KIFF'S
PAGE
CHARACTERS

Agent Orange
TOP SPEED: 150MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.7 TONS
 0-60MPH: 7.6 SECONDS
The mad ex-FBI agent will hunt you down with extreme
prejudice if you dare to hit his heavyweight sedan.



 
Autoscum
 TOP SPEED: 220MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 0.6 TONS
0-60MPH: 3.6 SECONDS
Road-going gang of psychos, muggers & murderers who
drive a variety of armored off-roaders.


 
Mech Maniac
TOP SPEED: 220MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 0.4 TONS
 0-60MPH: 3.3 SECONDS
He's a hi-tech hi-spec speed freak who knows no fear. The
Grungebuster is super-quick but super-twitchy, so Mech
needs nerves of steel.


 
Don Dumpster -
TOP SPEED: 100MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 2.6 TONS
0-60MPH: 14.8 SECONDS
Big truck, big guy... no heart. Don's a disgruntled municipal
worker and he drives a customized earthmover. Hard, fast &
heavy.

Ed Hunter -
TOP SPEED: 160MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 2.3 TONS
0-60MPH: 9.6 SECONDS
Survivalist Ed wants to rid the world of commies. But to him,
everyone's a pinko. His armored station wagon's a moving
roadblock.



 
Heinz Faust -
TOP SPEED: 160MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 3.0 TONS
0-60MPH: 7.6 SECONDS
Teutonic Heinz has a supercharged superheavy sport coupe
with go-anywhere tank tracks... don't get caught in his path!


 
Firestorm -
TOP SPEED: 100MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 2.1 TONS
0-60MPH: 8.9 SECONDS
Crazed chem worker firestorm stole a company tanker and
took to racing. The rig is big and the driver is brutal.


 
The Brothers Grimm -
TOP SPEED: 230MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.2 TONS
0-60MPH: 4.2 SECONDS
The funeral funsters will deliver you straight to hell in style
with their nitrous snorting hot-rod hearse.


 
Hammerhead -
TOP SPEED: 210MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 2.0 TONS
0-60MPH: 6.6 SECONDS
Hammy thinks he's a superhero, but actually he's just another
nut. He drives his own twisted creation with demented zeal.


 
Halfwit Harry -
TOP SPEED: 170MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.9 TONS
0-60MPH: 9.4 SECONDS
Harry will try to win at any cost, so he can lavish the winnings
on his pet pig, Squealer. Best stay out of his way if you can.


 
Ivan the Bastard -
TOP SPEED: 150MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.4 TONS
0-60MPH: 9.4 SECONDS
With a Ukraine-manufactured monster truck and a
Vodka-manufactured hangover, Ivan's black mood makes
him a dangerous competitor.


 
Kutter -
TOP SPEED: 280MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.1 TONS
0-60MPH: 4.1 SECONDS
He takes great pleasure in causing pain, and seems curiously
keen to receive punishment in return. Who are you to argue?


 
Wanda Lust
TOP SPEED: 210MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.1 TONS
0-60MPH: 6.7 SECONDS
She's mean, lean, and she's got a killing machine. Wanda's
lust is primarily for blood - yours.


 
Juicy Jones/O.K Stimpson -
TOP SPEED: 170MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.9 TONS
0-60MPH: 8.9 SECONDS
This man loves oranges, but because of his OTT suspension
he tends to spill his orange juice eveywhere./He seems a friendly
kind of guy, but appearances can deceive, and the way he guns
that 4 x 4 along you'd think he's on the run!
(If you're wondering why i put O.K Stimpson, it's because in some
versions it is O.K Stimpson, and his shirt has red marks not orange!)


 
Otis P Jivefunk -
TOP SPEED: 180MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.8 TONS
0-60MPH: 7.7 SECONDS
King of Cool, the Laidback Lord of Lowriders is, however,
inclined to turn into a slavering lunatic if the cat gets it's
paintwork scratched.


 
Psycho Pitbull -
TOP SPEED: 160MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 2.0 TONS
0-60MPH: 9.1 SECONDS
Like a rabid scrapyard dog, he'll come baying for your blood
and your engine oil. If he catches you... it's hamburger time.


 
Screwie Lewie -
TOP SPEED: 220MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.7 TONS
0-60MPH: 6.4 SECONDS
This wacky guy favours the 'supercar/monster truck/light
aircraft/mole machine' mode of transport. He's about as
insane as they come.


 
Burly Shirley
TOP SPEED: 170MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 2.0 TONS
0-60MPH: 9.9 SECONDS
Halfwit Harry's sister is as devoted to Squealer the pet pig as
he is (and has the same single figure IQ).


 
Stella Stunna
TOP SPEED: 230MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.0 TONS
0-60MPH: 4.5 SECONDS
Stella's got herself wired to the battery of her super sleek
racer, she says it gives her an extra buzz... enough said.


 
Stig O'Sore -
TOP SPEED: 150MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.0 TONS
0-60MPH: 11.6 SECONDS
Stig knows that what his car lacks in speed, it more than
makes up for in strength and durability. And he thinks it's
beautiful.


 
Madam Scarlett -
TOP SPEED: 270MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.1 TONS
0-60MPH: 4.1 SECONDS
She's behind the wheel of one of the fastest cars on the
circuit, and she'll take your breath away... for good.


 
Ed 101 -
TOP SPEED: 280MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 0.9 TONS
0-60MPH: 4.2 SECONDS
Ed blew a fuse and went psycho. The crazed android stole a
prototype prized racing coupe in order to cause high-speed
carnage.


 
Val Hella -
TOP SPEED: 220MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.3 TONS
0-60MPH: 5.5 SECONDS
She's the self-crowned queen of the race scene, and her
chariot is aptly equipped with wheel mounted blades.


 
Vlad -
TOP SPEED: 420MPH
KERB WEIGHT: 1.0 TONS
0-60MPH: 2.2 SECONDS
For Vlad, it's not the winning, it's the taking apart that counts.
This car's speed is unbeatable... just don't try to corner it.
 
By and Chris Wilkinson                                                                                                                                                ©1997