I'd like a reply to this to let me know what ya think! Please put "Macavity VS Griddlebone" in Disclaimer: All of these charecters belong to T.S. Eliot, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, or The Really Useful Group (c), an' the subject line! Thanx!" they're all copywrited, or whatever. I gain no profit by this; I would simply like to let others enjoy my writing. (Or not, I s'pose. That depends 'pon the purrson. This is my first one, please don't be too critical.)
Mungojerrie and I, Rumpleteazer were walking along Warren Road. We turned down Porter, and crossed the street over to Donovan road. We walked two blocks west, then turned down the first alley, and snuck into the sewer pipe. (Boy, do it stink!) Thankfully it had been out of use for about two years now! At the end of it, we climbed into a box marked, "This side up ^, Fresh Fish", and we fell, again (that's the third time this week) down the secret passage to Macavity's lair.
Macavity sat before us kittens, serenely licking the caviar off his thumbs. Mungojerrie spoke.
"Good day, M'cavi'y! An' 'ow be you vis foin Evenin'? We's is jes' foin! Got any new jobs fo' us?"
" Of course, you imbecile! Why else would I have summoned you? (You idiots...) 11:00 PM, Wardman Residence, by yourselves, this time. But I have a different problem on my hands (other than you feckless kittens). Griddlebone has come back, and has ordered me to surrender all of my hiding places, lairs, goods, cash, and jewels. I am much smarter than she, but she has the brute force of Ghengis, and his Mongolian crew, Grumbuskin, Gilbert, and many other fierce pirates, and -"
" Why is Griddlebone with the Siamese? I thought she died, from the point of a Siamese toasting fork?"
" Don't interupt me, PLEASE, and she was actually in league with them, she planned to kill Growltiger, but there was rumor that he might be alive too. She took all of Growltiger's goods and things, after they killed him, and-"
" What is we, mice? or cats?" I interupted.
" NO! Neither of you twits seems to understand. I don't desire to die because of foolhardiness. I-"
It was Mungo's turn to interupt. "But M'cavi'y-"
" STOP INTERUPTING ME YOU MINDLESS NICOMPOOPS!" He roared. " I can't have you around, you might be killed, and then who would I get for my new agents? Nobody. Not that I care for you silly little burglers...but you are the last kittens that I can use, and it would be a shame to lose you two, even though you're exTREMEly annoying..."
"What can we do?" replied my brother.
"You musn't come here until I send for you, for I have plans to make, and you must listen to all the rumors that you hear. Only one of you may come and tell me any news that you happen to hear. And you mustn't interrupt me ANY more!"
" Ok, you can count on us, sir" I said.
"Now go!"
And we left. We clumb up the box, scrambled back into the sewer pipe, turned out of the alley, and walked two blocks east. We then crossed from Donovan road over to Porter then turned down Warren Road. We walked the streets in silence for awhile in silence, then went home. When we finally got back to our humble abode, it was nearly morning.
I woked up around noon, and I realized that I were pretty hungry, so I left a note for Mungo, and I left our home, wondering, as I was wandering, who I should beg lunch off of today. Or should I take a visit to the butcher shop (mmm, yum!). I know how to put that look in me eye that's MUCH better than "puppy-dog-eyes"! I 'cided ta, instead, go search the nearest alley for a good lookin' trash can. 'Mazin' the wonders ya find in 'em things! I found a half fish an' the leftovers of a tuna sandwich, an' I were lookin' for some other stuff, when a voice from b'hind me startled me.
"Rumpleteazer! I'm surprised at you! I thought I told you not to peck through trash cans any more!"
"Oh! Ah-Munkustrap! Didn't 'spect ta find YOU here! Hehe! Umm...-"
"Rumple, just because I'm not here doesn't give you reason to-"
"Yo, gimme a break! Um, please?"
"All right, little one! But stay out of trouble!"
"Sure, sure...," I whispered, "Oh! of course!" I said aloud.
As Munkustrap padded away on silent paws, I waited for him to disappear from sight, then dove back into the can to look for the rest of lunch.
End Part I
*****
Part II One Week Later...
After leaving the Jellicle Junkyard, (I had been visiting with Bombalurina, discussing our favourite subject, all the cuties about the Junkyard. (Alonzo, Munkustrap, Rum Tum Tugger...ect.)) I took a detour and went through some un-known alley, when I happened, unfortunately, to meet up with someone I didn't expect to meet... .
"Oh m'gawd!" I gasped.
"Who are you? If it sounds good efough, I just might not kill you."
