TITLE: Just a Dream AUTHOR: Hebburn Bee Slayer feedback would be great, my in-box is getting lonely :-( CATEGORY: S,R,A RATING: PG SPOILERS: 6th season, maybe the movie. DISCLAIMER: They're mine, all mine!!! insert evil cartoon villain laugh here. ;-) KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully UST ARCHIVE: Sure, fine. Whatever. Just keep my name and e-mail address on it, and ask first. SUMMARY: Mulder's not the only one who has nightmares, and these ones are all too real... If you enjoy this, please give me feedback. I'm thinking of doing a sequel, but need reasurance that this doesn't suck. *********************************************************************** "Mulder I do not want to hear it," Scully gave him a *look*, about to put her key in the door of her hotel room. A proper hotel this time, not a cheap, roadside motel or trailer park. God knows she'd had enough of them. "All I want to do is just walk through this door and go to sleep. It's late and I'm tired. Your latest theory can wait until tomorrow." She broke her monologue at the unfamiliar look on his face that had become more familiar lately. "What?" she asked defensively. Mulder considered her question. He couldn't very well *tell* her what he had been thinking, not now, not ever. "Are you quite finished?" he chose the safe option: sarcasm, avoidance. Whatever worked. She favoured him with a radioactive glare. Mulder winced on the inside. On the outside, he gave her his best snug smile. Oh, if only he didn't find an angry Scully so damn attractive. "You don't seem to be in the best of moods tonight," he observed, waiting to get his head bitten off. "Mulder, if you'd had less than four hours sleep in the past few days your mood would suck too. So if you don't mind, I want to go to bed." She turned her key and opened the door. Mulder frowned and placed a hand on her arm to stop her. "You're not sleeping?" Scully turned to face him and their eyes met briefly. The concern in his eyes was obvious, and she felt guilty for blocking him out. She turned away, breaking their contact. "Goodnight, Mulder." She closed the door behind her and leaned against it heavily. "Night," Mulder whispered to the closed door before heading towards his own room. She was running. She didn't know what she was running from, but she knew she had to get away. She didn't even know where she was, but she had to find Mulder, he had to know about this. It felt as if she had been running for hours, but it had only seemed like a few minutes. She had no idea how long she'd been there, time was irrelevant. It was getting closer, she could feel it. She stole a quick look over her shoulder: nothing. She could see nothing behind her. She ran into something soft. Her head snapped around although she already knew who it was. Mulder. She breathed his name as she wrapped her arms around him and lost herself in his embrace. They couldn't harm her now, not with Mulder there to protect her. She looked up at his caring face, and then they were kissing passionately. Something was wrong. He wasn't Mulder. She tried to pull away, but his grip on her arms tightened. She no longer saw Mulder in his face. Instead, she saw-nothing. She tried to scream, to run away. Now she was really frightened, this wasn't right. Where was Mulder? She called his name, desperately wanting him to answer. She could feel them getting closer, with him holding her there. Something brushed against her shoulder and she screamed. Scully woke up with a start, tears streaming down her face. She took a deep, ragged breath as she sat up in bed, trying to clear her head of the nightmare, not quite able to catch her breath. She sensed something in the room. "I've been having nightmares," she looked up into her partner's worried eyes. He must have heard her scream. "Every night or so for the past week." Mulder sat on the side of her bed, getting up from his former kneeling position. "Why didn't you tell me?" "It's just a dream, Mulder. I'm fine, honestly." He took in the rims around her eyes, her tearstained face and her dishevelled clothing. He had known Scully for more than five years now, and had never seen her this upset over 'just a dream'. She wasn't fine. "Yeah, you look fine." She looked down at her hands, which were still shaking. Mulder took her hands in his own, giving her the extra strength she needed. "It's the same every time," she started, "I - I start off running. I don't know who I'm running from, but I'm scared. I look back over my shoulder, and - and there's nothing there. And then I run into someone, it's you. At least I think it's you. But it's not. It's not you. I don't know who it is." Mulder squeezed her hand reassuringly. She took a deep breath and shot him a grateful look. "Suddenly I can't get away. Whatever has a hold of me isn't letting go. He's strong. But something else is coming. It seems to be the same people I was running from before." "Who?" asked Mulder gently. "I - I don't know. I can't see anyone, and whoever - whatever is holding me - he doesn't have a face." She gave him a meaningful look, "We've both seen them Mulder," she managed to say, while trying to hold back the tears that were threatening. "Oh...Dana," Mulder now understood why she was so upset. "Each time it's more real. Tonight was the worst so far. Every time I have the dream, I'm more afraid. The - the emotions seem more real. Mulder, I've *never* had dreams like this before." Mulder had a feeling that Scully wasn't telling him the whole story, but he said nothing as he took her into his arms. They stayed there for a while, Scully taking great comfort from Mulder's arms. She knew that she should pull away, tell him to go back to his own room, before anything happened that shouldn't. Couldn't. That, added to all that had happened between them in the dream told her to pull away from him. But she didn't. And as she drifted off to a dreamless sleep, the last thing she remembered was the man she loved telling her it was going to be alright. It was about four when Scully awoke briefly. She didn't stay awake for long though, the rhythmic sound of Mulder's breathing, and the feeling of lying in his arms lulled her back to sleep before she could consider their reason for being like that. She dreamed again. This time it wasn't completely dark. There was a light flickering somewhere in the distance. Scully knew she should head towards that light. Maybe Mulder was there; maybe it was his flashlight. She hoped so. She *had* to find him. He could save her from-from whatever it was that was chasing her. She could hear something breathing behind her. She tried to increase her speed, hoping that she was fast enough to escape it. What if she couldn't get away? It was getting closer, she could feel it. She shouted out Mulder's name, needing him to hear her. She had to know what she was being chased from. As she heard a noise