You sit in the car waiting for the rest of the family to get 
in. It always takes so long, you think to yourself with a 
frown. You are in a REALLY bad mood. Not only did you get 
kicked out of ICU but you aren't allowed to visit Zac for the 
rest of the time that he is in there. That could be forever.
 
"Cheer up!" Isaac says turning around in the seat in front of 
you. "He'll be out of there in no time and you will be able 
to see him." 

"Ya, when? In about a million years?" You snap at him. 

"Hey, I didn't do it, don't take it out on me." He says 
defensivly. 

"Ya, don't worry Milia, he is going to be fine, you'll see." 
Kristen says trying to cheer you up as well. 

"Shut-up! You still have your boyfriend. You don't have 
the guilt of knowing that he could die at any moment cause 
you dropped a stupid necklace and he went to get it for you!" 
You snap at her. 

"Hey! Now wait a minute, you can't blame yourself for this. 
It was the driver, we already established that. The driver 
was looking at you, he admitted that." She says back at you. 

"Oh that makes me feel a million times better knowing that 
my boyfriend was almost killed cause some lonely truck driver 
was checkin' me out on the side of the road." You say, raising 
your voice a bit. 

"Ok, ok, bad move. But it isn't your fault, and don't start 
yelling at me." She says sternly. 

"Sorry." You reply then turn your head to look out the window. 

*****~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~*****

A month, A MONTH!! You say to yourself, the doctors think he will 
be in there for at least a month, what am I supposed to do until 
then? I can't stay away that long. I need to see him. Tears start 
streaming down your face as you think of this. What if he dies 
and I don't get to say goodbye, or tell him I love him again? You 
ask yourself a million questions the whole way home. (ok, 
now I wrote the next section listening to track 8 on the 
Titanic soundtrack, the first two minutes, so it influenced 
my writing, listen to it right now while you are redaing 
you'll see what I mean! but you have to read slow, and 
actully read evertying don't just skim!) Once you get home 
you slowly walk up to your room and sit on the bed and place 
your face in your hands. You look back up and towards the 
balcony, where just a few nights ago Zac was asking you what 
was going on in your relationship. 

You walk out to the balcony and put your hands where he was 
sitting. Perfectly fine, not knowing what that night would 
bring. 

I'm not late, you guys are later then me, you hear his small 
voice in your head. 

I heard that bugs were good for the skin, you hear again, 
far off. 

You look up and see him sitting on the ledge of the balcony, 
perfectly fine and smiling at you. 

"Guys, come down here please." Walker interupts your thoughts.
 
Everyone goes into the family room and sits down, you see 
Diana crying on the chair. 

Oh god, you think to yourself.
 
"We just got a call from the hospital. It appears that Zac 
has gotten worse." Walker struggles to say holding back his 
tears. "It seems that his bleeding has started again and he 
is on a resperator (tube to keep him breathing). He is no 
longer breathing on his own and they are having trouble stop-
ping the bleeding." Walker struggles to hold in the tears but 
is unsuccesful. 

"Well......can we see him?" You ask surprisingly not crying 
yet. 

"Your mom...Diana and I are going to the hospital right now 
and we will probably spend the night, but you guys can't come, 
they won't let you in." Walker says. 

"But...this may be the last....and.....I...." You can't help 
it, you break down and start crying. You just stand there in 
the middle of the room as everyone goes back to what they were 
doing and Diana and Walker leave. 

(ok now start the song over again)

You look around, the Nintendo, drawings, rough drafts of 
songs, everything reminds you of Zac. You begin to walk back 
to your room and trip and fall over something. You look back 
at the floor and see his Yellow Docs. You pick them up and 
hold them in your hands and start crying even more. Your tears 
fall on the docs. You pick yourself up and take them up to 
your room. You walk out onto the balcony and look at the stars.
 
"Why are you doing this to me?" You shout out to no one. "What 
did I do to ever deserve this?" You scream then fall down 
on the floor crying.