"R-ru-ru-ru-rum-rum-p-p-p-ple-t-t-t-e-e-z-z-er..." I stammered. "Oh..," she said, in an oily voice, "You work for Macavity, don't you...?"
"Um, ah, n-n-no, of c-c-course not! He's -ah- b-b-bad-d..."
"Oh how delightful kittens are when they lie," she said in the same oily voice. She continued in a harsher tone, "you know where his lair is. Tell me NOW!"
"Reowwr!" I hissed, an' turned my tail and ran.
I ran all the way home, an' when I got there, I was completely out o'
breath.
"Yeah, yeah, go on!!" Mungo said excitedly.
"Griddlebone!!!!!"
"Oh my GAWSH! Really?"
"Yep! Should I tell 'cavy?"
"I guess..."
"Well, I'll be back in an hour or so."
" 'K, sweetums! Seez ya soon!"
All the way back along WarrenRoad, down Porter, and across the street
over to Donovan road, two blocks west, then down the first alley, and
into the sewer pipe. (Boy, do it still stink!) Into the box marked,
"This side up ^, Fresh Fish", and down the secret passage to Macavity's
lair.
This time, my fall woke him up. An' he were madder'n a hornet.
"Didn't I tell you NOT to come here? I believe I did!!!"
"But I've got news for you!"
"Allright, procede, then leave."
"I ran into Griddlebone last night. She's looking for you're lair,
she's-"
"She's here already? I hadn't counted on this for some time yet!
Please! Leave me! I must make twice as many plans now! And go with your
brother to the Bronshidal house sometime this week at 10:30, they leave
at ten and they should be back in an hour."
"OK, sir!"
Yup. You guessed it. I left. But then got knocked out by sompin' I
didn't see.
I awoke in a small dim chamber, extremely confused with a big headache.
In one corner, there was a pile of catnip, and in the other was a very
big scratched-up couch. I lay on a small shabby Cat-bed in another
corner. For some reason I couldn't move. I was startled by an
all-too-familiar oily voice.
"So you've decided to grace us with your conciousness! Bene (said
"bay-nay" (Latin)). Don't bother trying to move, you're restrained. Now
are you ready to tell me where Macavity's lair is yet? Or would you
prefer torture? I can do that, if you'd prefer. And don't try to trick
me. You're going to come with us as we go there."
"Ah, this is an odd situation. I, ah, um, well... I, that is..."
"You have a little while to decide. Let me know when you have made your
decision. I will be back in 5 minutes if you don't call me in sooner."
One minute to think on a plan! Four minutes to carry it out! Gotta
think... I finally came up with one. I pulled out my lock pick kit
that I was glad I had belted on before I left. So she hadn't noticed
it. I painfully turned halfway over to reach it, and picked the tiny,
almost invisible, locks on my restraints, and slipped out of the high
window. Too easy. I wandered about for awhile, and then went to sleep
in an alley, hiding myself in a box covered with a newspaper. I
watched, very afraid, as one on Griddlebone's henchmen went right by my
hiding-place, but, by some stroke of luck, didn't see me.
"Dang! I lost the stupid kitten! Ooo she's gonna be mad." he said.
I breathed a huge sigh of relief when he was out of sight. Then I
waited a few moments, and took off for home.
End Part II
Part III
I carefully made my way to the Jellicle Junkyard, staying on busy
streets (or rather, on busy sidewalks!), watching all around me for
HER. I had told Mungo that I'd be back in an hour. I wandered into the
door of the Junkyard, and tripped over a big ol' pipe...just as Alonzo
and Rum Tum Tugger were walking past, talking. Alonzo sneered, and Rum
made a snide remark, which I chose to ignore. I wandered around till I
came to Bomby's temporary "home" (she doesn't like to stay in one place
for very long, but I can sympathize). I peeked in the doorway, but she
wasn't there. So, I left and made my way to Jennyanydot's little abode.
When I peeked inside of this little "home", Jenny was in there,
bustling about, doing at least twelve things at one time; Cooking,
cleaning, teaching, and singing. I crept up behind her, trying not to
disturb her, but she noticed me.
"Why my little dear! You look absolutely famished! Come, have some
pastrys, or perhaps some milk?" she said. Then she said mostly to
herself, "I wonder what they feed kittens these days..."
"Um, actually, I was looking for Bombalurina... have you seen her?"
"I believe she's with Demeter, dear... are you sure you don't want
anything?"
"Uuh, I'm fine for now. Thanks!"
