So What's the Deal? (Confrontation of Suicide Pt. I)

Circa 1/8/94

A long time ago in a mindstate far away

There lived a soul that hung from life reaching death
Closed up; packed up; ready to die one day
Was his heart as his soul was to take his last breath
But in religion, this soul found his purpose in life
And that was to live and do right by God
So the soul held on, not sure why, but he held onto life
But he still felt like a worm below the sod.
The lost spirit always hit his head on his days
While always looking back to the devastating past
Sometimes he cringed whence looking back in a craze
And wanted to abate how long his days would last
Soul man was a veteran; a veteran of a civil war
'Cause he fought himself everyday just to live
And he lost many battles but he kept on for more
But after it all was over he didn't have much to give
He was all alone. In a crowd he was alone
Yet whilst in all the company of hell he stayed
Tearing away at him piece by piece - flesh from bone
He lay down in the hell fires and he prayed,
And prayed and prayed till it hurt then he prayed some more
Seeking love and happiness and the remuneration for spiritual loyalty
To find the monotony of life, he still wished not to abhore
Himself nor love. For he cherished his Christianity
So what's the deal? He lived. He prayed. He was loyal
But his ass was burned by Satan and his throng
He wanted to curse himself and his life eternal
Because if this was life, he sho nuff didn't want it for long.