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The buffet
is to the left and the bar to the right. Virtual food and drink. Isn't it
wonderful?
Limited only by your imagination and carrying no fat, no calories, no guilt and no
hangover.
The downside is that it has no nutritional value either!
"The Gator
Band"
"Hey man, it's cool, I'm with the band!"
My space for Questions,
Comments and Observations!
Have you ever swung on a star?
Didn't that burn your fingers?
That's life!
The Question Session!
Heartfelt regrets to those who lost loved
ones during the events of September 11, 2001
As we approach the one year anniversary of the WTC disaster, let us remember that we made
a promise
that those who perished shall be avenged!
The thoughts and prayers of the world are with you!
It's tragic that it took such a horrific event to finally get our attention focused on the
problem of terrorism throughout the world!
We should also remember that we are all still living under the shadow of Osama bin-Laden's
actions.
We live in a different world. Because of this madman's actions we have had our own
freedoms severely curtailed.
Thanks to the events of 9/11/2001 BIG BROTHER has assumed a much larger presence in our
lives.
That, in my humble opinion, is the single largest tragedy to emerge from the events on
that day!
America - The land of the shrinking freedoms.
Why don't the lottery systems make the awards for lower number combinations more attractive? Take a million or two off the top award and make the payoff for four and five numbers more attractive. It would help increase sales and stimulate the economy more by spreading the cash over a broader base. When the top prize reaches 40 or 50 million take ten million of it and increase the payoffs for 3,4 or 5 numbers. Then thousands of people might be able to pay off bills, send the kids to college or buy that new car they need.
Occasionally I just have to ask these questions or sling a comment..
It's a Sixties thing.
If you disagree? Well, you know what they say about opinions.
My comments on current events!
Wow!
Isn't it a shame that those of you who voted for President Bush are just now discovering
the true nature of the beast!
The "good ole boys" certainly won that round. Don't forget just who the
Governor of Texas was when most of ENRON'S scandalous behavior was taking place. Has
anyone found out how much ENRON stock the Bush's owned?
I can damn near guarantee you that they did own some!
My next question is whether they got rid of theirs before the fall?
Airport Security? I think
not!
Well, the airlines can kiss my
patronage goodbye.
Mostly because of the idiotic security measures that the new federalized personnel
enforce with unerring stupidity.
I recently flew to Seattle,WA from Akron,OH. I went through a thorough scan
and search in Akron before boarding my first flight. I then had to change planes in
Chicago with a three hour lay-over between flights. Since I am a smoker and O'Hare
has a total non-smoking policy in it's terminal, I went out front to have a
cigarette. This meant that I had to re-enter through security. I asked a young
lady working security to please hand search my wallet, which they did in Akron,OH.
The reason for this is that I've experienced a complete erasure of the data strips on all
my credit cards on a previous trip and had to endure the hassle and expense of having them
all replaced.
The young woman told me that wasn't possible and handed me off to a colleague to
have an intensive search of my luggage done and a body search with a paddle. I asked
politely that she turn over my wallet to the young man. She refused, and without my
permission, she placed my wallet in a basket and ran it through the scanner against my
express wishes. Why did she have to do this when her colleague was going to remove
everything from my carry on baggage anyway?
When I the young lady if she understood plain English, she became upset.
DUH! I spent the next thirty minutes being checked down to my bare feet and
having everything in my luggage swabbed and analyzed. These are the same idiots who
can't hand search a simple wallet? I then spent an additional fifteen minutes
speaking about the incident with two FAA employees who also convinced me that they didn't
have a clue as to the realities of security. This situation is ridiculous! I
really fit the profile of a terrorist? I think not. I'm 52, caucasian, an
American citizen by birth, and I have impeccable identification and credentials.
They also had absolutely nothing on which to base a search of this nature as I had nothing
in my carry-on luggage that they questioned in any way. Although several of the
items, including a miniature mag-lite and a container of powdered coffee creamer, should
have been questioned if they were really interested in doing anything other than exerting
their authority.