behind her, she turned to look. There was nothing there. Why couldn't she see anything? There had to be *something* there. She exhaled sharply as she ran into something. She knew who it was before she fully realised that she had ran into him. It could only be Mulder. She felt him encircle her in his arms and kiss her hair, saying that it was going to be alright, she was safe now. And she felt safe, although she knew what was coming next. She knew she shouldn't kiss him, shouldn't relax with him, but she couldn't stop herself. As she raised her face to him, something inside her was screaming at her not to let him kiss her. But something drew her to him, something that was far stronger than any 'inner voice'. As their lips met, the electricity was instant. She knew, even as they were kissing, that this was not Mulder. She knew him too well to think that it was. But his kisses were so passionate, it was hard to pull away. Eventually she did, and looked down at the ground. It was when she looked back up that she screamed. Mulder awoke to the sounds of Scully tossing and turning in his arms. He realised that she must be having another dream. He knew that he had to wake her, these dreams seemed to be a nightly feature, and he knew from experience how unsettling it was. Mulder gave her a gentle shake, knowing that wouldn't be enough. She was looking scared now. He didn't know what was so terrible about her dream that she couldn't even tell him, but it didn't matter. He didn't want her to have to go through it for a second more than was necessary. He shook her a little harder, calling out her name just loud enough to break through to her. Her head jerked at the sound, but still she didn't wake. This was worrying him. He hated seeing her like this. "Scully," he said a little louder, smoothing back the hair from her face. Suddenly, Scully's eyes opened, and Mulder breathed a sigh of relief. She looked around and shut her eyes briefly, before finally settling them on Mulder's worried face. He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and shook his head gently, "God, Dana, I don't know what this is doing to you, but it's killing me." Scully felt a wave of longing wash over her, and buried her head in Mulder's chest, letting him caress her hair. She pulled away slightly, and looked at him fondly, "I'm fine Mulder." Mulder snorted indignantly at this, "for god's sake Dana, you are *not* fine. I can see how this is -" "Mulder I've been having this dream for a week now and I've coped," her voice matched the angry tone of his, "you didn't even know about it until last night. I can deal with this." Scully's voice had a dangerous edge to it, but Mulder was too angry to care. "No you can't. I knew that there was something up with you, I know you better than that, but I didn't dare ask, because I knew you'd tell me exactly what you always do. That you're fine." They sat staring at each other angrily, neither willing to back down, neither willing to break the tense silence. Then Mulder's expression softened and he ran his thumb down her cheek, drying the tears that had settled there. No apologies were needed. She gave a kind of half sniff and smiled at him wistfully. That smile nearly broke Mulder's heart. This whole mess was hurting her a lot more than she was letting on. "Dana," he started softly, "you forget that I know you better than I know myself. I know how much this is affecting you. And I hate seeing you like this." Another tear ran down Scully's cheek and Mulder leaned in to kiss it away. Scully's heart melted at the gesture. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead on his. "Thank you," she whispered softly, barely audible. "For what?" Mulder asked, his voice just as soft. Scully's gaze became all the more intense as she answered; "everything." He smiled and pulled away a fraction, pinning her with his eyes, "anytime. I'm here for you Dana. Always." And then he did something he'd wanted to do since they had first met. He leaned in to kiss her. Scully shut her eyes and melted into his tender kiss, running a hand through his hair. The kiss said everything that they couldn't. All their desire, their love-it could never be said. Not unless something changed. There were just too many risks involved. They could never have a *relationship*. Not with the combined forces of the FBI and the cigarette lobby breathing down their necks. It could just never work. No matter how strongly they felt for each other. With that kiss came a silent vow. Although they knew it could never happen, they both knew that they would love each other forever. No matter what. Nothing could come between them now. Scully pulled away slowly, not wanting it to ever end, but knowing it had to. She missed the sensation of Mulder's lips against hers already. Mulder shut his eyes as she rested her head on his chest, and tried to ignore the ache that he felt there. He wrapped one arm around her protectively, determined never to let her go, and took her hand with the other. When she gripped his hand, he knew that she was crying, and tried to ignore the solitary tear running down his cheek. For now, that particular wish would have to stay as it was. Just a dream. *********************************************************************** These Dreams. She lies on the bed with her hands in her head and she screams, He gets a kick out of losing the plot so it seems, He made you all laugh so she's the one doing harm, But how can you fight when you're not the one under his arm? These dreams have let you down, Take it don't break it just turn it around, These dreams won't let you down. Never stopped loving his misfortunate lazy ways, All the memories that you should have had are a cabaret haze, There's just a hole where you know he should have been, There's no one worse off than you when you can't describe what you've seen. These dreams have let you down, Take it don't break it just turn it around. These dreams won't let you down. Where do you go when you're all alone in your bed? Do you cry in your sleep cause it's better unsaid? Have you forgotten your past because that's how it seems? Is it too hard to think so you edit your dreams? And play them back, Again and again. These dreams have let you down, Take it don't break it just turn it around These dreams won't let you down. You've got tomorrow tomorrow... These Dreams, Robbie Williams. *********************************************************************** Remember, my in-box loves feedback! But no flames please, it's very sensitive, and not just a little neurotic;-) Please let me know if I should do a sequel. I have a few ideas... *************************************************************** ********************************************************* *************************************************** ********************************************* *****************byee!*****************