The latest definitions for the country folks.

Log on:.......Making the wood stove hotter
Log off:......Don't add wood
Monitor:......Keep an eye on the wood stove
Download:.....Getting the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz:...When you're not careful downloading [watch the toes]
Floppy disk:..What you get from piling too much wood.
Ram:..........The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard drive:...Getting home in mud season.
Prompt:.......What you wish the mail was in mud season.
Windows:......What you shut when its 30 below
Screen:.......What you need for black fly season.
Byte:.........What black flies do.
Chip:.........What to munch on.
Microchip:....What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infared:......Where the leftovers go when Fred is around.
Modem:........What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix:...Farmer Matrix's wife.
Laptop:.......Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard:.....Where you hang you're keys.
Software:.....Plastic eating utensils.
Mouse:........What eats the horse's grain in the barn.
Main frame:...The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
Port:.........Fancy wine.
Enter:........C'mon in.
Random access memory:..You can't remember how much the new rifle cost when your wife asks you.