I have a severe problem with people who exert their authority just because they
know you have no recourse. I recently flew to Japan and back and the security was
tight, but it was not performed by stupid idiots who were hired to fulfill a need for warm
bodies. From now on if I'm traveling domestically I'll rent a car. Even if it
means driving across the entire country. The airlines can eat the loss of the
considerable amount of money I used to spend on flights.
If I was really determined to bring down an aircraft, even the extremely ludicrous,
window dressing security now in place could not stop me. I know how to make
non-metallic weapons and know enough about aircraft to succeed. This present system
is in sore need of reassessment and revamping.. The passengers on a flight will not
allow another situation like that which occurred on 9/11 to succeed. The present
system is solely designed to assuage the fears of the general public, most of whom are to
ignorant to realize the difference between real security and the sham that is now in
place. Therefore, I believe we will see a lot of airlines biting the dust in the
near future unless they come to a happy medium with the new security forces who act more
like gestapo agents than security personnel. My advice is to invest in rental car
agencies as I'm sure many other people will refuse to tolerate the moronic attitude of the
"federalized" security protocols now in place.
I recently saw a car commercial in which a young lady was comparing
her automobile to the offices most people work in. Her comment was that while most
people wanted a corner office with windows, she had an office with windows that cornered.
I resemble that remark.
"Sunny-side Up on
the plus+side"
"Although I have not lived as large as some, I have lived larger than
many!"
The attraction of the road is like a
magnet to those of us afflicted with the wanderlust.
Here are some of the moments that make it all worthwhile for me.
The beauty of the sunrises and sunsets with a shifting panorama of backdrops.
Dusk is nearing and a herd of deer are standing knee deep in the
dense fog that covers a meadow beside the road.
Lying in the desert fifty miles from the nearest light, listening to the coyotes in the
distance while watching the Milky Way whirl across the sky, discarding bits that fall to
us as shooting stars, while listening to a background sound track provided by a symphony
of subtle night noises and savoring the mysterious aromas wafting on the desert night air.
Watching tornadoes race you across the prairie and praying that they don't turn your way!
Walking the ridge lines along the Appalachian Trail in North Carolina and just
remembering........!
The beauty of driving through falling snow by headlight and watching the snow snakes slither their way across the road ahead of you. Providing the windshield wipers haven't frozen up and the defroster can keep the ice clear.
Coming down the switchbacks above Hoover Dam!
Topping the final rise on U.S.93 and watching the lights of Las Vegas spread
across the valley like jewels!
The power of the wind and the majesty of the Columbia River Gorge!
Watching a dawn at Bridal Veil Falls in Yosemite National Park and dreaming about what it
must have been like to live there before the advent of our so called civilization! I
could have really gotten into that!
Fireflies in profusion over a meadow in Ohio at dusk.
Finding that rest area with the lovely mountain stream that, if you are lucky, will yield
a couple of succulent trout to toss on the grill.
Driving across Hoover Dam any time of day or night.
This never fails to impress me, no matter how often I do it.
Watching the Rocky Mountains rear their peaks on the horizon as you drive across the Great Plains.
The aroma of the feedyards in Amarillo, TX or Grand Island,
NE. Not a favorite, but it let's you know your alive and wishing you were somewhere
else! Now I know why cattle haulers have no sense of smell.
The site of ruby taillights and crystal headlamps strung across the desert for fifty miles
before me or draping a mountain darkness like a string of scintillating jewels.
The faceless voices of commerce on the move over the CB radio. With handles like,
Two-stepper, Desperado, BillyBob, Screaming Eagle, Shut up Stupid, Ladies Man, Space Case
and a million more.
Obnoxious, belligerent at the drop of a mike button, drop over rolling on the floor funny
and downright flabbergasting all at the same time. What a cauldron of humanities
worst and best. The American trucker. My hats off to you guys and gals.
Ah, the people. In my wanderings I've had the pleasure of meeting a lot of wonderful people in a great many places with a lot of different backgrounds. This country is full of fascinating people with marvelous stories. It's my pleasure to be allowed to share their lives, however briefly, as I pause in my travels. I hope I brought some joy and adventure and perhaps a little humor into their lives.