"Why would she be at Demeter's?" I thought, as I strolled to where
Demeter called home for now,"they haven't gotten together in awhile,
ever since 'Cavy stopped botherin' us.hmmm...maybey they know about
Griddlebone, but what would she have to do with them...mabey because
they know where his lair is... "
As I approached her "home", I heard voices from within.
"Oh my goodness! You're kidding!" said a voice the sounded like
Demeter's.
"Nope! He really did." (She giggled here.) "You would never think of
him as doing-"
"Hiya Bomby! Hiya Demet- oh! Am I interrupting something?"
"Uh, no sweetheart, did you want to see me?"
"Why else would I be here," I thought. But I said, "Just wondering if
ya needed some company... I guess not."
"Oh, it's OK... we just haven't seen each other in so long, we thought
that we should get together again." Said Bomby.
"That's all?" sez me.
"That's all. Why what did you think?"
"Oh, oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Well, ah, that is, well, um I
mean...I..." I said huuriedly and when I stammered, she just looked at
me.
"Allright. But if there's something that you want to-"
"OK! Griddlebone is here, and I don't know what to do. She's trying to
put Macavity out o' buisness, but she's almost worse than he is, and
she kills Cats too, not just dogs, and-"
"Slow down a minute, what happened?" said Demeter.
"Griddlebone is trying to put 'Cavy out o' business, but she's worser
than him, and I jus' don't know what to do."
"Well. That is a heavy burden. Perhaps, could you tell Macavity," she
spit on the ground, "That we might be able to help him, as long as he
won't bother us any more." Said Demeter.
"Ya think so?" I said.
Bomby answered for her. "Of course we could try, kitten. If Griddlebone
is as bad as you say she is, perhaps Macavity is the lesser of two
evils..."
"Are you sure?" questioned Demeter.
"I don't know... I'm guessing. Ask Munkustrap, dear, mabey he can have
a meeting, or something.
"OK! Thanks, guys!"
"No problem!" they said in unison, and then they laughed.
So I made my way to Munkustrap's abode, though he's usually not there.
Perhaps I could ask someone if I met 'em on the way...
End Part III
Part IV
No, I was right. He wasn't there. So I tromped around, looking for
someone to ask where he was. Unfortunately, it started to rain, an' my
paws got all mucky. Not that I care, but I wanted Munkustrap ta listen
to me. I found a little cracked pot that water had collected in, and
washed my paws as best I could. Then Munkustrap trotted up.
"Hello, Munky! I was just lookin' for ya!"
"Rumple, I told you not to call me that."
"Oh yeah! Sorry! Munkustrap, I was lookin' for ya."
"Yes?"
"I've got a problem. Macvity's bad an' all, right?"
"Yes. And?"
"Well, ya know how Griddlebone died an' all?"
"Well of course. Everyone knows that...what about it?"
" Well, she didn't. And now she's come back! Believe me! I seen her
wif me own eyes!"
" Get a grip on yourself! Have you been into the catnip again?"
"No! Please believe me!"
"I believe you've been known to stretch the truth..."
" No! I'm reely very serious!"
" Are you sure, kitten?"
"Positive!"
"Well, what can I do about it?"
"I were hoping that maybe we could rally some of the Cats, and -"
"Who is we? And what threat does Griddlebone pose?"
"We is you an' me. OK, it can be jus' you, but Griddlebone is evil
mean, and she purrposely kills Cats and dogs, and she's more ruthless
than 'Cavy. Demmy herself sed so, and Bomby too! Please?"
"I don't know, I'll have to see. Come back here tonight at 11:00 pm."
"OK! Thanks!"
"For what?"
"Oh, something...!"
"Take care" he called after me as I took off for home, "And stay out
of trouble!" he added.
Me? Trouble? Umm, yeah. Anyway, When I got home, Mungo was absolutely
out of his wits.
"Ya know, I coulda sworn that you said 1 hour," he said. He continued
without letting me explain, "This has been the longest hour I have ever
lived through! How could you do this to me? That was so mean!"
"Halt! Stop! Cease! Destist! Let me explain!"
"Why?"
"Because you have to tell 'Cavy that Griddlebone is looking for 'im!
An' be quick about it!"
"Why me? And what does this have to do with your explaining what you
were doing while I was sitting here, worried out o' me wits? You know I
care about you! Why'd ya go an' do that to me?"
"I didn't do it on purrpose! You see, I went to the Junkyard, to see
Bomby, and I asked her what to do about 'Cavy an' Griddlebone an' all.
