Warning!

The following is very irreverent and could offend just about anyone, including your Great Aunt Mabel's 2nd cousin's cat, George.

#1 Thou shalt worship the ground Tori Amos walks on, and any other artist who mentions surviving.

#2 Thou shalt have no other gods aside from Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

#3 Thou shalt buy Courage to Heal and use it thereafter as a paper weight.

#4 Thou shalt buy as many self help books as possible, and keep them in stacks all around your bedroom, to be used as walls and dividers and room partitions where necessary.

#5 Thou shalt journal and thou shalt collage. Thou shalt journal and collage in thy chamber, thou shalt collage with thy blunt scissors and journal with thy crayon or any other instrument thou findest when thou hast self revelation.

#6 Thou shalt be willing and open to being triggered at all times, even if thou knowest not what maketh a trigger.

#7 Thou shalt learn the language of the land, and hence forth thy lips shall utter "perps" and "therps" and so forth.'

#8 Thou shalt assume thou art always wrong, even if the light is green and the car that hit you came through a red light.

#9 Thou shalt apologise in all circumstances, even the car accident just mentioned above.

#10 Thou shalt assume your gut feeling is wrong even though you just "knew" the sign saying "Danger Mine Field Ahead" was something to which you should have paid attention.

#11 Yea verily thou shalt assume thy friends hate and forsake thee when they do not smile at thee, or when they do smile at thee, or when they sleep or when they wake.

*Thou shalt have eleven commandments as thou knowest you can carry the weight of the world on thy shoulders.

And if you obey these commands, thou shalt live long in the wilderness of the survivors.

Written by Kayjay and a friend who would rather not walk through the valley of flames and thus remains anonymous.