A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of
the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, how old are you?" 
The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age.
You'll learn this as you get older." 
 
The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" 
Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk
about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." 
 
The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off
another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" 
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey,
that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk
about it now." 
 
The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a
friend's house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her 
and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to 
do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just like 
a report card from school. it tells you everything." 

Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The 
little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are.  
You're 39 years old." 
 
The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know 
that?" 
 
The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much 
you weigh. You weigh 145 pounds." 
 
"Where did you learn that?" 
 
The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got 
a divorce." 
 
"You got an "F" in sex."

Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous snakes?" The other replied, "Your darn right we are, we are rattlesnakes why do you ask?" To which the first replied, "I just bit my damn tongue."

The newswire just reported that Picaboo Street, the US ski gold
 medalwinner has announced that she is making a sizable donation to add
 to her hometown hospital.  

The addition will be known as the Picaboo ICU.