp and alert, she could tell by the expression on his face that he was lost, unsure and searching for answers. More than anything, she wanted to throw her arms around him, to hug him or to simply grasp his shoulders and force him to understand, but she remained rooted to her spot.

He moved in their direction. Walking down the line, he inspected Saavik's face, but Uhura saw no recognition in his expression. It broke her heart that he would look at Saavik with such total noncomprehension, but it was clear that he didn't have a clue who she was. When he continued on to Scotty, it was the same--not a hint of familiarity in his eyes.

Another step, and he looked at her. Although she didn't say a word, she begged him, pleaded with him to know her, to remember her and gaze at her with the softness and devotion she'd seen in his eyes so many times before. Before she knew it, however, he was gone. She watched as he studied Chekov with the curiosity he might bestow upon an insect on an alien world, and finally she slumped and turned away.

"My father says that you have been my friend," he said.

She whirled to find that he was addressing Kirk. Please, she hoped. Be Spock. Be Spock, and not some stranger nobody knows.

"You came back for me," he continued.

"You would have done the same for me," replied Kirk.

"Why would you do this?"

"Because the needs of the one outweighed the needs of the many."

Clearly, that phrase was supposed to hold a hidden meaning, but it was also clear that Spock didn't understand. He turned away, and Uhura saw Kirk's muscles tense as he checked his urge to follow.

Before Spock left, however, a glimmer of... something... flickered across his face. He turned back toward Kirk, his struggle evident. "I have been, and ever shall be, your friend."

"Yes. Yes, Spock."

Spock blinked, and she felt her heart beat faster as he took another step toward the Admiral. "The ship--out of danger?"

"You saved the ship. You saved us all! Don't you remember?"

Spock dropped his eyes, and she knew that he was deeply troubled. She stood frozen, not daring to interrupt, hardly daring to breathe.

Finally, he looked back up at Kirk. Triumph in his voice, he said, "Jim. Your name is Jim."

"Yes."

Kirk smiled, and Uhura felt a huge smile spread across her own face. The next thing she knew, Spock had turned toward them. He still didn't seem to quite grasp who they were, but Uhura didn't care. The cold distance was gone. Gone! The man who stood before her was Spock.

She rushed toward him, surrounded by her friends. Although she wanted to pull him close, she knew that he'd be overwhelmed by such a response. Instead, she contented herself by resting a trembling hand on his arm.

Her eyes stinging, she murmured, "Oh, Spock. Welcome back."

He met her eyes briefly, and she knew he had heard her. He didn't respond, but that didn't matter.

He was back.

End part 3