For fans and friends of the late, great Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace, the world stopped spinning on March 9 last year. People were stunned by his murder, left choking on death's finality. But how to process the madness when you're Voletta Wallace, and you've lost your only child? Since Biggie's death, his mother has been unwavering in her pressuring of the Los Angeles Police Department to solve her son's murder. Also, she's been a surrogate mother to Biggie's mourning friends, and a Rock of Gibraltar for his children, T'Yanna Dream Wallace, four, and Christopher Jordan Wallace, one. And she has worked tirelessly in his name, establishing the Christopher Wallace Nonprofit Memorial Foundation to improve educational opportunities for Brooklyn's children-children who have been so touched by her son.

 Do you remember Biggie's first day of school?
He started school very early. He was a Sesame Street baby, counting from the time he could talk. He'd sing his alphabet. I knew he was going to be smart.

 I remember people's reaction to Biggie. They looked at him and saw something they didn't like. And somehow, he'd become what they saw. It was like he had to play a part.

 He played it very well. Sometimes I'd say, Can't you just smile? But that was his defense. "Let me look mean; let me act mean, and this way people will be afraid of me." But he was kind, very gentle. Beneath that mean exterior was the biggest, most generous heart.

 How did you first hear about Puffy, this young man who would change Big's life?
I used to hate that name: Puffy, Puffy. I wanted Christopher to excel academically. And here was Puffy, who looked at my son and said, "I'm going to make you a millionaire at twenty." I resented this person Puffy. I'd never met him. So when Christopher told me, "Mom, I'm going to sign a record deal," I looked at him like he was crazy. I said, For what?

 One day, Christopher said, "You know, Mom, you wanted me to go to school to be a dentist or a lawyer-to be independent, to be a good citizen. Well, guess what, Mom? I don't have to go to college to do that. I can do my music and be successful. This is the life I choose. This is what I want, Mama." I saw that it didn't matter if I screamed or yelled or said get out of my house. I said okay, fine.

 Were you blown away when he told you he was going to get married?
I never believed him. He came home one day and said, "Ma, I'm getting married." So I said, Congratulations, Christopher. He says, "I met the one." So I went on my merry way, and he goes, "Nobody believes me. Why don't people take me seriously?" So that Monday he comes in the apartment and says, "I got married today."

 You hadn't met Faith?
No. It wasn't until my sister called me, telling me, "Christopher's on the radio, and he's saying-what you call it? Big up?-to his wife." And then all hell break loose. I thought she wanted his money, and he goes, "I owe you five hundred dollars. I don't have any money." I said, You don't, but you will. You signed a prenuptial agreement? He said, "No." I said, Puffy let you get married, and you didn't sign a prenuptial agreement? Your lawyers didn't make you sign one? What kind of people do you have running your life?

 I didn't meet Faith until a month after. She'd call; leave messages on the machine for Christopher. One night she called, and I had to break the ice. I said, How would your mother feel if you had lived with her for a long time and all of a sudden there's this husband, and he's calling, and he never acknowledges your mother, never says hello? She said, "Mrs. Wallace, Chris told me to stay away from you, that you might say something to me that we're all going to regret." So I said, Well, I need to meet you. By the time you began to accept her as a daughter-in-law…

 The marriage was over. It never had a chance to grow. I gave him my blessings. His album came out, then her album came out, and they were on the road [separately]. It was sad.

 Does staying close to Biggie's friends make you feel closer to him?
I don't know. Everyone has their own idea about who my son was. A lot of his friends call to check up on me. Mase'll call, come by, take T'Yanna to the park. Puffy? He's exceptional. He'll call, and I'll tell him I'm having a rough day, and before it's over he sends me flowers. [Begins crying and points to a bouquet on the coffee table] And there are people who try and keep me away from Puff. People who tell me it's all political. They don't see the genuine feelings and loss people feel. Until I can prove otherwise, I accept that he's genuine. Puff is real with me; he's there. He tells me he doesn't want to call every day and cry on my shoulder, that he just needs to know how I'm doing. I know if I call Puff and say I need something, he'll say, "Okay, Mrs. Wallace, no problem." He always does what he says he's going to do. People tell me, "Puffy sells a million records when you stand next to him." But he's the one who made me continue building the home Christopher started for me. He's always there trying to make Biggie's dreams come true. As far as Kim and Damian and L and Cease, they loved my son. They love my son. Do you remember Tupac coming to your house?

 I remember him. I remember when Tupac was shot [the first time], and Chris called the house cursing, saying, "Somebody shot my man!" As a matter of fact, when Chris was out of town, Tupac called the house, and [later] Chris told me, "Mom, please get a number, some kind of way to get in touch with him, 'cause I want to know where this is coming from." And then all the negativity just escalated. So Christopher pulled back and said he wasn't going to defend himself. He said that if Tupac couldn't come to him as a man or as a friend, then he's not going to address it. Then the media just went haywire. Christopher never wanted any part of it.

 When Tupac died, Christopher was in intensive care. He'd been in a car accident. We kept that on the down-low; we knew the media would say "Retaliation!" When Christopher was in the hospital, he had a 24-hour police guard because of people wondering if his car was rigged. We knew it was just his brakes and the rain. He was in therapy for weeks on end. He couldn't walk; he went through hell.

 When Big came out to Los Angeles in November 1996 to shoot Puffy's video ["Can't Nobody Hold Me Down"], he was in a wheelchair. But the last time he came out [for the Soul Train Music Awards], in March 1997, he was stronger, using a cane. The last time I talked to my son was that Saturday [hours before he died]. Five-thirty that evening, I spoke with him, and I said to him, Be careful.

 And [Big's friend] Damian called you early that next morning.
He wouldn't tell me what happened. He wanted to know if I was alone in the house, and he said he was going to send his grandmother and Cease's mother, and I just keep saying, What happened to Christopher? Nothing's wrong with my son. All of a sudden, all these people are in my house, and I say to them, Get out! Just leave-because nothing has happened to my son! And you came to Los Angeles.

 Yes, and on the way to the airport, I heard it on the radio. They were saying my son was dead. I don't remember the plane ride. I just remember when I landed [long pause; she begins weeping], and I remember I hated this place, Los Angeles. As long as I live I'll never go back there-only to look my son's murderer in the face to ask him, Do you know how many lives you ruined? [Cries harder] Do you know that he was my only son and my best friend in the world? That he was a father and a friend? Do you know how you've crushed so many lives?

 I have no forgiveness in my heart for his murderer.
I know. And I know it's a sin to feel that way, but I know how you feel. [Long pause] So now I'm waiting for the police to capture my son's killer. And for weeks, then months, there's nothing. When the World Trade Center was bombed, they combed the globe for a suspect. I want that kind of scrutiny, that kind of attention, given to finding my son's murderer.

By Dream Hampton

Designed by Dale L. Bryant