Catching a possum
Possum and Taters
Possum Pot Pie
Possum Creole
Australian Possum
Possum Stew
Texan Possum Chili
Possum Tartare
Nutrition Facts
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Since all the recipes here involve possum, I figured it might be worth it to include a section on how to get your hands on one.
I know of several ways to catch a possum. Perhaps the easiest
is to simply drive around for a while in your truck. The problem
will soon resolve itself.
(SCCRRRREEEEEEECCHHH!!. . . SPLAT. . .)
Much more fun, however, is to take your dogs and shotgun, and
go into the woods and hunt one down. The advantage to this method
is that you don't have to scrape the possum off the pavement. The
disadvantage is that you do have to worry about shotgun pellets
in the meat.
(OUCH! Dadgum it! There went my best tooth!)
Not to mention that a shotgun blast can really mess up the hide,
which makes it a lot harder for the taxidermist.
It is also possible to set traps to catch a possum, but this
method is notoriously unreliable. Possums like to stay in the
trees, and you're much more likely to catch something else.
(Hey, Ed! There's something in the trap! See them bushes moving?
Let's see what it is! . . . OH, SH*T! IT'S A SKUNK!!)
Possums are also notoriously hard to kill, and they will play dead if threatened. I remember hearing about someone who had a possum get in his garage one time. He was real mad about something, and having a possum rooting around in his garage making a mess just made it worse, so he took after that thing with a shovel. The possum never had a chance. He did have to chop its head off to make sure it was dead; otherwise they just get up and walk off. It was real strange; right after he beheaded the possum, lightning or something struck the garage, blowing out all the lightbulbs and giving him quite a shock. (If you don't get the joke here, don't worry.)
Please note that we're talking about the North American opossum here. There is a species of possum native to Australia which is endangered. It is strictly illegal to hunt, trap, or kill an Australian possum.
Then again, if you take this page seriously anyway... you might be a redneck.
That ought to get you started. Now, on to the recipes...
Ingredients:
1 young, fat possum
8 sweet potatoes
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon sugar
salt
Directions: First, catch a possum. This in itself is excellent
entertainment on a moonlight night. Skin the possum and remove
the head and feet. Be sure to wash it thoroughly. Freeze
overnight either outside or in a refrigerator.
When ready to cook, peel the potatoes and boil them tender in
lightly salted water along with the butter and sugar. At the same
time, stew the possum tender in a tightly covered pan with a
little water. Arrange the taters around the possum, strip with
bacon, sprinkle with thyme or marjoram, or pepper, and brown in
the oven. Baste often with the drippings.
Ingredients:
1 cup glazed huckleberries
3 shots gin or moonshine
1 possum
---if roadkill: make jambalaya
---if caught: proceed with recipe
1 pie crust
sliced carrots & cabbage to taste
Directions:
Cover a pan (or any implement you can put in a fire) with the
bottom of your pie crust, and place the possum in it. Add the
huckleberries and carrots, and shred the cabbage over it. Close
up the pie and bake until the neighbors' dogs come sniffing
around to see what the wonderful smell is, or until the fire
department arrives (whichever comes first). Remove pie from
fire/oven, slice, and enjoy.
----this recipe provided by Anthony Trummert
Ingredients:
1 slightly injured possum
1 cup mayonnaise
8 cups pig fat
2 cups buttermilk
2 fresh green peppers
Directions: Slice green peppers and mix ingredients in a large
bowl(exclude possum). Cut possum into chunks or thin strips. Mix
possum chunks into bowl. Transfer contents of bowl into a
casserole dich and bake under 350 degrees for two hours. Remove
from oven, let sit for half an hour, and serve. ENJOY!!
----This recipe provided by Ryan Hayes
If it's dead, then this recipe may serve a purpose.
Ingredients:
two cans of tomatoe sauce
three cans of cooked tomatoes
1/2 thickly sliced worthog meat(mainly for flavor)
a big bag of pasta noodles (any redneck kind will do)
salt and pepper
1/2 possum (other 1/2 can be used for breakfast possum-omlettes)
Directions:
Fry bacon in big gramma kettle, over mid. size fire, then fry
possum in the grease till golden brown. Take the meat out, then
add enough water to pot to fill 2/3 way and then boil noodles.
Once cooked add both things of tomatoes to kettle and meat and
add enough salt and pepper to old granny's taste. Cook all
together for a bout 1 hour simmering over low fire to sautee.
Bone Appa Teet.
--Anonymous (But not the same one who wrote "Primary
Colors")
Ingredients:
1 large possum or 2 small (good and dead-really dead)
3 onions chopped
1 pound sausage
15 jalapenos
5 tomatoes
2 red peppers chopped
3 squirrels, cut into pieces
1 armadillo
1 cup tea
1/4 can Copenhagen
Chop up everything (be sure to skin the 'dillo) set it on the
fire (or stove, if ya wanna be fancy) let it boil until the dogs
howl. Eat with regard to the bones and serve with cheese (not
green) and more onions. This is actually a recipe my cousins
taught me how to cook. It is actually edible. ---Submitted by
Scarlett Lee Moody (luminary@etal.com)
1. Kill a possum by Method #1 as described above.
2. Sprinkle liberally with salt, pepper, and garlic. Some folks
also like onion.
3. Run over it one more time to mix the spices in thoroughly.
4. Contact your mental health professional and inform him of what
you're about to do.
Serving size: Depends on the possum
Servings per container: Depends on the possum
Amount per serving:
Calories: Depends on the possum
Total fat: Depends on the possum
Sodium: Depends on the possum
Total carbohydrate: Depends on the possum
Protein: Depends on the possum