The Advantages of Being a Man







Your last name stays the same

The garage is all yours

Wedding plans take care of themselves

Chocolate is just a another snack

You can wear a white shirt to a water park


You don't care if someone notices your new hair cut

Hot wax never comes near you

Same work-more pay

Wrinkles add character

If you retain water, its in a canteen


People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase

You can open your own jars

Three pairs of shoes is more than enough


You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife

The same hair style lasts for years--maybe decades

Christmas shopping accomplished for 25 relatives, on Dec 24th in 45 minutes


You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes

You can quietly watch a game with your friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me"

If you're 34 and single nobody notices

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat

Movie nudity is virtually always female

Monday Night Football

The bathroom lines are 80% shorter

Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind

When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying

A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex

You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go

You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny

You can go to the bathroom without a support group

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend

Your underwear is $10 for a three pack

The National College Cheer leading Championship

You don't have to shave below your neck

Everything on your face stays its original color

Flowers fix everything