April 22, 1999
Page 2
I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted any diary entries but I’ve been extremely busy doing nothing. And I’ve changed my mind about the direction I wanted this diary thing to go. This won’t be a diary just about my Drexel experiences. It will be about my life in general. I know this is kind of weird, I placing my "diary" something that should be kept secret on the Internet, but hey I like sharing. And it gives me a change to vent, and have people read what I say. So if you are reading this, THANK YOU! For real, I only do this so someone will read it and you are reading it, so if I was there I would give you a big huge. Okay, I wouldn’t do that, but, you’re smart, you get the idea.
Okay, check this out. I’m at work (actually right now) and I trip up the steps (I’m real clumsy) and this guy ( some guy in a business suit) looks me in the eye after I trip and says, "I guess you better watch your step". Can you believe that? Like I don’t know I got to watch my step. Was there a reason for him to say that, like right then I purposely chose not to watch my step and that’s the reason I tripped. Okay, okay, maybe I’m over reacting because I’m embarrassed I tripped. Okay that’s exactly why I’m over reacting. I just get so self conscience when I do stuff or when I’m at work. But today I don’t care. I have jeans (I’m not even sure they are clean, they were lying in the floor in my room and they smelled clean), a T-shirt (a USS Enterprise shirt, that this boy who I totally love gave me, but it sucks that he doesn’t feel the same way…OK I’ll stop babbling, but I’m trying to get yall in my world…so I have to babble on), and a slightly wrinkled button down polo shirt. So basically I’m looking bad. But I have good reason.
For some reason I can’t sleep. When I come home, I usually get on the computer and work (okay I chat) and then I never go to sleep. I stay on the computer until the wee-hours in the morning (even though I have to wake up at 5am for work). It’s not the computer keeping me awake, I just don’t feel sleepy. Then when I say, "Camille you need some sleep or you’ll die," I’ll fall asleep then wake up around 3am and just sit there…awake, not doing anything. It’s horrible! Believe me, so I usually fall back asleep, but then I have to wake up at 5am to drive to work! So let me tell you, I’m so tired I really don’t care what I wear.
Okay, that little story was corny. Ummm, let’s see what else is going on in my life? Ummm., I would have to say absolutely nothing. My life is pretty plan and simple. I go to work, I go to school for meetings or any other commitments I have, I come home, get on the computer, repeat. Now I must say I wish my life was a little more exciting but I don’t feel like a complete loser. I have my moments. Well, I use to hang out in the streets, and stuff but I always got myself in some type of trouble, so I stopped that and the association with those people I use to hang out with. Hey, is that called growing up?
So now, I chill by myself. Yup, I’m single and I don’t have many friends. But that’s due mostly by choice. I mean, friends, well, I haven’t encountered many true people. And I feel as though, I’m a very nice, true, honest person, especially with friends. If I’m your friend, believe me I don’t have an alternative reasons for hanging with you except I like your company and I probably think you’re cool. Well, not everyone thinks like me. I’ve been brunt too many times, that now I’m kind of stand off-ish (is that a word?) towards new friends. But hey, it’s cool.
Is any of this making sense to you? Probably not because it’s MY diary! I mean, I am writing this for me, because I love to write, but at the same time I like people to read what I write. So I place it on the net (you know I can’t get a book deal). Even though, I write kind of weird, jumping from topic to topic, believe there is a method to my madness (isn’t that from Hamlet?). Well, this entry is long enough.
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