She said I should ask Munky, so I did, an' we had a long conversation,
an' wouldn't let me go. He finally said that I should drop in later
tonight at 9:00 pm, and them I came home. We just might be able to
rally the Jellicles against her and her henchmen... whadd'ya fink?"
"That would be some story. Yup. Well, I s'pose you's gotted reason."
"Yeah I guess we duz. Oh! 'Cavy had a job fo' us. The Bronshidal house
at 10:30. He said any day this week, how about tonight?"
"Sure! Lets git our gear ready."
"Ok! But we gotta be back by 11:00!" I grinned and ran off for my
stuff.
That night we had great success, we made off with some nice stuff. We
dropped our loot and gear off at our home, and made our way to the
Junkyard. I couldn't even think of what lay in store fo' us tonight. I
just hoped we didn't meet up with Griddlebone.
End Part IV
Part V
I was practically running by the time we neared the Junkyard.
"What's you runnin' fer?" inquired my brother.
"I'm runnin'?"I asked.
"Yuf. An' very fast, too...could ya slow up a bit?"
"Sure... but not too much..."
"Thanx."
When we got there, the gates was closed, so we 'ad ta jump 'em.
Unfortunately, we both landed on Tugger, which I can tell you did NOT
make him very happy.
"May I remind you, that I am NOT a pillow?"
We both giggled and jumped off him. We walked at a quick pace, eager to
see what would happen at the Jellicle meeting. Munkustrap met us at
the entrance.
"Kittens, you're late!"
"Um, sorry Munk" I said. "...Ustrap" I added quickly!
"Now where have you two been?"
"Uhh, we-ah, fell asleep. Yeah! That's it. We fell asleep!"
"(Sigh) I'll accept your excuse for now... We really must get going;
follow me."
So we followed him into a large makeshift "building" (if you could call
it a building!) made out of a half of an old car, a refrigerator box
(Covered with a sheet of some sort of metal. Probably tin.), a part of
an oven and some wood to cover it all. But it fit us all quite nicely.
Those present were Demeter, Tugger, Bomby (who was amazingly right next
to Tugger), Alonzo (still sneering), Jellylorum, Cassandra,
Jennyanydots and her beetles tatoo with her, Quaxo, Skimbleshanks, and
Bustopher Jones (he was there only because Munkustrap had asked him).
Gus had asked to come, but Munustrap reminded him of his palsy, so he
decided to remain, but he was to be informed of their victory.
"Allright! Everyone! Please listen to me. Are we all present?"Said
Munkustrap.
Tugger answered, "All exept for that"
"Nicely, Tugger" reproached Munkustrap.
"Mister Mistoffelees. Hmmph." He finished.
"Oh, he said he was going to be late and to start with out him."
"He's always late..." grumbled Tugger.
"Silence, please. Now, Rumple came to me the other day and said that
Griddle bone is back, now-"
"But how can that be? Didn't she die with Growltiger? She must be
lying," said Alonzo. (He didn't like me very much.)
"No. At least so I hear. Rumple says that Griddlebone planned to have
Growltiger killed. She's trying to eliminate all of the crooks, save
herself. So we should fight."
"What?"s and "Why?"s arose from all the Cats.
Jenny spoke. "Why should we? Can't we let that no-good Macavity fight
his own battles?"
"Because Griddlebone is worser than 'im. She even kills Cats, and
she's an alley Cat, not a Jellicle. We need to fight against her!" I
said.
"Great job, sis!" Mungo whispered to me.
Skimble had his turn to talk. "Why should we risk death, if we know
she's more powerful than Macavity? It surely means death to most, if
not all of us. And some even have little kittens at home!"
Just then, a very wet Mistoffelees fell through the roof, bringing
water down in the enclosure (because it was raining.).
"Uh, sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?"
"Yeah, the door." Returned Tugger.
"I'm not open to sarcasm, Tugger. I mean it; what's going on?"
"Griddlebone's back, and she's trying to shut down Macavity, but she
might be even worse than Macavity." Replied Munkustrap.
"Her magic is no match for mine!"
"Oh yes it is!" I said. "She's even stronger than you and Macavity put
together."
" Well, we could try. There's nothing else TO do."
"You're right. And she's not going settle it peacefully."
"Then let's set it for tomorrow." I kept hearing that in my mind all
the way home...Tomorrow...
End Part V
Part VI
I woke up and it was already here. Tomorrow was today. And I was very
scared.
The Jellicles were lined up into purrfect troops. Toms in front, girls
in the back. Macavity had decided to fight with us, though he was not
allowed to lead us. I was told to stay with my brother underneath a
newspaper inside a box.
