 Zen And The Art Of Dice Maintenance
Dice. In the beginning, was the die.
A simple cubic fellow indigenous
to almost all households, and understood by all. Then came D&D©
etc., and a whole new breed developed, and spread, albeit slowly, across
the land, finding shelter in places best forgotten, until they eventually
appeared as the diverse species we now know and love. I’m sure we all remember
trying to get to grips with our first RPG, asking ‘Do I roll the green
one now, or is it that stupid triangular one?. At the start of a session,
novices are normally confronted by a table-full of established players
pulling improbable numbers of dice from even more improbable containers,
shouting ‘Has anyone got my red dee-ten ? It’s my punk dice, and I’m gonna
need it this week.’ On pointing out that the player in question has at
least three red d10 in front of them, the reply of ‘It’s my punk
dice!, don’t you understand ?’ doesn’t normally help, until the convert
has played a few sessions and then faced one of the rites-of-passage from
neonate to player:
Buying Dice.
The first problem faced by the prospective dice-buyer is where
to get them. Walking into the local toy shop on a busy Saturday normally
elicits the following conversation;
‘Excuse me, do you have any dice ?’
‘Sure, single, or box of three ?’ (produces d6 in four colours, two
sizes.)
‘No, role-playing dice, the ones with lots of sides.’
‘Huh ?’
‘The ones for D&D.’
‘Huh ?’
‘You see those books over there ? The game-books ? You need dice to
play them.’
‘We have dice. Single or pack of three ?’
‘Hold on,’, novice spots tray of brightly coloured lumps of plastic.
‘there’s a tray over there. Do you know which I need ?’
‘Oh, those things. Always wondered what they were for. They’re 50p
each.’
‘Which do I need ?’
‘Huh ?’
This normally continues until the novice walks out, confused,
or buys a random selection of dice that they don’t need. Specialist games shops
are not much better, with handfuls of spotty
kids hanging around waiting to snigger at each question or mistake and
assistants either patronisingly understanding to the point of slapping
them or effectively non-existent. These places will have large trays holding
every type of dice you don’t need, sorted by colour, size, style and usefulness,
priced from 10p (small 6-siders) to £2 (glittery, inked, high-impact-plastic
polyhedra), with specials (d100, glittery d30, steel) being up to £3.
Add the dice for weather, reactions, treasure, colour of underwear, etc.
and there is a mind-numbing selection. The first piece of advice, in large
friendly letters, is
Don't
Panic !
This done, ask one of the players in your game just which dice
you need, and then go to the shop and say in a loud, clear voice ;
‘I would like to buy some dice. In fact, I think I’ll have
two marbled dee-fore and a pink twenty-sider, if you please.’ After a few sessions with your new toys, it should become clear
which dice you need to buy more of, which always roll badly and have to
be replaced and which are the wrong colour. Colour selection is important for
two reasons; Firstly, identification. But more importantly aesthetics. A dice
pool should not just be a collection of dice on the table, but should add a
certain quality to the surroundings. Whether they be a consistent colour, a
selection of contrasts or colour-by-size, a little thought will make all the
difference.
Storage / Transport
Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of 15-20 dice
! The next problem is what to do with them while they are not being used
to vanquish enemies, solve riddles and rescue fair maidens. Just as rule-books
need to be kept in good condition and character sheets should be neatly
filed in a ring binder with all of their relevant info.,( ? - Ed)
dice need a good home. For best results, two containers are needed, one
for storage, one for transport. The first of these has to be large enough
to hold at least twice as many dice as you own, solid and decorated in
the fashion of one of your characters. (I use a large tin coated with radioactive
warning tape. It doubles as a Cyber Punk prop.) It will be used to keep
the dice clean, free from dust and static and easy to find (It may be helpful
to write ‘Dice’ on the outside). While in this box, the dice are inactive,
and may be treated with a little less care than active dice (in your transport
container), although some care must be taken to maintain their reliability.
For taking your chosen dice to the game a second container
is vitally important, as improper treatment of active dice can impair their
performance. The current fashion (always a good back-up if you run out
of ideas.) is for a medieval draw-string purse, which fulfills the main
criteria of portability, ease of use and identifiability. (On no account
write either ‘Dice’ or your name on this transport container. ‘R.N.G.’
or ‘Knucklebones’ are the nearest acceptable labels). These purses are
available in a variety of materials and sizes, from small cloth bags to
leather purse to chain mail bags. Other tried-and-tested options include
pencil cases (also useful for carrying pens, pencils, etc.), cigar tubes
(if you only need a few dice) and small glass jars (Be Careful !). Whatever
you choose, care must be taken while in transit. Do not subject them to
sharp knocks, extremes of temperature or anything sticky. Cleaning dice
will remove the layer of probablite that builds up during normal use, reducing
their effectiveness.
At The Game.
So, armed with your dice, you arrive at the battle-board, lay
out your sheets and tip your dice onto the table. Now what ?
There are several schools of thought about the best way to
treat dice during a game. Two that I feel to be at best a waste are the
‘d20 ? Yeah, I’ve got one somewhere.’ and ‘Tower of Babel’ theories. The
first relies on a complete faith in the Gods not only to provide the required
roll, but to help find the dice themselves. Followers of this school are
often seen rummaging through a pile of assorted dice trying to locate their
special ‘Role Master attack’ dice, and have to make do with two Cthulu
skill dice. Some are even known to use the first dice of the required size,
without considering its suitability for the occasion ! (Warning! This is
only acceptable practice for complete novices and GMs, who are prone to
ignore the roll anyway.) Babel scholars find great enlightenment in piling
all of their dice on top of each other until the stack collapses, under
the misguided impression that they will have benefited from the higher
altitude. The two remaining schools have conflicting ideas, with one asserting
that dice left showing a certain score will ‘wear out’ that roll, leaving
the other sides to catch up when they are rolled. I subscribe to a regime
of training, where dice left showing sixes (or tens, or ones) will get
used to being that way up, and try to return to that position when disturbed.
A variation on these two teaches that rolling the dice until a run of a
certain number/range will ensure that range again / guarantee a different
roll. Pick a theory, and be prepared to defend it.
When The Shooting Stops
At the end of a session, the most important thing is to reclaim
all of your dice. This may sound straight forward enough, but did you have
two d12 or three, and what happened to the d20 that the GM borrowed ? (One
of the great mysteries of RPG dice is that no matter how careful you are,
after a few sessions your collection will contain three dice that you know
are not yours, and at least two of your secondary set will be missing.)
Having rounded up as many as you can find, place them carefully in your
transit bag and return them to long-term storage. You may wish to take
this opportunity to re-arrange your dice, deactivating less popular dice
in favour of some that haven’t been used for a while and may be losing
that competitive edge.
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Author: Mad Dwarf
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