Eliza and Monica / Act One – Scene Two

Act One – Scene Two

ELIZA: What are you doing here?

MONICA: I thought you really wanted me to come. I was bored so I decided to come. I got lost, but I made it! Where’s Tom?

ELIZA: Who’s Tom? Oh, that bloke didn’t show. He probably forgot. Too good to be true, you know? I’m trying to catch the bartender’s attention now, so don’t you interfere.  Just because you can’t catch a man doesn’t mean that you have to steal mine. Get lost.  Go to the Prince Charles Cinema. Come on, go on now. He asked me to stick around till after close. I don’t want him to think that I’m bringing along a friend. I want him to know that I mean serious business.

MONICA: You’re a mean drunk.

ELIZA: I’m not drunk. I’m serious.

MONICA: You invited me to come. I didn’t even want to go. I could have enjoyed a peaceful night at home. What are you doing trying to attract the bartender’s attention. Don’t you want a decent guy?

ELIZA: He is a decent guy. And anyway, I’m just looking for some action tonight; that’s all. 

MONICA: Why did you ask me to join you if you really didn’t want me to come?

ELIZA: I asked you to come because I was being polite. Say, how did you ever find the pub? I told you it was off of Knightsbridge to point you in the wrong direction.

MONICA: You’re kidding me! I thought I heard wrong or maybe I wasn’t paying attention.  I asked a fellow and he told me that the Archduke Pub was at Waterloo. I came straight away. Hey, if you want me to leave, I will.

ELIZA: Shoot, blast it.

MONICA: What?

ELIZA: He’s trying to pick up that girl over there. See that? My shot is over. Thanks a lot!

MONICA: I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?

ELIZA: We’re even. I gave you wrong directions and you ruined my chances with the bartender.

MONICA: So how long have you lived in London?

ELIZA: Oh, six years.  I originate from Salisbury.  Country area near Stonehenge.

MONICA: Oh, it must be pretty. I mean to travel England and see more of the country.

ELIZA: Bloody hell, it is pretty. But do you think that really matters? It’s so incredibly boring. I moved to London because I liked the fast paced environment. Good paying jobs. Lots of pubs. Lots of men. You know?

MONICA: OK.

ELIZA: Hey, do you want to come to a party tomorrow night?

MONICA: I don’t know. What are these people like?

ELIZA: Well, I don’t know half of the people that are going to be there. But it’s a drinking party. It’ll be fun. Lots of booze- 

MONICA: Oh, I don’t know.

ELIZA: You need to experience the English culture. Get smashed. Just this once. Come on.

MONICA: I really don’t know if I’ll drink much.

ELIZA: That’s alright.  You can just witness the environment.

MONICA: I don’t want to get too drunk or anything. I start my job and I don’t want to wake up with a hangover.

ELIZA: Don’t worry about it.  It’ll be fun. So tell me about where you’re from.

MONICA: Nashville, Tennessee. 

ELIZA: Lots of country music. Ick.

MONICA: Yeah, there’s country music.

ELIZA: So why did you want to move here?

MONICA: Oh, I always read books by Jane Austen and the Brontës and just had to come. 

ELIZA: You’re not disappointed, are you? It seems things have changed in the last two hundred years. 

MONICA: Well, I visited three years ago and absolutely adored it. I went to work for a company that had a branch over here with the intention of transferring.  And so I’ve transferred.

ELIZA: I see. And you don’t want to go back for awhile.

MONICA: I really mean to stay.

ELIZA: Then you should learn to drink.

MONICA: Not everyone drinks, do they?

ELIZA: Practically. You’re in a different culture now. If you love England so much, then drink. Even Jesus drank.

MONICA: He drank wine…

ELIZA: Then get yourself some wine.

MONICA: OK, maybe later. I’m gonna get some rest tonight.

ELIZA: I was just going to ask you to leave. I’m going to hit on that guy who just walked in.