Disclaimers: I'm a poor homeless beggar who can't afford to be
sued....I don't own anything, got it?
For You Info: I didn't have time to edit this, but it's here anyway,
enjoy!
The Barn Raising (Part 2)
By Misaki
Still in the dull praries of South Dakota
"Oh, 1,097,238 bottles of Old Milwakee on the
wall...1,097,238 bottles of OId Milwakee on the wall...
take one down pass it around": The 4 sang, Liu waited for Johnny
to pass him a can of Old Milwakee but Johnny ignored him.
"Johnny, the song says pass it around!" Liu cried
"Yes, but it also says: Old Milwakee on the wall, and as you
can see, there is no possible way to get Old Milwakee on the wall
and make it stay long enough to take it down and pass it around!"
Johnny yelled
"Fine." Liu said between clenched teeth opening his cooler, he
took out a can of Huesseins Iraqee Wacky Explode In Your Mouth
Beer.
"Liu how could you!?! How could anyone commit such a
sin!?!" Johnny pointed an accusing finger at him,"You shall be
punished, Liu. That's like the #1 Commandment: Thou shall not
drink any beer but thy holy Old Milwakee."
"Or Old Milwakee Lite." Sonya added
"Or Old Milwakee Lite." Johnny corrected himself, he
watched Liu think over what to do. Astounded, Johnny watched
Liu pop the top and take a drink of his Husseins Iraqee Wacky
Explode In Your Mouth Beer.
A small sound of explosion was heard. Liu opened his mouth
to speak but it was pitch black.. "A little hot and spicy but I'll get
used to it." Liu told them.
Johnny looked at Liu with icy eyes, "Liu, God will punish
you."
Liu shrugged and took another drink. As soon as his lips
touched the can, the ground started to rumble, the sound of thunder
was growling in the distance.
The horse was startled, and suddenly sprinted up the hill, with
the wagon. Liu's can of Hussein's Iraqee Wacky Explode In Your
Mouth Beer slipped from his hand. Struggling to catch the can, he
slipped himself.
By now a enourmous heard of mad cows could be seen
emerging from the uprising dust. Liu looked up from the ground
just in time to see the mad cows trompling over him.
"No! No! I don' t want mad cow disease!" Liu screamed
Kitana, Sonya, and Johnny watched from the wagon.
Sonya spoke up, "Ya think we should help him?"
Johnny thought for a long moment as Liu's girlish scream
filled the whole what-would-be-quiet atmosphere.
"Nah. He broke the most important commandment. God is
punishing him. It could be sinning to get in the way of God's
work." Johnny pointed out. Sonya and Kit nodded in agreement.
Liu's screams died down as the stampede faded in the
distance.
"Now should we help him?" Sonya asked Johnny
"Nah, it'll be fun to watch the look on his face when he
realizes his friends ditched him." Johnny grinned.
"That's kinda cruel....let's do it!" Kitana exclaimed. She
picked up the reins and drove the wagon behind a house and out of
sight.
Liu picked up his head from the ground. Searching the plains,
he found neither Johnny, Sonya, or Kit. With dawning horror he
realized what happened.
"No! No! They ditched me! How could they?!? I'm gonna die
now!" Liu fell to his knees. He put his cheek to the ground. Tears
started to pur out of his eyes, "No! No!"
Liu raised a clenched fist to the air and shouted, "Cursed be
the day I drankother than Old Milwakee!"
Liu turned around as he heard clapping behind him.
"I give the performance 4 on a 4 star rating system." he heard
the unmistakable voice of Johnny Cage.
Liu turned around, his face lit up, "Really?" he asked
enthusiastically.
Johnny nodded.
Liu jumped to his feet, " I'd like to thank my friends, my
family, and those monks; dude I love you guys. And those people
who spent their day making those quilted pouches in Bounty's
Quilted Picker Upper; I couldn't have done it without you!"
Liu griped a little, then stood up and scanned the area,
"Where's the wagon?"
