~"reflections"~
Taylor couldn’t believe what had just happened. He pulled his car to a stop near the park. The silence in the car was so complete that it was scary. She had moved on Enough to make anyone cry was the feeling of being unwanted, especially by the person you want most. Taylor flicked the radio on again in frustration.
"…..Baby when you’re gone, I realise I’m in lo-ooooo-ve"
Taylor caught himself smiling and snapped it off again. He could distinctly picture Kayla and Keryn in the kitchen waving steak knives at each other as they argued about the song. Kayla had said it was only cool cos it had Bryan on it and Keryn was jumping up and down doing sporty spice style kicks. It was a funny sight. That was when everything was fine. Now everything was crap and the song just sounded too depressing. And too real. It even said "I’ve got the TV on cos the radio’s playing songs that remind me of you." Taylor rolled his eyes in frustration, Great, Sporty Spice knows how I feel. Life was not going good for Taylor.
He wished he hadn’t blown it while he had the chance. He began to start the car again and slowly roll out of the parking space. He couldn’t get his mind around the idea that Keryn had found someone else. Sure she had had boyfriends before but they weren’t Justin. Justin was a totally different ball game what-so-ever. Justin was Keryn’s best guy friend in LA, just as Taylor was her best guy friend in Tulsa. It all seemed too familiar for Taylor’s liking. Way too familiar.
The car by now was automatically heading home. Once again it hit Tay that it wasn’t possible to go home and talk about this with Ike. Nope. There would be no midnight gathering in their room to swear about Justin because Ike not only liked Justin but had problems of his own. And Zac? Taylor could try but there were no guarantees and Zac was prone to laughing at his problems. Now that the parents were home, life was tougher. Mom had no time for moping sons, she had too much on her plate.
The recording was looming in the future too. There was music to be written. Taylor had been writing lots lately, but none of it he would ever show his brothers, let alone record. He pulled into the driveway. He was going to have to deal with this himself. No more feeling sorry for himself. He, as slamming the car door shut, decided it was best to not let on to the others about Justin. He would never hear the end of it then. Slowly and deliberately Taylor paced towards the house.
Ike lay on his back in the backyard. It was the only quiet place he could find. In the distance he could hear Taylor walking in the front door. Faintly he was able to make out his conversation with their Mom. He was obviously in another mood. Ike tuned out.
As he lay in the cool night air he comforted himself with the thought that Kayla was at least under the same sky. He couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t talk too him. She had picked up the phone and talked once or twice but it wasn’t real talking, more, ‘hows the weather where you are’ talking. Very formal. Very un-Kayla. Dan’s death had sapped her spirit. She had wilted since it happened and, according to Keryn, become passive and quiet. It all seemed alien to him. He could never think of her like that. His most memories of her were all lively not passive. He wished that she would say ‘yes, come and see me’ he was stationed in Tulsa and hated it. But he wouldn’t leave. To just turn up would seem to forced, too desperate, she wouldn’t want it. But he had to admit that he had been considering it.
He rolled up and begun picking the grass off his back. Taylor seemed to be okay at the moment, he seemed to be moving on from his Keryn phase. Ike just prayed that his suspicions of Justin and Keryn were untrue. He knew that that would be a dagger in Taylor’s back.
By now all the grass had been picked off and he began to get off the ground. Maybe he thought Maybe, with having to go back to the studios to record we could see them in LA. Ike refused to believe that Kayla wouldn’t liven up at the sight of him. Though he was afraid, due to her phone calls, that all had died. But they can’t of! he tried to tell himself. He shut his eyes and put himself where he was a week ago. It seemed like heaven now. But that was in the past. He lumbered to the back door.
Zac watched as Ike walked into the house. Life sucked when his brothers were on ‘pondering mood.’ Taylor had just come home from night time car driving. And now Ike, his older and supposedly wiser brother had just come inside from his night time lying on the grass. The things his family did. Sometimes he wished he was an only child.
He and Gillian had been having a hoot lately, it was fun to have someone like her to talk too, other than his brothers. She was nice, if you got over her aggressive side. Actually the more Zac thought about it the more he thought his life, at the moment, rocked. But he couldn’t completely bask in joy as his best friends, his brothers were so upset.
Ike had turned into a wandering mummie in the last week. Kayla’s fast departure had left them all a but dazed but it had left Ike truly without a leg, well practically without a leg. Sure Ike had only known her for a short time, but it was an intense short time. Zac could comprehend why everyone was so shell shocked over Dan’s death. They all hated him anyways why the sudden outpour of grief? It confused him.
