Vocab from Hell Sr Part One Uno Etc...

OR

What happens when really really insane people try to carry on conversations.
Updated Continuously

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"Half a tree is a whole pencil."
--Everybody give Mariah a big welcome, as this is her first known quote!!!

"Squishy is not an emotion."
--Annie buys yarn.

"We were good. We had a Mr. Pointy.
--Kristy does self-promotion.

"You're the jello bowl, and I'm the person."
--Kristy dabbles in metaphors a la Josh.

"I'm being lulled to sleep by the sounds of cattle tumbling in a dryer."
--Annie has an exciting Saturday night.

"I feel like a tub of fish, floating in the sea..."
--Annie mops.

"Help, I'm drying!!!"
--Annie is viciously dehydrated.

"Woofle."
--A dog waffle? Even Annie can't explain this one.

"I'm just encouraging my bacon to fly."
--Annie cooks dinner.

"I could live for years off my sex supplies."
--Annie tells more than anyone needed to know.

"I'm wearing a cup of coffee. No, I'm wearing the fourth floor."
--Annie accessorizes.

"We're going to make our pets out of food!!"
--Jason talks to hamsters.

"I feel undirty."
--Annie obsessively stockpiles soap.

"I want to boink him with his pointy fat."
--Annie doesn't want to think about this long enough to explain it.

"I can't fucking smell monks!!"
--For that matter, I can't really taste them either.

"I butt mutt people do."
--Annie speaks in tongues.

"It snorts water out of its tusk. Or its snort thingie."
--Annie appreciates nature.

"That's pretty squarey."
--Annie buys a cat carrier.

"Being a dog runs in our family."
--Kristy guards the desk.

"It's either inflate your head or die."
--Jason threatens happy walmart helpers.

"I don't THINK there are any meat flavored cereals....excluding Bac-Os"
--Jason feeds Jerry.

"You can expire to be like him."
--Annie continues on her death tangent.

"Why are you doing the Happy Hamster Trot?"
--Jason and Annie cook dinner.

"I like poo. Poo is brown. Like my hair.
--Jason shops for cheese.

"It's a rip off of 'Invasion of the Body Snackers."
--Annie chats on an empty tummy.

"Well, anyuwan, it's a re-poof."
--Annie attempts coherency.

"Would you rather I had a Grand Canyon penis?"
--Annie watches Footloose.

"Probsably."
--Annie answers her own question.

"I wish my boobies were bigger."
--Jason dreams.

"He's burning my bottom off!!!"
--I don't know why I found this so funny...but I did.

"We work for the squid."
--Randall finds HIS purpose in life.

"Maybe you're sitting in cow."
--Annie's explanation for all the problems of the world.
Perhaps it was one that Sary threw at me..

"I feel octagon."
--Annie relates to her coworkers.

"You look like a llama held up by a Pixy Stick."
--Josh composes an email.

**BTW, does anyone else notice that Josh really seems to like llamas??

"Friday night I'm getting a full tank of ass and heading out."
--Annie roadtrips.

"I need more syrbip. Whatever that is."
--Annie eats her pancakes.

"My head is NOT a football."
--Annie spends a quiet afternoon at home.

"I almost dropped my cucumber off my lap!!!"
--Annie keeps track of her keyboard.

"What is that??? Is that a llama??"
--Josh drives to Nashville.

"I saw a goat!!! By the side of the road!!"
--Josh drives to Paducah.

"Quit following me!!!"
--Josh talks to his toilet paper.

"What's a lima bean?"
--Another of the uniformed comes forward.

"I'm going to Michigan to get the woozle."
--Annie finally finds her direction in life.

"Someone left a lima bean in the bathroom!!!"
--If anyone has information on how said lima bean got into our bathroom at the motel in Panama City, please call me.

"When trying to get your mind off of sex, it is not a good idea to think about bunnies."
--Annie eats carrots.

"I don't want to spend any more ducks."
--Annie controls her finances.

"I'm the dairy fairy daydream believer."
--Sara acquires faith.

"If there was only a way to combine condoms and cheese, the world would be perfect."
--Sara's take on happiness.

"She's poor as a door."
--Josh, the king of metaphors.

"Since I"m not religious, I would be reduced to cheating. I have no ability to do things honestly. And I eat small children."
--Annie's an atheist. That means she's a bad person.

