DISCLAIMERS

        The following story is a work of fiction, based on characters
from the animated Japanese series "Neon Genesis Evangelion," by Hideaki
Anno and Studio Gainax.  This fan-fiction is not meant to reflect on
this high-quality production, and my use of these characters is in no
way meant to circumvent or obviate the purposes of copyright.

AUTHOR'S NOTES
          
        It feels a little strange to have finally written my first
non-lemon fanfic. =)  Anyhow, this was written a few days after finally
seeing the last two episodes of _Neon Genesis Evangelion._  I don't know
if the way I understood them was a "correct" understanding, or the
understanding that Hideaki Anno intended.  However, it certainly seemed
to be a "resonant" interpretation, corresponding in surprising ways with
C. S. Lewis' _The Great Divorce,_ one of my favorite works of
theological fiction.  A few days of meditating upon the two works, and
on what part the events of _NGE_ might play in a Larger Design, produced
this idea, which I've written up.

        CAUTION on two fronts:  First, this contains spoilers for
episode 24, and in fact it won't even make much sense if you haven't
seen episode 24.

        Second, this would be a "darkfic" EXCEPT in comparison with the
actual episode 24.  By hinting a little more strongly about the greater
drama that is being played, I'm hoping to show why I don't think the
traumas of episode 24 are as dark as they seem on first viewing. It's so
tempting to throw in some more quotes from Lewis, from whom the title of
the story came, but I'll limit myself to one:  "Where present experience
saw only salt deserts memory truthfully records that the pools were full
of water."

****

        IN THE LANGUAGE OF THE LOST

        by Antaeus Feldspar

        The monstrous fist of EVA-01 dwarfed the tiny humanoid form of
the 16th and final Angel.  Despite the fact that a thumb larger than his
whole physical form was poised to crush his neck, the 16th Angel was
smiling calmly into the eyes of the Evangelion, and through them, into
the eyes of its pilot.  "It is the right thing to do, Second Child of
Third Creation.  Destroy me."

        Inside the entry plug, the pilot screamed.  "No!"  Aoi's eyes
burned with too many tears for the viscous LCL to wash them entirely
away. "Damn it, how can you sit there and, and ... tell me to destroy
you? How could you lie to me, to us all, betray us -- Aaaaagghh!"  Like
a spear through his heart, he felt the pain of betrayal, and black rage
followed the pain.  And yet he could not bear to close his fist...  just
that little bit more...  just that tiny distance that would crush the
final Angel.

        "I never betrayed you, Aoi," the Angel said softly.  He still
held Aoi's eyes with his own peaceful gaze; Aoi thought that even if in
the safety of the entry plug, he tried to look away, the Angel would
know. "There was no lie between us, Aoi.  You refer to the love, the
caring, the desire for unity you felt in our touch.  You touched the
truth in that moment, Second Child; all of this Creation desires that
unity with you.  Oh, the glory that waits for all of you, Aoi!  Only
remember me when you have reached it."

        "You...  How can you lie to me?" Aoi screamed.  "You bastard!"
Again his heart seared with rage, and yet he could not make the titanic
fist he controlled close and crush.  Perhaps the Angel knew that he
could not, for beneath its shock of dark hair, the Angel's face was
serene.  "You were just using me to get at Lillith!  You used me!" *Just
as my father uses me,* and at that Aoi did indeed have to turn his face
from the Angel's gaze and cry.  "How...  how can I possibly believe
you?" he whispered.

        "I'm the wrong one of whom to ask that, Aoi-kun," the Angel,
with the first trace of sharpness in its voice.  "What lies beyond, and
what lies ahead for you, cannot be reached through proof.  Only through
faith."  The Angel's tone dropped, became wistful.  "If you could have
given your faith, Aoi-kun, if you could have opened yourself, you would
have had the proof in the unity we would have shared.  When you have
destroyed me and fulfilled what has been written, it is your faith you
must turn to, to open you to what follows."

        "I can't destroy you," Aoi whispered.  "I can't have faith that
it's the right thing to do.  And I can't have faith that I can...  open
myself."  *What if I open myself and find nothing inside?*

        "You must have faith, Second Child."  The Angel's pale skin
began to almost shine in the darkness.  "You must trust in your father's
creation.  And you must complete this sacrifice which has been made for
you, and for all."  The Angel's short, unruly dark hair began to move,
as if tickled by an invisible wind.  "Destroy me and complete the
circle."

        Aoi closed his eyes.

        Aoi closed his fist.

        The head of Shinji, the 16th Angel, fell into the pool of LCL at
the feet of Lillith.

****

        This story is not in the public domain.
        The rights to redistribute this story by electronic or other
means for non-profit purposes is freely granted, as long as it is
distributed intact, including these notices.
        Distribution of this story for profit is expressly prohibited.
        The practice of altering this story, including but not limited
to appending 'continuations,' is expressly prohibited.

-- 
* -jc IS *NOW* feldspar@cryogen.com