~"On the third stroke, the time will be . . ."~

Keryn hummed along to the song that took over her thoughts. She wasn't scared anymore. Everything had all of a sudden calmed. The uncomfortable rocking of the ship seemed unnoticeable now. She could hear pelting water on their window. But, that was fine now too. It seemed nice after a while. To think that they were the only ones in the ocean, but the ship was that strong and sturdy, that it became some sort of adventure.

The room was dark, the lights had gone out about thirty minutes ago. But the eerie darkness seemed to vanish with the warmth she felt around her.

Keryn looked down to the floor. Taylor had fallen asleep. He seemed exhausted. The floor must've been hard though, and cold. But he was refusing to wake up, so she covered him with two blankets when the lights went out.

Keryn rolled over and stared at the wall. Things had for sure changed over these past few days. It was amazing. She had never thought that she would be sharing this kind of relationship with Taylor. Perhaps it was always hoped, but never to come true. All those years she never knew that he felt the same way. Keryn just thought that she could go along, every day, dismissing all thoughts and feelings other than friendship that had flowed through her mind.

Keryn rolled over again and looked at him. He looked so peaceful. Even when his flashing eyes were closed his face still lit up. He was the sweetest, most interesting guy that she had ever met.

Keryn sighed. She wondered how Ike and Kayla were going. Ike popped his head in earlier, saying that he had found her. He was soaking wet, which meant he had been on the top decks. The dangerous things some do for love. Keryn giggled. Who knew where the two of them were now.

Keryn let her head sink into the pillow and she closed her eyes.

There was still that song in her head. She started to hum along to it as she tried to fall asleep.



Taylor had woken up a good half an hour ago, it was just as Keryn covered him up. But he hadn't revealed that he was awake. Taylor just listened. To their breathing patterns. He wondered what she was thinking about. He heard her giggle a few minutes ago, which was seriously weird. Who knew what she was thinking. Taylor smiled.

Now she was making a humming noise.

Taylor shivered. Despite his coverings, it was quite cold on the floor. He longed to be up in the bed. But that wouldn't be right. There was Kayla's bed however. Taylor looked over. There goes that idea. Her bed was covered with junk. There was like a rainbow of clothing and open suitcases, along with strange tourist bits and pieces. It wasn't worth the effort.

Taylor yawned. The past few days had been excellent. She finally figured out what she meant to him. And the other way around. There were some clues a few years ago that she liked him. But nothing major. Just ideas that came and went. But now, he couldn't believe that they had like each other in the same way for so long. This relationship could've started ages ago.

Her humming had turned to a half asleep humming.

He wanted to wake her up now. So they could talk for the rest of the night. He was bored and at this rate he was not going to get back to sleep.

He thought of Ike and wondered where he was. He shivered in the room before, telling them that he found Kayla. That's all he said. His brother was stupid. Him and Kayla were both being stupid. Why on earth would they stand on the top deck in a storm? It was more than beyond Taylor.

Taylor shook his blankets off and climbed up onto his knees, crawling over to the bed. "Hey, wake up," Taylor shook Keryn.

"I'm awake" she slightly moaned.

Taylor pushed himself up to sit on the bed. "I want you to be awake. I will leave the room if you don't wake up."

"You wouldn't dare," she laughed.

"The question is, would I really want to?"

Keryn pretended to think. "Mmmmm. . . Probably." She nodded and rolled over to face the wall.

"Oh, no you don't." Taylor laid down and shuffled in next to her.

"You just want a warm bed, you weirdo."

"Haha. . . shut up you freakazoid." Keryn rolled over and pretended to be hurt. "Aww, well, you did call me a weirdo."

Keryn smiled. He was so cute.

Their eyes met and they started to laugh, until their lips met.



She felt a gush of tears rush down her face as she slid down the bathroom wall. The cold tiles sent shivers down her back as she took residence on the floor. She looked at the clock, one in the morning. The tears wouldn't stop. She didn't want them to stop. She would just cry it out over time. She wished.