"I have a major shoon sportage."
--Annie eats cereal.

"My feet smell good. I wonder why."
--Sara in deep thought.

"I don't like bonking...it sounds like something Muppets would do."
--Fuck vs. Bonk...you decide.

"We're in Egypt...Dwee Dwee Dwee."
--Annie parks the car.

"She's the washing machine, and you are the clothes."
--Josh the philosopher.

"I didn't say it. But I thought it loudly."
--Sara practices restraint.

"I'm sorry you're a leech."
--Sara shows sympathy.

"Oh those horns, they're so RIVETED!!!"
--A classic worth revisiting.

"Here butt, butt, butt, butt."
--Oh, the joys of potted plants.

"It's the only state that we haven't gone to war with, right?"
--Justin knows a lot about Canada.

"There's a little bit of Peter Frampton in all of us."
--I wasn't there to hear this one from Mike, but it sounded profound.

"I'm so glad you have pupils."
--Justin gives a compliment.

"I want you to elderly man."
--Annie gives instructions.

"The bud's already breddered."
--Annie works with bread on three hours of sleep.

"It rhymes with fuck and it starts with bonk."
--Annie on caffeine.

"I'll knit your sweater a cat."
--Annie's compassion towards animals is showing.

"It's about telamununications."
--Sarah and I cram for our telamununications final.

"N-A-B spells nab. Slip it around, it spells ban."
--Sarah drinks coffee.

"And cast of thousands and Ben Hur and stupid."
--Ann on epics.

"One day in Teletubby land, it was the evil goat's turn to wear
the skirt."
--Sarah amuses herself.

"Having a tractor is nothing to sing about."
--I attempt to make conversation at 8 am.

"She thinks my tractor is sexy!!!!"
--A reply to the above as screamed by a worker at Winslow.

"Got marital problems? Fill it with ducks.
Got a hole in the ozone layer? Fill it with ducks."
--Ann and Sarah discuss Millard Fillmore.

"By God, I am the orange thing king!!!"
--Sarah discusses pumpkins.

"I could just smell my own hair for a living."
--Sarah finds direction in life.

"I'm so sloopy I'm deezy!!"
--Sarah in the morning.

"I wanna frolick in it."
--Me describing my love for pudding.

"Lord, please don't let my roommate get 5-10 for vehicular homicide. Amen."
--Sarah

"The question is, how do newsgathering organizations get the news? The answer is, Yes."
--the doof in my mass media class

"The four elephants of communications are message, channel, source, and telephone."
--Sarah and I attempt to cram for our mass media test

"I can't seem to get to sled!"
--Sarah has insomnia.

"You can be the insane one and I can be the dry wit."
--Me describing my desire to be mentally ill on live television.

Me:"I was sucking refuge."
Sarah:"Whose refuge were you sucking?"
--I describe my previous evening.

"We believe in optipism."
--Sarah finds happiness.

"Just cause you're all in black...and I'm like short..."
--My opinion on why the nice people across the hall were staring.

"The only good thing about cookies is now I have baggies!!"
--Me ignoring the fact that I got homemade cookies via mail.

"Damn it!! Now I've got a key in my toe!!!"
--Sarah puts on a shoe.

"Can I put it into any more English for you?"
--Sarah interviews for the msu news

"I'm going to bed now to dream about Jimmy Hoffa
and crushed up carpet crackers."
--Sarah says goodnight.

"The argument doesn't get good until you
throw something large at the other person.
Like cattle.
--Sarah's formula to win any fight.

"I'm going to go around campus, photographing
various odd-shaped stains..."
--I find direction in life.

"You can wox on your own hair dye."
--Sarah can put on her own damned hair dye.

"I have to stop eating ice cream. I'm growing leg hair."
--Sarah actually eats something.

"You might want to try sending yourself to a card."
--the horsey card website

"It's all furry!!"
--Me describing the state of the Weather Channel

"Go see konkers???"
--I'm deaf, ok?

"It's a horse with a rutabaga shaped tumor."
--Me explaining what any idiot could see.

"Go Souther!!"
--Sarah gives a command.

"That would explain the fuck in it!"
--Sarah attempts understanding.

"If I had a horsemanship I'd call it Chuck."
--Keep in mind that it was very early when I said this.