Teen Testimonies 1
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New Life
When I was about thirteen I was a normal thirteen year old male. I hung out with my friends, became interested in girls and normal boy stuff. At that time I did not know that the next few years would be the most important time in my life. I was just starting a new school without any of my good friends. As the year went on I was full of doubts and questions. "Did anyone like me?" and "Did anyone even notice me?", these are just some of the questions that I asked myself. At that time popularity was the only thing that mattered in my life. I became self-centered and isolated. As the years progressed I had the natural sense of rebellion in me. I went against authority and coming from a catholic school I rebelled against the God as many young catholic school graduates do.
I never really liked the idea of God that school taught me. To me it was boring and seemed a little far of. Only old people went to church, church was boring, so most Sundays I rebelled against going to church and daydreamed in church. I went along with every thing that was done in church and Sunday school because everyone else did.
The next thing that I noticed was that I was not acting like myself. I imitated others because I began to get a sense of fitting in. This feeling of "happiness" was not real which I did not realize because I have not felt real happiness since childhood. The next two years progressed slowly and I was in a state of blur. Everything in my life was centered around me.
During this time my grandfather contracted cancer. The cancer required surgery and the sad fact of this the fact that I did not really notice because I was too busy in my own little world. Everyone had to revolve around me or I threw a fit. Unknown to me at the time I would under go huge changes during the next year.
At the age of fifteen I was young and stupid. I was still the center of the world, but started to feel better about myself. The feeling I know today was fake, the only reason that I started to feel better was because I was being noticed by others. I acted different around others to please them not myself. I had undergone a huge change over the past few years. With the lack of friends at my new school I was in search of fitting in. I never really fit in "a group", but I tried. This act of trying would almost drive me over the edge.
During this year I tried allot to fit in. As I watched the crowd and what they did to fit in I attempted to mock them in order to fit in. During the course of the year I suddenly hit the dangers of the real world. I had my first experiences with alcohol, sex and marijuana. This year ruined allot of things for me. I did not even turn to take a look back at what I have done. I lowered myself to the level of the people that four years ago I looked down upon but now "I fit in!". This attitude lasted awhile, but I got mixed in with the wrong person.
This time I can honestly say was the hardest time in my life. Even though I thought that I started to become "cool", I again isolated myself and the world started to revolve around me again. My mind was in inner turmoil during this time, my grades began to drop and I started to become depressed. This was the darkest time in my life. I felt that there was no way out. I was stuck in a never ending limbo of pain, hell! All of this time I felt that I was starting to become "cool", but I again felt alone and isolated. I had uncontrollable paranoia and was not able to control my own feelings or life. Many times I complemplated suicide even to the extent of having a loaded gun in my hand, ever so close to trying. One day during the climax of these feelings I wrote the most important letter of my life, my wish to live. After a few months I broke away from this person.
The next few months were the turning point of my life. I still felt alone was very confused. I did not know how to act around normal people or how to act around the world. I was slowly learning how to take back my life, with the help and love of my family. My life was still in limbo, the only difference was that I now had a will to live. I questioned everything in life and currently did not have a belief in God. I tried to explain the mysteries of the universe that never could be explained, unable to do this my life was still very sad. Literally one day I awoke in the morning and was a changed man! I suddenly had a feeling of warmth and comfort. I started to look at each day with a new hope and ambition, but I was still missing something very important.
The new school year began and I (now sixteen) was thrilled. I felt like it was a new beginning for me, and it was. The following year I chose to enroll in an advanced program at school, for some unknown reason. I knew that this program was going to be hard, but I had something to prove to myself. In my new classes I meet a very special person. When we started talking I felt like I had known her forever. There was something magical between us. Since that special day in my life many things have happened. She introduced me to God. For the first time in my life I went to church because I wanted to. I was not bored but intrigued. As I learned more I began to make connections to my past. I walked the road of life alone and got lost in the hellish night. That one monumental morning when my life was changed God reused me. He blessed me with this very special person who has completed me. I have learned more about God and see his miracles every day.
Today I realize all of the miracles that God performed in my life even when I was lost in the dark. He never let me stray I could have easily taken the wrong path, or have been dead, but I was saved. He kept my grandfather well so that I could get to know him when I grew out of my selfish stage in life. Today the special person that changed my life and I are growing closer together with God. We face many problems each day, but with each other and faith we survive. We will survivor together through everything for the rest of our lives.
Every day problems arise and many people are defeated by these problems. As I look out upon the world today I see many people in the same situation or potential situation that I was in. Sadly I also see many people that were defeated by the troubles of life. I have learned that faith can move mountains. Everyone should take the time to learn about God and experience the improvement in their life. I hope that this story will change just one person. These events may seem to be nothing, some things happened to me in my life that rescued me. They were miracles without them I would not be here today. Please listen to this story.
17 year old male