She pulled herself up off the floor and looked at her frailed face in the mirror. Her body was long and skinny and her hair looked a mess. Make-up that hadn't been taken off after the night had ran everywhere.

She took residence, this time, on the floor in front of the cupboard. She let herself spring up into a ball, a tight ball. Why did it have to happen to her?

Everything had always seemed to go wrong. Everything. Why couldn't anything go right for a change? This was more than terrible.

She stared at the tiles beneath her. She could blame her life on someone else. She wished that someone else would live her life for her.

Everything had seemed to just fit in together. The hiccups of the past were gently being brushed away, and then this happened. How could she let it happen?

She wasn't ready for a relationship at the moment. Fun was nice. But not even a relationship. Who in this world even began to think that she was ready for this?

She crawled over to the toilet bowl again and, in her silent way, threw up. At least the cause of the last months despair was revealed.

The house was silent. She felt uneasy as she lay on the cold floor, spilling tears from her eyes.



Zac was hidden away in the covers. It was one in the morning and he still hadn't caught a glimpse of his sleepy land.

He stared at the roof and remembered the glow in the dark stars that used to live there. They used to make him feel like he was laying on a grassy field, taking it all in. But, not anymore. He just had to try and get himself to sleep with the darkness.

His brothers were expected back in a few days. He wished now that he asked to go on that cruise with his brothers. His parents surely would've let him. But he didn't ask, so that was his fault.

The week had started off boring, but then it started to get wild. He was hanging around with his new best friend, Andrew, for the majority of the time. They just did a whole heap of stuff that him and his brothers used to do. Used to do.

Zac brought himself up into a ball to create some warmth. With his thinking, it allowed him to start drifting off to sleep.

He felt a chill rush down his spine that slightly woke him up. At that moment he wished that his brothers were in the room with him. He hated being so alone. He couldn't wait till they returned.

He looked up at the clock again. "Ten past one," he slowly muttered. As the thought left his head, it took him into his little slumberland.



"The phone's not supposed to ring this late" Kayla whined as she picked up the high pitched ringing machine that sat next to her. "What?" Kayla grunted as she got up to stand in the middle of the chilly, dark room.

"Hello?!" She called into the phone as if she was about to hunt down and kill the person on the other side of the line.

Without anything else, Kayla slammed down the phone and looked at her watch with the shine coming through from the ocean. Ten p-m. It didn't even seem that early.

Kayla bounced down onto the bed. The phone made her think of something. Something that wasn't supposed to happen. Something extremely strange. She needed to know why her mother rang. To tell her she loved her? That didn't sound like her mother at all. Her mother was always so cold. She had grown to fear her family over the past. And now, what was with this sudden turn?

Kayla stretched up off the bed as a realisation dawned on her. Her cell phone was ruined. "They can't really survive in water" Ike had said when they were walking back to the room. But this meant that her mother had no other way of contacting her. Kayla couldn't really come to the conclusion of whether this was a good thing. Or whether it was a bad thing.



Ike could hear Kayla rustling around the room. Which meant, of course, that she was still in there. He wanted to keep her near. He needed to keep her near. He never wanted to lose her again.

That's the way he felt. He felt that he had lost her over the past month. Nothing at all seemed right until now. It had all reformed to what it was when she visited them with Keryn. It had reshaped into something a whole lot better.

Ike sighed and rolled over. He could see Kayla over the other side of the small room. She was deep in thought. She had her dead cell phone in her hand. It was as if she were giving it a funeral or something.

But Ike knew the real reason that she was pondering on the phone. The night had been full of experiences. Ike saw that Kayla had felt something when her mother called her. Whether it was anger, or love. That was another story.