Johnny looked around, "It was right...here. But it isn't
anymore I guess."
Sonya looked around then turned to Johnny, "You idiot! You
lost the wagon."
"It's not my fault!" Johnny shouted
Johnny and Sonya were at each other's throats. Liu and Kit
just watched for a while. After getting bored, Kit shouted at the top
of her lungs, "STOP IT!"
Johnny and Sonya both stopped and looked at her.
"We need to start walking."
Sonya shrugged her shoulders and walked in front of Johnny
who pulled her back and declared, "I will lead us to the barn
raising."
Sonya laughed, "Yeah right. Next you'll get us lost. I'm
leading us."
"Na,uh! I am!"
"No, you aren't."
"Yes, I am."
Kitana and Liu shook their heads and started walking forward
leaving Johnny & Sonya behind arguing about who would lead.
***
Reaching the Barn Raising
"Some friends. I can't believe you ditched us." Sonya
complained
"We didn't want to inturrupt." Liu explained
Furious Johnny grabbed the collar of Liu's shirt, "Inturrupt?
Inturrupt? You leave your best friend in the desert with his highly
abusive at times wife, just so you won't inturrupt!?!" Johnny
screamed
Liu gulped , "Abusive?"
Johnny nodded, turning his face so Liu could see his black
eye.
"That's a pre--pretty bad wound th--there."
Johnny shook his head, "I'm just lucky she didn't have a
weapon of any sort, she can do damage with about anything. Dude,
be careful around her."
Liu nodded slowly.
"Good, she can be very dangerous." Johnny said then
whispered, "Especially with ham."
Liu gulped again, "Ham?"
Johnny nodded as Sonya emerged holding 2 unidentifiable
objects. Shivering, Liu stepped behind Johnny.
"Hey guys!" Sonya called as she approached, "Which kind of
ham do you want? The one dinned in barbecue sauce or the one
that's....not?" she asked holding the hams up
"Ah! Omigod! Run for your life! She's got ham!" Liu
screamed, running in the house.
***
In the house
Kitana splashed more water on Liu's face. No sooner did the
water hit Liu's face than he began to gain consciousness, "No
Jennifer, you're way too good for Mark. He's just going to break
your heart," he mumbled.
Sonya looked at Kitana worried.
"Daytime soaps." Kitana explained.
"Wake up!" Sonya yelled kicking his head.
"Ow! Why'd ya do that?" Liu demanded
"Now that was horrible acting." Johnny commented.
"Man, the gaining consciousness, right?" Liu asked
"No! I just disagree with your opinion about Mark and
Jennifer."
"Shut up!"
***
Beginning to Raise the Barn
"Johnny what do we do now?" Liu asked staring at the barn's
frame
"Uh..raise it? It's a barn raising, right?" Johnny asked
uncertain.
"Johnny that don't like a barn. It looks like...uh...wood put
together." Liu explained.
"We gotta tell Gilbert his barn looks like crap. Now give me a
hand Liu."
Liu was confused, "Why?"
Rolling his eyes Johnny smacked Liu in the back of
his head, "Raise the barn!"
"Uh, therefore lack of. But anyhoo, aren't we supposed to wait
for the other guys?" Liu asked
"No! We don't need them. Now help me!" Johnny exclaimed
attempting to lift the barn frame.
Shrugging his shoulders Liu took the other side of the frame.
When it was about 3/4 of the way something caught Johnny's
eye
"Oh! A penny!" Johnny exclaimed, dropping his side of the
board he picked up the brand new penny, "I'm gonna show this to
Sonya!"
Leaving Liu Johnny ran off into the little cabin, where Sonya
was.
"JOHNNY! WAIT! COME--" Liu accidentally dropped the
frame on top of him!
Trying to free himself, Liu tried to crawl out from under the
frame. Unfortunatley for Liu, the monks in China never told him
what to do in a barn raising mishap.
To Be Continued.....