Taylor half entered the boys bedroom and retracted after seeing Zac sitting on his bed. Zac came to the conclusion that while he was out driving his car he also took the time to suck on a few lemons. I wonder what’s biting his butt now?
Zac took his lego out and began to fiddle. He knew that Taylor’s mood probably had something to do with Keryn. He had been talking to her just before he went driving. He had also been shouting out things about ‘Mustin Custard’ so maybe he was just delusional. Zac dismissed the deep thinking and turned the Nintendo 64 on.
Keryn shut the door behind Justin and walked into the lounge to clean up. They had eaten Chinese so there wasn’t too much to clean up. She absentmindedly picked up the rice cartons and moved into the kitchen. Taylor and Justin’s exchanged bothered her. Their bitter words on the phone seemed out of character in for both of them. She shuddered. She started to fill the sink with hot water.
Keryn wasn’t sure who she was more mad at, Taylor for listening through the phone, Justin for reacting so harshly or herself for putting them in this situation. I should have made it clear at the airport…instead of….instead of…..kissing him thought Keryn. She knew that Taylor would be confused. She also knew that she missed him like hell. Although she loved Justin, nothing could ever fill Taylor’s space. Nothing.
She broke out into a smile as she thought of Justin. It had just happened. Honestly. Her arrival home and then Dan’s death had thrust them together again and made them challenge what they thought of each other. It wasn’t even a conscious decision. It had just happened. Kayla in the midst of it all had noticed and not said a word but it seemed right. It felt so comfortable. Keryn’s smile broadened. They way that Justin would hold her and tell her not to fret or worry made everything feel okay. And sometimes it made her forget about what happened with Taylor. What was left, just hanging.
Keryn plunged her hands into the sink and brought them out again with a yelp. The water was boiling. She ran the cool tap over them. She tried not to think about Taylor, it hurt too much. She wanted to concentrated on Justin. She smiled again. He was so cute. Wiping her hands on a tea-towel she left the kitchen to get ready for bed.
Justin sat in his car watching as Keryn did the dishes in front of her kitchen window. With her brow furrowed, he wondered what she was thinking about. He watched until she left the kitchen. He started the ignition and slowly pulled into the street. He turned the radio on and immediately began singing along. It was ‘Lullaby.’ It seemed fitting for the moment. The car rolled down the street and turned onto the main road.
Justin felt so happy that everything had worked out with Keryn. He felt so needed when he was with her. He smiled as he sang. The smiled dropped quickly as he thought of Taylor and their heated words. ‘What was with that guy’ he thought. It didn’t sound like the Taylor that Keryn spoke fondly of, but it was. Over the phone he seemed so angry, and it wasn’t like it was random anger but anger aimed directly at him. Justin shook his head, he hadn’t even met the guy. It seemed too odd for words.
Even as he drove Dan was still in the back of his mind. Unlike the girls, Justin had begun to ask why Dan would do it. The only reason that he could see was to take Kayla away from Ike. He had probably figured out that she would have to come home if he died and so, being the drastic person that he was decided that if he couldn’t have her nobody could. Justin clenched the wheel harder and vowed to himself that he would make sure that never happened.
As Kayla rounded the corner with all her shopping she saw Justin. She waved too him but he couldn’t see her as he was singing along with the radio. ‘He is such a goof’ She thought to herself. She continued walking back to Keryn’s. She wondered what exactly he was doing so late at her place anyways, she made a mental note to ask Keryn as soon as she got in. He had been such a star, Justin had. If he hadn’t had been here when she arrived home Kayla was sure that she would have broken down. He was a fantastic pillar of strength and really deserved Keryn.
Kayla swung her shopping bags and thought about what would be going on at Tulsa. With a jolt she was taken back to thoughts of Ike. She could picture him now wandering around aimlessly. She glanced up at the sky, ‘Well at least we’re under the same sky’ she thought. Kayla herself couldn’t justified her lack of communication to Ike. He just seemed so far away that she knew that she would get all worked up if she tried to start telling him about what happened. He would be so understanding that she knew that she would have to see him. Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing but then again maybe it was. She was so confused.
She trotted up the stairs to Keryn’s door. As she placed her shopping on the floor to fumble with her keys she decided that it was time to forget about Dan. She couldn’t keep behaving like this because this is exactly what Dan would have wanted. She didn’t want him to win even through death. She turned around and waved a clenched fist at the sky as if warning Dan to stay away before bursting through the door to ring Ike.
Chapter twenty~five
HOME
Chapter twenty~seven
Want to talk to the authors? Join "the backspace key"
Or e-mail us at poodle_face@hotmail.com