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MAINTENANCE AND SAFETY TIPS FOR YOUR CALIPERVOX
NOTE: In the many centuries of calipervox playing, there have only been four known deaths. Three were caused by calipervox explosions, all of which resulted from a malfunction of the flipper. In these cases, the flipper flew off the hacker causing the chin-chummer to unlatch, which released deadly inert gases into the crap chamber. In another incident a parade spectator was killed when the bong detached from the mainframe striking the unfortunate victim on the shin bone. However, with special care, calipervox playing can be safer than driving a small compact car during rush hour road-rage.
1. ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOUR YATTLE IS SECURE AND YOUR SEAT STRAP IS FASTENED.
2. ENGAGE THE GUTENHIESTER SWITCH ON YOUR BELLS AND CHIMES.
3. OPEN THE FLIPPER AND ADJUST YOUR FLOPPING DEVICE.
4. WHEN TUNING, KEEP YOUR FINGER ON THE OVISPOSITOR UNTIL IT TURNS GREEN.
5. TO ADJUST THE HORNS, PULL THE O-RING WHILE PRESSING THE BRAKE PEDAL.
6. ON THE 1034 MODEL, DO NOT DISENGAGE THE FACE JAM VALVES WHILE PLAYING.
7. WATCH YOUR SPEEDOMETER WHILE IN PARADES AND USE YOUR TURN-SIGNALS.
8. NEVER USE PETROLEUM JELLY ON YOUR KEYBOARD, USE 40 WT. VOX OIL ONLY.
9. CLEAR THE GAS PORTALS BY PRESSING THE KLINGER AND HOLDING YOUR FLAPPER.
10. DO NOT EAT OR DRINK, BEFORE PLAYING THE 1035 MODEL, IT WILL JAM THE FIZZER.
11. LAST BUT NOT LEAST,---SAFETY FIRST!!-- MAKE YOUR CALIPERVOX PERFORMANCE A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE FOR ALL, AND REMEMBER TO REGISTER BEFORE PLAYING IN FLORIDA AND DISPLAY YOUR LICENSE ON YOUR WINDSHIELD. GOOD LUCK AND KEEP SAFE!!
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