Welcome to my head. Actually, this is just my memory of my interpretation of a few things that came from --and may grant insight to-- my great, throbbing orb (my head, sicko). In other words, here are some dreams I've had.

I just wanted to play with my zoo guys. There was an elephant, a tiger, a giraffe, some dinosaurs from somewhere, and a wobbly zebra. We lived with my mom's new husband and his mom in a trailer, so there wasn't a whole lot of room, but I found space in the area between the living room and the kitchen, where the carpet turned to faux-tile vinyl. I arranged my menagerie on the scored vinyl, struggling with the zebra. Its base was bent and chewed, fallen victim to the dog, and it just wouldn't stay up.

Reaching for the rogue plastic beast, I caught a flicker of movement at the edge of my vision. Glancing up, I saw my black rubber snake, usually identical to those that filled dollar-store bins throughout the nation. Those snakes had eyes of cheap, painted rubber, as did mine the last time I saw it. Now however, my snake's eyes gleamed with the light of life and hunger as it hurled across the coffee table, toward me.

My eyes flew open and my jaw clicked shut, the hand on the zebra closing around that toy and settling to the ground. In an instant, life fled from the snake and left it hanging, two thirds of its length beyond the edge of the table. I watched it slip over the edge and land in a pile of inanimate rubber on the carpeting.

For a moment I sat stunned and breathless, not even twitching. My diaphragm kicking in, I resumed breathing with great gulps of air, staring at the toy as though it were still possessed.

Dream Two: Damned Raccoons. Age 7?

The day is bright and warm. Look at that shining sun and the soft green grass. There's my house, squat and blue like a fat wooden smurf. Why don't we go out back?

Well look at this! There's a garden back here. This wasn't here before. Look at all the animals! There's a fawn and some bunnies, birds, and a cute little black and gray raccoon. I love raccoons. But why are all these adorable little animals giving me such funny looks? The dead, flat stare certainly is disconcerting.

NO MR. RACCOON, NOOOOO!!! Oh, the pain...These animals, so cute, so harmless, yet I find myself dismembered like a rag doll in a combine. Finally, the darkness comes.

Light seeps into my vision. Are my eyes opening? Nope, they've been open for a while, wide open, staring at nothing. My vision relocates a few feet forward, and I see my severed head sitting on top of a tree stump in the garden, Mr. Raccoon and his friends frolicking happily, oblivious to my fading presence. Settling back behind my eyes, I feel the choke reflex in what's left of my throat, and watch a wet red ball tumble from my mouth in a wash of blood.

The world fades to black, and I wonder:

My Adam's apple?

Dream Three: 'Bye. Recurring, 7-11

Black & White: The cast of Bewitched stands around a Ford Model T, waving as they grow smaller in the distance.

Soon to come: Aboveboard, Statuesque, Mobile Home Magic, and Attack!