--You get told to slow down by your doctor, not the police.
--Your narrow waist and broad mind begin to change places.
--Your descendants outnumber your friends.
--You still have everything you had 20 years ago, it's just lower.
--Your candles cost more than your birthday cake.
You know you're over the hill when your husband sends you this lovely bouquet--of prunes.
Old people shouldn't eat health foods, they need all the preservatives they can get.
You know you're over the hill when your back goes out more than you do, that gleam in your eye is just the sun on your bifocals, and you get around just like your great-grandkids, with a walker.
Another candle on your cake? That's no cause to pout. Be glad that you have strength enough to blow the damned thing out.
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
You know you're over the hill when bartenders check your pulse instead of your ID.
You don't care where your spouse goes as long as you don't have to go along.
Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.
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