Ike thought of Zac. He hadn't seen his little brother, or the rest of his family for that matter, in a few days. He had spent a lot of time away from them lately. He was starting to miss them. He was going to be nineteen this year. He still needed to gain some independence. He wanted to move out of home. But he still didn't know whether he was ready to or not. Ike wanted to, but he didn't know whether to reach out and grab the opportunities, or let them float by, unnoticed. His parents must see that he feels this way. He didn't want to leave his brothers though. He had become so close to them over these past few years. Despite the occasional arguments, they were all best friends.

Ike sighed again and pulled Kayla down onto the bed. She was startled, until she fell next to him. Ike covered them up and they fell asleep.



Keryn woke again at four. She found herself tangled up with Taylor in the small, single bed. It was freezing. The ship had stopped it's sway and all that could be heard outside was the gust of wind and the patter of damp rain.

Keryn blinked her eyes open and closed. She realised that the lights had came on and they were beaming in her eyes. It was a wonder they hadn't woken her up earlier.

Keryn pushed herself up and she carefully climbed over Taylor and stumbled to the floor. "Ouch,"

Keryn silently got up and walked over to the light switch.

Groan.

Yawn.

Sigh.

Keryn turned around. "Good morning babe," she called over to the bed.

"Honey. . ." Taylor dragged out his voice, mimicking a married couple.

"Oh pumpkin." Keryn started to walk over to one of the portholes. She didn't bother turning the light out. "I think the sun's gonna come out soon."

"Mmm. . . nice." Taylor had his eyes closed and was smiling to himself.

"You're not usually this cheery at four a-m," Keryn observed.

"I feel it shall be a spiffy day," Taylor laughed.

Keryn looked out the window again. "This rain doesn't look like it will last all that long. It's really damp."

"I don't care about the rain. I just want to sleep all day." Taylor closed his eyes again and went into his blissful smile.

"Oh, no you don't. I also plan to spend an extremely spiffy day. . . with you."

"I'm not stopping you." Taylor grinned.

"Oh Taylor babe. You are just too much." Keryn smiled, but she felt a little weird inside. Her glance went out the window again. It was still freezing. Avoiding the question was all she could do at the moment. And she felt that there was a question in Taylor's statement. Or, maybe there wasn't and she was just imagining things. The time would come. But this is the time she still had no idea of.

Keryn felt someone behind her. "What are you thinking?"

"Oh, nothing," Keryn sighed as Taylor wrapped his arms around her. She felt warm now.

"You know, I think this is still a bit weird," Taylor started. "Awesome weird. Wonderfully strange."

"Oh Taylor," Keryn turned and looked up at him. "You are an awesome weird and wonderfully strange guy," she giggled.

"Yeah, but this whole friends thing. I still can't believe what we share now. I can freely do this. . ." He reached out and kissed her. "And following it with this." He tightly hugged her. "And there would be no analysation there. It's just completely normal."

Keryn knew that he was right. It felt really good though. To be this close to someone. They had known each other for so long and the sight of him still gave her butterflies. "I love it," Keryn said.

He hugged her again and they just stood there for a while. It seemed like an eternity. Keryn fell asleep in his arms. He smiled and they gently walked over to the bed and collapsed in there again, huddling under the blankets.

"I love you," he whispered.



She stumbled out of her place on the floor and looked up at the clock. It could now be seen. It read about six in the morning. She didn't realise the reason of her residence on the floor. But after a few seconds it all came flooding back. Like a lifetime lived in all of ten minutes. That's what hers seemed like. She had achieved anything, no reason for the parents to be proud. No reason for herself to be proud. No real reason for anything anymore.

She analysed the last five years. The first two were clear. But the last three were a bit hazy. What had happened? She felt alone. There was no one there to counsel her through all of her grief. There were a few, or a lot, that would most likely want to spit in her face. This would just cause her more despair.

She sighed and looked at the clock again. Two minutes had past. It seemed like a lifetime at that moment. How was she going to get through the rest of it all? It was all a big pain. It hurt so much. It was too much. It was the last thing she asked for, if she had even asked at all.

