Well, first on the agenda is: you all owe me money again. You see, we put on a play recently at the school, and I took it upon myself to put an ad in the program. I personally think the ad was a roaring succes, getting the attention of such radical political reactionaries as elementary students, little brothers, and assorted parents. Ok, yeah, this may not sound like much now, but just you wait until the Coalition of Elementary Students, Little Brothers, and Assorted Parents takes over the country and makes us the Head Supreme Council presiding over Dairy Products. Then you'll thank me. Then you'll come crawling back on your knees and say, "Oh please, Exalted Cheif (and only) Editor of the Newsletter, let me bask in your greatness! Oh please oh please oh please..." And then I'll say, scornfully, "Ha ha ha ha". And I'll add, "Ah ha ha ha". Then I'll thrown in a good "He he he snort" for good measure. So just you wait. Anyway, I had to pay good money out of my parents' pockets when they weren't looking for that ad, and I expect all you members to repay me, uh, them, in full. Luckily there's a fair number of members, so we can spread the cost around. Now lemesee...(Sounds of a calculator being worked in the background. Sounds of swearing. Sounds of a drawer opening. Sounds of a calculator with batteries being worked in the background.)...Oh, well that's not bad at all, especially since I'm sure most of you have good credit ratings. Okay, it all works out to, uh, well...oh DARN! I just don't have the heart to make you guys pay. Just never mind.

Ok, another issue that came up during my enforced sabbatical was the secret leg-shake. For those of you who don't know (Hint: If you're not Noah, Mike, or Me, you probably don't know.)(Hint for Noah, Mike, and Me: You do know.)(Hint for those who even now aren't sure if they know or not: You have bigger problems to worry about.) the secret leg-shake is a greeting which should be used by one Member to greet another Member. Here is a concise description. Member 1: Sees another Member. Runs to intercept, tripping over numerous roots on the ground and almost falling several times. Member 2: Sees Member 1 almost fall and falls down himself, clutching his stomach and chortling. Member 1: Sees Member 2 laughing and proceeds to kick Member 2 repeatedly in the hindquarters. Member 2: Writhes in pain. Ok, now notice the kicking motion Member 1 is making? This is the sort of motion you will want to get going, only sideways away from your body, and preferably not making contact with Member 2's nether regions. Now, far from being JUST a stupid thing a few guys thought up in their spare time to make us look even stranger in public, this leg-shake has a symbolic motif. See, the Member is signifying by shaking their leg that they have no Cod in their trousers. Of course, if you do have Cod in your trousers don't do the leg-shake, since you would probabaly be found out, but I'm sure none of you have to worry about that, Hmmmmm?

Ok, now for new Members. Yes, it is new MemberS, we do have more than one. Yeah, so it's just two, that's tow more than before. First, Marcie The Bomb recruited Heather, who wishes to be known as Official Left- winger. I think we should let her in cause she said she "supports our cause to the highest extent of her being", which I think is more than any of could ever hope to say, or hope not to ever have to say, as the case may be. The other suplicant is Kevin Michael Ian Schutte, whose nickname will be, The One and Only. His clever little comment is, "De gustibus non disputandum est." Are you just gonna take that from him?!?! I think we should take this outside. Anyway, should we just let these people join, or should we make them run the gauntlet of initiations? If we wanna make em run, we'll have to develop some kind of initiation first. I'm open to and in fact encourage suggestions, but I must stipulate that the initiation ordeals not involve more than two cans of SPAM.

Well, that's all ah have to say about that, so until next time, Remeber, don't be like Member 1 and kick Member 2, cause violence never pays, and besides, afterwards Member 2 got up and beat the bejeebus out of Member 1.