"The Bad"
The American Gestapo who now infest our airports and highways in the guise of federalized security agents and the DOT.
Spending far too many nights alone in hotel rooms and waking up in a different location each day.
Spending day after day behind the wheel with no end in sight and
no one to talk to but myself.
Realizing that you have little more to look forward to than getting back out on the road
with all the idiots again tomorrow!
Knowing that most of my old friends are long distance calls away and that I'll rarely see them in person again.
Making very few new friends because I'll be gone in the morning and hundreds or thousands of miles away.
Knowing that I can never be late for a broadcast.
"Hello, can you hold the game for a couple of hours till I get there?"
"How does ABC Tuesday Night Football sound"?
Driving through that blizzard on backroads in the middle of the night, because the
interstates are closed down and you need to be there.
There are no sick days and calling in late or sleeping in is a fantasy because I am the
live, in live TV for an event.
Rarely going out for a good time and never letting my guard down because no one knows me and there is no one to watch my back.
"The Soap Box" |
At U.N. headquarters, a population clock ticked off the world's
six billionth human among the 370,000 babies
born Tuesday, October 12, 1999. Many of them are destined for a future of
poverty and illiteracy.
The world's population has doubled since 1960 and increased by 1 billion people in the
past 12 years.
That's 6,000,000,000
STOP IT NOW!!!
Your descendants will eventually hate you!
Well, I didn't find a population clock to insert here, but I am posting a link to one of them. Now you too may be depressed by watching the numbers grow.
People, please wake up! We need to stop having 3.5 or more kids per
household. There are more than enough of us now. We need to start a policy of
no more than two children per family without penalties. Unless it's due to a
multiple birth, without the use of fertility drugs, we should cut out the subsidies and
tax breaks after the second child. The world resources are finite and the average
persons ability to do the math is sadly lacking. We need to stop rewarding people for
overpopulating the world.
If you have more kids than you can afford to feed the excess should be adopted out to
deserving parents who can afford to support them. I am tired of paying for your
ignorance.
Chinese officials began the day by contending the world's population would
have hit six billion much sooner if they had not imposed a controversial one-child policy
20 years ago. Now the rest of the world needs to wake up and get with the program.
IF YOU CAN'T FEED THEM, DON'T BREED THEM!
| Politicians who seek public office should be banned
from serving. Qualified individuals should have their names put in a hat and all of
the names drawn out. The last name in the hat should win, (lose?), and serve the
term for whatever office the drawing was held. If the individual picked doesn't do a
good job then they should be dismissed, fined heavily and then be banned from future
drawings anywhere in the country. Then the next to the last individual drawn from
the hat should be placed into the position. This process should be repeated until
you find a competent person for the job. Then increase his salary accordingly and
let him do the job until the term expires. A course, in common courtesy and manners, should be included in the curriculum of all public and private schools. The attention of a child may be properly focused by the
application of pain to the posterior regions, (it worked on me, although it was
applied entirely to often in my opinion). Spanking in the school system should not only be
allowed, but encouraged. However, it should be administered under the observation of
the school nurse, a teacher and when possible one or both parents in order to avoid abuse
during the application. Where possible it should be applied by one of the parents. Why do people who have four wheel drive vehicles fail to understand about driving in ice and snow? It doesn't matter how many wheels you have driving your vehicle if they are all spinning or sliding. Loss of traction means just that. Loss of traction. Never underestimate the power of stupidity and ignorance! We have enough youths, someone find the fountain of smart! Apathy Kills! Road rage increases exponentially in direct relation to the number of mindless idiots on the highway at any given time. No matter how many times they make a movie about the "Titanic", the ship always sinks and the same people always survive. I should have been a meteorologist. It's the only job I know of that consistently allows you to keep your job when you're wrong. Snow, ice and idiots behind steering wheels do not mix......! Instead of handing out tickets for speeding and other blatant
traffic violations everyday, police departments should have one day a week designated as
"GROSS STUPIDITY DAY". People should be ticketed for the using a cell phone that requires the use of a hand while driving in heavy traffic. There are enough systems out there that provide for hands-free operation. |
Some of the amazingly stupid things I've seen people doing out on the highways! |
Eating - I
know that hamburger sure tastes fine and that the drink really slakes your thirst. I
also know you want to finish those fries before they get cold.