Tears started to freely fall again. People would be up soon. They wouldn't care to see her though. She was sure that if they passed her room they wouldn't look in. They wouldn't care to see if they found her dying in her bed. In a pool of blood. Three minutes to live. They wouldn't care.

But she wouldn't let them have that. She wouldn't let them get out the easy way. She would let them all see what they have done.

She pulled up on to her legs again and looked into the mirror. She saw a clearer view of disgust that what had been discovered last night. There were large, red bags under her eyes. They stung. The rattiness of her somewhat long hair. She thought it looked like a piece of carpet. The swollen lips. The stained cheeks. Any wonder she was the way she was.

She thought about the days plans. Another day here. In the hole that she called a life. With one hard punch she hit her reflection. The mirror shook a little, but it didn't smash her. Why?!

She slid down the cupboard again. That was her lame way of killing her reflection. If she could never see herself again, she would be happier.



Kayla hugged Ike. He was still asleep. The room had lit up twenty-five minutes ago. Kayla couldn't seem to get back to sleep since. She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. She hugged him again, tightly. She was glad that he was her Ike. She would never let him go again. This life was bliss.

Kayla pulled the covers up again. She was restless. She couldn't stay in the same position for over half an hour. It was getting that way.

She pushed the covers down again and went to find Keryn. A morning coffee fix.

She pulled her gown over her flannelette pyjamas and quietly opened the door, walking into the more than cold corridor. It felt like a thousand nails pinching at her cheeks.

As soon as she could, she got her key out and opened their room.

She walked around until she could see the bed. It was a nice site. Kayla didn't have the heart to wake Keryn.

She lay there with her head on Taylor's chest, sleeping. And then he laid there looking slightly uncomfortable, but he was laying there for her. The blankets fallen over them. They looked great together.

Taylor stirred and then opened his eyes. "Sorry," Kayla murmured. She realised she wasn't really on speaking terms with him at the moment.

"It's cool," Taylor yawned and looked down at Keryn, he ran his hands through her hair and looked up at Kayla. The sight made Kayla smile.

"Sorry Taylor. . . about everything."

"Don't worry about it Kayles. Everything's forgotten."

Kayla smiled. "Thanks. I'll go now." Kayla started to make a run for the door.

"Why did you come in here?"

"To see if Keryn wanted to come out for coffee. But I doubt that now."

"Thanks for leaving her here." Taylor whispered.

"Don't mention it."

Kayla left the room to feel the piercing against her face. It was so cold at four fifteen in the morning.

Kayla went into the guy's room and flopped back down onto the bed.

"Where'd you go?" Ike inquired.

"Next door. Those two are too much." Kayla smiled.

"I think they have seen us in major mushy action." Ike laughed.

"Hmmm. . . I suppose so," Kayla laughed. She reached over and kissed Ike. "I'll never let you go."



As the clock hit seven she stretched out over the floor and huddled next to the bath. She felt like she was all cried out. Proven wrong when they started to flow again. This was so not happening. She could've been dreaming. But she still felt the sting in her throat from throwing up and the pain in her hand from punching the mirror. She pondered the situation again.

She had no idea what would happen.

She had no idea what was going on.

All she knew was that she didn't know anything at the moment.

What was left of her friends thought she had an eating disorder. Whatever. She wished. At least then she could waste away.

She heard someone in the house wake up. It was her mother. She was the last person that she needed to see at the moment.

She felt a lump appear in her throat as she thought about the night she spent in the bathroom.

She found the toilet bowl again and let it all out. This was too much. She couldn't live like this. But she had to.

It was another chapter in her screwed up life she would have to deal with.

Margo crawled over to the bin and stared at the cardboard testing box.

"I don't even like babies," she groaned as she looked down at her, soon to be, forming stomach. Reminding herself of her delicate condition, she crawled into a ball and let the tears reform.

chapter thirty~seven HOME chapter thirty_nine
Want to talk to the authors? Join "the backspace key"
Or e-mail us at poodle_face@hotmail.com