If I Were Macy Gray I'd have a cool 'do If I Were Gwen Stefani, wouldn't talk to you If I Were Barbara Streisand I'd be less conservative If I Were Gram Parsons I wouldn't have much more time to live But I'm me I'm me If I Were Lucy Liu I'd beat up you If I Were Lesley Gore I would cry too If I Were Alan Keyes I'd keep running again If I Were Daniel I'd be in the lion's den If I Were Bobby Fisher I would be a recluse If I Were OJ, they would call me juice If I Were Bob Dylan I wouldn't be chillin' If I Were the IRS I guess I would be billing If I Were Angelina Jolie everyone would think I'm sexy If I Were Britney Spears I'd be endorsed by Pepsi [bgvs: and drink coke] If I Were Sting I'd do yoga, meditating If I Were Roger Ebert, I'd do a lot of rating [Cut out: If I Were Britney Spears more of me would be fake If I Were Martha Stewart there's tons of things I'd make If I Were Catherina Zeta Jones, I'd marry Michael Douglas If I Were Alanis Morissette, I suppose I'd hug less] If I Were Kevin Cadogan I'd leave Third Eye Blind If I Were Robert Schumann I'd go out of my mind If I Were Alanis I'd desecrate the word ironic If I Were Pink Floyd I'd give new meaning to "sonic" If I Were Charles Dickens I'd write a classic book If I Were Jesse James you'd be amazed at all I took If I Were Johnny Cash I would have been to jail If I Were Chris Farley, wouldn't be skinny as a rail (repeat chorus)© 1/3/01 Allison McCulloch