Opposing them were Griddlebone's huge troops. Siamese of every shape
and size. All of them cruel and ruthless, most of them were pirates or
a villain of some kind. And they were all big. An' if they weren't big,
they were HUGE! And if they weren't huge, they had a cutlass, knife or
fork big enough to kill twenty humans at once.
Munkustrap pranced up to approximately the middle was, and met
Griddlebone there. They talked for a moment of two, when Griddlebone
suddenly lashed out at him, and the battle began. Each Alley Cat
against each Jellicle, tooth and claw. A big Persian tried to slash
Tugger with his cutlass, but he dodged it and it sliced one of his
comrades neatly in half. The Persian moaned and paused, but then
Skimble slashed him through to the bone and he fell over to die. A
Siamese had his Toasting Fork raised to Bomby, but she looked at him
sweetly, and he didn't realize how fast she grabbed the fork and
plunged it into its owner.
"Gross! I hope I never have to do that again," she said disgustedly.
Demeter, though, saw these and had courage, so she tried to drive a
small dagger that she had with her into a villain's back, but he turned
around and slashed at her with his knife. She wasn't that badly hurt,
but she couldn't fight anymore. She slumped down and hoped that death
would come swiftly. Macavity was there in a moment, and he carried her
to the alley at our back, and told me to make her comfortable. I did
the best I could, and she said that I should go, and if the rest of the
Jellicles really needed help, that I was to replace her.
Mungo tried to get up and fight, but I held him down.
"We've gotta wait," I whispered urgently, "Only as a last resort can we
fight! We're kittens, remember? They can handle ol Griddle an' her ol'
Siameses!"
But a last resort was coming soon. Despite all of the tiny displays of
bravery, we were clearly losing. Many of the Cats were soon hurt; a few
of them were dead. There were about twenty Alleys left, and about nine
Jellicles. Alonzo, tired and torn, his side slashed and bleeding all
over his beautiful black and white coat said,
"Kittens, we need your help! We can't"-gasp-"Hold out
much"-gasp-"longer without help!"-Gasp-"Go! And-" he then collapsed and
flopped down next to the box we sat in.
We flew out of the box and quicker than you could say Old Deuteronomy,
and pulled Alonzo in.
"Last resort?" Mungo questioned hopefully.
"Ok. Be careful, and I love you" I licked him.
" I love you too, Rumple. You be careful too!" we nuzzled for a second
or two, and got ready to leap into the fray, when suddenly, from a
small basement flat, out stalked the
GREAT RUMPUS CAT!
He looked just as we imagined him when the older Cats told the story:
red scary eyes (like fireballs), his coat black as midnight, fur
standing on end. And he yawned, for effect, and his teeth were many,
long and pointed.
All of the Cats stood in awe for a moment, and while they were in awe,
he wasted no time in slicing them all to pieces. There was only
Griddlebone left when they realized what was happening. She tried
magic, and then brute force, but nothing could hurt him. Then she
started running, but she looked back, and ran into the path of an
oncoming car, which smashed into her head on and carried her out of our
sight.
We ran to him to see if I could have his autograph, walked up near him,
sat down and looked up at him, and said in a rather loud, but friendly
voice,
"Now who do we have here? I see you must be twins. Allright. Who shall
I make them out to... hurry up, dears, I don't have much time...!"
"Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer" we said at the same time.
"And how do you spell those?"
"M-U-N-G-O-J-E-R-R-I-E and R-U-M-P-L-E-T-E-A-Z-E-R..."
"Allright! There you go! Now be good kitties!"
We both nodded because we were speechless.
"T-Th-th-ank you!" We shouted after him.
He walked over to where Munkustrap was sitting (because he was pretty
badly wounded) and they conversed for awhile, and then he left.
"I suppose you would like me to thank you for all you've done." Said
Macavity a few weeks after the fight.
"Oh, Sir! You donty 'ave ta fank us! We-" said Mungo.
"Good, because I'm not going to!"
"Oh. Got any new jobs fo' us?"
"Yes. Shiffelwhite Manor, day after tomorrow, 9:00 pm. You know where
that is?"
"Yes Sir!"
"Very good. And I suppose I will thank you, after all, for helping me,
but do not tell anyone that I did, do you understand?"
"Of course! Then we'll be seein ya, 'Cavy"
"And DON'T get caught."
"Yup Sir!" said Mungo shortly before he walked head on into a trash
can which he knocked over, and I realized that life was back to normal.
At least for a while, anyway.
End Part VI