you whine about are recent.

A real friend says,

"You've been whining about

the same thing for years.

Get off your duff

and do something about it."


A simple friend has never seen you cry.

A real friend

has shoulders soggy from your tears.


A simple friend doesn't know

your parents' first names.

A real friend has their phone numbers

in his address book.


A simple friend brings

a bottle of wine to your party.

A real friend comes early

to help you cook

and stays late to help you clean.


A simple friend hates it when you call

after he has gone to bed.

A real friend asks you why

you took so long to call.


A simple friend seeks to talk

with you about your problems.

A real friend seeks to help

you with your problems.


A simple friend wonders about

your romantic history.

A real friend could blackmail you with it.


A simple friend, when visiting,

acts like a guest.

A real friend opens your refrigerator

and helps himself.


A simple friend thinks the friendship is over

when you have an argument.

A real friend knows that it's not a friendship

until after you've had a fight.


A simple friend expects you

to always be there for them.

A real friend expects