Did it also occur to you, as you zipped past me at 70 mph, that you were going to drip
that ketchup, mustard and onion mixture all over your nice clean clothes?
Obviously not, as the next few seconds on the freeway saw the rest of us trying
desperately not to hit you as you swerved around. Unfortunately, some of your fellow
commuters didn't have reaction times quite fast enough. The good news is that I made
it through and continued on my journey.
You were left with a multiple car pile up that tied the interstate up for more than two
hours. You managed to inflict a lot of injuries, property damage and considerable
delay to many others because you were a hungry fool and in too much of a hurry. -
Nashville, TN
Snack behind the wheel. If you must have a meal, eat it inside or in the parking
lot if you can't wait to get home. Please refrain from eating it behind the wheel.
Pets - Gosh lady, that certainly is a gorgeous poodle you have there in your beautiful and
very expensive Cadillac.
In fact, for the last quarter mile or so I've been admiring the way it sticks it's head
out of the driver's side window and let's it's ears flop in the wind as it sits in your
lap. At first I thought you were waving a white flag out the window and trying to
surrender. You should have.
You were about a hundred yards in front of me when I saw the dogs head jerk. It was
probably hit by a bug, or maybe a stone thrown up by another cars tire. Whatever the
cause, the dog was obviously agitated. It probably stepped on the wrist of your left
hand with all it's weight which would be what caused you to swerve into the car on your
left.
Unfortunately, when you hit the other car you panicked. With or without further
assistance from the dog,who by the way was doing a masterful job of obscuring your vision
while all this was occurring, you were able to whip your vehicle back to the right.
To the continued dismay of both you and the innocents you took with you, the vector caused
by the original collision combined with your response was enough to send you careening
into a truck and several cars that were just coming down the on-ramp for the freeway. -
Dallas, TX
I sure hope the dog is okay!
Idiots backing down the freeway because they missed their exit.
Idiots driving down the freeway in the wrong direction.
Doing incredibly stupid things behind the wheel:
Reading newspapers.
Reading books.
Now, with the advent of vehicle video systems - watching a movie or television.
Putting on make-up.
Feeding the baby in the child seat in the back.
Reading and sorting mail.
Working on a laptop computer.
Shaving - with blades and lather no less!
Receiving or giving sexual favors - Not particularly worried about the participants.
Nope, I worry about all the truckers who are careening
around trying to get a better look.
My,
"Why?", List! |
Why did that little vehicle just speed by me so that it
could cut in front of me to get to the exit. There was plenty of room behind the
truck and it just might have cost them their lives.
Why do the little cars pull up next to me and slow down so I have to put my brakes on to
keep from plowing into the slower vehicle in front of me?
Then the drivers of these little cars wonder why truckers pull out in front of them.
Get a clue. It's a lot easier for you to recover speed than it is for those
of us driving trucks!
Why don't people who slow down to below the speed
limit in inclement weather pull over into the slow, (granny), lane instead of staying in
the passing lane. They already know visibility is bad. That's,
supposedly, why they slowed down in the first place. Eighty-thousand pounds of truck
up the rear end will teach them the lesson a little sooner than they expect if they
persist in tempting fate.
Why are the caution tape, barriers and no parking signs for everyone but you?
Because you are an idiot. If the shoe fits in this statement wear your injuries
proudly! Then everyone may see what an imbecile you are.
Why don't you understand that this check-out line is for twelve items or less and cash
only. Is it that you are so self-centered that you totally disregard the rights of
all the others or are you simply one more illiterate idiot?
Why is it too much effort to open your mouth and acknowledge a favor. I held the
door open for you and you can't even mutter a simple thank you. Excuse me, are you a
mute. Even if you are, a simple nod of the head will suffice. Thank my
parents for raising me as a gentleman. Otherwise you'd be sporting a broken nose
from the impact of the door on your face. Your parents should be slapped for failing
to teach you the most basic of social skills and the minimum requirements of common
courtesy.
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